Animal facts.. All credit goes to writer and artist of chaoslife.findchaos.com... Funny thing about giraffe sex: 90% of it is male-on-male. Almost all giraffes are bisexual, so, considering the 3% that's female-on-female, only 7% of giraffe s Animal facts All credit goes to writer and artist of chaoslife findchaos com Funny thing about giraffe sex: 90% it is male-on-male Almost all giraffes are bisexual so considering the 3% that's female-on-female only 7% s
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#50 - Wumbologist
Reply +333
(09/04/2013) [+] (56 replies)
stickied
Funny thing about giraffe sex: 90% of it is male-on-male. Almost all giraffes are bisexual, so, considering the 3% that's female-on-female, only 7% of giraffe sex is heterosexual. So, like the picture said, male giraffes don't want to waste their time with females (******* gross amirite fellas) unless they're making a baby, so they smack the girl's ass with their heads until they start peeing (If she's really down, she pees a lot). Then the two giraffes engage in coitus for literally seconds so that the female can be impregnated and begin her gestation term of 400 days.
Wish I was making this **** up, people.
#98 to #50 - kidsquicker
Reply +25
(09/04/2013) [-]
Also, they just don't give a **** about one another.
#127 to #50 - pomsidoms
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#167 to #50 - yisumad
Reply 0
(09/04/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#186 to #50 - thomaster
Reply 0
(09/04/2013) [-]
Ow OP...
Ow OP...
#149 to #50 - russiaball
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
how erotic
#159 to #50 - dabronydude
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
as someone who never understands humor, is this based on any fact or this
just a joke?
#178 to #159 - emptysuperman
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
It's all fact.
#179 to #178 - dabronydude
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
well damn, really interesting.
#174 to #50 - jujuthefireking
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
Today children I learned that I am in fact more gay then a giraffe.
#108 to #50 - daentraya
Reply +4
(09/04/2013) [-]
Giraffe love is so romantic
#135 to #50 - dross
Reply +7
(09/04/2013) [-]
#96 to #50 - thatnerdyguy
Reply +8
(09/04/2013) [-]
I knew this was going to be a top-tier comment as soon as I saw "giraffe sex" combined with "I happen to be an expert on this topic."
#130 to #50 - pomsidoms
Reply +10
(09/04/2013) [-]
I'm a Zoologist and i can confirm this fact ^^
They be Nasty
#55 to #50 - dontknowmeatall
Reply +12
(09/04/2013) [-]
I'm afraid to ask but... how is lesbian giraffe sex?
#65 to #55 - redrex ONLINE
Reply +25
(09/04/2013) [-]
i think they just hump and hump and hump until they find out neither of them have penises
#67 to #55 - tenthdivine
Reply +10
(09/04/2013) [-]
Well they have enormous tongues so there's one possibility...
#69 to #67 - Silver Quantum
Reply -9
(09/04/2013) [-]
except they don't engage in oral sex
#70 to #69 - tenthdivine
Reply +8
(09/04/2013) [-]
We don't know that!
#72 to #70 - Silver Quantum
Reply -14
(09/04/2013) [-]
giraffes only have sex for the sole purpose of procreation
#73 to #72 - tenthdivine
Reply +9
(09/04/2013) [-]
Did you even read the dude's comment about the gay giraffes?! 90% of the time they're ******* dudes. I don't know for sure but I think they're smart enough to know gay sex doesn't make babies.
#75 to #73 - Silver Quantum
Reply -16
(09/04/2013) [-]
yeah i think the point is they're not smart enough to know that
#79 to #75 - tenthdivine
Reply +9
(09/04/2013) [-]
Or maybe they are smart enough but just prefer butthole *******!
#80 to #79 - Silver Quantum
Reply -14
(09/04/2013) [-]
except giraffes don't have sex for pleasure
#81 to #80 - tenthdivine
Reply +8
(09/04/2013) [-]
Then why the **** are 93% of them performing coitus in a homosexual manner? They're obviously just banging to get their rocks off

so I just had a thought. Giraffes probably have very large genitalia being that penis size is directly related to the size of the animal.... They can't lube that thing up, and anuses don't self-lubricate like vaginae do.... So those gay giraffes are roughing it..... oh god the pain o.o....
