Operator Pls. .. My parents' logic went something like this: I heard that it traumatizes the baby if you circumcise them at birth. So let's get it done when he's in senior year  Operator Pls My parents' logic went something like this: I heard that it traumatizes the baby if you circumcise them at birth So let's get done when he's in senior year
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#13 - theaphasic
Reply +138
(09/20/2013) [-]
My parents' logic went something like this:

I heard that it traumatizes the baby if you circumcise them at birth.
So let's get it done when he's in senior year of high school.

I've literally seen my bloody dick getting mangled with a scalpel, because they did local anesthesia, not full body. Heard the scissors snipping. I ************* felt the needles they shoved into my dick to administer the anesthesia.
Oh, also, my stitches burst one morning when i tried to take a piss.

it's been 4 years ago and I still cringe.
#77 to #13 - tragicrhapsody
Reply +1
(09/21/2013) [-]
I had it done 8th grade year, I remember my post-op bloody scabby dick in the shower, making a horrible horrible mess of itself, all the while making the most sensetive part of my body even more than it already was.
#82 to #13 - LegititmateKyle
Reply +1
(09/21/2013) [-]
This hurts my soul to read, I cringe.
#84 to #13 - deadmaniii
Reply +1
(09/21/2013) [-]
Sorry but liking this isn't supposed to come off as me liking what happened to you. Think of my thumb as a feel thumb.


Can't say the same for ALL the other thumbs.....
#85 to #13 - laitheless
Reply +1
(09/21/2013) [-]
I was born with like... a hole in the side of my dick, so they did circumcision and correcting the whole in one go. 20 years later and all of a sudden I notice piss dripping out the side of my dick. Why is penis surgery so difficult.
#23 to #13 - magicalsteve
Reply +2
(09/20/2013) [-]
I'm incredibly ignorant on this subject, especially for being a guy. I don't understand exactly what it is or why it is being done. Anybody care to help?
#24 to #23 - victreebro
Reply +1
(09/20/2013) [-]
he got circumcised when he was at high school
#26 to #24 - magicalsteve
Reply 0
(09/20/2013) [-]
I understand that but what is it?
#27 to #26 - victreebro
Reply +3
(09/20/2013) [-]
Cutting off the tip of foreskin, either for religious reasons (Judaism) or for medical reasons (having phimosis or just wanting it off)
#29 to #27 - magicalsteve
Reply +1
(09/20/2013) [-]
thanks
#66 to #29 - ohayougozaimasu
Reply +1
(09/20/2013) [-]
What he just explained to you is probably the most tame way to put it.
"Cutting off the tip of the foreskin" is much, much more painful and sickening than it sounds; go watch a video on it if you can stomach it to figure it out.

Also, circumcision is not just for religious or medical reasons; it is also for aesthetic reasons. Apparently a bunch of twisted men and women out there thought it was much more "fashionable" and "prettier" to have a sliced dick. Society (at least in America and a few other nations) ever since have made it a standard that circumcised is prettier and much more sexually favorable.

#89 to #66 - Seventeen
Reply +1
(09/21/2013) [-]
that's really weird. in england we just don't get it done. generally we just associate it with jews. why the **** would anybody want the end of their dick cut off? why in the **** would you cut your own baby's foreskin off? what!!?
#91 to #89 - ohayougozaimasu
Reply +1
(09/21/2013) [-]
You know, whenever the topic of circumcision comes up, I think this as well.
Sadly, it's just the world we live in. We have otherwise perfectly rational people allowing doctors to perform such heinous procedures without much thought or reason behind it.

It would be much more comforting to know that this kind of sadistic ritual was only contained to the Jewish religion, but unfortunately all sorts of people for various asinine reasons do it in the U.S. (and other countries), making it one of the most popular procedures on children (I heard somewhere that nearly 50-60 percent of male infants in U.S. are circumcised.)
#72 to #13 - kernelstack
Reply +19
(09/20/2013) [-]
YFW
YFW
#20 to #13 - irokk ONLINE
Reply +1
(09/20/2013) [-]
That blows
#47 to #20 - covered ONLINE
Reply +1
(09/20/2013) [-]
it sucks.
#46 to #13 - covered ONLINE
Reply +3
(09/20/2013) [-]
"Oh, also, my stitches burst one morning when i tried to take a piss."
What? How powerful is your urethra and piss stream? Also, I have a question..
How long before you could masturbate without risk of injury, death, or tugging the skin completely off of your dick like a leather jacket?
#48 to #46 - theaphasic
Reply +3
(09/20/2013) [-]
it's not my dick. I'm Asian, so there'll be no great feats performed by my dick anytime soon- no, they just cocked up my stitches.

