Retail. . Rana TIM" ugh. f it the mast an-: ura he picture l' etg the retail‘ !. We had to close the grocery store where I work at 2hrs earlier one night so the floor could be re-waxed. So we out a sign on the door 2 weeks in advanced statin
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Comments(188):

[ 188 comments ]
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#10 - caterpi (09/28/2013) [-]
We had to close the grocery store where I work at 2hrs earlier one night so the floor could be re-waxed. So we out a sign on the door 2 weeks in advanced stating the store would be closed on that day. So the day rolls around and its 5 minutes past the time when the store had closed and a guy comes to the door and stands there open mouthed just staring in. He starts to shake the door, I notice him and point to the sign saying the store was closed. He stares at the sign for 30 seconds and goes back to shaking the door. I open it open and tell him that we were closed and he says, "So I can't get anything?" I said, "No, we're closed." He stares at me for 10 seconds then hobbles back to his car. MFW
User avatar #147 to #10 - ogaitnas (09/29/2013) [-]
It's called mouthbreathing.
User avatar #41 to #10 - slavolf (09/28/2013) [-]
He was probably just really high.
User avatar #38 - mattdoggy (09/28/2013) [-]
>come in to store at 3 and work until 8 as i signed up for and enjoyed it
>"hey derp, can you stay an extra hour to cover the registers for us"
>"uh....sure. if ya'll need me i got your backs"
>noproblem.jpg
>work the extra 50 minutes and go to wipe my register down
>as i am cleaning a metal grate pimp slaps me across the face
>it is a dark ham planet with her mouth open and a racal full of groceries
>"yuh gun rung dus upen hur furmeh"
>"oh i'm sorry ma'am but i'm actually closing up right now sorry, they can help you at.."
>"no i ain walkun over nowhur, yougun gemme righ hur"
> **************************
>"...sure ma'am, i'll open up for you real quick"
>i set the closed sign back up behind her and go to check her out
>i will get some good karma for this probably, she maybe just needs .
>i look up and see a man removing the closed sign and setting it on the ground and 2 other customers with full buggies file in behind him
>(we really need another plague)
>i ask him to put it back up and he says after i check him out
>[rages internally]
>"sir i am suppose to be leaving i will get in trouble if i got over hours and"
>"i don't care just get me rung up here"
>(i'll rung you up from a tree no he was white, you racist )
>i decided to use my trap card
>*kicks plug*
>"oh sorry sir my register just shut off for some mysterious reason, i'm afraid i can't help you. Have a nice day!"
#118 to #38 - svenninja (09/29/2013) [-]
"and he says after i check him out"
User avatar #160 to #38 - armenhart (09/29/2013) [-]
what a bunch of cunts. i applaud you for what you have to deal with.
#114 to #38 - luckyxiii (09/29/2013) [-]
"I decide to use my trap card"
"I decide to use my trap card"
#40 to #38 - lilRican (09/28/2013) [-]
"Ill rung you up from a tree"
"Ill rung you up from a tree"
#22 - scytherkris (09/28/2013) [-]
>Serving people on till
>Get told I can go on break
>Put up closed sign and finish serving last customer
>Old woman walks up to my till, puts big ass basket on counter and stands there looking at me
>I tell her I can't serve her and that she'll have to go to another till
"Oh, I didn't realise, you should've put up a sign or something"
#1 - rikter (09/28/2013) [-]
I prefer Clerks, but whatever floats your canoe down the stream.
I prefer Clerks, but whatever floats your canoe down the stream.
#5 to #1 - chexlemeneux (09/28/2013) [-]
Hell yeah. Kevin Smith gets it. I also like Ben Affleck's line from Mallrats.   
"Haven't you heard the customer's always right?"   
"I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. The customers always an asshole!"
Hell yeah. Kevin Smith gets it. I also like Ben Affleck's line from Mallrats.
"Haven't you heard the customer's always right?"
"I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. The customers always an asshole!"
#6 to #5 - rikter (09/28/2013) [-]
The thing that I love about Clerks is that it's kinda low budget, but it has tons of soul. It's like Kevin Smith wanted to tell a story, and the purity and spirit leaves all the glitter in the dust.