#90 to #81 - elyiia
Reply +8
(09/04/2013) [-]
Penis size isn't necessarily related to body size, for example gorrilas which are roughly the same height as humans have far smaller penises.  I don't even know why I know this
Penis size isn't necessarily related to body size, for example gorrilas which are roughly the same height as humans have far smaller penises. I don't even know why I know this
#88 to #81 - sisterblister
Reply +2
(09/04/2013) [-]
actually its quite small its about 1/4 the sizeof a horses
#82 to #81 - Silver Quantum
Reply -12
(09/04/2013) [-]
i'm not entirely sure why that statistic is so high, but the only mammals that have sex for pleasure are humans, dolphins and a couple other species, giraffes not included
#87 to #82 - FuckTheWhat ONLINE
Reply +7
(09/04/2013) [-]
That's been proven false many times since that "fact" was released into the mainstream air.
#109 to #82 - BerryLicious
Reply +2
(09/04/2013) [-]
We get it, you're a homophobic nut who doesn't believe any creature outside of the ****** up human race is capable of any thought. **** off now, your stupidity is draining my IQ.
#184 to #109 - Silver Quantum
Reply -3
(09/04/2013) [-]
actually it's your own stupidity draining your own iq if you came to the conclusion i'm homophobic
#56 to #55 - areialview
Reply +2
(09/04/2013) [-]
I am quite curious about that as well
#99 to #50 - Ihazfunkitty
Reply +18
(09/04/2013) [-]
we should trust this guy, hes a wumbologist
#84 to #50 - tacogrenade
Reply +21
(09/04/2013) [-]
Are you saying that all giraffes originated in San Francisco ??
#71 to #50 - jacofhearts
Reply +2
(09/04/2013) [-]
VlogBrothers did a video on that!
#76 to #71 - waterbottlemanboy
Reply +4
(09/04/2013) [-]
John taught me Elephants could rule the world if they didn't take 22 months to give birth to ONE kid.
#191 to #50 - mattdoggy
Reply +3
(09/05/2013) [-]
at first i thought you were a faggot and was sure you were full of crap   
but then i saw your name   
 f-forgive me sempai!
at first i thought you were a faggot and was sure you were full of crap
but then i saw your name
f-forgive me sempai!
#168 to #50 - shrekdurself
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
Giraffes also have long necks so they can say hello to god up in the clouds
#187 to #50 - Welshhobo
Reply +3
(09/04/2013) [-]
#153 to #50 - schrodngrscat
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
I learned all of this from John Green
I learned all of this from John Green
#156 to #153 - learned
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
I hope you find this information very valuable. You better cherish it for the rest of your life.
I hope you find this information very valuable. You better cherish it for the rest of your life.
#157 to #156 - schrodngrscat
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
I will, my friend, because as you know everything I learned I learned from you.
#158 to #157 - learned
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
Correct sentence would of been:   
"I will, my friend, because as you know everything I learned I learned from you, learned."
Correct sentence would of been:
"I will, my friend, because as you know everything I learned I learned from you, learned."
#166 to #158 - schrodngrscat
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
Of course. I apologize, learned. I won't make that mistake again.
#148 to #50 - fecal
Reply +3
(09/04/2013) [-]
Im kinda curious how lesbian giraffe sex would work out
#190 to #148 - skinnypanda
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
They use their horns as dildos.
#192 to #50 - sunnyday
Reply 0
(09/05/2013) [-]
Today, I learned something.

Thank you, Wumbo.
#126 to #50 - Sunset
+3
has deleted their comment [-]
#183 to #50 - mrshrapnel
Reply 0
(09/04/2013) [-]
Now make one of those but about Dolphins, giggles will be had and green thumps will be given.
#169 to #50 - gux
Reply +2
(09/04/2013) [-]
This image has expired
only giraffe related content i have.
(don't ask why)
#128 to #50 - pomsidoms
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#152 to #50 - tailsx
Reply +2
(09/04/2013) [-]
"Mmm...good morning, honey. Oh, yeah, that feels so good. Wha-HEY HEY HEY!! What the hell?!?! You're not the same giraffe from last night! Get outta here!"
#119 to #50 - anon
Reply 0
(09/04/2013) [-]
Would you happen to be a Zoologist?
#124 to #119 - tabarzins
Reply +7
(09/04/2013) [-]
He's a Wumbologist, probably more credible.
