Flaming penis. . Horny? Hallow out a jalapeno and slide your Items inside. A halalling is the same and texture as a vagina and will teal amazing. So let me get this straight, you're telling me to have sex with a hollowpeno hi
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[ 319 comments ]
> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
#41 - anon id: 9ff797f4
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [+] (55 replies)
stickied
typing this form the hospie.
**** you
User avatar #144 to #41 - ButtChocolate
Reply -69 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
100 thumbs for a misspelled ******** story.....Wtf funnyjunk
#184 to #144 - jakedertree
Reply +30 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#218 to #144 - silverhellion
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
Comment Picture


User avatar #146 to #144 - zorororonoa
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
hes an anon so it isn't like it benefits an account. nobody cares if he gets thumbs
User avatar #147 to #146 - ButtChocolate
Reply -21 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
that doesn't revoke the ridiculousness of the fact that 100+ people thought what he said was so funny they would write a captcha
User avatar #152 to #147 - mylazy
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
You caught the whole idea right there. No one cares whether it was real or not, they thought it was funny. Forgive me if I am wrong, but you are suppose to thumb funny things up.
User avatar #153 to #147 - jazzyshazm
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
i don't have to put in a captcha
User avatar #151 to #147 - nephis
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
just thumbed him. doesn't need a captcha
User avatar #247 to #147 - kcits
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
Jokes don't have to be true stories.
#221 to #144 - liquidz
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
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User avatar #302 to #221 - MrBlak
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
Knowing all who saw this .gif scrolling down waited it out to see the end screamed out "****!" once it was through.
User avatar #226 to #221 - themassivefail
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
Oh god this actually cracked me up XD
User avatar #274 to #226 - annand
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
XXDDDDxDxDDXDDDDDDD
User avatar #158 to #144 - tankthejackal
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
because it's funny
User avatar #275 to #144 - Marshmallowz
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
hahahh -50 for you. and once again fj prevails
User avatar #249 to #144 - dagreatmax
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
Who cares about the spelling of some words, as long as you understand it. I come on the internet to chill out from school or work, I do write quite well but that's because I got used to it.
#268 to #249 - arthless
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
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#239 to #144 - superbrowntoastxxx
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
#312 to #239 - clothmonster
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
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User avatar #319 to #312 - superbrowntoastxxx
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
Ooooooo thanks
#44 to #41 - anon id: 1640aa3e
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
That **** is your own damn fault. This is a much better metaphor than the "if someone told you to jump off a cliff would you do it" thing.
For future reference, if someone tells you to put your dick in a jalapeno, let alone any spicy pepper, don't ******* do it
User avatar #137 to #44 - mrhazzy
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
Almost sounds like you are talking from experience...
#51 to #44 - anon id: 904b1b49
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
fuk u ***** dont tell me how to live my life yolo swag *****
#207 to #41 - anon id: 62e03243
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
ASIANS CAN ACTUALLY READ MINDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They can hear, and see what you're visually thinking. This is the absolute complete truth!!!!!

The reason a lot of Asians have completely expressionless faces is so they don't accidentally show facial expressions when people think things they don't like, find funny, astonishing, etc, and Asians segregate so they’re not nearly as susceptible to that happening.
Asians also segregate, and are untalkative to avoid accidentally saying things that are similar to what people are thinking and going to say.

Try thinking, and visually picturing things that are as wild as you can when you are around Asians, and look for Asians who give people dirty/particular looks for what appears to be for completely no reason.

PLEASE SPREAD THE MESSAGE!!!!! THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW THIS!!!!!
#250 to #207 - rustiphor
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
User avatar #254 to #250 - animedudej
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
why have i not seen one where it says "Show me your dick" with OP written on her face?
User avatar #292 to #207 - fakemaps
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
stop that **** dude, its not even funny
#212 to #207 - fullmetaloptimist
Reply -6 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
Hey! Guess what? Nobody cares.
User avatar #251 to #41 - yorker
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
God dammit what a waste of green thumbs.
User avatar #283 to #251 - vatra
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
Not like their is a limit on the amount that can be handed out.. So it isn't possible to be a waste.
User avatar #257 to #41 - emyris
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
Well, now you've learned never to trust the internet....
User avatar #64 to #41 - scilla
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
IT'S EVEN ******* TITLED FLAMING PENIS
#261 to #41 - ellenrimbauer
Reply +17 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
If you were wearing the proper protection while attempting this you would have made an awesome weapon.
User avatar #286 to #261 - shinyarmor
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
you clever dally-er
#287 to #286 - ellenrimbauer
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #288 to #287 - shinyarmor
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
prepare for thumbs, this is a perfect evil scheme.
#290 to #288 - ellenrimbauer
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
I'm sorry, but I'm just not following what you mean..
I'm sorry, but I'm just not following what you mean..
#315 to #290 - shinyarmor
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
do you even know? if people love you, you feel loved.  prepare for love
do you even know? if people love you, you feel loved. prepare for love
#320 to #315 - ellenrimbauer
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
Alright... I will prepare.
Alright... I will prepare.
#269 to #41 - jrondeau **User deleted account**
Reply +19 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
#305 to #269 - nimithecat
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
Gentlemen.. gentlemen... obviously you are missing technique.
To use the jalapeno as a fleshlight, you need to wear a condom so that the spicyness doesn't burn you.
With a condom in place, and your penis in the "fire place", your pleasures will reach beyond the heavens till you're in a higher place.