The thing that I love about Clerks is that it's kinda low budget, but it has tons of soul. It's like Kevin Smith wanted to tell a story, and the purity and spirit leaves all the glitter in the dust.
#129 - fuckoatmeal (09/29/2013) [-]
** *********** rolled a random image posted in comment #3730598 at Friendly ** mfw people can't read signs
#157 to #129 - psyachu (09/29/2013) [-]
Next to the pic, this has to be the best roll I've ever seen done.
#145 to #129 - mytrakytra (09/29/2013) [-]
Oh the sweet ******* irony.
User avatar #131 to #129 - thunderxcatsxhoooo (09/29/2013) [-]
what does that sign say? I can't read it.
#48 - saltyfries ONLINE (09/28/2013) [-]
>working at department store   
>power goes out   
>no systems, lights, anything   
>can't serve people   
>people still keep coming   
>have to tell them no power   
>one lady goes in   
>tell her power is out   
>she ignores   
>comes back out and says,"you didn't tell me it was that dark!"   
>mfw
>working at department store
>power goes out
>no systems, lights, anything
>can't serve people
>people still keep coming
>have to tell them no power
>one lady goes in
>tell her power is out
>she ignores
>comes back out and says,"you didn't tell me it was that dark!"
>mfw
#71 - darcabyss (09/28/2013) [-]
> Working at Wal Mart as cashier
> Last five minutes of shift, cleaning up area
> Lady with basket walks up and asks if I'm open
> Think to myself, "Light on means I'm open" for about the fortieth time today
> Say yes and move to log in
> See her wave somebody over
> Man with cart full of groceries joins her
> Quickly put lane closed sign and shut off light
> Proceed to check out over 100 items
> Couple try to pay with debit, not enough money.
> Pick out food to leave out, mostly meat and refrigerated products
> Double guess themselves constantly, putting things back and taking them off again
> Tired and frustrated, but remaining calm
> Finally pay, with more than enough cash to pay for the original amount
> Wish them a good night as I put $50-60 worth of now worthless food
> Young man putting items on belt
> "Sir, I'm closing this register. May I ask you to go to another register?"
> "You were just standing there, so I figured I'd give you some work."
> I hated that job, but not as much as the occasional assholes who game there.
User avatar #113 to #71 - vortexrain (09/29/2013) [-]
>Working at Wal Mart as cashier
Dis gon be gud.
#72 to #71 - darcabyss (09/28/2013) [-]
* Putting $50-60 worth of worthless food aside
**assholes who came there.
#92 to #72 - KidSpenny (09/28/2013) [-]
Glad you're keeping an eye on things.
User avatar #70 - Brass ONLINE (09/28/2013) [-]
>Be sixteen working as cashier at a Food Lion (grocery store chain).
>In charge of express check out, twelve items or less.
>Usually allow up to twenty items if not busy.
>Women comes over with a full buggy, at least forty items.
>Inform her she will have to go to a regular check out line.
>Informs me that she is not moving.
>I tell her I will not check out her groceries.
>shouldnothavesaidthat.jpeg
>Woman demands to see my manager.
>Since I am in trouble anyway, might as well go big.
>Over the loudspeaker: "There is a disgruntled customer in the express lane. Need manager assistance."
>Manager comes over and women yells at me and manager.
>Boss tells me to ring up items.
>Ring up items and bag in record time.
>Women leaves and informs me that she will be contacting my superiors, whoever that might be in life.
>Manager tells me not to worry and she will cover for me if management calls.
>Feel a little less raging.
>Go back to cashier and next guy says he was sorry I had to deal with that woman.
>Tell him it is not a big deal, since the store is next to a projects, pretty common.
>Man gives me a card and says he is a juvenile defense lawyer and he will represent me for free if she becomes a problem.
>Life is good.
>Never got fired, but I still have his card despite being in college.
User avatar #43 - CampenCarl (09/28/2013) [-]
>Working at the restaurant one night
>About 5 minutes to close
>Wrapping up stock and cleaning down for the night
>Man walks in and asks the waitress
>"When do you guys close?"
