A Dirty Joke. well worth the read. There was this businessman who was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, SC)
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A Dirty Joke

well worth the read

Tags: a | Dirty | joke
There was this businessman who was getting ready to go on a long business trip.
He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, SC) he thought he' d try to get her
something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn' t much like
the idea of her screwing someone else. So he went to a store that sold sex toys
and started looking around. He thought about a linearized sex doll, but that was
too close to another man for him.
He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please his
wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter. He explained his
situation. The old man said, "Well, I don' t really know of anything that will do the
trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and SC) on, but I don' t know
of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except -- " and he stopped.
Except what?" the man asked.
Nothing, nothing."
Chen, tell me! I need something!"
Well, sir, I don' t usually mention this, but there is the 'voodoo dick."'
So what' s up with this voodoo dick?" he asked.
The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box,
carved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very
dildo. The businessman laughed, and said "Big ******* deal.. looks like every
other dildo in this shoal"
The old man replied, "But you haven' t seen what it' ll do yet." He pointed to a
door and said “deeded dick, the door." The voodoo dick rase out of its box,
darted dyer to the door, and started screwing the keyhole. The whole door shook
with the vibrations, and a crack developed down the middle. Before the door
could split, the old man said “deeded dick, get back in your bdx!" The voodoo
dick stopped, floated back to the box and lay there, quiescent once more.
fll take it!" said the businessman.
The old man resisted, saying it wasn' t for sale, but he finally surrendered to STUD
in cash. The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that
to use it, all she had to do was say “deeded dick, my pussy." He left for his trip
satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone.
After he' d been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny. She thought of
several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she remembered the
voodoo dick. She got it out, and said “deeded dick, my pussy!" The voodoo dick
shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was great, like nothing she' d ever
experienced before. After three orgasms, she decided she' d had enough, and tried
to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it
out, but nothing worked. Her husband had forgot to tell her how to shut it off. So
she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help. She put her clothes on,
got in the car and started to drive to the hospital, quivering with every thrust of
the dildo. On the way, another orgasm nearly made her swerve off the road, and
she was pulled dyer by a policeman. He asked for her license, and then asked how
much she' d had to drink.
Gasping and twitching, she explained that she hadn' t been drinking, but that a
voodoo dick was stuck in her pussy, and wouldn' t stop screwing. The officer
looked at her for a second, and then said "Yea, right. Voodoo dick, my ass!"
...
+766
Views: 29841
Favorited: 168
Submitted: 08/21/2010
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Comments(130):

[ 130 comments ]

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#1 - Nickish (08/21/2010) [+] (5 replies)
We're going to need more Lemon Pledge after this...
#98 - TheShadowHog (08/22/2010) [+] (1 reply)
prepare your anus
prepare your anus
#34 - MOARkrabs (08/22/2010) [+] (1 reply)
did the seller of the voodoo dick happen to be a kindly old asian man? I need to make a return...
#119 - GenBlase (08/22/2010) [-]
I was elected to lead, not to read.
+16
#117 - CocaineIsVitaminII **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (6 replies)
+16
#104 - Cockfarts **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
+16
#69 - sevant **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (7 replies)
+16
#26 - TrancePacifica **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (1 reply)
+15
#88 - BobTheBeast **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #14 - RadAxel (08/22/2010) [+] (7 replies)
too long, didnt read.
#19 to #18 - pepernsalt (08/22/2010) [-]
SPONGEBOB!
#56 - SuperKJ (08/22/2010) [-]
Comment Picture
#53 - youtookpoop (08/22/2010) [+] (1 reply)
lol.wut?
lol.wut?
User avatar #11 - DroidToyiu (08/22/2010) [-]
Well, at least the cop isnt old fashioned and he didnt say "Voodoo dick my eye!"

He wouldnt even be able to see it coming.


^if that sounds familiar its because i posted it on the last one of these....repost on a repost ^_^
+10
#40 - team omga **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (2 replies)
#31 - Remaldafide **User deleted account** (08/22/2010) [-]
OOOH **** !
#52 - pokaymahn (08/22/2010) [+] (3 replies)
B. final answer
#51 - gurion (08/22/2010) [-]
nuuuuuuuuuuh!
User avatar #94 - Antmano (08/22/2010) [-]
my brother told me this joke like seriously 10 years ago
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