#83 to #41 - sirbutterballs
Reply +34 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
I really hope your not lying anon
#149 to #41 - deckbox
Reply +54 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
i was makign a curry with some hot ass peppers, went for a piss.........................

mdw
#85 to #41 - fuckedbyapony
Reply +59 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
Scary how people believe you..
User avatar #105 to #85 - thedarkestrogue
Reply +77 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
do you really think people would do that?
Just go on the internet and tell lies?
#106 to #105 - fuckedbyapony
Reply +51 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
Well now you mention it, it's probably true
#259 to #105 - betastory
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
Take this
User avatar #240 to #105 - niggastolemyname
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
hey look both of these comments have beutiful thumbs dubs
let me fix that
User avatar #181 to #85 - snowshark
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
I'd argue that a big part of comedy is the suspension of disbelief.

Whilst I don't think he actually did that, it is much funnier to imagine that he did.
User avatar #190 to #181 - psyachu
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
This man deserves an honorary PhD in comedy.
#205 to #190 - snowshark
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
Whilst I do agree with you (and honestly I could probably get one on my own, if they existed) there's much more to the science of comedy than just the suspension of disbelief.

(I call it SoD's Law.)

Still, you're too kind.
#252 to #205 - animedudej
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
HEY ENGLAND! WHY DONT YOU JOIN US! THIS IS BLISS!!!!1
#255 to #252 - snowshark
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
Oooh yes! We'll call it "Cultural exchange" and claim it on benefits!
#323 to #255 - animedudej
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
fuk yiss
#231 to #85 - mossycabbages
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
If he was lying he wouldn't have gone anon.
#303 - bobthebean [OP]
Reply +19 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [+] (1 reply)
stickied
What the **** is wrong with you guys. Do 7 different people need to say "Directions unclear, got my dick stuck in a ceiling fan"
User avatar #328 to #303 - deadadventurer
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(08/29/2013) [-]
It's called thumbwhoring. FJ likes the joke so it's gonna be reposted into oblivion.
#8 - inediblefetus
Reply -150 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
where would you find a 12 inch jalapeno
User avatar #10 to #8 - ZeGerman
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
At a grocery store?
#202 to #8 - anon id: a8e3fd9e
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
for your boyfriend, I presume?
#307 to #8 - bobthebean [OP]
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
I'm sorry, I feel responsible for this.
#309 to #307 - inediblefetus
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
just internet thumbs man, i couldnt care less. though we did get a couple of interesting responses as a result of it.
#310 to #309 - bobthebean [OP]
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
Eh, it still sucks though. You can't thumb people anymore.
#32 to #8 - blbrian
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
User avatar #68 to #8 - snaresinger
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
I don't know why everyone thumbed you down. What you said was actually quite witty, it's just that the reply was sharper. The way I see it, you both deserve a few thumbs. But that's Funnyjunk nowadays- if someone replies to you with something clever, you're ******.
#116 to #68 - xnotcreative
Reply -18 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
Uhm... no.

There could have been two things he meant from that.

Women have 12 inch long vaginas or he has a 12 inch long dick.

It can't be the first because the length of a womans vagina is only 3-4 inches until they lose their virginity.

If he's implying his dick is 12 inches, that's still a dick joke. A ******* DICK. JOKE. I know FunnyJunk isn't really for mature humor but for ***** sake, it's a DICK. JOKE...

