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truth

RUBBING BATIK Mil FORWARD
WHEN YOU ARE ON TOP DOESN' T GOOD
TRY UP AND .
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SOMETIMES IS HIST m OPPOSITE
HE TO
IF HIS PENIS IS DRY, BE CAREFUL
mm IT "mni' um
ER INTO Ills EAR My DIRTY
TOUGNE THAT ********* YOUR MIND
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BOYS blitt TO f CARESSED TOO
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PANTYHOSE/ STOCKINGS = GREAT
rit.
SOB“; Maury,
Ailith HOW TO POT ON ll CONDOM
WITH CONFIDENCE ANILINE IT
um mm: EVERYTHING instea
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ARON IT
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Tell HIM WHEN YOU' RE ABOUT TO GUM
THE FIRST TIMES In HAVE SEX
11: won mu any slam
HE DOESN' T IT ROUGH EVERY
DAY OF THE WEEK
ctr,
TRY GOING SLOW Till‘ THE END
m THREE WORDS FOR A PERFECT :
tnmn ,
TRY BEING DOMINANT SOMETIMES
HE WM; ufak IT
And maybe the most important one...
BE YOUR BODY
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IF HE IS HAVING SEI( Y. I_ ‘ AITH YOU’?
HE EVERY PART OF I
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...
  • Recommend tagsx
+1416
Views: 62109
Favorited: 684
Submitted: 09/04/2013
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Comments(555):

[ 555 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#76 - matralith (09/04/2013) [-]
Relatable

User avatar #480 to #76 - imaginariness (09/05/2013) [-]
Ouch dude
User avatar #343 to #76 - elcreepo (09/05/2013) [-]
So teach her, because if she does it that way nobody honestly taught her.

And it is tricky to suck a cock, takes practice and time to make it so that your teeth aren't in the way.
User avatar #435 to #57 - Battlescarss (09/05/2013) [-]
This is great.
#549 to #57 - anon (09/05/2013) [-]
ASIANS CAN ACTUALLY READ MINDS!!!!!!!!!!!!
They can hear, and see what you're visually thinking. This is the absolute complete truth!!!!!

Asians hide their mind reading abilities by a lot of them having completely expressionless faces so they don't accidentally show facial expressions when people think things they don't like, find funny, astonishing, etc, and Asians segregate so their not nearly as susceptible to that happening.
Asians also segregate, and are untalkative to avoid accidentally saying things that are similar to what people are thinking and going to say.

Try thinking, and visually picturing things that are as wild as you can when you are around Asians, and look for Asians who give people dirty/particular looks for what appears to be for completely no reason.

PLEASE SPREAD THE MESSAGE!!!!! THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW THIS!!!!!
User avatar #198 to #57 - mrcowll (09/04/2013) [-]
Yea... The whole caressed one could be a lie. I'm extremely ticklish so it ends up with a lot of laughter.
User avatar #333 to #198 - ompalomper (09/05/2013) [-]
this comment made me wonder what would happen if you had a ticklefight during sex

i bet it would be really chaotic and awkward but the though is hilarious
User avatar #554 to #333 - Shadow Guardian (09/05/2013) [-]
It's really fun. It just depends on the kind of sex and the kind of tickles.
User avatar #338 to #333 - mrcowll (09/05/2013) [-]
I laugh myself to tears so it's really ******* awkward. It's so bad so if you poke me in the ribs I'll jump. I can barely ******* breath. I make it very clear about my tickling issues in any relationship though... but they always feel the need to try it out.
#12 - anon (09/04/2013) [-]


I like socks.


 
User avatar #353 to #12 - pickstar (09/05/2013) [-]
I am LITERALLY the only red thumb on this comment
User avatar #461 to #353 - dsgbiohazard (09/05/2013) [-]
germed is LITERALLY the only red thumb on your comment.
User avatar #462 to #461 - germed (09/05/2013) [-]
<3
User avatar #202 to #12 - butterisgood (09/04/2013) [-]
socks are my fetish
User avatar #340 to #202 - elcreepo (09/05/2013) [-]
Same here. She could be wearing any plain as day ones and it'd be awesome for me.
0
#297 to #202 - canhasdrums has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #451 to #12 - istoleyoursoxs (09/05/2013) [-]
sorry to tell you but....

username
#527 to #12 - anon (09/05/2013) [-]
Just to make this Anon feel better, Socks are proven to help a female orgasm more easily.