>"At 10"
>Guy asks for the time
>She tells him 9:55
>Comes in and tells me there's a table
>This close to closing time I think he'll order something small like a salad or something deep fried
>NOPE
>Mother ****** wanted an extra well done tenderloin
>Half hour long to cook
>Have to take out everything again
>Leave around 11 after re-cleaning and putting stuff away again
>Smug ****** doesn't even leave a tip after his 30 something dollar meal and two bottles of wine
User avatar #49 to #43 - AnomynousUser ONLINE (09/28/2013) [-]
Then don't start putting things away before you close. That guy was a dick for doing that, but still... Do you remember back in school when the teachers would get so pissed for people packing up 5 minutes before class would end?
#102 to #49 - crazymannequin (09/29/2013) [-]
this may come as something new but **** that happened in school like the example you mentioned doesn't translate well to the real world. Bosses usually have a time they want employees out of the business when it closes so employees have to start putting **** away early to make that deadline and if they don't make the time they can get in trouble.
#73 to #43 - hidanfangirl (09/28/2013) [-]
That's some dick move, man.
That's some dick move, man.
User avatar #47 to #43 - niggastolemyname ONLINE (09/28/2013) [-]
didn't






are you saying
that ******* ********


din't ******* tip?
User avatar #27 - foelkera (09/28/2013) [-]
>Work ****** job at ***********
>Power goes out
>Close restaurant, throw away everything, can't remake anything until power comes on
>Put up signs telling people we're closed
>Mennonite family pull up into drive thru
>Waits a few minutes, drives around to parking space
>Walk up to door, read sign
>Attempt to open doors (they're locked)
>Knock on windows
>Yell at me + other workers for 20 minutes
**** mennonites
User avatar #59 to #27 - erotictentacle (09/28/2013) [-]
what are mennonites?
#81 to #59 - Saeka (09/28/2013) [-]
Tons of Mennonites around where I live. They are a lot like Amish only not entirely broken off from modern tech. They have TVs and cars but they dress similarly to Amish folk and are hardcore religious.
User avatar #64 to #59 - cancerlobster (09/28/2013) [-]
"Mennonite" is a term for members of a Protestant sect that I believe had broke off from mainstream Amish teachings.
User avatar #143 to #59 - foelkera (09/29/2013) [-]
Amish people who use cars and electronics. Basically like Christians who don't read the bible.
User avatar #61 to #59 - aerosol (09/28/2013) [-]
I think it's a religion of some kind
User avatar #62 to #27 - EasyEnzie (09/28/2013) [-]
god damn pioneers
User avatar #141 to #27 - hates (09/29/2013) [-]
Actually, I just finished working at my coffee shop. We have a small kiosk in a Hy-Vee, so there only needs to be one guy there at any time. I closed the place down, and I was wrapping up the bakery items. This guy comes up, notices that there's bakery items and cleaning crap covering every single inch of the counter, and (without asking if we're closed) said "I'd like a latte and mocha."

The only reason he got his drinks was because the person who normally closes my register was late, so I hadn't closed the espresso machine yet (if she was running on time she'd have been there before he got there.)
User avatar #31 to #27 - hates (09/28/2013) [-]
"The sign says closed but if we pound on the doors long enough they'll reopen just for us."
#85 to #31 - patagon (09/28/2013) [-]
actually we do that sometimes at the small grocery store where I work during the summers. The thing is that it is on an island with a very cosy feeling to it, everyone is friends with everyone. So if someone is fifteen minutes late it not weird to knock friendy and ask to come in. Most of the time they actually get to run in and buy their things.
User avatar #110 to #31 - kingxddd (09/29/2013) [-]
omg hey hates im on your friends list
User avatar #134 to #110 - hates (09/29/2013) [-]
Oh hi, friend
User avatar #9 - gibroner (09/28/2013) [-]
I work in a Deli and we shut down the last slicer at 9:45 one night some dude comes in at 9:40 and orders 2 pounds of pepperoni... I don't know if you have any idea how long it takes to cut 2 pounds of pepperoni but it takes a long ******* time
User avatar #23 to #9 - sanguinesolitude (09/28/2013) [-]
well in his defense, you were still open and that is your job. But yeah i hate that. I sell cellphones and people will come in with 1 minute to close and want to set up service on like 5 lines... and its like we close in one minute. "but youre still open" yes but this will take like 45 minutes. "but youre still open" goddamnit fine.
