Colin was bragging to his boss one day, "You
know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name
someone, anyone, and I guarantee I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss calls his bluff,
Okay Colin, how about Tom Cruise?"
Sure; yes. Tom and I are old friends, and I can
So Colin and his boss fly out to Hollywood and
knock on Tom Cruise' s door. Sure enough, Tom Cruise
shouts, "Colin! Great to see you! You and your friend
come right in and join me for lunch!" Although
impressed, Colin' s boss is still skeptical.
After they leave Cruise' s house, he tells Colin that
he thinks Colin' s knowing Cruise was lucky. "No, no,
just name anyone else," Colin says. "President
Obama," his boss quickly retorts. "Yes," Colin says, " I
know him. Let' s fly to DC. "And off they go. At the
White House, President Obama spots Colin on a tour
and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Colin!
What a surprise! I was just on my way to a meeting,
but you and your friend come on and we' ll have a cup
of coffee first and catch up."
Well the boss is very shaken by now, but still not
totally convinced. After they leave the White House
grounds he expresses his doubts to Colin, who again
implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his
boss replies. "Sure!" says Colin. "My folks are from
Poland, and We known the Pope a long time."
So off they fly to Rome. Colin and his boss are
assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when
Colin says, "This will never work. I can' t catch the
Pope' s eye among all these people. Tell you what; I
know the guards, so let me just go upstairs and I' ll
come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he
disappears into the crowd towards the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later, Colin emerges
with the Pope on the balcony but by the time Colin
returns, he finds his boss has had a heart attack and is
surrounded with paramedics. Working his way to his
boss' s side, Colin asks him, "What happened?" His
boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and
the Pope came out on the balcony. And then the man
next to me said, 'Who the fuck is that on the balcony