Some science thing about keeping the feet warm yadda yadda. Google it.
#104 to #12 - anon (09/04/2013) [-]
I remember reading something about nerve endings in the toes and the clit are somehow connected so wearing socks makes a woman cum faster. In my experience thats true so socks on them is good, however as a man NEVER wear socks...
#69 to #12 - anon (09/04/2013) [-]
I agree... my girlfriend went to catholic school and still has these knee high socks, idk why but i love when she wears just them
#37 to #12 - bigblacknegro (09/04/2013) [-]
but duuuude.   
stockings
but duuuude.
stockings
#191 to #37 - shadowdong (09/04/2013) [-]
this is ultimately the best show in existence
#120 to #37 - likeabox (09/04/2013) [-]
Sauce?
User avatar #135 to #120 - thekeldog (09/04/2013) [-]
P&SwG

aka panty and stocking with garterbelt. Need a link?

#143 to #135 - likeabox (09/04/2013) [-]
yes please...
User avatar #383 to #197 - stripey (09/05/2013) [-]
I loved that series, one of the first animes I finished.

< my avatar is based off the credits
User avatar #387 to #383 - yuvesh (09/05/2013) [-]
cool
i have yet to finish it, i might get back into it and watch the last few episodes

did you prefer the English or Japanese dub
User avatar #394 to #387 - stripey (09/05/2013) [-]
That's a tricky question, a lot of people will give very different answers.

On one hand, it is one of the best dubs I've ever seen, with jokes coming across a lot better in english. That's definitely my recommendation.

On the other hand, RUUURUU~
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwZSzlk4JHA
User avatar #398 to #394 - yuvesh (09/05/2013) [-]
thanks, i'll go for english
User avatar #403 to #398 - stripey (09/05/2013) [-]
Good choice ^^

Tell me what you think of the ending.
User avatar #405 to #403 - yuvesh (09/05/2013) [-]
i'll probs wont watch it until the next few days never speak to you again
User avatar #407 to #405 - stripey (09/05/2013) [-]
Do whatever you want man, I was just curious as to what you would think about it.
#551 to #407 - anon (09/05/2013) [-]
ASIANS CAN ACTUALLY READ MINDS!!!!!!!!!!!!
They can hear, and see what you're visually thinking. This is the absolute complete truth!!!!!

Asians hide their mind reading abilities by a lot of them having completely expressionless faces so they don't accidentally show facial expressions when people think things they don't like, find funny, astonishing, etc, and Asians segregate so their not nearly as susceptible to that happening.
Asians also segregate, and are untalkative to avoid accidentally saying things that are similar to what people are thinking and going to say.

Try thinking, and visually picturing things that are as wild as you can when you are around Asians, and look for Asians who give people dirty/particular looks for what appears to be for completely no reason.

PLEASE SPREAD THE MESSAGE!!!!! THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW THIS!!!!!
User avatar #558 to #551 - stripey (09/05/2013) [-]
k.
#86 - pappathethird (09/04/2013) [-]
What the hell is wrong with socks? I get that a guy shouldn't be wearing them, but I can think of few things sexier than a cute girl in nothing but her socks
User avatar #236 to #86 - horsecrab (09/04/2013) [-]
Socks are adorable, but feel ******* weird to the skin. It's cute looking, but feels unnatural compared to bare skin.

Everyone is different though.
User avatar #87 to #86 - azumeow (09/04/2013) [-]
I was actually planning to say something too when I saw that.

