/b/. . Things that you are ashamed I' ll start: About half an hour ago, I faded- Sitting at my computer as I do most ofthe time, this is something Ne grown used
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/b/

Things that you are ashamed
I' ll start:
About half an hour ago, I faded- Sitting at my computer as I do most ofthe time, this is something Ne grown used
to, but this fart really ******* stank- Seriously, it was like eleven dead animals with **** mixed in. I was sick and
tired of having farts smell SC) terrible. But did I do what the sensible person would do, and get up and wait fer it to
disperse, perhaps taking with me the resolution to change my diet to better influence my smells? No, I did not. I
took what I considered to be the alternative mute.
I stuck a mint up my ass.
leisured that, since it dissolves in saliva, my ass would server a hairjob redissolving it, thus lining the end of my colon with a nice minty extract and making
my farts the kind that grills would like to make out with. Somwhere along the line, however, I apparently didn' t work out the whythe dissolved mint would be
absorbed into the walls.
Anyway, around 20 minutes passed, and I had to fart again. Being ofa scientific mind, I decided this would be where I' d prove my hypothesis, SC) I
let her rip.
Oh god. It wasn' t a fart. It was a ******* butt sneeze.
The mint had been dissolved, that much was clear. But what was left was mixed with **** , and it was all sver my boxers and running down my
leg as I ran to the bathroom. I cleaned up my boxers as best i could, scrubbed my leg, and tossed the underwear in the wash. So overall an embarrassing
experience, and sne I wouldn' t want to relive.
However, it was worth the noting:
That **** jelly smelled ******* aweosme.
oh dear god-.
Elly)
...
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Views: 34020
Favorited: 73
Submitted: 08/31/2013
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Comments(100):

[ 100 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#3 - echobase (08/31/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#38 - hamsterball (09/01/2013) [-]
it's not from /b/ but it is funny.
User avatar #44 to #38 - jesusthegardener (09/01/2013) [-]
that was ******* hilarious
User avatar #63 to #38 - theshadowed ONLINE (09/01/2013) [-]
I'm sitting there laughing my ass off and wondering why Prussia?
User avatar #47 to #38 - taxation (09/01/2013) [-]
Due to extensive research done by the University of Pittsburgh, diamond has been confirmed as the hardest metal known to man. The research is as follows.
Pocket-protected scientists built a wall of iron and crashed a diamond car into it at 400 miles per hour, and the car was unharmed.
They then built a wall out of diamond and crashed a car made of iron moving at 400 miles an hour into the wall, and the wall came out fine.
They then crashed a diamond car made of 400 miles per hour into a wall, and there were no survivors.
They crashed 400 miles per hour into a diamond traveling at iron car. Western New York was powerless for hours.
They rammed a wall of metal into a 400 mile per hour made of diamond, and the resulting explosion shifted the earth's orbit 400 million miles away from the sun, saving the earth from a meteor the size of a small Washington suburb that was hurtling towards mid-western Prussia at 400 billion miles per hour.
They shot a diamond made of iron at a car moving at 400 walls per hour, and as a result caused two wayward airplanes to lose track of their bearings, and make a fatal crash with two buildings in downtown New York.
They spun 400 miles at diamond into iron per wall. The results were inconclusive. Finally, they placed 400 diamonds per hour in front of a car made of wall traveling at miles per iron, and the result proved without a doubt that diamonds were the hardest metal of all time, if not just the hardest metal known to man.

Now copypastable as well!
#66 to #38 - crosskill (09/01/2013) [-]
>"The results were inconclusive"
#25 - unclejungle (09/01/2013) [-]
Try to dump my dagblasted 4chan collection.
#26 to #25 - unclejungle (09/01/2013) [-]
Seeing as I have literally have over 10,000, that isn't happening.
#34 to #33 - unclejungle (09/01/2013) [-]
Ah this one is really good. Definitely worth the read.
User avatar #62 to #34 - newbrony (09/01/2013) [-]
IT'S NOT FINISHED

I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS

SEND HELP
User avatar #65 to #34 - aherorising (09/01/2013) [-]
where's the rest?
User avatar #74 to #65 - unclejungle (09/01/2013) [-]
This is as close to a master copy as I found of this. There are three versions of it. So it's a bit of a scavenger hunt.
#51 - vladhellsing ONLINE (09/01/2013) [-]
#64 - John Cena (09/01/2013) [-]
I lost it at butt sneeze, havent stopped laughing yet
User avatar #70 to #64 - ronsha ONLINE (09/01/2013) [-]
me either
User avatar #60 - randomwanker (09/01/2013) [-]
I like how my farts smell
User avatar #69 to #60 - fuzzyballs (09/01/2013) [-]
I like how your farts smell too
User avatar #50 - Pestilence ONLINE (09/01/2013) [-]
I've been laughing at "butt sneeze" for a good five minutes now. Holy **** .
#12 - prophecydt (09/01/2013) [-]
I completely lost it at "butt sneeze". Had me laughing for 5 minutes straight.
#7 - stimtheone (08/31/2013) [-]
Disgusting and horryfying, but that last sentence cracked me up.
User avatar #49 - happytimesfome (09/01/2013) [-]
hay guys quick question why cant I post any pics
#48 - shitposting (09/01/2013) [-]
*******		 butt sneeze
******* butt sneeze
#46 - astrozombies **User deleted account** (09/01/2013) [-]
god damn butt sneeze
god damn butt sneeze
#45 - socalpunk ONLINE (09/01/2013) [-]
I have not laughed this hard on FunnyJunk in so 			*******		 long. The 			*******		 butt sneeze comment made my god damn day. Thank you random 4chan asshole.
I have not laughed this hard on FunnyJunk in so ******* long. The ******* butt sneeze comment made my god damn day. Thank you random 4chan asshole.
#24 - PublicEnemy (09/01/2013) [-]
Lost it at "It wasn't a fart. It was a 			*******		 butt sneeze."
Lost it at "It wasn't a fart. It was a ******* butt sneeze."
#23 - kingbulbasaur (09/01/2013) [-]
"Being of a scientific mind, I decided this would be where I'd prove or disprove my hypothesis"
Oh lol, you guys
#22 - pedopigglet (09/01/2013) [-]
" **** jelly"
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