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#50 - Wumbologist
Reply +333
(09/04/2013) [-]
stickied
Funny thing about giraffe sex: 90% of it is male-on-male. Almost all giraffes are bisexual, so, considering the 3% that's female-on-female, only 7% of giraffe sex is heterosexual. So, like the picture said, male giraffes don't want to waste their time with females (******* gross amirite fellas) unless they're making a baby, so they smack the girl's ass with their heads until they start peeing (If she's really down, she pees a lot). Then the two giraffes engage in coitus for literally seconds so that the female can be impregnated and begin her gestation term of 400 days.
Wish I was making this **** up, people.
#192 to #50 - sunnyday
Reply 0
(09/05/2013) [-]
Today, I learned something.

Thank you, Wumbo.
#191 to #50 - mattdoggy
Reply +3
(09/05/2013) [-]
at first i thought you were a faggot and was sure you were full of crap   
but then i saw your name   
 f-forgive me sempai!
at first i thought you were a faggot and was sure you were full of crap
but then i saw your name
f-forgive me sempai!
#187 to #50 - Welshhobo
Reply +3
(09/04/2013) [-]
#186 to #50 - thomaster
Reply 0
(09/04/2013) [-]
Ow OP...
Ow OP...
#183 to #50 - mrshrapnel
Reply 0
(09/04/2013) [-]
Now make one of those but about Dolphins, giggles will be had and green thumps will be given.
#174 to #50 - jujuthefireking
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
Today children I learned that I am in fact more gay then a giraffe.
#169 to #50 - gux
Reply +2
(09/04/2013) [-]
This image has expired
only giraffe related content i have.
(don't ask why)
#168 to #50 - shrekdurself
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
Giraffes also have long necks so they can say hello to god up in the clouds
#167 to #50 - yisumad
Reply 0
(09/04/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#159 to #50 - dabronydude
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
as someone who never understands humor, is this based on any fact or this
just a joke?
#178 to #159 - emptysuperman
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
It's all fact.
#179 to #178 - dabronydude
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
well damn, really interesting.
#153 to #50 - schrodngrscat
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
I learned all of this from John Green
I learned all of this from John Green
#156 to #153 - learned
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
I hope you find this information very valuable. You better cherish it for the rest of your life.
I hope you find this information very valuable. You better cherish it for the rest of your life.
#157 to #156 - schrodngrscat
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
I will, my friend, because as you know everything I learned I learned from you.
#158 to #157 - learned
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
Correct sentence would of been:   
"I will, my friend, because as you know everything I learned I learned from you, learned."
Correct sentence would of been:
"I will, my friend, because as you know everything I learned I learned from you, learned."
#166 to #158 - schrodngrscat
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
Of course. I apologize, learned. I won't make that mistake again.
#152 to #50 - tailsx
Reply +2
(09/04/2013) [-]
"Mmm...good morning, honey. Oh, yeah, that feels so good. Wha-HEY HEY HEY!! What the hell?!?! You're not the same giraffe from last night! Get outta here!"
#149 to #50 - russiaball
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
how erotic
#148 to #50 - fecal
Reply +3
(09/04/2013) [-]
Im kinda curious how lesbian giraffe sex would work out
#190 to #148 - skinnypanda ONLINE
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
They use their horns as dildos.
#135 to #50 - dross
Reply +7
(09/04/2013) [-]
#130 to #50 - pomsidoms
Reply +10
(09/04/2013) [-]
I'm a Zoologist and i can confirm this fact ^^
They be Nasty
#128 to #50 - pomsidoms
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#127 to #50 - pomsidoms
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#126 to #50 - Sunset
+3
has deleted their comment [-]
#119 to #50 - anon
Reply 0
(09/04/2013) [-]
Would you happen to be a Zoologist?
#124 to #119 - tabarzins
Reply +7
(09/04/2013) [-]
He's a Wumbologist, probably more credible.
#108 to #50 - daentraya
Reply +4
(09/04/2013) [-]
Giraffe love is so romantic
#106 to #50 - konradkurze
Reply +2
(09/04/2013) [-]
reminds me of the movie 'gladiator" where some royal guy was raging that the merchant sold him gay giraffes
(was one male and one female but they wouldnt mate so he thought they were gay)
#99 to #50 - Ihazfunkitty
Reply +18
(09/04/2013) [-]
we should trust this guy, hes a wumbologist
#98 to #50 - kidsquicker
Reply +25
(09/04/2013) [-]
Also, they just don't give a **** about one another.
