(untitled). . File: -( 20 KB, 310x386, HOP story, ipg) e Be 19 Living in my collegedood Doing school things Works at HOP Because college town, be swinging A gro (untitled) File: -( 20 KB 310x386 HOP story ipg) e Be 19 Living in my collegedood Doing school things Works at Because college town be swinging A gro
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(untitled)

File: -( 20 KB, 310x386, HOP story, ipg)
e Be 19
Living in my collegedood
Doing school things
Works at HOP
Because college town, be swinging
A group of at guys comes in every night
Three are nice and tip well
Cine asshole
Asshole always gets 6 pancakes.
After 2 months of dealing with them . jpg
Asshole' s outweighs his friends' Likeability
Slowly developing cancer from asshole radiation
e seems like he hasn' t mentally evolved yet
probs bordering tard status
uge muskie's though
instead of going for direct confronts: ion i make a decision
going to slowly and methodically **** his mind
Every night, one pancake gets more in nature
Maybe degrees on a day
Because i introduce the nickcage slowly he doesn' t notice for awhile
I watch happily and giddily as he chokes a cockface down
It begins to be the centerpiece of my day
Definably notices after it is straight up a big honkin' dick
Added whipped cream at the end of the urethra (blueberry)
Feel a storm brewin
I deliver his penor cake one fateful evening
He looks me dead in the face and asks me
Heyy -(deciphers nametag [letters hurt him]) a__ no___ n what is this ****?"
I don' t know
You better start talking or I' ll talk to your manager"
Manager... Iet us refer to him as C.
C is my best friend.
jpg
I' II go get him for you, faggot, sir."
Sneak in faggot cause feeling extra alpha
e notices, not happy.
Approach C and explain everything. He all of it, every detail
e is in on the conspiracy now
Props to C for his improv work.
e sneaks in about El penis related puns into his talk with asshole.
Paraphrasing , Sir, we don' around back here
My employees aren' t messing with souljunk
That mightiest be a coincidence
You need more evidence than one penis shaped pancake
Other tables overhear and enjoy giggles
DYING in the kitchen
Asshole scowls, pays walks out.
jpg
no way this ************ will come
Justin case, C gets every employee on our shift in on it
Dumb ****** comes back
sitting in different zone to not deal with me
doesnt matter
This was our night to bring so many Gallic references in
An army of workers ready to bring penis into every open conversation
we were armed and ready
Gentlemen, this was no ordinary penis assault
This was the All Harlow' s Eve of cock
All men replaced their nametags with an alias for a peen
Chuck, Dick, Peter, Johnson, and the Asian bashboy? Dong
All men stuffed their frontal pantaloons with things to give noticeable bulge
We plan the assault in waves
Phase I begins
First waiter comes, nametag Johnson
Takes orders, waves bulge in Assholes face
mother. *******. pancakes.
fooi. jpg
Cue Dick
brings drinks, spills Assholes on himself in the cock region
Furiously cleans it 2 feet from Assholes face
Uproar in the kitchen
Total improv
All of our sides
other tables get ****** service and tips will be slim tonight
worth it
e mo more waves pass
e stands
Silence in the kitchen
e comes into the kitchen
we skitter
C takes over and calms him down
should have been a counselor
Final wave commence
he had seen Dong clean the previous spill and caught wind of the nametags after that
I stroll out
He looks pissed as ****
I hand him not one, but six straight up cocks. No disputing
Bacon pubes, cherry herpes, whipped creampies
My nametag for this evening?
Penis
He rages and punches me cold
Wake up in the hospital
all employees are around my bed
Wake up to applause
Broken nose but oh so worth it
Never see him again
we are known henceforth as IEDC
International House of Cock
...
+1749
Views: 85701 Submitted: 09/23/2013
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38 comments displayed.
#21 - pappathethird
Reply +293
(09/23/2013) [-]
"Gentlemen, this was no ordinary penis assault"
"Gentlemen, this was no ordinary penis assault"
#33 to #21 - chuckbillrow
Reply +37
(09/23/2013) [-]
make no mistake OP knows exactly what an ordinary penis assault is like
#85 to #33 - renegadesparks **User deleted account**
Reply +10
(09/23/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#5 - usernamecannotload
Reply +125
(09/23/2013) [-]
One of my favorite greentexts of all time
#116 to #5 - newforomador
Reply 0
(09/23/2013) [-]
I'm sorry, but nothing can top Neal the Raptard, although Fats McGee and his retard three is a close second.
