yes. credit to the user brainiacs.
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Comments(472):

[ 472 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #20 - woodywoodlinson (09/02/2013) [-]
Can I squeegee horizontally outside and vertically inside or will that not work?
#483 to #20 - anon (09/02/2013) [-]
Wouldn't you always think the streaks are on the wrong side?
#432 to #20 - hosl ONLINE (09/02/2013) [-]
nonononononoo

thats how I got my dick stuck in the fan the first time
User avatar #355 to #20 - senseiweasel (09/02/2013) [-]
Only if you don't mind getting your dick caught in the ceiling fan.
#323 to #20 - nightstar (09/02/2013) [-]
Or use newspaper and render this trick obsolete.
User avatar #70 to #20 - thepunchedface (09/02/2013) [-]
Don't do it. I tried doing that and accidentally summoned Mephisto
User avatar #55 to #20 - ugakicka ONLINE (09/02/2013) [-]
I tried it that way. Ended up getting my dick stuck in the lawn mower.
#106 to #20 - anon (09/02/2013) [-]
i tried it once, im still not done cleaning up the blood
User avatar #22 to #20 - cheatmasterjunk (09/02/2013) [-]
This is a common fallacy. You will forever be tricked into thinking that the streaks are on the other side, and will be stuck in a cleaning paradox for the rest of time.
User avatar #23 to #22 - woodywoodlinson (09/02/2013) [-]
I suppose a cleaning paradox would be a bit of a bother.
#462 to #58 - jokersaysamuseme (09/02/2013) [-]
**jokersaysamuseme rolled a random image posted in comment #66013 at Slice of Life thread 3 ** Listen to him, he's right.
User avatar #110 to #58 - olisaurus ONLINE (09/02/2013) [-]
omg now I can eat oreos
#47 - pavasiv (09/02/2013) [-]
They probably told us the chap stick one twice so we wouldn't get confused.
#81 - stagger (09/02/2013) [-]
Tall people don't like being reminded that they're tall?   
Well 			****		.   
   
What about us rather petite folk? Hmmm?    
Think I like being reminded that I'm legal drinking age in the US but still have to look up to my 14 year old brother?   
You think I like using a step stool to look in the top cabinets?   
Can you imagine what it smells like down here?   
   
I'm always kind of in awe of tall folk.... Is it really a bad thing? I've climbed mountains but never a tall person.   
I have dreams people.
Tall people don't like being reminded that they're tall?
Well **** .

What about us rather petite folk? Hmmm?
Think I like being reminded that I'm legal drinking age in the US but still have to look up to my 14 year old brother?
You think I like using a step stool to look in the top cabinets?
Can you imagine what it smells like down here?

I'm always kind of in awe of tall folk.... Is it really a bad thing? I've climbed mountains but never a tall person.
I have dreams people.
User avatar #496 to #81 - ignislel (09/03/2013) [-]
It's not a bad thing, I'm 6'5'' and 195 m and I am really proud of being tall, and I like it when people tell me I'm tall. I like how you almost never look up to somebody, people just look up to you :>
User avatar #442 to #81 - pooflinger (09/02/2013) [-]
The .gif is particularly relevant.
User avatar #446 to #442 - stagger (09/02/2013) [-]
I find I relate to Edward on some levels.
We're short. Short tempered. Our little brothers are bigger than us. We're both alchemists.
#488 to #446 - pooflinger (09/02/2013) [-]
I see.
I see.
User avatar #381 to #81 - brendantheferret (09/02/2013) [-]
My best friend is 6'6" and I'm 5'9"

**** sucks
User avatar #382 to #381 - stagger (09/02/2013) [-]
How does it suck? ;o

User avatar #385 to #382 - brendantheferret (09/02/2013) [-]
I hate having to constantly look up at him. That and he constantly mocks me for being shorter
User avatar #388 to #385 - stagger (09/02/2013) [-]
You're not short though. At least not in my book. I'm 5'.