User avatar #37 - phantomprincess (09/28/2013) [-]
i work at a car wash and when something inside the tunnel breaks like a brush or something we put up a sign saying "closed for maintenance". this chick pulls up and honks. "are you open?" i say "no sorry, a hydraulic hose burst and is spraying slimey green oil all over everything and we have to fix it before anyone else can go through" she stares at me for a second and says "so... can i go through?"
#18 - include (09/28/2013) [-]
Everyone has interesting retail stories while I have none.

You guys have interesting lives.
#164 to #18 - terminalinfinity (09/29/2013) [-]
You live in Canada (By your photo) where they legally had to disqualify "sorry" as an admission of guilt because its said so much. This is why you do not have asshole stories. I looked into moving up there, because its so much nicer and people don't have a twig up their ass about marijuana
User avatar #35 to #18 - volcanicdiarrhea (09/28/2013) [-]
So you don't get included in anything interesting?

Please don't shank my bitch ass
User avatar #36 to #18 - vilememory (09/28/2013) [-]
I got shot, twice. Retail sucks.
User avatar #46 to #36 - niggastolemyname ONLINE (09/28/2013) [-]
in the same instance?
robbery?
didudie?
User avatar #98 to #46 - vilememory (09/29/2013) [-]
Two different instances. Robbery for the first time. Guy was going to rape coworker second time, she was too hot to be working in a convenience store. Died once for six minutes not related to this though.
User avatar #101 to #98 - niggastolemyname ONLINE (09/29/2013) [-]
Oh, and what does getting shot feel like?
User avatar #153 to #101 - vilememory (09/29/2013) [-]
IT ******* HURTS! A LOT!
User avatar #175 to #153 - niggastolemyname ONLINE (09/29/2013) [-]
Can you elaborate?
because there's a lot of 'it ******* hurts' as in: getting your nuts smashed in can hurt as much as breaking a limb but breaking a limb is going to hurt at the same amount for a much longer time
i always spend 8 minutes typing something long then decide that's too much and end up with one sentence, it only happens when im typing too
User avatar #99 to #98 - niggastolemyname ONLINE (09/29/2013) [-]
How u die?
User avatar #154 to #99 - vilememory (09/29/2013) [-]
That is another story.
#26 to #18 - cplkoeksuster (09/28/2013) [-]
Or you don't have to deal with ******** . You're lucky, I'd reckon.
User avatar #144 - marmanator (09/29/2013) [-]
>Be working at stop and shop
>it's late and i'm closing my register
>some drunk cunt decides that my light being shut off 5 minutes ago means i'm open
>note that i'm a minor and cannot work past certain hours or else the company gets fined
>she walks up ******* hobbling to my register
>"miss i'm closed"
>"no yur nat yur lite was juss on"
>"no miss my light was off before you came on my line"
>"NO ET WUZ AWN, WHIE DU YUO THENK I CAME OVR HEER?"
>"miss i'm sorry but i have to leave"
>"I CAME OVR HEER BEECUZ YOU WUR OPEN"
>"miss i'm closed"
>she hobbles off to another register
>i clean my belt and punch out
>leave and she's still there
> ************** .jpg
>find out next day that the bitch stayed in the store for like 20 minutes after i left and ranted about how i was a bad worker
this is why i hate people
User avatar #106 - supamonkey (09/29/2013) [-]
>On closing shift at service station one night.
>Closing at 2100.
>No-one around at 2050, decide to start closing slowly.
>Lock up cigarettes.
>Car pulls up. Driver needs new car battery.
>Kids in the car, need it to get home.
>Help the guy choose a battery.
>Goes to fit it. 2055.
>Not the right one, terminals wrong way around.
>Find another one.
>Turn off petrol pumps but otherwise stay open for this guy.
>Wild customers appear. Line of four.
>All only want drinks and chocolate from the shop so no big deal.
>Now at least 2105.
>Guy who needed new battery now gone.
>Last customer in line.
>Wants cigarettes (people who come in and only want cigs and pay with a $50 are the bane of my existence).
