(untitled). . File: -( 20 KB, 310x386, HOP story, ipg) e Be 19 Living in my collegedood Doing school things Works at HOP Because college town, be swinging A gro
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(untitled)

File: -( 20 KB, 310x386, HOP story, ipg)
e Be 19
Living in my collegedood
Doing school things
Works at HOP
Because college town, be swinging
A group of at guys comes in every night
Three are nice and tip well
Cine asshole
Asshole always gets 6 pancakes.
After 2 months of dealing with them . jpg
Asshole' s outweighs his friends' Likeability
Slowly developing cancer from asshole radiation
e seems like he hasn' t mentally evolved yet
probs bordering tard status
uge muskie's though
instead of going for direct confronts: ion i make a decision
going to slowly and methodically **** his mind
Every night, one pancake gets more in nature
Maybe degrees on a day
Because i introduce the nickcage slowly he doesn' t notice for awhile
I watch happily and giddily as he chokes a cockface down
It begins to be the centerpiece of my day
Definably notices after it is straight up a big honkin' dick
Added whipped cream at the end of the urethra (blueberry)
Feel a storm brewin
I deliver his penor cake one fateful evening
He looks me dead in the face and asks me
Heyy -(deciphers nametag [letters hurt him]) a__ no___ n what is this **** ?"
I don' t know
You better start talking or I' ll talk to your manager"
Manager... Iet us refer to him as C.
C is my best friend.
jpg
I' II go get him for you, faggot, sir."
Sneak in faggot cause feeling extra alpha
e notices, not happy.
Approach C and explain everything. He all of it, every detail
e is in on the conspiracy now
Props to C for his improv work.
e sneaks in about El penis related puns into his talk with asshole.
Paraphrasing , Sir, we don' around back here
My employees aren' t messing with souljunk
That mightiest be a coincidence
You need more evidence than one penis shaped pancake
Other tables overhear and enjoy giggles
DYING in the kitchen
Asshole scowls, pays walks out.
jpg
no way this ************ will come
Justin case, C gets every employee on our shift in on it
Dumb ****** comes back
sitting in different zone to not deal with me
doesnt matter
This was our night to bring so many Gallic references in
An army of workers ready to bring penis into every open conversation
we were armed and ready
Gentlemen, this was no ordinary penis assault
This was the All Harlow' s Eve of cock
All men replaced their nametags with an alias for a peen
Chuck, Dick, Peter, Johnson, and the Asian bashboy? Dong
All men stuffed their frontal pantaloons with things to give noticeable bulge
We plan the assault in waves
Phase I begins
First waiter comes, nametag Johnson
Takes orders, waves bulge in Assholes face
mother. ******* . pancakes.
fooi. jpg
Cue Dick
brings drinks, spills Assholes on himself in the cock region
Furiously cleans it 2 feet from Assholes face
Uproar in the kitchen
Total improv
All of our sides
other tables get ****** service and tips will be slim tonight
worth it
e mo more waves pass
e stands
Silence in the kitchen
e comes into the kitchen
we skitter
C takes over and calms him down
should have been a counselor
Final wave commence
he had seen Dong clean the previous spill and caught wind of the nametags after that
I stroll out
He looks pissed as ****
I hand him not one, but six straight up cocks. No disputing
Bacon pubes, cherry herpes, whipped creampies
My nametag for this evening?
Penis
He rages and punches me cold
Wake up in the hospital
all employees are around my bed
Wake up to applause
Broken nose but oh so worth it
Never see him again
we are known henceforth as IEDC
International House of Cock
...
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Views: 85496
Favorited: 702
Submitted: 09/23/2013
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Comments(186):