#137 to #116 - ugottanked
Reply +1
(09/23/2013) [-]
haypil
#190 to #116 - anon
Reply 0
(09/26/2013) [-]
Why. Why have I never seen this before. Holy ****.
#178 to #5 - yaybacon
Reply +1
(09/24/2013) [-]
Here's my favorite
#174 to #102 - yaybacon
Reply +1
(09/24/2013) [-]
That was amazing.
#175 to #174 - yomommabinshoppin
Reply +1
(09/24/2013) [-]
so much reading, but definitely worth it.
#176 to #175 - yaybacon
Reply +1
(09/24/2013) [-]
yeah its basically a book I want you to have this for showing me the best thing ever
#177 to #176 - yomommabinshoppin
Reply +1
(09/24/2013) [-]
That is glorious
That is glorious
#179 to #177 - yaybacon
Reply +1
(09/24/2013) [-]
www.thisiswhyimbroke.com/epic-shark-vs-narwhal-painting You can have it in real life if you want to
#180 to #179 - yomommabinshoppin
Reply +1
(09/24/2013) [-]
Holy ****
#181 to #180 - yaybacon
Reply +1
(09/24/2013) [-]
You are welcome.... I assume that's a positive response
#182 to #181 - yomommabinshoppin
Reply +1
(09/24/2013) [-]
Yes, may you be bless with many thumbs
#183 to #182 - yaybacon
Reply +1
(09/24/2013) [-]
You are welcome.
#57 to #5 - xXxEttlyxXx
Reply +9
(09/23/2013) [-]
My favourite
#155 to #57 - captainrattrap
Reply 0
(09/24/2013) [-]
Strangely enough, I thought of this greentext too.
#59 to #57 - usernamecannotload
Reply 0
(09/23/2013) [-]
That is also one of my favorites
#9 - snakefire
Reply +121
(09/23/2013) [-]
C's face when he shows up again.
C's face when he shows up again.
#35 to #9 - deadrifler
Reply +8
(09/23/2013) [-]
**** YEAH TREVOR
#29 - felixjarl ONLINE
Reply +89
(09/23/2013) [-]
#54 to #29 - higitusfigitus
Reply -7
(09/23/2013) [-]
More like Charles Dickens...
#63 to #54 - felixjarl ONLINE
Reply +6
(09/23/2013) [-]
#20 - mrawesomepotato
Reply +77
(09/23/2013) [-]
11.5/10 would teach to orphans.
11.5/10 would teach to orphans.
#12 - therichie
Reply +60
(09/23/2013) [-]
OP's FW
OP's FW
#28 - Carthusia
Reply +38
(09/23/2013) [-]
lost my **** at TROLLINTHEDUNGEON.gif
#171 to #28 - TheFunnyJunkie
Reply 0
(09/24/2013) [-]
Did you find it?
#23 - pappathethird
Reply +32
(09/23/2013) [-]
OP's fw
OP's fw
#31 - ticklebeast
Reply +31
(09/23/2013) [-]
Frigging lost it at "TROLLINTHEDUNGEON.jpg"
Frigging lost it at "TROLLINTHEDUNGEON.jpg"
#34 to #31 - finnaz
Reply +2
(09/23/2013) [-]
Since when was this a GIF?
#37 to #34 - ticklebeast
Reply +7
(09/23/2013) [-]
i've got another one if you're interested
i've got another one if you're interested
#38 to #37 - finnaz
Reply +1
(09/23/2013) [-]
I will find a use for that GIF
I will find a use for that GIF
#36 to #34 - nidhugg
Reply +4
(09/23/2013) [-]
Since 2 hours ago
#6 - I Am Monkey
Reply +30
(09/23/2013) [-]
Should have told him it's a rocket ship.
#173 to #6 - swiggityswoner
Reply 0
(09/24/2013) [-]
More like a cocketship, am I right?

I have no regrets.