A down-syndrome child born with fetal alcohol syndrome whos birth was the direct result of a broken condom, failed abortion and incest could make a wittier joke.
User avatar #210 to #116 - opticmonkey
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
Dick jokes are always funny
User avatar #238 to #116 - psykobear
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
The reply was ALSO a dick joke.
Look at the thumbs on it.
User avatar #325 to #116 - snaresinger
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
Like psykobear said. The reply was a dick joke. Maybe the style of joke wasn't original, but the joke itself was, and it had comic validity. The fact that this poor guy got thumbed down for making A JOKE. A. FREAKING. JOKE. on this website is ********. Who cares if it's a dick joke? It's (arguably nowadays) a comedy website. I think dick jokes are some of the funniest ones. The point is, thumbing the first comment down and second one up is hypocrisy.
#281 to #116 - hammerfell
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #14 to #8 - banditowolf
Reply +382 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
on the end of my cock.
#322 to #14 - monkeybrains
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
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User avatar #295 to #14 - thepandaking
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
just on the end? ****, man.
#279 to #14 - anon id: f56de560
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
I can't applaud this enough
#113 to #14 - ripgeckosncherios
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
you sir,
are a genius amongst man
#31 to #14 - anon id: bfde9ea7
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
*applause*
User avatar #57 - Loppytaffy
Reply +26 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
My thighs shut tight at the thought of that...

And I don't even have a penis.
User avatar #203 to #57 - merrymarvelite
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
You don't need to hollow out the jalapeño, then.
#78 to #57 - raidenkanya
Reply +175 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
No worries, I can give you one.
#95 to #78 - Loppytaffy
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
User avatar #217 to #78 - asianizer
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
Master of romance.
#94 to #78 - nocknockcomein
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
Have my children.
User avatar #199 to #94 - raidenkanya
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
Sure thing, just shout out my mating call and we can go deeper than ever before.
#244 to #199 - nocknockcomein
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
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#253 to #199 - dagreatmax
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
User avatar #88 to #78 - pedocade
Reply -5 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
win 100 time over, u sir are a boss
#97 - TurtleOnItsBack
Reply +171 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
So let me get this straight, you're telling me to have sex with a  hollowpeno
So let me get this straight, you're telling me to have sex with a hollowpeno
#139 to #97 - yoh **User deleted account**
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
#140 to #97 - floopdawhoop
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
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#222 to #97 - smeckles
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
you bastard
you bastard
#166 to #97 - hillbillypowpow
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#100 to #97 - mrawesomepotato
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
shut up
shut up
#101 to #100 - TurtleOnItsBack
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
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#2 - seemerollin
Reply +81 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
How the hell would anyone fit their penis in that? if you can do that i feel bad for you son.
#17 to #2 - anon id: 31e95b26
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
My home grown Jalapenõ's are around 17cm (6.69inch) long and 13(5.11) in diameter so that could homage pretty many penises according to www.howlongismyschlong.com
User avatar #18 to #2 - Gaulli
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
Well there is always inserting it while floppy then getting hard I guess,
#36 to #2 - hbk
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
I got 99 problems but a tiny dick ain't one.
#27 - muffintime
Reply +70 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
it would be just like ******* a ginger!

fire crotch
User avatar #34 to #27 - bench
Reply -17 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
are you like 12 years old?
#46 to #34 - iowndemostest
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
Found the ginger.
#45 to #34 - anon id: 1640aa3e
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
Are you? **** you, that was funny.
#47 to #27 - mygfspillow
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
I have never heard this stereo type. Someone explain please.
User avatar #53 to #47 - Jesusnipples
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
Ever heard the expression, "the carpet matches the drapes?"
#273 to #53 - cryoshock
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
User avatar #243 to #53 - niggastolemyname
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
**** i never got that one
#54 to #53 - mygfspillow
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
ohhh... hahah. THanks.
#298 to #27 - blackmanrollipolli
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
#117 - willindor
Reply +47 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
#50 - pappathethird
Reply +33 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
#7 - akumamika **User deleted account**
Reply +32 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
With the bonus of experiencing gonorrhea with the burning while you're weeing and the oh got it BURNS!
User avatar #263 to #7 - theexplodingcheez
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
did anyone NOT read that in his voice?
#142 - vissova
Reply +27 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
You ruined it with the title

You ******* idiot.
User avatar #150 to #142 - kyoutu
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(08/27/2013) [-]
Nobody will fall for this, it's a joke.

You ******* idiot.
#160 to #150 - Dwarf
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
**Dwarf rolled a random image posted in comment #5674882 at Admin's personal trolling board. **
User avatar #282 to #142 - hammerfell
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
>reading title before content

it's always
content
desc
tags
title

always
#237 to #142 - bobthebean [OP]
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(08/28/2013) [-]
I know, I realized my mistake too late. But then again, some people don't read the title.