Socks are adorable.
#43 - littlejessicaxox (09/04/2013) [-]
I found this one and highly disagree
User avatar #346 to #43 - elcreepo (09/05/2013) [-]
But... hot balls against your crotch is an invitation and should be treated like such!
#460 to #43 - anon (09/05/2013) [-]
We can't hide our boners. Without our boners, there will be no poking for the appropriate part.
#265 to #43 - keirabarnez (09/04/2013) [-]
Yes, yes it does.
User avatar #266 to #265 - littlejessicaxox (09/04/2013) [-]
It is the way that 85% of my sexual encounters have begun
User avatar #286 to #43 - hotsaws (09/04/2013) [-]
Well it would depend for me.
Going to bed at night: Oh how nice. Lets **** .
Waking up in the morning: ***** get your dick out my ass.
User avatar #8 - lolokoko **User deleted account** (09/04/2013) [-]
Giving sex tips to Funnyjunk is like giving diet pills to skinny people.
User avatar #300 to #8 - sinclairr (09/04/2013) [-]
i duno i r have the sex many time

Seriously though not everyone who goes on a website to laugh becomes a virgin for life, or stays a virgin, or some **** .
#548 to #8 - anon (09/05/2013) [-]
ASIANS CAN ACTUALLY READ MINDS!!!!!!!!!!!!
They can hear, and see what you're visually thinking. This is the absolute complete truth!!!!!

Asians hide their mind reading abilities by a lot of them having completely expressionless faces so they don't accidentally show facial expressions when people think things they don't like, find funny, astonishing, etc, and Asians segregate so their not nearly as susceptible to that happening.
Asians also segregate, and are untalkative to avoid accidentally saying things that are similar to what people are thinking and going to say.

Try thinking, and visually picturing things that are as wild as you can when you are around Asians, and look for Asians who give people dirty/particular looks for what appears to be for completely no reason.

PLEASE SPREAD THE MESSAGE!!!!! THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW THIS!!!!!
#181 to #8 - anon (09/04/2013) [-]
Your comparison was flawed yet got incredible up votes, what you just implied was that funnyjunk users get so many girls as is that they dont need sex tips because they already got all the best moves...
Hence: diet pills (sex tips); skinny people [Someone whom wont need a diet pill as he is already skinny] (FJ users).

See the issue?
#109 to #8 - hurblurb (09/04/2013) [-]
That would be implying we are already having sex.
More like giving diet pills to people who can't swallow pills.
#111 to #8 - anon (09/04/2013) [-]
Not sure if because don't have sex or because already pro at sex
#547 to #8 - nizarut (09/05/2013) [-]
Are you saying we get laid so much that we don't need tips?
#217 to #8 - sedativechunk (09/04/2013) [-]
**sedativechunk rolled a random image posted in comment #37 at Passing a drug test ** mfw when your comment applies to me
User avatar #537 to #8 - swimmingprodigy (09/05/2013) [-]
>implying we dont need sex tips because we're already good at sex



thanks for the compliment



wait.


**** .
User avatar #250 to #8 - lolokoko **User deleted account** (09/04/2013) [-]
You guys really blew this out of proportion.

Carry on
User avatar #9 to #8 - vexaton (09/04/2013) [-]
Giving sex tips to Funnyjunk is like giving sex tips to any other place on the internet... People who are sexually active will appreciate the tips, people who pretend to be appreciate the opportunity to brag, and the people who are lonely will take the opportunity to generalize the rest of the internet as betas.

I for one, appreciate the tips. Even though I know them already, I don't think my fiance knows them, and frankly, she loves sex too much to deny something that will spice things up a bit.
#51 to #9 - raditaz (09/04/2013) [-]
Well said man
User avatar #52 to #51 - vexaton (09/04/2013) [-]
Thanks
#550 to #52 - anon (09/05/2013) [-]
ASIANS CAN ACTUALLY READ MINDS!!!!!!!!!!!!
They can hear, and see what you're visually thinking. This is the absolute complete truth!!!!!

Asians hide their mind reading abilities by a lot of them having completely expressionless faces so they don't accidentally show facial expressions when people think things they don't like, find funny, astonishing, etc, and Asians segregate so their not nearly as susceptible to that happening.
Asians also segregate, and are untalkative to avoid accidentally saying things that are similar to what people are thinking and going to say.

Try thinking, and visually picturing things that are as wild as you can when you are around Asians, and look for Asians who give people dirty/particular looks for what appears to be for completely no reason.

