5 Life hacks. Some tips for you to use, not made by me.. Life Hack Thirsty? Every restaurant in the US is required to give you free tap water. Just ask! Life Ha tips Lifehacks
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5 Life hacks

5 Life hacks. Some tips for you to use, not made by me.. Life Hack Thirsty? Every restaurant in the US is required to give you free tap water. Just ask! Life Ha

Some tips for you to use, not made by me.

Life Hack
Thirsty? Every restaurant in the US is
required to give you free tap water.
Just ask!
Life Hack tta
Mess with telemarketers! Some aren' t
allowed to hang up, so answer the call,
take a shower, have a snack, then say
no thanks"
Life Hack .
If you' re going to a ZOO, wear the same
colors as the employees do The animals
will come right up to you instead of
backing away.
Life Hack
C) utting onions? (C) gurra You
won' t tear up
...
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Views: 45107
Favorited: 155
Submitted: 08/26/2013
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Comments(138):

[ 138 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#4 - Hightower ONLINE (08/26/2013) [-]
Let the telemarketer go through the entire spiel. When they get to a point in their script that they pause to wait for your answer say "Don't stop, I'm almost there. "
They hang up quiiiiiiiiiiiick.
User avatar #100 to #4 - buttholee (08/27/2013) [-]
But say it out of breath like
#28 to #4 - arrowshock (08/27/2013) [-]
The same telemarketers used to spam my house phone daily, so one day, my dad decided to start acting like he was having phone sex with the lady on the other end. She sassed like hell at him, but after that, they never called back.
User avatar #20 - Onemanretardpack (08/27/2013) [-]
Please don't **** with telemarketers. They're just doing their job, and it's a mindless and menial job. They really don't need people getting them in trouble with their bosses for not keeping their call times down
User avatar #125 to #20 - romdomcom (08/27/2013) [-]
Thank you so much, I've worked in two outbound call centres, and I hated every minute. I was completely desperate and had to support my family, I got sacked when I had a breakdown in work. No one is in those places because they had the choice.
User avatar #144 to #125 - Onemanretardpack (08/28/2013) [-]
Don't know why you got thumbed down, but I thumbed you back up to even you out. Yeah, they suck hard. They really need to make some legislation or something to crack down on call center companies. They treat all of their employees like machines, and after you get yelled at by people you're not allowed to hang up on, your boss will yell at you for staying on the line too long. Temp agencies aren't much better. They'll put you in the worst possible job with little pay and then terminate you as soon as you ask for some leniency.
User avatar #22 to #20 - losers (08/27/2013) [-]
This, a thousand times this. Every telemarketer is a human being. It's ****** up to just go around causing them to be miserable just because they're doing their job. They probably hate their job too, and they have to deal with asshats that don't understand they're just trying to get paid so they can go home. Just hear them out and say no thanks.
User avatar #53 - platapus (08/27/2013) [-]
how is chewing gum going to stop me from thinking about when my mother chocked to death on an onion?
#54 to #53 - Rascal (08/27/2013) [-]
It's gunna do jack **** since it's for when you cut onions dipstick.
#55 to #54 - platapus (08/27/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #1 - fuckingdaltonapple (08/26/2013) [-]
Even if telemarketers are annoying, #3 would be a dick move.
User avatar #110 to #1 - majormoron (08/27/2013) [-]
Especially since if you hate them so much you can just put your number on the "Do Not Call" list for free. I haven't had one call since I did that.
User avatar #3 to #1 - Milos (08/26/2013) [-]
You're right, those people probably don't like their job anyway, no reason to make it worse.
#6 to #3 - flemsdfer ONLINE (08/26/2013) [-]
You're right. I had one of those jobs for awhile. My first job actually. You're stuck in a room. A grey room, with solid black blinds so no sun comes in. You go in when it is dark outside, and come out when it is dark outside, and spend this whole day in a bland room full of morbidly obese people squeaking their chairs under the weight as you repeat the same dialogue to people, and getting yelled at. Then you get reprimanded by your superiors if you are too quick or too slow with the call. That's right. You get punished if the person on the other end doesn't let you finish in a certain time frame that's ideal for the company. I was horribly depressed working there.
You're right. I had one of those jobs for awhile. My first job actually. You're stuck in a room. A grey room, with solid black blinds so no sun comes in. You go in when it is dark outside, and come out when it is dark outside, and spend this whole day in a bland room full of morbidly obese people squeaking their chairs under the weight as you repeat the same dialogue to people, and getting yelled at. Then you get reprimanded by your superiors if you are too quick or too slow with the call. That's right. You get punished if the person on the other end doesn't let you finish in a certain time frame that's ideal for the company. I was horribly depressed working there.
#7 to #6 - Milos (08/26/2013) [-]
I hope you are in a better place now.
#14 to #7 - chody ONLINE (08/27/2013) [-]
What Homer does is basically what I'm getting a degree in :|
User avatar #34 to #14 - warioteam (08/27/2013) [-]
Nuclear Sciences?
User avatar #38 to #34 - ktbmnf ONLINE (08/27/2013) [-]
i was thinking more along the lines of "pressing buttons so that the whole plant doesn't collapse"
#41 to #34 - chody ONLINE (08/27/2013) [-]
Well for now it's Process Sciences, but yeah Nuclear is afterwards
#16 to #7 - gamebug (08/27/2013) [-]
I only have this version of this picture, but I think he really did it in the episode with Marge.
User avatar #31 to #16 - myaccountisnew (08/27/2013) [-]
Yeah, but they are pictures of Maggie.
User avatar #138 to #6 - twofreegerbils (08/27/2013) [-]
Telemarketing jobs have the highest job turnaround rate. The place is a revolving door of employees. Nobody stays there long if they can help it.
User avatar #117 to #6 - realgooner (08/27/2013) [-]
My callcenter was actually good. Gret view over the city, and nice people(except for my supervisor) i worked with. But the job itself was **** .
User avatar #118 to #117 - flemsdfer ONLINE (08/27/2013) [-]
Mine had the potential, but it didn't perform. Nice and bright if you opened the blinds, but if ONE was left open everyone with like, six chins, would hiss until someone finally appeased them. Then the whole supervisor's being dicks and suckling up to the higher charge people and finally the calls themselves. I've never realized that biscuit dough ruined so many lives, but lordy lordy it does apparently.
User avatar #72 to #6 - ezmack (08/27/2013) [-]
Same here dude.