The incident was henceforth referred to as: "Pop went the weasel."

And it was about a month. When I asked my doctor when i could fap again, he said either wait out two months or try prostate massages. A month was all i was willing to negotiate for.
#51 to #48 - covered ONLINE
Reply +3
(09/20/2013) [-]
Oh, ok, I see. So do you sometimes eat foods that you put ketchup on, naked, and then the ketchup spills on your exposed penis and you relive the experience?
#52 to #51 - theaphasic
Reply +7
(09/20/2013) [-]
Actually, it's sometimes handy. I exert complete mastery over my penis now.
Boner in public? Think about the incident and my dick inverts itself into a vagina.
#53 to #52 - covered ONLINE
Reply +4
(09/20/2013) [-]
Hrm.. Who doesn't like boners in public? I know I sure do. I tighten my pants so I can show off my side pipe.
#76 to #13 - infested
Reply +3
(09/21/2013) [-]
Same sort of situation here man, the doctor ****** up the job when I was first born, but my parents let it be for whatever reason. Eventually, I started asking questions about how it looked funny and ****, so they decided to have it corrected in the fourth grade.

I had a little more luck than you on the anesthesia, but when you wake up with two blood soaked rags down your pants, you know it's going to be a bad day.

And the ******* stitches man... the ******* stitches...
#55 to #13 - erpee
Reply +7
(09/20/2013) [-]
**** pisses me off, couldn't you just say no to it...
#56 to #55 - theaphasic
Reply +6
(09/20/2013) [-]
I wasn't exactly the most outspoken child in high school.
Much better now, but yeah. I concur. I should've.
#57 to #56 - erpee
Reply +7
(09/20/2013) [-]
See, I had mine done when I was born, now I'm kinda pissed I didn't have a say in the matter. Another thing is that my parents never mentioned it to me before, imagine mfw I found out what the **** circumcision was.
#58 to #57 - theaphasic
Reply +1
(09/20/2013) [-]
gotcha. Yeah, i sort of gave up. **** it, it's not like the ladies were rocking out on my dick before this or after. Just means that I now have to invest in lube to fap.
#62 to #58 - erpee
Reply +3
(09/20/2013) [-]
True, though I still just feel ******* violated by it.
#43 to #13 - zyferunreal
Reply +8
(09/20/2013) [-]
MFW I went trough the same ****, and see this.
MFW I went trough the same ****, and see this.
#61 to #13 - Grom
Reply +8
(09/20/2013) [-]
my literal reaction
my literal reaction
#14 to #13 - Ehwhat ONLINE
Reply +10
(09/20/2013) [-]
Jesus ******* christ, you are kidding right? Please don't tell me people not only do that in the first place, but do it when you KNOW they are doing it
#50 to #14 - theaphasic
Reply +3
(09/20/2013) [-]
Snippety snap. That's what I could hear.
I **** you not.
#36 to #13 - schmuxy
Reply +10
(09/20/2013) [-]
I had it done to me before I could remember.

And - get this - not one family member ever mentioned it to me. Not a single ******* word. Imagine my horror when I discovered the fleshy monstrosities other boys had...

Furthermore, they still haven't ******* said anything. I've just had to work it out.
#67 to #13 - chaosnazo
Reply +1
(09/20/2013) [-]
Me too
Except it was 8 years ago
#21 to #13 - GoReMoTe
Reply +1
(09/20/2013) [-]
dude

that ******* sucks
#35 to #13 - alanflindt ONLINE
Reply +2
(09/20/2013) [-]
Well why didn't you refuse?
#15 to #13 - qdmin
Reply +1
(09/20/2013) [-]
Im so terribly sorry to hear that ._. but on a serious note.... I need to know, do you feel less pleasure in your dick now?
#34 to #15 - ilgattozaiga
Reply +1
(09/20/2013) [-]
I'm cut and feel pleasure completely fine. I don't know if it would've been a stronger pleasure or not since I had the procedure when I was six, but I'm not disadvantaged when it comes to sexual activity. I guess it depends from person to person.
#37 to #34 - danniegurl ONLINE
Reply +1
(09/20/2013) [-]
well, that's why he asked the other guy. being a senior who'd jerked it already before he got it done, he'd know the difference.
#39 to #37 - theaphasic
Reply +1
(09/20/2013) [-]
It's... odd.
I couldn't fap for a month because the tip of penis was way too ******* sensitive.
So fapping was great for like 2 months. After that, mehh.