#106 to #50 - konradkurze
Reply +2
(09/04/2013) [-]
reminds me of the movie 'gladiator" where some royal guy was raging that the merchant sold him gay giraffes
(was one male and one female but they wouldnt mate so he thought they were gay)
#51 to #50 - jellykuba [OP]
Reply +43
(09/04/2013) [-]
You know what? I'm sticking your ****, this made me laugh so much more then it should have.
#10 - retrochris
Reply +174
(09/03/2013) [-]
someone print it on shirts.
#39 to #10 - berkut
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
And they say there's nothing square shaped in nature, ha.
#29 to #10 - srapture
Reply +3
(09/04/2013) [-]
It's surprisingly rare to see people correctly use the past tense of **** on this site, and I appreciate it. The misuse of "****" as past tense always annoys me more than it really should.
#100 to #29 - dsgbiohazard
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
**** would also be right. It's not like they're never **** again in their life.
#101 to #100 - dsgbiohazard
Reply 0
(09/04/2013) [-]
they'll* /sigh
#97 to #10 - desctmarizate
Reply +5
(09/04/2013) [-]
Here ya go.
#33 - theist
Reply +81
(09/04/2013) [-]
I swear on my life, Sometime, somewhere I will use this.
#38 to #33 - grahamcracker
Reply 0
(09/04/2013) [-]
you just did ;)
#42 to #33 - peanutbraddle
Reply +10
(09/04/2013) [-]
I thought the same thing when I saved this one.
#172 to #42 - confusedasian
Reply 0
(09/04/2013) [-]
I would like to know more on this story.
#185 to #172 - peanutbraddle
Reply 0
(09/04/2013) [-]
I was browsing the 4Chan section one night, and decided that saving this particular line of text could be useful in the future.   
   
I think the story was about how one of these dudes' friends was being a sexist, and after they all left he started masturbating, and a Telemarketer called him, so he did that.
I was browsing the 4Chan section one night, and decided that saving this particular line of text could be useful in the future.

I think the story was about how one of these dudes' friends was being a sexist, and after they all left he started masturbating, and a Telemarketer called him, so he did that.
#150 to #42 - kampi
Reply 0
(09/04/2013) [-]
Same here.
#5 - utasco
Reply +51
(09/03/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#147 to #5 - tacticalhog
Reply 0
(09/04/2013) [-]
Source please?
#45 to #5 - beehoning
Reply +6
(09/04/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#83 to #45 - utasco
Reply +6
(09/04/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#95 to #5 - MrMarioman
Reply +6
(09/04/2013) [-]
in case anyone is curious
What if wild animals ate fast food
#8 - kaeume
Reply +42
(09/03/2013) [-]
Look at that smug face
#107 to #8 - pappysmurf
Reply +2
(09/04/2013) [-]
Yeah... Drink my piss.
#30 - royrogersmcfreely
Reply +37
(09/04/2013) [-]
i though the horse was smoking
#93 to #30 - pokemonstheshiz
Reply 0
(09/04/2013) [-]
I thought he was eating the fence
#34 - avatarsarefornoobs
Reply +32
(09/04/2013) [-]
******* animals man
#41 to #34 - sirbutterballs
Reply +7
(09/04/2013) [-]
I saw a video of an Asian chick shoving an eel up her ass once... Dunno why I find this relevant...
I saw a video of an Asian chick shoving an eel up her ass once... Dunno why I find this relevant...
#105 to #41 - ragnarfag
Reply +1
(09/04/2013) [-]
This was interesting.
#89 to #34 - drunkasaurus
Reply +7
(09/04/2013) [-]
>mayfly
>definitely flys
#21 - mrmontymartin
Reply +19
(09/04/2013) [-]
It's not my piss, but it will have to do.
#68 - tenthdivine
Reply +17
(09/04/2013) [-]
Oh sure when giraffes do it it's called natural, but when I do it I'm some kind of freak....
#102 to #68 - zorororonoa
Reply -1
(09/04/2013) [-]
i feel ya brother
#22 - robotcomander
Reply +14
(09/04/2013) [-]
related starting Rooster Teeth Animated Adventures - Omnibus #3 at 0:46
#173 to #22 - ethiopia
Reply 0
(09/04/2013) [-]
Comment Picture