>"Can't do cigs mate, I've locked them up"
>"Well unlock them"
>"I should have closed ten minutes ago mate, I'm going to be late home tonight but if you want drinks that's cool."
>"I want a packet of [cancer sticks brand] gold 30's"
>"I'm not doing cigarettes"
>Proceeds to swear at me something fierce and leaves.
>Moral of the story: Karma's a bitch; try to be nice get good karma, rewarded with dickhead customer.
User avatar #107 to #106 - zlawliet ONLINE (09/29/2013) [-]
"Working at ****** service stations with ******* cunt smoker customers" bros unite, I ******* hate my gas station, and want to punch every god damn smoker in their scumy little face
User avatar #108 to #107 - supamonkey (09/29/2013) [-]
I don't mind the ones that buy fuel and smokes, but when they only want smokes and especially when they have the gall to comment on how expensive they are compared to the 2km supermarket down the road, they can really **** off.
#176 - deathbyseth (09/29/2013) [-]
> Item doesn't scan correctly the first time
> Customer looks up
>"Ma'am don't."
>Cruel smile across her face
>"Ma'am please, no. Not today! PLEASE."
>"But child!" She says
> Tears form, as you know what's coming next.
>"That must mean... ITS FREE!"

> HAHAHAH̗͎̣̘A̷̟̤͛́ͦͫ͊H̠͂͆̉̏À̉҉̹̗Hͥ ̸̥̜̯ͫ̓ͬA͆̇̂́H͎͕͔̣ͦͬ̀͛ͬ̿̅͘͞Aͦ̐̐̉͘ ͕H̘̤͕̲̏̓̅Ạ̸̮̎Ḣ̑́͐́̀Ạ̟̅́ͨ͢͝H̕ ͔̥̘̮̱̲A̲͎̜͕̤͝Ḩ̱̱̜̠͖̱͕̹͘͘A͞҉ ̗̥̪H̲̜̠͎͎̦͔̣A͞҉̮̘̗̯̗̦̟̤̮H̃ͬ ̧̪̠͈͈̤̱̟̯͎͌̽ͤ̀̕͡Ḁ̵̓̋ͦ̽͆̄͑̆̒͊̈́̊̅̍͞ ̥̤͎̦̗H̅̃̇ͮͬ͑̕҉̭͖͕̟̥̤̮̣͞͞A̎̽ͥͤ̽̀̊ ̡̹ͯ̚̕H̷̨̭͖̦ͭ̎͊̐ͤͣ̋͋ͭ͋͛̈̐ͫͥ̚͞ ̯Ą͔̯̔ͭ̉̈̄̒̈́̐͂̅̍͢͝
#179 to #176 - terminalinfinity (09/29/2013) [-]
>Or be given 50 or 100 bill/note
>Have to check if its fake/swipe with counterfeit pen
>Go to do it, customer dawns sinister smile
>Check to see if its real
>"I just printed it this morning!"
> ****************

For people who dont work retail: Every time you check a bill a person thinks they are the smartest and most clever person in the world to joke about how its fake. And every person uses the same joke.
#174 - dabadger (09/29/2013) [-]
Second day at Lens Crafters yesterday.

>Lady came in throwing a fit because we gave her polarized poly carbonate lenses.
>She says that she has an issue with polarized AND poly carbonate
>Says it gives her headaches n **** .
>Demands that manager puts back the old lenses that she requested to be thrown away
>Manager goes digging through the trash
>Finds em.
> The internal rage of my manager when the ladies original lenses were polarized poly carbonate.
#138 - batwill **User deleted account** (09/29/2013) [-]
Okay, I may as well share a piece of my foodservice experience:
>be me, working summer job as pizza delivery guy.
>about an hour till the store closes
>get order for a house in a nearby unincorporated hick town
> ******** of a couple hundred people, mostly white trash, meth heads, drunks, and generally unsavory types
>wait till food gets ready, load it in my car, drive out
>a storm just passed by, air is nice and cool out now, sweet-ass cloud lightning still going on above me
>arrive at New **************
>I've always hated delivering there because it's not a part of any actual town, so none of the addresses or streets make coherent sense.
>spend way too long trying to find this bitch to give her the food
>maybe have found the address I'm looking for?