I get cricks in my neck from talking to people taller than me. Which unless it's children, they're usually taller than me.
User avatar #389 to #388 - brendantheferret (09/02/2013) [-]
Now I have perspective in life
#356 to #81 - anon (09/02/2013) [-]
You sound like a friend of mine. She is really small and I'm around 6 foot 3. She climbs me all the time. Normally at concerts when she gets on my shoulders. However, I have no idea why I'm telling you this. Being tall is awesome and I kind of like to be reminded of it. Have a good day.
User avatar #100 to #81 - vatra (09/02/2013) [-]
You want to climb tall people? Have at it deary.
User avatar #103 to #81 - pikininja (09/02/2013) [-]
My friend is 5'9" and hates it. She says she feels like an "amazon woman" and has a hard time finding guys taller than her.
#181 to #103 - anon (09/02/2013) [-]
That's... Odd. Most of my friends are taller than 5'9" the tallest of my friends is 6'3" and I'm 6'0" the only girl I know who gets crap for being tall is taller than me.
User avatar #315 to #103 - dafuqmang ONLINE (09/02/2013) [-]
That's....kind of hot. Most girls are like 5'4"/5'6" so like 5 inches shorter than me.
#393 to #81 - beyond (09/02/2013) [-]
I'm 6'4" and weigh 207lbs and I see where you're coming from, but how many people come up to you every time you see them and say "Wow! You're short!"? Being tall has positives and negatives. Not everything in this world was made for us. Most seats are too short to be comfortable for me without slouching, I hit my ******* head on too many things, I have a really ****** center of balance, etc..

However, I don't need a ladder/stepstool when most other people would, Most people won't mess with me because of my height, and being able to see over everyone in a crowd is nice.

The most annoying thing for me though is exactly what this content said. When people come up to me and say "Wow, you're tall! I wish I could be as tall as you." is just annoying. It's flattering the first couple times, but every time we meet gets very old very quickly.
User avatar #397 to #393 - stagger (09/02/2013) [-]
Hey to each their own. People generally mistake me for a child, so I'm not often called short, unless by friends. Being short has positives and negatives too.

Well, duly noted. I will make sure not to remark upon your height ever good sir.

I think if people told me, "Wow you're short, I wish I could be as short as you!" I'd take it as a compliment. I'm used to short jokes and snide comments. I don't get compliments on my height, unless it's something perverted about how I'm perfect height for blowing someone.
I don't know. I'm kind of insecure with myself, but I'd rather take a compliment then be annoyed by how often I get it.
#130 to #81 - xXneoXx (09/02/2013) [-]
Well I'm 6'3" and weigh 145lbs, so not only am I tall, but being skinny really makes me look taller. On one hand, girls seem to like tall guys, so thats cool. I can see over most crowds, and over the people at movie theaters. On the other hand, most beds are too short to sleep straight, airplane rides are super uncomfortable, I can't fit in most sports cars comfortably, or in the back of most cars. I also have to lean down to wash my hair in the shower, and I hit my hands on the ceiling fan while stretching all the time.

So I suppose its pretty sweet. Pic related
User avatar #178 to #130 - biggydy (09/02/2013) [-]
Oh god i hate not being able to fit in the back seats of cars. Sometimes i wish i was smaller, but then i remember all the cool things about being tall and everything is fine.
#380 to #130 - stagger (09/02/2013) [-]
Well I'm 5' and weigh 116lbs, so not only am I short, but being skinny doesn't do 			****		 for my height. On one hand, guys seem to like short girls, so that's cool. I can't see over 			****		, but can worm through crowds, and under people at movie theaters. On the other hand, children's beds aren't too short, I fit in the overhead baggage on airplane rides, and have a hard time reaching the pedals in sports cars. I also wash my hair just fine, and would need a trampoline to hit my ceiling fan.   
   
So I suppose I'm pretty short. Owl gif.    
   
   
I couldn't resist. Being tall has it's benefits, as does being short. But what's the weather like up there?
Well I'm 5' and weigh 116lbs, so not only am I short, but being skinny doesn't do **** for my height. On one hand, guys seem to like short girls, so that's cool. I can't see over **** , but can worm through crowds, and under people at movie theaters. On the other hand, children's beds aren't too short, I fit in the overhead baggage on airplane rides, and have a hard time reaching the pedals in sports cars. I also wash my hair just fine, and would need a trampoline to hit my ceiling fan.

So I suppose I'm pretty short. Owl gif.


I couldn't resist. Being tall has it's benefits, as does being short. But what's the weather like up there?
#492 to #380 - xXneoXx (09/03/2013) [-]
Haha see, theres always pros and cons. I think generally its better if your tall if your a dude, and short if your a.. um, dudette?
User avatar #493 to #492 - stagger (09/03/2013) [-]
There really is. Well I'm a short dudette, and I really wouldn't mind being a bit taller.

I can still shop in the girls department at most stores and it does kinda bother me.
User avatar #346 to #130 - srskate (09/02/2013) [-]
6'3 master race

I can actually deal with being in the back seats of cars, because I am the youngest of three children and I always had to sit in the back seat.
#275 to #130 - tittentei (09/02/2013) [-]
I guess girls like tall boys, but being tall and skinny can make things easily awkward. Like giraffe and **** . Your BMI is like 18, aswell, and I don't think most girls like that kind of skinny unless it's some kind of fetish. Personally I am 6'4", 190lbs (193cm and 86kg), and wanna bulk another 20lbs (9kg).

