In an effort to ensure proper training and readiness among the military services. Congress has approved the following
changes to basic principles of recruit training:
4" Marines: Heads will be shaved.
Army: Stylish ; for all recruits.
Navy: No haircut standard.
Air Force: Complete makeovers as seen on the Jenny Jones show.
Marines: Reveille at 0500, train until 2000.
Army: Reveille at 0600, train until 1900.
Navy: Get out offed at 0900, train until 1100, lunch until 1300, train until 1600.
4" Air Force: Awaken at 1000, breakfast in bed, train from 1100 to 1200, lunch at 1200, train from
1300 to 1400, nap at 1400, awaken from nap at 1500, training ceases at 1500.
Marines: Meals, 3 times a day.
Army: One hot meal, 2 Mimi' s.
Navy: 3 hot meals.
Air Force: Catered meals prepared by the Galloping Gourmet, Julia Child, and Wolfgang Puck and
Emeril Lagasse. All you can eat.
4" Army: 4 hours a week.
4" Navy: 2 days a week.
Air Force: For every four hours of training, recruits will receive eight hours of leave and liberty.
Marines: Will address all officers as "Sir," and refer to the rank of all enlisted members when
speaking to them (, Sgt. Smith).
Army: Will address all officers as "Sir," unless they are friends. and will call all enlisted personnel
4" Navy: W ill address all officers as "Skipper," and all enlisted personnel as "Chief."
4" Air Force: All Air Force personnel shall be on a first name basis with each other.
Marines: Medals and badges are awarded for acts of gallantry and bravery only.
Army: Medals and badges are awarded for every bullet fired, hand grenade thrown, fitness test
passed, and bed made.
Navy: Will have ships' engineers make medals for them as desired.
4" Air Force: Will be issued all medals and badges, as they will most likely be awarded them at
some point early in their careers anyway.
Marine _ Work uniform, to be worn only during training and in field situations.
Arm Will wear it anytime, anywhere.
Navy: Will not wear camouflage uniforms. they do not camouflage you on a ship. (Ship
Captains will make every effort to attempt to explain this to sailors.)
Air Force: Will defeat the purpose of camouflage uniforms by putting blue and silver chevrons
and colorful squadron patches all over them.
4" Marines: All Marines shall be considered riflemen first and foremost.
It doesn' t matter, all career fields promote to in first enlistment anyway.
Navy Nobody knows. The Navy is still trying figure out what sailors in the ABH, SMC, BNC
and BSN rates do anyway.
Air Force: Every recruit will be trained in a manner that will allow them to leave the service
early to go on to higher paying .
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