FedEx. It's worth the read. So read it. Now.. After every flight. FEDEX pilots out a form, known as a "gripe sheet" to tell mechanics about problems with the ai
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FedEx

FedEx. It's worth the read. So read it. Now.. After every flight. FEDEX pilots out a form, known as a "gripe sheet" to tell mechanics about problems with the ai

It's worth the read. So read it. Now.

After every flight. FEDEX pilots out a form, known
as a "gripe sheet" to tell mechanics about problems
with the aircraft. The mechanics fix the problem, and
then document their repairs on the form.
Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted
by the pilots (marked with a "PH and the solutions
recorded [marked by an "5") by maintenance
engineers, who by the way have a sense of humor:
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
St Left Inside main the almost replaced.
P: Test flight UK, except dutchland very rough.
St, Dutchland not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit
5: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield
St Live bugs on back order.
Pt Auto pilot in mode produces a 200
feet per minute descent.
St Can' t reproduce problem on the ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
til: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
St DME volume set more believeable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That' s what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode,
P: Suspect crack in windshield.
St Suspect you' re right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
St Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, tht right and
be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
St Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit
St Cat installed in cockpit:
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.
Sounds like a midget pounding on something
with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
...
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Views: 33766
Favorited: 346
Submitted: 08/23/2010
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Comments(198):

[ 198 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#93 - ghio (08/24/2010) [-]
bitch took my hammer
#128 to #93 - AlpharathT (08/24/2010) [-]
Here you go sir. You can have mine.
#37 - TheBagelMonster (08/24/2010) [-]
try to take the hammer away from thins midget.
User avatar #38 to #37 - TheBagelMonster (08/24/2010) [-]
this*
User avatar #50 to #37 - LittleShippy (08/24/2010) [-]
**** no. Gimli needs his hammer after he lost his ax
+30
#45 to #37 - crapaloosa **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #41 to #37 - swissdude (08/24/2010) [-]
K, sure i guess
*Crack*
GAHHAHAHHAGHAHAH!!!! DUDE NOT COOL.
#72 - emu (08/24/2010) [-]
this really made my day
User avatar #75 to #72 - suergonboi (08/24/2010) [-]
a black midget killed your family
User avatar #78 to #75 - AwesomeAnon (08/24/2010) [-]
they wouldn't give him the damned kfc
User avatar #80 to #78 - suergonboi (08/24/2010) [-]
well your family dun goofed
User avatar #86 to #80 - AwesomeAnon (08/24/2010) [-]
but i sacrificed them and the kfc :'( so he would spare me so i could tell the tale of how it happened
User avatar #87 to #86 - suergonboi (08/24/2010) [-]
cool story bro
#150 - TacoFromHell (08/24/2010) [-]
Hey look. There is an arrow between the E and X on FedEx.
User avatar #151 to #150 - WehrmachtWaffen (08/24/2010) [-]
Not gonna lie it took me a while to notice
User avatar #171 to #151 - jellybellyjc (08/24/2010) [-]
slowpoke noticed something no one else did? AKA, BEFORE THEM?? :O
#161 to #150 - Rascal (08/24/2010) [-]
Also a spoon 'e'....
#165 to #150 - eccentricity (08/24/2010) [-]
I...umm... I never noticed that....before... wow....
User avatar #172 to #150 - south (08/24/2010) [-]
Can't be unseen.
#112 - shwoodle (08/24/2010) [-]
this made my day, just saying
#125 to #112 - kingbear (08/24/2010) [-]
P: Godzilla is attacki-
S: Next time dont go that way.
User avatar #36 - Eggs (08/24/2010) [-]
How cool they are:
Fed Ex-1
UPS-0
#10 - Mozzak (08/24/2010) [-]
I laughed out loud my mom was like WTF???
My mom's a chimpanzee btw.
User avatar #12 to #10 - TheColdandRain (08/24/2010) [-]
Your mom's a chimpanzee lol
User avatar #13 to #12 - Mozzak (08/24/2010) [-]
What?It's perfectly normal.
User avatar #14 to #13 - TheColdandRain (08/24/2010) [-]
Oh, suuuure.
User avatar #15 to #10 - Mav (08/24/2010) [-]
No, your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries.
#42 to #15 - Doodieboy (08/24/2010) [-]
MONTY PYTHON FTW :D
#149 - deekman (08/24/2010) [-]
P: Plane crashed in ocean, everyone died but me...
S: Private island getaway!
User avatar #98 - Kreetycal (08/24/2010) [-]
MORE!
#118 - TIERY (08/24/2010) [-]
i know some perfect lyrics for that plane:  
  
Around the world, around the world   
Around the world, around the world   
Around the world, around the world   
Around the world, around the world
i know some perfect lyrics for that plane:

Around the world, around the world
Around the world, around the world
Around the world, around the world
Around the world, around the world
#159 to #141 - shotgunrain (08/24/2010) [-]
HEY! KEEP IT DOWN UP THERE!
#123 to #118 - Zhougdog (08/24/2010) [-]
What if the plane is only going from LA to Chicago...?
#121 to #118 - Rascal (08/24/2010) [-]
c-c-c-c-c-combo breaker!!
#122 to #121 - TIERY (08/24/2010) [-]
a-a-a-a-a-ass raper!!!!
#124 to #118 - ningyoaijin ONLINE (08/24/2010) [-]
... Yukari-sensei? Where should I put these knives~?
...
Yukari-sensei?
User avatar #120 to #118 - mynamewasjpr (08/24/2010) [-]
Around the world, around the world
Around the world, around the world
Around the world, around the world
Around the world, around the world
User avatar #1 - lolcakes (08/23/2010) [-]
o those midgets and there hammers
#182 - kakemckake (08/24/2010) [-]
i miss that hammer. it was my only friend in that plane...
#205 to #182 - manbob (08/24/2010) [-]
for u sir
#190 - HugePanda (08/24/2010) [-]
im still blaming BP for this.
#63 - corburis (08/24/2010) [-]
This is the only thing i laughed at all day on funnyjunk.
This is the only thing i laughed at all day on funnyjunk.
#156 - GeneralLeeInsane (08/24/2010) [-]
I hate planes.
#162 to #156 - RikuXAuron (08/24/2010) [-]
i like trains
#163 to #162 - GeneralLeeInsane (08/24/2010) [-]
I hate trains.
User avatar #169 - WhenIdie (08/24/2010) [-]
P. Unidentifiable noise in engine
S. Make sound more identifiable
+4
#144 - UltimateThumbWhore **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#167 - PrettyPatties **User deleted account** (08/24/2010) [-]
P: There are snakes on the plane.  
S: I'M TIRED OF THESE MOTHER 			*******		 SNAKES ON THIS MOTHER 			*******		 PLANE!!!
P: There are snakes on the plane.
S: I'M TIRED OF THESE MOTHER ******* SNAKES ON THIS MOTHER ******* PLANE!!!
+4
#173 to #167 - AssBlaster **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#158 - Rascal (08/24/2010) [-]
fake.
fake.
#136 - Rascal (08/24/2010) [-]
Its not lupus.
Its not lupus.
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