FedEx. It's worth the read. So read it. Now.. After every flight. FEDEX pilots out a form, known as a "gripe sheet" to tell mechanics about problems with the ai
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FedEx

It's worth the read. So read it. Now.

After every flight. FEDEX pilots out a form, known
as a "gripe sheet" to tell mechanics about problems
with the aircraft. The mechanics fix the problem, and
then document their repairs on the form.
Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted
by the pilots (marked with a "PH and the solutions
recorded [marked by an "5") by maintenance
engineers, who by the way have a sense of humor:
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
St Left Inside main the almost replaced.
P: Test flight UK, except dutchland very rough.
St, Dutchland not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit
5: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield
St Live bugs on back order.
Pt Auto pilot in mode produces a 200
feet per minute descent.
St Can' t reproduce problem on the ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
til: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
St DME volume set more believeable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That' s what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode,
P: Suspect crack in windshield.
St Suspect you' re right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
St Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, tht right and
be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
St Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit
St Cat installed in cockpit:
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.
Sounds like a midget pounding on something
with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
...
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Views: 33750
Favorited: 348
Submitted: 08/23/2010
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Comments(198):

[ 198 comments ]

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#37 - TheBagelMonster (08/24/2010) [+] (4 replies)
try to take the hammer away from thins midget.
#93 - ghio (08/24/2010) [+] (1 reply)
bitch took my hammer
#118 - TIERY (08/24/2010) [+] (9 replies)
i know some perfect lyrics for that plane:  
  
Around the world, around the world   
Around the world, around the world   
Around the world, around the world   
Around the world, around the world
i know some perfect lyrics for that plane:

Around the world, around the world
Around the world, around the world
Around the world, around the world
Around the world, around the world
#10 - Mozzak (08/24/2010) [+] (5 replies)
I laughed out loud my mom was like WTF???
My mom's a chimpanzee btw.
User avatar #15 to #10 - Mav (08/24/2010) [-]
No, your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries.
#72 - emu (08/24/2010) [+] (5 replies)
this really made my day
#182 - kakemckake (08/24/2010) [+] (1 reply)
i miss that hammer. it was my only friend in that plane...
#150 - TacoFromHell (08/24/2010) [+] (5 replies)
Hey look. There is an arrow between the E and X on FedEx.
#190 - HugePanda (08/24/2010) [-]
im still blaming BP for this.
#156 - GeneralLeeInsane (08/24/2010) [+] (2 replies)
I hate planes.
#162 to #156 - RikuXAuron (08/24/2010) [-]
i like trains
+2
#114 - JackSkellington has deleted their comment [+] (2 replies)
+9
#119 to #114 - JackSkellington has deleted their comment [-]
#63 - corburis (08/24/2010) [-]
This is the only thing i laughed at all day on funnyjunk.
This is the only thing i laughed at all day on funnyjunk.
#167 - PrettyPatties **User deleted account** (08/24/2010) [+] (1 reply)
P: There are snakes on the plane.  
S: I'M TIRED OF THESE MOTHER 						*******					 SNAKES ON THIS MOTHER 						*******					 PLANE!!!
P: There are snakes on the plane.
S: I'M TIRED OF THESE MOTHER ******* SNAKES ON THIS MOTHER ******* PLANE!!!
#112 - shwoodle (08/24/2010) [+] (1 reply)
this made my day, just saying
User avatar #36 - Eggs (08/24/2010) [-]
How cool they are:
Fed Ex-1
UPS-0
#149 - deekman (08/24/2010) [-]
P: Plane crashed in ocean, everyone died but me...
S: Private island getaway!
User avatar #98 - Kreetycal (08/24/2010) [-]
MORE!
#74 - anonymous (08/24/2010) [+] (1 reply)
Cancer
User avatar #1 - lolcakes (08/23/2010) [-]
o those midgets and there hammers
User avatar #127 - WiCkEdJeStEr (08/24/2010) [+] (1 reply)
midget with the hammer was the best one
User avatar #111 - cubanbigfoot (08/24/2010) [+] (1 reply)
Mind Trick: I read IFF as I...F...F, but when I read OFF I read it in O...F...F instead of just off.
User avatar #113 to #111 - dolphinsaysmoo (08/24/2010) [-]
Something...OFF?
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