#96 to #50 - thatnerdyguy
Reply +8
(09/04/2013) [-]
I knew this was going to be a top-tier comment as soon as I saw "giraffe sex" combined with "I happen to be an expert on this topic."
#84 to #50 - tacogrenade
Reply +21
(09/04/2013) [-]
Are you saying that all giraffes originated in San Francisco ??
#71 to #50 - jacofhearts
Reply +2
(09/04/2013) [-]
VlogBrothers did a video on that!
#76 to #71 - waterbottlemanboy
Reply +4
(09/04/2013) [-]
John taught me Elephants could rule the world if they didn't take 22 months to give birth to ONE kid.
#55 to #50 - dontknowmeatall
Reply +12
(09/04/2013) [-]
I'm afraid to ask but... how is lesbian giraffe sex?
#67 to #55 - tenthdivine
Reply +10
(09/04/2013) [-]
Well they have enormous tongues so there's one possibility...
#69 to #67 - Silver Quantum
Reply -9
(09/04/2013) [-]
except they don't engage in oral sex
#70 to #69 - tenthdivine
Reply +8
(09/04/2013) [-]
We don't know that!
#72 to #70 - Silver Quantum
Reply -14
(09/04/2013) [-]
giraffes only have sex for the sole purpose of procreation
#73 to #72 - tenthdivine
Reply +9
(09/04/2013) [-]
Did you even read the dude's comment about the gay giraffes?! 90% of the time they're ******* dudes. I don't know for sure but I think they're smart enough to know gay sex doesn't make babies.
#75 to #73 - Silver Quantum
Reply -16
(09/04/2013) [-]
yeah i think the point is they're not smart enough to know that
#79 to #75 - tenthdivine
Reply +9
(09/04/2013) [-]
Or maybe they are smart enough but just prefer butthole *******!
#80 to #79 - Silver Quantum
Reply -14
(09/04/2013) [-]
except giraffes don't have sex for pleasure
#81 to #80 - tenthdivine
Reply +8
(09/04/2013) [-]
Then why the **** are 93% of them performing coitus in a homosexual manner? They're obviously just banging to get their rocks off

so I just had a thought. Giraffes probably have very large genitalia being that penis size is directly related to the size of the animal.... They can't lube that thing up, and anuses don't self-lubricate like vaginae do.... So those gay giraffes are roughing it..... oh god the pain o.o....
#90 to #81 - elyiia
Reply +8
(09/04/2013) [-]
Penis size isn't necessarily related to body size, for example gorrilas which are roughly the same height as humans have far smaller penises.  I don't even know why I know this
Penis size isn't necessarily related to body size, for example gorrilas which are roughly the same height as humans have far smaller penises. I don't even know why I know this
#88 to #81 - sisterblister
Reply +2
(09/04/2013) [-]
actually its quite small its about 1/4 the sizeof a horses
#82 to #81 - Silver Quantum
Reply -12
(09/04/2013) [-]
i'm not entirely sure why that statistic is so high, but the only mammals that have sex for pleasure are humans, dolphins and a couple other species, giraffes not included
#109 to #82 - BerryLicious
Reply +2
(09/04/2013) [-]
We get it, you're a homophobic nut who doesn't believe any creature outside of the ****** up human race is capable of any thought. **** off now, your stupidity is draining my IQ.
#184 to #109 - Silver Quantum
Reply -3
(09/04/2013) [-]
actually it's your own stupidity draining your own iq if you came to the conclusion i'm homophobic
#87 to #82 - FuckTheWhat
Reply +7
(09/04/2013) [-]
That's been proven false many times since that "fact" was released into the mainstream air.
#65 to #55 - redrex ONLINE
Reply +25
(09/04/2013) [-]
i think they just hump and hump and hump until they find out neither of them have penises
#56 to #55 - areialview
Reply +2
(09/04/2013) [-]
I am quite curious about that as well
#51 to #50 - jellykuba [OP]
Reply +43
(09/04/2013) [-]
You know what? I'm sticking your ****, this made me laugh so much more then it should have.