Pic related, W. Klitschko. Goddamn, I would like to get on his level. Like 6'6" and 240lbs.
#491 to #275 - xXneoXx (09/02/2013) [-]
Yeah, I am pretty much like a giraffe and **** lol. I don't think they do either, but theres not much I can do about it. I've been eating like, 3000 calories a day for like, ten years now and haven't gained a pound. I'd like to gain another 20-30 pounds, but thats seriously a lot to gain in a short time. Oh well..

Pic related, I drive the same type of clown car.
#236 - leec (09/02/2013) [-]
MFW I decide to smile at a girl when I see her looking
#74 - alucord (09/02/2013) [-]
just smile at the girl.   
   
She might think im a nice guy
just smile at the girl.

She might think im a nice guy
User avatar #252 to #74 - jiggerbits (09/02/2013) [-]
That's rather...Nauuuuuuuuuughty.
#157 to #74 - dermustang (09/02/2013) [-]
that pic wasn't a pic
#90 to #74 - Dagoron (09/02/2013) [-]
SWEET ******* CHRIST IT MOVED!
#105 - returnofarjay (09/02/2013) [-]
As a McDonald's employee, **** people that order fries without salt. Slows everybody down and is generally frustrating.
User avatar #429 to #105 - wtfduud (09/02/2013) [-]
Besides, who eats chips without salt? Saltless chips just aren't worth it.
User avatar #480 to #477 - wtfduud (09/02/2013) [-]
That means fries in britfaggish.
#484 to #480 - navestotwo (09/02/2013) [-]
>britfaggish
User avatar #404 to #105 - CurlySuee (09/02/2013) [-]
Getting stupid orders is frustrating as hell too, I made a bigmac with no meat then in the same order they asked for just 2 chicken patties in a box... weird **** .
#60 - redclover (09/02/2013) [-]
don't be a pussy, just ask for them fresh and tell them you don't mind waiting
you'd have to wait for the no salt anyway
if you tell them you don't mind waiting, they'll be a lot more cooperative
User avatar #271 to #60 - ugoboom ONLINE (09/02/2013) [-]
At the wendy's I work at, they also will make you a fresh batch if you ask for it. But don't be a whore and order it that way through the drive thru.
#274 to #60 - anon (09/02/2013) [-]
Having worked fast food before, we hated those assholes. We get timed on our service and you asking for a whole new basket of fries wastes our time and store money. if you want no salt, a bag of french fries cot three dollars at wal mart. make them yourself.
User avatar #227 to #60 - hanabro (09/02/2013) [-]
Why would you want fries without salt anyway? Sounds really gross.
#139 to #60 - rdobet (09/02/2013) [-]
What's hilarious is that my dad tried to show me this like 8 years ago. They just shook off some of the salt before putting it in
User avatar #75 to #60 - curveball (09/02/2013) [-]
Don't do this at a drive thru: everyone behind you now has to wait for a fresh batch to be made as well. Go inside the store if you're going to do it: the whole point of a drive thru is that it's faster, don't ruin that for other people.
User avatar #95 to #75 - teh lazer lawd ONLINE (09/02/2013) [-]
******* . THIS.
User avatar #255 to #75 - redclover (09/02/2013) [-]
or they pull you up into a parking spot and have an employee run it out to you
#15 - adu (09/01/2013) [-]
The people advice here is actually very useful.  But please check for duplicates before submitting.
The people advice here is actually very useful. But please check for duplicates before submitting.
User avatar #68 - siridontcare (09/02/2013) [-]
Don't you mean chop sticks?
#56 - swiggityswooty (09/02/2013) [-]
of course a duck would say the bread and butter one.
User avatar #5 - whenallelsefails (09/01/2013) [-]
I love these, and I always find it funny that it's duck.
#4 - selfrazedzealot (09/01/2013) [-]
tried the first one right away. the tab opened with the title "yes" exactly as i said yes in accomplishment
#144 - zionsype (09/02/2013) [-]
Hooray, now I have **** tasting fries that are just slightly fresher than the normal good tasting ones.
User avatar #310 to #144 - sanguinesolitude (09/02/2013) [-]
besides when at an american fast food restaurant are they going to serve you old fries? heck when are they going to have old fries.
User avatar #156 to #144 - kirisaki (09/02/2013) [-]
Add your own salt?
#125 - niggerflip (09/02/2013) [-]
What if your chapstick gets a papercut?
#132 to #125 - funnyguyz (09/02/2013) [-]
Then it will heal itself instantly. Duh!
Then it will heal itself instantly. Duh!
User avatar #472 to #132 - nuclearpopcorn (09/02/2013) [-]
Actually, the chap stick just won't be in pain.
User avatar #336 to #326 - whycanticaps (09/02/2013) [-]
idk but i read that as ducks like pond at the end
#269 - morgothse (09/02/2013) [-]
#6 makes me rage so hard, you could not be a manipulative ego-mongerer and just ask for fresh fries, but no, you just have to be so 			*******		 clever with your self-satisfied smirk cause you "cheated the system". well guess what? you 			*******		 didn't, we can't just reheat the old fries in the oil due to the carbon build-up that would result from putting salt in the fryers. So just order some fresh fries like a 			*******		 adult.   
   