The worst thing was that I was getting so stressed out that I was actually starting to have chest pains.

I'm 19 years old!

It's horrible when how people think the can act to people they don't know over the phone. I'm mean they were being so hateful and rude that it was actually physically hurting me. I'm just glad I don't work there anymore.
User avatar #81 to #72 - flemsdfer ONLINE (08/27/2013) [-]
I feel ya. I don't think my next job can involve customer service. Not for a longgg time, and certainly not in a cubicle ever again.

and I hope your health has improved
User avatar #59 to #6 - coolioplasm (08/27/2013) [-]
"I was depressed working there" Society is great huh? Allowing **** like this.
User avatar #116 to #3 - realgooner (08/27/2013) [-]
Worked in telemarketing last year. It was so depressing and the wage was minimum. And the supervisor hated me.
They fired me, for not being good enough. Didn't think i would be glad for getting fired.
User avatar #5 - leglesslegolegolas (08/26/2013) [-]
#3 is the reason why telemarketer jobs make people want to an hero.
User avatar #63 - ruebezahl (08/27/2013) [-]
For telemarketers, I sometimes used the Arnold Schwarzenegger sound board:
You need to login to view this link

The point where they hung up was usually "I'm a cop you idiot!"
User avatar #42 - roflstorm (08/27/2013) [-]
#3
That is commonly referred to as "being a douche"
Telemarketers are just doing their jobs. ****** jobs, but jobs they have to do.
Just say no thanks and hang up.
User avatar #43 to #42 - vladhellsing (08/27/2013) [-]
Think of it as giving them a break. They can play solitaire while they wait.
User avatar #44 to #43 - ThisCouldScareYou (08/27/2013) [-]
Yeah except for some of us who are customer service reps also, if you do that it destroys our average call time and causes us to not get our commission checks at the end of the month.

TL;DR= Doing this could cause someone to lose 300-500 dollars.
#64 to #42 - scumbagfinder (08/27/2013) [-]
They HAVE to do that job? Who the fock is forcing them?

Nobody!
#114 to #64 - ramnarainy ONLINE (08/27/2013) [-]
Some people cant find jobs man. They take what they can because they gotta pay bills or care for a family. It's a ****** job but people just gotta do what they have to do to get by.
User avatar #103 to #64 - skaffanl (08/27/2013) [-]
I agree. I already know for a really long time that I'm never gonna be a telemarketer just because of how ****** I think the job is. If I then decide to do it anyway I shouldn't complain because I knew what I was getting myself in That's the same as cleaning toilets and complaining about how someone didn't flush. I mean, people should still flush but you knew what you were getting yourself into so stop complaining.