[ 186 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#9 - snakefire (09/23/2013) [-]
C's face when he shows up again.
C's face when he shows up again.
#35 to #9 - deadrifler (09/23/2013) [-]
**** YEAH TREVOR
#21 - pappathethird (09/23/2013) [-]
"Gentlemen, this was no ordinary penis assault"
"Gentlemen, this was no ordinary penis assault"
User avatar #33 to #21 - chuckbillrow (09/23/2013) [-]
make no mistake OP knows exactly what an ordinary penis assault is like
#85 to #33 - renegadesparks **User deleted account** (09/23/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#12 - therichie (09/23/2013) [-]
OP's FW
OP's FW
#5 - usernamecannotload (09/23/2013) [-]
One of my favorite greentexts of all time
#116 to #5 - newforomador (09/23/2013) [-]
I'm sorry, but nothing can top Neal the Raptard, although Fats McGee and his retard three is a close second.
User avatar #137 to #116 - ugottanked (09/23/2013) [-]
haypil
#190 to #116 - anon (09/26/2013) [-]
Why. Why have I never seen this before. Holy **** .
#178 to #5 - yaybacon (09/24/2013) [-]
Here's my favorite
#174 to #102 - yaybacon (09/24/2013) [-]
That was amazing.
#175 to #174 - yomommabinshoppin (09/24/2013) [-]
so much reading, but definitely worth it.
#176 to #175 - yaybacon (09/24/2013) [-]
yeah its basically a book I want you to have this for showing me the best thing ever
#177 to #176 - yomommabinshoppin (09/24/2013) [-]
That is glorious
That is glorious
User avatar #179 to #177 - yaybacon (09/24/2013) [-]
www.thisiswhyimbroke.com/epic-shark-vs-narwhal-painting You can have it in real life if you want to
#181 to #180 - yaybacon (09/24/2013) [-]
You are welcome.... I assume that's a positive response
#182 to #181 - yomommabinshoppin (09/24/2013) [-]
Yes, may you be bless with many thumbs
#183 to #182 - yaybacon (09/24/2013) [-]
You are welcome.
#57 to #5 - xXxEttlyxXx (09/23/2013) [-]
My favourite
User avatar #155 to #57 - captainrattrap (09/24/2013) [-]
Strangely enough, I thought of this greentext too.
User avatar #59 to #57 - usernamecannotload (09/23/2013) [-]
That is also one of my favorites
#29 - felixjarl ONLINE (09/23/2013) [-]
#54 to #29 - higitusfigitus (09/23/2013) [-]
More like Charles Dickens...
#20 - mrawesomepotato (09/23/2013) [-]
11.5/10 would teach to orphans.
11.5/10 would teach to orphans.
#6 - I Am Monkey (09/23/2013) [-]
Should have told him it's a rocket ship.
#173 to #6 - swiggityswoner (09/24/2013) [-]
More like a cocketship, am I right?

I have no regrets.
#58 - Sdgnuipaegr (09/23/2013) [-]
Why IHOC when it could just be International House Of Penis?
Why IHOC when it could just be International House Of Penis?
User avatar #78 to #58 - syrenthra ONLINE (09/23/2013) [-]
that ******* game...
User avatar #188 to #58 - zight ONLINE (09/24/2013) [-]
what is this from?
#189 to #188 - infamousone (09/24/2013) [-]
Japan World Cup 3.   
   
Yes, that really is what it's called. No, I don't know where to get it.
Japan World Cup 3.

Yes, that really is what it's called. No, I don't know where to get it.
#11 - hallis (09/23/2013) [-]
related
#28 - Carthusia (09/23/2013) [-]
lost my **** at TROLLINTHEDUNGEON.gif
User avatar #171 to #28 - TheFunnyJunkie (09/24/2013) [-]
Did you find it?
#90 - johrny (09/23/2013) [-]
Ironic.
The OP of this green text is working at the "International house of cocks"
#40 - anon (09/23/2013) [-]
10/10 Even the URL says gay.
#23 - pappathethird (09/23/2013) [-]
OP's fw
OP's fw
User avatar #3 - mintyfreshmenthol (09/23/2013) [-]
that was a good read
#22 - pappathethird (09/23/2013) [-]
asshole's face when he gets the pancakes
asshole's face when he gets the pancakes
#31 - ticklebeast (09/23/2013) [-]
Frigging lost it at "TROLLINTHEDUNGEON.jpg"
Frigging lost it at "TROLLINTHEDUNGEON.jpg"
#34 to #31 - finnaz (09/23/2013) [-]
Since when was this a GIF?
#37 to #34 - ticklebeast (09/23/2013) [-]
i've got another one if you're interested
i've got another one if you're interested
#38 to #37 - finnaz (09/23/2013) [-]
I will find a use for that GIF
I will find a use for that GIF
User avatar #36 to #34 - nidhugg (09/23/2013) [-]
Since 2 hours ago
User avatar #186 to #165 - rosietheamazon (09/24/2013) [-]
i hopefully cross my fingers for the most joyous day that this is image is rolled
#73 - skeptical ONLINE (09/23/2013) [-]
#16 - hopskotch (09/23/2013) [-]
"Straight up a big honkin' dick"
#115 - supersaiyajin (09/23/2013) [-]
11/10 would read again
11/10 would read again
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