PLEASE SPREAD THE MESSAGE!!!!! THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW THIS!!!!!
#49 to #9 - anon (09/04/2013) [-]
k
User avatar #495 to #9 - gardenmanly (09/05/2013) [-]
I was logged out a second ago, and I saw that the word "spice" was censored...

Why on earth is the word spice censored. Should I feel dirty while making a spice cake. or when watering my spice garden, or when going through my spice cabinet?
Does this explain the 3 powerpuff girls and why buttercup is so vulgar? With Bubbles being the sugar, Buttercup being the spice, Blossom being everything nice?

#525 to #495 - Willmooo (09/05/2013) [-]
He who controls the spice, controls the universe
User avatar #292 to #9 - crazehtoast (09/04/2013) [-]
I remember them for the future.
#28 to #8 - captainoptimist (09/04/2013) [-]
That's a bad analogy. You're trying to imply that people on FJ are losers and will never have sex. But giving diet pills to skinny people is pointless because they are ALREADY skinny and don't NEED them. So, that implies that people on FJ are already awesome at sex and don't need tips.

Better analogy: Giving sex tips to Funnyjunk is like giving a waffle iron to a fish.
User avatar #282 to #28 - zombiepipboy (09/04/2013) [-]
I think he was implying that they don't need them, but I like your analogy as well
#454 - theswede (09/05/2013) [-]
Most likely the people who see this will not be able to apply them to real life. It's Funnyjunk
User avatar #485 to #454 - jackenov **User deleted account** (09/05/2013) [-]
Even though I've seen it before, it made me laugh. So here's my thumb good sir
#489 to #454 - chittywok **User deleted account** (09/05/2013) [-]
HEY i had sex. Once...    
   
   
....time for suicide i guess
HEY i had sex. Once...


....time for suicide i guess
#16 - nagafever (09/04/2013) [-]
**nagafever rolled a random image posted in comment #3552615 at Friendly ** I don't mind socks... anything to cover up the feet honestly
#283 to #16 - burnitup (09/04/2013) [-]
...i like feet
User avatar #54 to #16 - makonendrak (09/04/2013) [-]
Yeah, I ******* hate feet
#330 to #16 - nagafever (09/05/2013) [-]
**nagafever rolled a random image posted in comment #34809 at Drawing & Art - drawing games, drawing online, how to draw, drawing lessons online ** and i'm just sitting here wondering if people agree with me or they just like my roll
#288 to #16 - twofreegerbils (09/04/2013) [-]
Just /k/ things <3
User avatar #56 to #16 - elynichujy (09/04/2013) [-]
Thigh-high socks are extremely hnng.
#66 to #16 - anon (09/04/2013) [-]
crocks?
#11 - anon (09/04/2013) [-]
I like arching my back upwards. It makes me look bigger and more intimidating.
User avatar #453 to #11 - cactusphalus (09/05/2013) [-]
Hope you're happy... I just spit my beer
User avatar #72 to #11 - stallwallwriter (09/04/2013) [-]
Wait, these are sex tips. I think you're thinking about scaring off a mountain lion.
#352 - oxYKellark (09/05/2013) [-]
MFW knee high socks.    
shut up OP
MFW knee high socks.
shut up OP
#360 to #352 - tarnis (09/05/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#467 to #360 - timetravelzero (09/05/2013) [-]
Favorite Disney-related insult.
Favorite Disney-related insult.
#478 - killerguga (09/05/2013) [-]
Who need's a GF?
Who need's a GF?
#291 - reddeadtroll (09/04/2013) [-]
Seriously? Knee-high socks are my fetish.
User avatar #304 to #291 - sasquatchjc (09/05/2013) [-]
dude **** yea
User avatar #61 - zumbs (09/04/2013) [-]
Okay but now teach the guys how to please girls.
User avatar #94 to #61 - texasbarbie (09/04/2013) [-]
yes please?
User avatar #108 to #61 - gotbannedicusvile (09/04/2013) [-]
takes time. But once you find her spot its easy.
-1
#272 to #61 - orangegoblin has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #567 to #272 - danniegurl (09/08/2013) [-]
how would you like if someone bit the tip of your dick?
no girl would like someone biting it.
#235 to #61 - anon (09/04/2013) [-]
Guys know how to please girls
You just pick the assholes who don't care about you like ~all other girls do
Save your red thumbs posting as anon, but everyone knows this is the truth
User avatar #560 to #235 - zumbs (09/05/2013) [-]
Sorry, you dropped your fedora.
#469 to #61 - adorableness (09/05/2013) [-]
Then you'll have to order my next tape.
#218 to #61 - leachan **User deleted account** (09/04/2013) [-]
Step one: touch clitoris   
   
