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#50 - Wumbologist (09/04/2013) [-]
stickied
Funny thing about giraffe sex: 90% of it is male-on-male. Almost all giraffes are bisexual, so, considering the 3% that's female-on-female, only 7% of giraffe sex is heterosexual. So, like the picture said, male giraffes don't want to waste their time with females ( ******* gross amirite fellas) unless they're making a baby, so they smack the girl's ass with their heads until they start peeing (If she's really down, she pees a lot). Then the two giraffes engage in coitus for literally seconds so that the female can be impregnated and begin her gestation term of 400 days.
Wish I was making this **** up, people.
User avatar #192 to #50 - sunnyday (09/05/2013) [-]
Today, I learned something.

Thank you, Wumbo.
#191 to #50 - mattdoggy (09/05/2013) [-]
at first i thought you were a faggot and was sure you were full of crap   
but then i saw your name   
 f-forgive me sempai!
at first i thought you were a faggot and was sure you were full of crap
but then i saw your name
f-forgive me sempai!
#186 to #50 - thomaster (09/04/2013) [-]
Ow OP...
Ow OP...
User avatar #183 to #50 - mrshrapnel (09/04/2013) [-]
Now make one of those but about Dolphins, giggles will be had and green thumps will be given.
#174 to #50 - jujuthefireking (09/04/2013) [-]
Today children I learned that I am in fact more gay then a giraffe.
#169 to #50 - gux ONLINE (09/04/2013) [-]
This image has expired
only giraffe related content i have.
(don't ask why)
#168 to #50 - shrekdurself (09/04/2013) [-]
Giraffes also have long necks so they can say hello to god up in the clouds
User avatar #159 to #50 - dabronydude (09/04/2013) [-]
as someone who never understands humor, is this based on any fact or this
just a joke?
User avatar #178 to #159 - emptysuperman (09/04/2013) [-]
It's all fact.
User avatar #179 to #178 - dabronydude (09/04/2013) [-]
well damn, really interesting.
#153 to #50 - schrodngrscat (09/04/2013) [-]
I learned all of this from John Green
I learned all of this from John Green
#156 to #153 - learned (09/04/2013) [-]
I hope you find this information very valuable. You better cherish it for the rest of your life.
I hope you find this information very valuable. You better cherish it for the rest of your life.
#157 to #156 - schrodngrscat (09/04/2013) [-]
I will, my friend, because as you know everything I learned I learned from you.
#158 to #157 - learned (09/04/2013) [-]
Correct sentence would of been:   
"I will, my friend, because as you know everything I learned I learned from you, learned."
Correct sentence would of been:
"I will, my friend, because as you know everything I learned I learned from you, learned."
#166 to #158 - schrodngrscat (09/04/2013) [-]
Of course. I apologize, learned. I won't make that mistake again.
#152 to #50 - tailsx (09/04/2013) [-]
"Mmm...good morning, honey. Oh, yeah, that feels so good. Wha-HEY HEY HEY!! What the hell?!?! You're not the same giraffe from last night! Get outta here!"
User avatar #149 to #50 - russiaball (09/04/2013) [-]
how erotic
#148 to #50 - fecal (09/04/2013) [-]
Im kinda curious how lesbian giraffe sex would work out
#190 to #148 - skinnypanda (09/04/2013) [-]
They use their horns as dildos.
#130 to #50 - pomsidoms (09/04/2013) [-]
I'm a Zoologist and i can confirm this fact ^^
They be Nasty
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#128 to #50 - pomsidoms has deleted their comment [-]
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#127 to #50 - pomsidoms has deleted their comment [-]
+3
#126 to #50 - Sunset has deleted their comment [-]
#119 to #50 - xxxsonic fanxxx (09/04/2013) [-]
Would you happen to be a Zoologist?
#124 to #119 - tabarzins (09/04/2013) [-]
He's a Wumbologist, probably more credible.