mfw a customer asks for salt packets to put on their fries that were ordered with no salt   
<------------------------------------------------------------------------   
   
Also, public ranting feels good.
#6 makes me rage so hard, you could not be a manipulative ego-mongerer and just ask for fresh fries, but no, you just have to be so ******* clever with your self-satisfied smirk cause you "cheated the system". well guess what? you ******* didn't, we can't just reheat the old fries in the oil due to the carbon build-up that would result from putting salt in the fryers. So just order some fresh fries like a ******* adult.

mfw a customer asks for salt packets to put on their fries that were ordered with no salt
<------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also, public ranting feels good.
User avatar #313 to #269 - noisia (09/02/2013) [-]
You could ask for fresh fries at a large chain restaurant like McDonalds cos the staff there don't give a **** , but I asked for them once in a kebab shop and they owner got offended and started shouting "They are fresh. Everything is always fresh here!" even though that was clearly a lie.
User avatar #316 to #269 - redclover (09/02/2013) [-]
just tell them "we're out of salt packets" and start getting the next order ready
that's what I tell my employees to do
haven't had a customer ask for salt packets afterwards in almost a year because they know they won't get them
User avatar #418 to #416 - brainiacs (09/02/2013) [-]
Also, thanks homoboe for noticing!
User avatar #445 to #416 - phantomcrest (09/02/2013) [-]
sorry, i didnt know the link but i did credit you in the description
User avatar #421 to #416 - personone (09/02/2013) [-]
In the description, it reads "credit to the user brainiacs"
User avatar #422 to #421 - brainiacs (09/02/2013) [-]
Welp, that is what I get for scrolling too much on this on mobile.
#369 - isus (09/02/2013) [-]
What do I do if I want to get even more drunk at parties?

**** you duck, what do I do!?
User avatar #427 to #369 - tendividedbysix (09/02/2013) [-]
Best way to get trashed as buggary-chops? Donate blood before you go drinking. I had ONE Guinness about an hour after I'd just donated blood and I got really tipsy, 2 and I was on the floor.
User avatar #485 to #427 - isus (09/02/2013) [-]
Hmm.. I'm not a blood-donating person. Needles are just not my thing. :/ Jesus was a Nazi
User avatar #428 to #427 - tendividedbysix (09/02/2013) [-]
Not that I'm recommending that by the way.
User avatar #377 to #369 - gangsterish (09/02/2013) [-]
isus used alcohol on an empty stomach!

It's super-effective!
User avatar #379 to #377 - isus (09/02/2013) [-]
Isus fainted.
User avatar #376 to #369 - myaccountisnew (09/02/2013) [-]
Pouring alcohol in your anus bypasses the liver, causing you to get drunk faster. However, because it doesn't go through the liver, your chances of alcohol poisoning sky rockets, and you might die. A safer way is to drink on an empty stomach, for the same reason eating bread makes you get drunk slower.
User avatar #378 to #376 - isus (09/02/2013) [-]
So anus beer it is!
User avatar #370 to #369 - steamloler (09/02/2013) [-]
Instead of sipping on your beer down it quickly you shouldnt have a beer in your hand for more than 2min if youre trying to get drunk
User avatar #417 to #370 - manofbeardliness (09/02/2013) [-]
Of shot-gun it.
User avatar #371 to #370 - isus (09/02/2013) [-]
Thank you, but you're not a duck, are you now?
#373 to #371 - steamloler (09/02/2013) [-]
Duck you too
#383 to #374 - steamloler (09/02/2013) [-]
That band is riduckulous


Not a duck,
Show up in thread anyway
User avatar #384 to #383 - isus (09/02/2013) [-]
But isn't that the socially awesome penguin?
User avatar #386 to #384 - steamloler (09/02/2013) [-]
I was hoping you'd accept him... and then hed be awesome...
#387 to #386 - isus (09/02/2013) [-]
I accept him!
#391 to #387 - steamloler (09/02/2013) [-]
<YFW anus beer
#209 - kaboomz (09/02/2013) [-]
This image has expired
theres alot of helpful tips here

thanks op
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