(untitled). . File: -( 20 KB, 310x386, HOP story, ipg) e Be 19 Living in my collegedood Doing school things Works at HOP Because college town, be swinging A gro
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File: -( 20 KB, 310x386, HOP story, ipg)
e Be 19
Living in my collegedood
Doing school things
Works at HOP
Because college town, be swinging
A group of at guys comes in every night
Three are nice and tip well
Cine asshole
Asshole always gets 6 pancakes.
After 2 months of dealing with them . jpg
Asshole' s outweighs his friends' Likeability
Slowly developing cancer from asshole radiation
e seems like he hasn' t mentally evolved yet
probs bordering tard status
uge muskie's though
instead of going for direct confronts: ion i make a decision
going to slowly and methodically **** his mind
Every night, one pancake gets more in nature
Maybe degrees on a day
Because i introduce the nickcage slowly he doesn' t notice for awhile
I watch happily and giddily as he chokes a cockface down
It begins to be the centerpiece of my day
Definably notices after it is straight up a big honkin' dick
Added whipped cream at the end of the urethra (blueberry)
Feel a storm brewin
I deliver his penor cake one fateful evening
He looks me dead in the face and asks me
Heyy -(deciphers nametag [letters hurt him]) a__ no___ n what is this **** ?"
I don' t know
You better start talking or I' ll talk to your manager"
Manager... Iet us refer to him as C.
C is my best friend.
jpg
I' II go get him for you, faggot, sir."
Sneak in faggot cause feeling extra alpha
e notices, not happy.
Approach C and explain everything. He all of it, every detail
e is in on the conspiracy now
Props to C for his improv work.
e sneaks in about El penis related puns into his talk with asshole.
Paraphrasing , Sir, we don' around back here
My employees aren' t messing with souljunk
That mightiest be a coincidence
You need more evidence than one penis shaped pancake
Other tables overhear and enjoy giggles
DYING in the kitchen
Asshole scowls, pays walks out.
jpg
no way this ************ will come
Justin case, C gets every employee on our shift in on it
Dumb ****** comes back
sitting in different zone to not deal with me
doesnt matter
This was our night to bring so many Gallic references in
An army of workers ready to bring penis into every open conversation
we were armed and ready
Gentlemen, this was no ordinary penis assault
This was the All Harlow' s Eve of cock
All men replaced their nametags with an alias for a peen
Chuck, Dick, Peter, Johnson, and the Asian bashboy? Dong
All men stuffed their frontal pantaloons with things to give noticeable bulge
We plan the assault in waves
Phase I begins
First waiter comes, nametag Johnson
Takes orders, waves bulge in Assholes face
mother. ******* . pancakes.
fooi. jpg
Cue Dick
brings drinks, spills Assholes on himself in the cock region
Furiously cleans it 2 feet from Assholes face
Uproar in the kitchen
Total improv
All of our sides
other tables get ****** service and tips will be slim tonight
worth it
e mo more waves pass
e stands
Silence in the kitchen
e comes into the kitchen
we skitter
C takes over and calms him down
should have been a counselor
Final wave commence
he had seen Dong clean the previous spill and caught wind of the nametags after that
I stroll out
He looks pissed as ****
I hand him not one, but six straight up cocks. No disputing
Bacon pubes, cherry herpes, whipped creampies
My nametag for this evening?
Penis
He rages and punches me cold
Wake up in the hospital
all employees are around my bed
Wake up to applause
Broken nose but oh so worth it
Never see him again
we are known henceforth as IEDC
International House of Cock
...
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Views: 85145
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Submitted: 09/23/2013
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Comments(186):

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#21 - pappathethird (09/23/2013) [+] (2 replies)
"Gentlemen, this was no ordinary penis assault"
"Gentlemen, this was no ordinary penis assault"
#5 - usernamecannotload (09/23/2013) [+] (17 replies)
One of my favorite greentexts of all time
#9 - snakefire (09/23/2013) [+] (1 reply)
C's face when he shows up again.
C's face when he shows up again.
#29 - felixjarl ONLINE (09/23/2013) [+] (2 replies)
#20 - mrawesomepotato (09/23/2013) [-]
11.5/10 would teach to orphans.
11.5/10 would teach to orphans.
#12 - therichie (09/23/2013) [-]
OP's FW
OP's FW
#28 - Carthusia (09/23/2013) [+] (1 reply)
lost my **** at TROLLINTHEDUNGEON.gif
#23 - pappathethird (09/23/2013) [-]
OP's fw
OP's fw
#31 - ticklebeast (09/23/2013) [+] (4 replies)
Frigging lost it at "TROLLINTHEDUNGEON.jpg"
Frigging lost it at "TROLLINTHEDUNGEON.jpg"
#6 - I Am Monkey (09/23/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Should have told him it's a rocket ship.
#58 - Sdgnuipaegr (09/23/2013) [+] (3 replies)
Why IHOC when it could just be International House Of Penis?
Why IHOC when it could just be International House Of Penis?
#22 - pappathethird (09/23/2013) [-]
asshole's face when he gets the pancakes
asshole's face when he gets the pancakes
#11 - hallis (09/23/2013) [-]
related
#40 - anon (09/23/2013) [-]
10/10 Even the URL says gay.
#90 - johrny (09/23/2013) [-]
Ironic.
The OP of this green text is working at the "International house of cocks"
User avatar #3 - mintyfreshmenthol (09/23/2013) [-]
that was a good read
#71 - HarvietheDinkle (09/23/2013) [+] (7 replies)
Wow these guys are dicks.

"This guy's an asshole" (no explanation)

They all (incl. people who didn't have to deal with the guy) proceed to be a bigger asshole

It was funny, though; i'll give you that.
#127 - whenindoubtsplooge (09/23/2013) [+] (3 replies)
User avatar #130 to #127 - maskedhippo (09/23/2013) [-]
Dick-ens
#165 - creepingorion (09/24/2013) [+] (1 reply)
#16 - hopskotch (09/23/2013) [-]
"Straight up a big honkin' dick"
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