Here's the thing, they don't circumcise like they used to- they realized that you need the nerve endings and ****, so they don't cut it off, they peel it back and stitch it back onto your dick.
#40 to #39 - danniegurl ONLINE
Reply +1
(09/20/2013) [-]
so it felt better circumcised once you could fap though?
#42 to #40 - theaphasic
Reply +1
(09/20/2013) [-]
For like a month or so. Then I adjusted, and it was pretty much the same.
#44 to #42 - danniegurl ONLINE
Reply +1
(09/20/2013) [-]
so, jw, why didn't you object?
#45 to #44 - theaphasic
Reply +2
(09/20/2013) [-]
Refer to above, but basically

me vs. my parents & ex-gf that really liked her dicks circumcised for some reason.
we broke up 2 months later.

Again. mfw.
#38 to #37 - ilgattozaiga
Reply +1
(09/20/2013) [-]
Good thinking, I hadn't realised that. Although it always helps when you get extra input on a topic.
#25 to #13 - realaccount
Reply +2
(09/20/2013) [-]
I know how it feels man. I got circumcised at the age of 13, and that **** was awful.
#18 to #13 - tffan
Reply +36
(09/20/2013) [-]
Why didn't you object to this idea?!!! You have the right to say no to this.
Why didn't you object to this idea?!!! You have the right to say no to this.
#41 to #18 - theaphasic
Reply +18
(09/20/2013) [-]
Well, it was me vs. my parents and my now ex girlfriend. She said that she'd finally agree to blowing me if I did it. For some reason, she really wanted me to do it.
Given how I broke up like 2 months after that, and since then all the girls that I've done ANYTHING with (which aren't many, mind you) have all commented on how my dick is half-normal color and half-baby pink?

Yeah. I definitely wasn't thinking with the right head.
#73 to #41 - junkisftw
Reply +15
(09/20/2013) [-]
haha. head.
#63 to #41 - garymotherfinoak
Reply +2
(09/20/2013) [-]
I'm sorry bro.
#80 to #63 - yaybacon
Reply +3
(09/21/2013) [-]
I love these pictures
#81 to #41 - cubicalpayload ONLINE
Reply +1
(09/21/2013) [-]
You could've just said a half-inch of normal-color and a half-inch of baby-pink. Since insulting someone's dick gets a lot of thumbs.
#2 - jaypaul
Reply +40
(09/20/2013) [-]
#10 - mohne
Reply +28
(09/20/2013) [-]
doctors face when
#49 - turtlepoop
Reply +17
(09/20/2013) [-]
It got quite creepy the other day he didn't use a glove when he gave me my rectal exam, he didn't lube up either

Last time i'm ever going to that dentist
#59 to #49 - radtroll
Reply +5
(09/20/2013) [-]
dat joke
dat joke
#60 to #59 - turtlepoop
Reply +1
(09/20/2013) [-]
idgi it's not a joke
#78 to #60 - smithforprez
Reply 0
(09/21/2013) [-]
that just makes me laugh even harder
#5 - popcornqueen
Reply +16
(09/20/2013) [-]
My girlfriend's getting penis surgery in a week.
#9 to #5 - anon
Reply 0
(09/20/2013) [-]
Seems like you're gonna miss sucking penis.
#8 to #5 - arreatface ONLINE
Reply +1
(09/20/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#69 - krasnogvardiech
Reply +12
(09/20/2013) [-]
#65 - sexypandas
Reply +6
(09/20/2013) [-]
If I ever need to go through surgery, Imma tie a note to my dick with the following: "if you can read this, you've got the wrong patient."
#22 - themajorcaptcha
Reply 0
(09/20/2013) [-]
hue
#30 to #22 - urfunnyman
Reply 0
(09/20/2013) [-]
Welp We're all ******
#31 to #30 - urfunnyman
Reply 0
(09/20/2013) [-]
someone actually did it
#32 to #31 - urfunnyman
Reply 0
(09/20/2013) [-]
they really ******* did
#33 to #32 - urfunnyman
Reply 0
(09/20/2013) [-]
End of the universe here we come
#92 to #33 - matheomaidana
Reply -1
(09/21/2013) [-]
did you really need 4 comments for that
#74 to #22 - jwagswashere
Reply +6
(09/20/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#75 - prezodent
Reply +2
(09/21/2013) [-]
Reminds me of when my teacher got foot surgery, they wrote "this one" on the foot being operated on