flappity floo. they are coming. If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speak
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flappity floo

they are coming

Tags: english
If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will
be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers
in the world,
After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he' d prefer six months of
hard labour to reading sis lines aloud,
Dearest cream re in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and swam, retain and Britain.
Mind the latter, how it' s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe,
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Immoral,
kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would,
viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your ' s DH
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with dangler.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, game, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, low.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Fluffer does, and Zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal,
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succor r, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, am aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary,
Crevice and device and Erie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
large, but target, gin, give, verging,
ought, out, must and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation [think of Psyche!}
Is a paling stout and spiky?
won' t it make you lose your wits,
Writing goats and saying grits?
its a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!
...
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Submitted: 08/26/2013
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Comments(129):

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User avatar #8 - androanomaly (08/26/2013) [+] (1 reply)
I actually had a lot of fun reciting this.
#21 - apackofwolves (08/26/2013) [-]
The spelling and pronunciation may not be consistent in the English language, but at least we don't also have to worry about whether the fork is masculine or feminine.
Not that either is really a problem when you get used to the language.
#6 - texasbarbie (08/26/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Apart from about 10 words i did not know as a non-native english speaker...i think i did ok with the rest....
User avatar #9 - godtherapist (08/26/2013) [+] (5 replies)
Ever exuberant, even exciting, English examination earns EXHAUSTING exasperation.
#22 - cutiepyro (08/26/2013) [+] (1 reply)
I did it   
AND I'm a native speaker
I did it
AND I'm a native speaker
#3 - pokemonstheshiz (08/26/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#65 - jayax (08/27/2013) [+] (3 replies)
Does anyone else have a problem with knowing a word but not how to pronounce it because no one has ever said it around you?
#41 - FudgeCannon (08/27/2013) [-]
I was two thirds of the way down ripping through this and I thought, what if the last sentence is 'you just lost the game'
I was two thirds of the way down ripping through this and I thought, what if the last sentence is 'you just lost the game'
#64 - dontknowmeatall (08/27/2013) [+] (1 reply)
I study Linguistics. I just shared it with my classmates. None of us is a native. We'll recite it and then compare it with a voice synthesizer. Let the fun begin.
#7 - Jelloisyumm (08/26/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#70 - drunkenboy (08/27/2013) [-]
I would pay good money to hear Morgan Freeman read this
User avatar #4 - arabiddrummer **User deleted account** (08/26/2013) [-]
******* christ. That was exhausting.
#84 - kommandantvideo (08/27/2013) [+] (1 reply)
#31 - Imabur (08/27/2013) [+] (1 reply)
i started reading, got to the point where i needed to scroll down, realized how long this bitch is, then stopped reading
#27 - bemmo (08/27/2013) [+] (5 replies)
Never again will I think that English is an easy language to learn.
Never again will I think that English is an easy language to learn.
User avatar #1 - upthedown (08/26/2013) [+] (1 reply)
I got about 70% through, then my brain caught on fire.
Btw I would thumb this, but damn it I can't.
#87 - teenytinyspider (08/27/2013) [-]
I gave up halfway through. Too much reading, and I usually like reading.
#81 - defacedcreeper (08/27/2013) [+] (2 replies)
This was actually pretty easy   
 inb4 red thumbs
This was actually pretty easy
inb4 red thumbs
User avatar #35 - biker (08/27/2013) [-]
I read pretty much the whole thing and I speak quite well. However, I ran into a problem. There are a number of word which I have never heard before and thus have no chance of pronouncing correctly. It's a little unfair to expect everyone to have such a vast knowledge of vocabulary. I believe this was made to make everybody feel stupid (which, admittedly, everybody needs to be knocked down a peg or two every once in a while).
So if you were able to pronounce every single word I would say that you have a greater prowess of the English language than at least 98% of the entire English speaking population.
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