>house is dilapidated, tall grass, no access to front door, lightning in the background, 2/10
>terrified, I get out, and try to find a way to a door
>calling for someone to come get their food
>dogs barking and rattling chains out back
>something falls off the house
>nope.avi
>get back in car
#140 to #138 - batwill **User deleted account** (09/29/2013) [-]
>call phone number on the order
>"this number is not in service"
>jesuschristhowhorrifying.jpg
>call my store to ask the manager what to do
>gives me new number, which I call afterwards
>pissed off bitch gives me directions to her house
>she says she saw me doing burnouts in her neighbors yard while looking for her house
>["lolwut? in my Buick"s internally]
>give her food and her total
>she flips **** because she claims I'm overcharging her
>wait for her to get more money from inside
>doesn't get tipped
>drive back to store in time to close
>manager says she called every five minutes after she ordered to ask what's taking so long
>says that she said she saw me doing burnouts/donuts in her neighbor's yard
>says she asked if I was mentally retarded and that they shouldn't hire people who probably can't finish high school
>says that the bitch orders all the time and pulls **** like this and that I can go ahead and clock off
>MFW her
#165 - Weirdozzy (09/29/2013) [-]
Girl came in and ordered a drink with decaf espresso...our decaf side has been broken for over 9 months
"I'm sorry ma'am I can't make that, our decaf side doesn't work"
"BUT I GET IT EVERY DAY!" she snaps, her jimmy johns clearly rustling up
"Ma'am...our decaf side has been broken since last year, I honestly can't make it"
"I GET IT EVERY DAY!" she's starting to get super pissed
I stare at her in confusion and tell her one more time "I can't make a drink with decaf espresso"
mfw my hours are now cut to 15 a week, [spoiler] because I was honest with a costumer
>YOUCANTHANDLETHETRUTH.wav
User avatar #167 to #165 - huemynue (09/29/2013) [-]
I would call corporate if you have already talked to your boss
#171 to #167 - Weirdozzy (09/29/2013) [-]
I have gone to all 3 managers about every single issue with my cafe..The flies  THE 			*******		 FLIES ARE 			*******		 ALL OVER EVERYTHING, and I mean procreating on every possible surface  I have asked to have traps put up at closing time, in order for them to be killed, I was told this was a health code violation, to which I replied "So is having flies all over every surface in the cafe..would you rather then be away from the food and dead, or alive and all over the 			*******		 food" I was gifted with a response like "Just don't worry about it"   
We now have a wasps nest in our air conditioning  vents, a boy was actually stung today by one of the 			*******		. I had made so many requests to get someone in to get rid of the nest in the first place about 3 weeks ago, to which I was told "Just mind your own business Maverick..you don't need to concern yourself with that"  And Corporate are even worse, we have put in so many orders to fix our constantly leaking sinks, and broken automatic doors  we just 			*******		 leave them open 24/7 now   but they felt we needed a T-shirt display instead of functioning doors, and sinks...The only reason I don't quit is because I need a job when I get back from China
I have gone to all 3 managers about every single issue with my cafe..The flies THE ******* FLIES ARE ******* ALL OVER EVERYTHING, and I mean procreating on every possible surface I have asked to have traps put up at closing time, in order for them to be killed, I was told this was a health code violation, to which I replied "So is having flies all over every surface in the cafe..would you rather then be away from the food and dead, or alive and all over the ******* food" I was gifted with a response like "Just don't worry about it"
We now have a wasps nest in our air conditioning vents, a boy was actually stung today by one of the ******* . I had made so many requests to get someone in to get rid of the nest in the first place about 3 weeks ago, to which I was told "Just mind your own business Maverick..you don't need to concern yourself with that" And Corporate are even worse, we have put in so many orders to fix our constantly leaking sinks, and broken automatic doors we just ******* leave them open 24/7 now but they felt we needed a T-shirt display instead of functioning doors, and sinks...The only reason I don't quit is because I need a job when I get back from China
User avatar #173 to #171 - aerius (09/29/2013) [-]
wait until it gets reeeeal bad, in a life-threatening way... Then sue with the force of ten-thousand angry killer bees.
#132 - mitdwit ONLINE (09/29/2013) [-]
Isn't that the guy that flipped his **** over chocolate??
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