You have now pleased a woman.   
   
(source: I have a vagina)
Step one: touch clitoris

You have now pleased a woman.

(source: I have a vagina)
User avatar #65 to #61 - lolollo (09/04/2013) [-]
Step one: Find a girl who isn't inept at communicating what she wants out of sex.

And we're done...
User avatar #68 to #65 - skeptical (09/04/2013) [-]
such hard
trying impossible
#62 to #61 - infinitereaper (09/04/2013) [-]
I'm afraid that volume 6 hasn't been completed yet.
#433 - mrsteamer (09/05/2013) [-]
i feel like...this was all written by a guy.
User avatar #437 to #433 - nightmaren (09/05/2013) [-]
The back arching thing definitely was. When their back is arched upwards it can usually feel better for them.
#468 to #437 - Gonenuts (09/05/2013) [-]
But when you have a big one it can go too deep if her back is arched up. Just make sure you're going in from an upward angle while her back is arched down and it's almost the same as she was arched up (dick rubbing the front wall of the vagina if you were wondering what's so special about it). And yeah I'm a guy, but it doesn't hurt to know this kind of stuff and the best to learn is through asking your gf or any girl who's giving you some 'n some.
#355 - darknemisis (09/05/2013) [-]
Socks are the ******* **** ...
User avatar #384 to #355 - acask (09/05/2013) [-]
only the tall ones none of the ankle ones tho
#411 to #384 - Gonenuts (09/05/2013) [-]
I personally love all socks on a beautiful girl. Still the tall ones are the bomb! Specially the white and black ones that go well above the knee.
User avatar #412 to #411 - acask (09/05/2013) [-]
true dat have a thumb
#474 to #412 - Gonenuts (09/05/2013) [-]
Thanks. Would give you one in return, but I'm not yet level 2.
User avatar #475 to #474 - acask (09/05/2013) [-]
is ok
User avatar #370 to #355 - Kabutops (09/05/2013) [-]
honeslty in my opinion they look good on certain girls
#472 to #355 - timetravelzero (09/05/2013) [-]
inb4 flagged for 2sexy4SFW
#482 - jdubbs (09/05/2013) [-]
This image has expired
My gf has never gotten better advice.
#556 to #482 - zerotzallander (09/05/2013) [-]
and then there's these people
User avatar #494 to #482 - annoyingsmartguy (09/05/2013) [-]
Hey... that looks suspiciously like my girlfriend! Is she cheating on me?
User avatar #503 to #494 - jdubbs (09/05/2013) [-]
Sorry to tell you this but she is. She is just so handy i couldn't help myself.
#341 - corpsedolly (09/05/2013) [-]
But....knee highs are hot..
User avatar #348 to #341 - thecolorman (09/05/2013) [-]
this to infinity and beyond
thigh highs are even better
User avatar #365 to #348 - mydogizmexican (09/05/2013) [-]
Socks that are longer than average, are amazing in general my good Sir and or Madame!
User avatar #414 to #348 - exclamation (09/05/2013) [-]
Knee highs don't do it for me... thigh highs and beyond are the greatest
#13 - pitch (09/04/2013) [-]
&quot;ER INTO Ills EAR My DIRTY   
TOUGNE THAT 			*********		 YOUR MIND&quot;   
   
   
   
The bulbs seems to be very excited about 			************		 minds.
"ER INTO Ills EAR My DIRTY
TOUGNE THAT ********* YOUR MIND"



The bulbs seems to be very excited about ************ minds.
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