So, people shouldn't do number 3 but if they do deal with it because you knew what to expect.
User avatar #15 - tomowrath (08/27/2013) [-]
FYI, Telemarketers are real people with real deadlines.

people that have done this probably made someone lose their job.
User avatar #17 to #15 - wellimnotsure (08/27/2013) [-]
by real people I hope you mean those who inhabit satan's asshole
User avatar #18 to #17 - tomowrath (08/27/2013) [-]
No, just some poor guy that works a **** job who probably has a terrible life behind the job as well
#77 to #15 - Rascal (08/27/2013) [-]
They may be real people with real jobs, but why are they still around if people hate them so much?
Just because it is a job, does not mean it is right to be bothered.
#23 to #15 - Rascal (08/27/2013) [-]
They'd be luck to get fired then they could get a real job.
#58 - fuckyosixtyminutes (08/27/2013) [-]
I actually have a silent sound file I set as the ringtone for people I don't like so I just never hear them call.
#39 - Rascal (08/27/2013) [-]
Story from when I was a little **** . One day, a telemarketer calls and wakes me up.
I answer because my parents are still asleep. A man with a thick accent asks me where my father is.
My mind is racing for a way out of this conversation.
I tell the man that my dad isn't home.
He asks where my mother is. I say she isn't home either.
He asks me when they might be back. I panic and blurt out that my parents are dead.
The man on the phone is a little taken aback.
I proceed to fake cry. And then the telemarketer hung up on me.
#71 to #39 - Rascal (08/27/2013) [-]
11/10 would comment on again
#127 - Nameloc (08/27/2013) [-]
>phone rings   
>pick it up   
>"Hi this is Samantha with-"   
>"Excuse me, ma'am"   
>"...Yes?"   
>"I'm not interested in your product, however I shall return the favor by asking if you would like to purchase my couch..."   
>"Uh-"   
>"Don't worry, it only has a few love stains on it, nothing too noticeabl-"   
>*click*
>phone rings
>pick it up
>"Hi this is Samantha with-"
>"Excuse me, ma'am"
>"...Yes?"
>"I'm not interested in your product, however I shall return the favor by asking if you would like to purchase my couch..."
>"Uh-"
>"Don't worry, it only has a few love stains on it, nothing too noticeabl-"
>*click*
#136 to #127 - DremoraValkynaz (08/27/2013) [-]
You still selling that couch?
#88 - liamdurf (08/27/2013) [-]
Unless the animals don't like the people working there.
Unless the animals don't like the people working there.
#36 - thehandthatfeeds (08/27/2013) [-]
If you didn't know water was free, I envy you. You rich bastard
#29 - thecowmastor (08/27/2013) [-]
What if the zookeepers abuse their animals. Then the animals would either be scared of you or angry at you.
#126 - tendividedbysix (08/27/2013) [-]
Working at my old place I know how frickin' brilliant it would be if I had gotten a call everyday that lasted for 8 hours in silence. I'd just bring a good book and get paid for wearing a headset all bloody day.

It's dealing with the constant stream of actual abuse that gets soul-crushing after a while. Doing this would save some telemarketer from dealing with someone else's ******** .
User avatar #124 - Johnsfer (08/27/2013) [-]
Not all telemarketers are bad people.
That being said, some of the companies are **** . We had a telemarketer company call asking for some lady over 5 times everyday for 2 weeks. We swore at them, told them to **** off and talked to the manager and they still called at least once a day.
They finally did stop, but screw those guys
Something weird though, I've either never noticed them before, or telemarketing has become something bigger, more often(like every couple days), we will get calls from them. I'd love to know the percentage of people who actually go through with what they are selling. Must be enough to keep them afloat.
User avatar #123 - Loppytaffy (08/27/2013) [-]
The tap water thign works in Europe too, as part of the European Convention of Human Rights that states people are entitled to clean water.
User avatar #111 - askafj (08/27/2013) [-]
#3 is just being a dick
#99 - andovaredoras (08/27/2013) [-]
Onions dont usually make me cry...but the smell is a bit difficult to get off my fingers, sometimes sticking for almost 3 days or so...   
   
   
   
unrelated gif..I think?
Onions dont usually make me cry...but the smell is a bit difficult to get off my fingers, sometimes sticking for almost 3 days or so...



unrelated gif..I think?
User avatar #119 to #99 - CyrilKeir (08/27/2013) [-]
You can try two different things for that, they work for me.

First: Take a tablespoon or more of everyday table salt in the palm of your hands. Mix with cold water into a paste, then rub all over your hands. Rinse off and dry. Not only will the salt get rid of the odor, but it'll also exfoliate your hands, making them much softer!

Second: Rub your hands against stainless steel metal (a kitchen sink works well) under cold running water for about a minute; rubbing with a large metal spoon works, too.
#121 to #119 - andovaredoras (08/27/2013) [-]
Thanks, i shall try those the next time i handle onions.
User avatar #79 - iliketires (08/27/2013) [-]
Life Hack: Shut up.
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