#108 to #50 - daentraya (09/04/2013) [-]
Giraffe love is so romantic
User avatar #106 to #50 - konradkurze (09/04/2013) [-]
reminds me of the movie 'gladiator" where some royal guy was raging that the merchant sold him gay giraffes
(was one male and one female but they wouldnt mate so he thought they were gay)
User avatar #99 to #50 - Ihazfunkitty (09/04/2013) [-]
we should trust this guy, hes a wumbologist
#98 to #50 - kidsquicker (09/04/2013) [-]
Also, they just don't give a **** about one another.
User avatar #96 to #50 - thatnerdyguy (09/04/2013) [-]
I knew this was going to be a top-tier comment as soon as I saw "giraffe sex" combined with "I happen to be an expert on this topic."
User avatar #84 to #50 - tacogrenade (09/04/2013) [-]
Are you saying that all giraffes originated in San Francisco ??
#71 to #50 - jacofhearts (09/04/2013) [-]
VlogBrothers did a video on that!
User avatar #76 to #71 - waterbottlemanboy (09/04/2013) [-]
John taught me Elephants could rule the world if they didn't take 22 months to give birth to ONE kid.
#55 to #50 - dontknowmeatall (09/04/2013) [-]
I'm afraid to ask but... how is lesbian giraffe sex?
User avatar #67 to #55 - tenthdivine (09/04/2013) [-]
Well they have enormous tongues so there's one possibility...
User avatar #69 to #67 - Silver Quantum (09/04/2013) [-]
except they don't engage in oral sex
User avatar #70 to #69 - tenthdivine (09/04/2013) [-]
We don't know that!
User avatar #72 to #70 - Silver Quantum (09/04/2013) [-]
giraffes only have sex for the sole purpose of procreation
User avatar #73 to #72 - tenthdivine (09/04/2013) [-]
Did you even read the dude's comment about the gay giraffes?! 90% of the time they're ******* dudes. I don't know for sure but I think they're smart enough to know gay sex doesn't make babies.
User avatar #75 to #73 - Silver Quantum (09/04/2013) [-]
yeah i think the point is they're not smart enough to know that
User avatar #79 to #75 - tenthdivine (09/04/2013) [-]
Or maybe they are smart enough but just prefer butthole ******* !
User avatar #80 to #79 - Silver Quantum (09/04/2013) [-]
except giraffes don't have sex for pleasure
User avatar #81 to #80 - tenthdivine (09/04/2013) [-]
Then why the **** are 93% of them performing coitus in a homosexual manner? They're obviously just banging to get their rocks off

so I just had a thought. Giraffes probably have very large genitalia being that penis size is directly related to the size of the animal.... They can't lube that thing up, and anuses don't self-lubricate like vaginae do.... So those gay giraffes are roughing it..... oh god the pain o.o....
#90 to #81 - elyiia (09/04/2013) [-]
Penis size isn't necessarily related to body size, for example gorrilas which are roughly the same height as humans have far smaller penises.  I don't even know why I know this
Penis size isn't necessarily related to body size, for example gorrilas which are roughly the same height as humans have far smaller penises. I don't even know why I know this
User avatar #88 to #81 - sisterblister (09/04/2013) [-]
actually its quite small its about 1/4 the sizeof a horses
User avatar #82 to #81 - Silver Quantum (09/04/2013) [-]
i'm not entirely sure why that statistic is so high, but the only mammals that have sex for pleasure are humans, dolphins and a couple other species, giraffes not included
#109 to #82 - BerryLicious (09/04/2013) [-]
We get it, you're a homophobic nut who doesn't believe any creature outside of the ****** up human race is capable of any thought. **** off now, your stupidity is draining my IQ.
User avatar #184 to #109 - Silver Quantum (09/04/2013) [-]
actually it's your own stupidity draining your own iq if you came to the conclusion i'm homophobic
#87 to #82 - FuckTheWhat ONLINE (09/04/2013) [-]
That's been proven false many times since that "fact" was released into the mainstream air.
User avatar #65 to #55 - redrex (09/04/2013) [-]
i think they just hump and hump and hump until they find out neither of them have penises
User avatar #56 to #55 - areialview (09/04/2013) [-]
I am quite curious about that as well
#51 to #50 - jellykuba (09/04/2013) [-]
You know what? I'm sticking your **** , this made me laugh so much more then it should have.
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