Dirty jokes 5. Part 7: /funny_pictures/644442/Dirty+jokes+7/. I have decided to do only one dedication per 'dirty jokes' and the winner of dedication for this o
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Dirty jokes 5

I have decided to do only one dedication per 'dirty jokes' and the
winner of dedication for this one was this guy ©
Dirty jokes s
Due winter year, these two little treas headed for the warm sunny beaches
of California to escape the cold. The first tiea got there and started rubbing
suntan lotion on his little tiea arms and his little toee legs. Just then, the
second tiea arrived just it shiverin' and a shakin'. The first flea asked,
What the hell happened to you?" To which the second tiea replied "I just
rode out here on a bikers moustache and I' m so very !" The first
flea said, "Don' t you know the special trick to getting here, first you go to
the airport; go straight to the ladies commode, wait for a pretty young
stewardess to come along, and when she sits down you climb right up in
there where nice and warm". The second tiea agreed that this was a
grand idea. The next winter comes along and It was time for the treas to
head for the sunny beaches again. The first tatta arrived and began putting
suntan lotion on his little flea anns and his lime flea legs. About that time,
the second flea arrived again Just a shiverin', shakin', and mumbling about
haw cold he was. The first tiea exclaimed "Dmn' t you learn anything that I
taught you about getting here nice and warm?" To which the second fter
replied, "I did Just as you said: I went to the ladies commode and this
pretty came in and sat down, I climbed right up in there and it
was so very warm. Next thing I know we stop at a bar and I fell asleep. All
of a sudden I wake and there I was, right back on that bikers moustache!
The doc told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer
during the act. The man decided, "what the hell, I' ll try it, “He spent the
rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn' t do it in his office.
He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an
alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he realized his solution. (in
his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got
out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied
with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate.
He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to orgasm, he
felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to tom his mental
fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?" He heard,
This is the police. What' s going on down there?" The man replied, "I' m
checking out the rear axle, its busted." Came the reply, "thtats, you might as
well check your brakes too while you' re down there because your truck
rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."
A lady goes to the doctor' s office and tells the doctor that she can' t get her
husband to have sex with her anymore. So, the doctor gives her some pills
and says to give her husband one each night in his dinner whenever she
wants to have sex. That night she gave him one and they had a decent night
of sex. The next night she decided to try A pills and she had even better
sex. Well the next night she tried B pills and the sex was wonderful. so the
next night she decided to dump the whole bottle in his dinner. The next day
her son showed up at the doctor' s office and said, "Doctor, Doctor, what did
you do to my Daddy? My mom' s dead, my sister' s pregnant; my butt hurts,
and my dad' s going around saying here kitty, kitty, "
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Views: 35863
Favorited: 133
Submitted: 07/22/2010
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#79 - boatwizard (07/22/2010) [-]
i have a dirty joke.

User avatar #248 - DaGrammarNazi (07/23/2010) [-]
The "Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty." part got me.
#15 - WhiteBlankSpace **User deleted account** (07/22/2010) [-]
User avatar #50 to #15 - gatewaymoo (07/22/2010) [-]
**gatewaymoo rolls 45,550** quintuples and i get dedications for all of your pics:)
User avatar #51 to #50 - gatewaymoo (07/22/2010) [-]
sooooooooo close :/
#90 to #15 - ObscurityXX **User deleted account** (07/22/2010) [-]
lol win xD
#17 to #15 - anon (07/22/2010) [-]
tru i agree with you
User avatar #60 - lanstar (07/22/2010) [-]
i has dirty joke

Pig jumps into mud.
#80 to #60 - anon (07/22/2010) [-]
my joke is dirtier:

Your mom jumps in mud.
#88 - Carlospiceyweiner **User deleted account** (07/22/2010) [-]
A man and his wife were arguing about their sex life, the wife tears up, and says "when we make love, why don't you ever make noises?" Her husband looks up and says in a defensive tone "I don't make noise because I don't want to wake you up!"
#87 - Carlospiceyweiner **User deleted account** (07/22/2010) [-]
A man leans over on the couch and wraps his arm around his wife and says "honey, I never want to be a vegetable, if I were ever in a vegetive state, merely surviving on contents of a bottle and not moving or doing anything in life can you promise you'll just pull the plug? She smiles and says "Of course" sets his arm off her shoulder, unplugs the TV and tosses out his beer and says "I kept my promise"!
#254 - anon (07/23/2010) [-]
**anonymous rolls 7,655** dubs and I kill myself. trips and I kill my dog. quads and I kill YOU.
#256 to #254 - anon (07/23/2010) [-]
#260 to #254 - anon (07/23/2010) [-]
#201 - omgitspikachu **User deleted account** (07/23/2010) [-]
**omgitspikachu rolls 033,058,096** DUBS AND IM THE BEST
#229 to #201 - funkiimunkee **User deleted account** (07/23/2010) [-]
Trips what a pity
#247 - Swastika **User deleted account** (07/23/2010) [-]
cool story, bro.
#231 - DirtyLittleHippie **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#184 - xXJedmanXx (07/23/2010) [-]
**xXJedmanXx rolls 109,745,813** obviously this number is epic and deserves a dedication
#120 - NekoMaiden **User deleted account** (07/22/2010) [-]
*looks at last joke* OH SHI----

*runs away*
User avatar #55 - letsrobthem (07/22/2010) [-]
You are awesome. :D
#24 - Flinch **User deleted account** (07/22/2010) [-]
**Flinch rolls 844,542,111**
#25 to #24 - Flinch **User deleted account** (07/22/2010) [-]
**Flinch rolls 739,994,064** trips again and dedicate to me plz!!
#26 to #25 - Flinch **User deleted account** (07/22/2010) [-]
**Flinch rolls 930,210,267** damn two sets of trips in a row!!.... third times the charm...
User avatar #47 to #26 - TheConmyster (07/22/2010) [-]
Close enough.
User avatar #117 - Temari (07/22/2010) [-]
I has dirty(ish) joke! It may have been said before I haven't seen all of these...

Three women, a rich one, and model, and an Indian lady, who are all friends are on an airplane. The plane nose suddenly dropped and spun around, and by then, everyone knew they were gonna die. The rich women quickly went into her purse and took out her expensive jewelery. She explained that people will probably save her first because she's rich. The beautiful one took out her tits, and said that she would be saved first because she's hot. The Indian, not to be out done, took off her skirt and underwear. Her friends asked why, and she said "Well, they always look for the black box first, don't they?"

*Ba dum tiss*

Dedication now? You can have bacon! :) :)
#141 to #117 - TimTheLegendaryCat **User deleted account** (07/23/2010) [-]
The 711 kind or the kind that goes wowowowowowowowowo?
User avatar #271 to #141 - Temari (07/23/2010) [-]
Either would work lol. I was thinking like reserved indian hairy (racism...sorry) type. :)
User avatar #128 to #117 - darktoucan ONLINE (07/23/2010) [-]
if he gets a edication i want in

User avatar #272 to #128 - Temari (07/23/2010) [-]
Fine with me.

*but im a she. :)
#257 - anon (07/23/2010) [-]
**anonymous rolls 672,551,522** Doubles and it is now legal to kill Justin Bieber.
#262 to #257 - Pitlord **User deleted account** (07/23/2010) [-]
I love you so much.
#258 to #257 - anon (07/23/2010) [-]
pics or its not legal
#264 to #258 - ChildPlease **User deleted account** (07/23/2010) [-]
wait what?
#234 - BaconandPie (07/23/2010) [-]
can some1 pls explain the last one
User avatar #261 to #234 - helloppl (07/23/2010) [-]
He took so much viagra, he killed his wife ******* , ****** his daughter and got her pregnant, ****** his son in the ass and is now trying to **** the cat.
#144 - irzanarwhal **User deleted account** (07/23/2010) [-]
not now kitty this is my pot pie,dad kiddy is being a dildo
Dad: well it looks like a certain kitty kitty is sleeping with daddy tonight...lolz
#136 - PokemonResearcher **User deleted account** (07/23/2010) [-]
Something special.
User avatar #134 - CrankyKong (07/23/2010) [-]
I do not want a dedication
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