Every Essay Ever. Here, have this analogy: "Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.". M essay writing School

Every Essay Ever

Every Essay Ever. Here, have this analogy: "Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.". M

Here, have this analogy: "Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master."

My Name
Mandatory Class
Teacher I hate
Earlier Date
Every Essay I Have Ever Written
Opening sentence with acme metaphor that you idiot teachers will like because it
makes me leek smart when in reality I hand it an . This is just mindless
******** with a slew at SAT wards I can get a higher grade. Some Amber' s New at a
Book t New Read represents seine **** that I made up; I will spend the next it pages
prating this with meaningless rambling and random games. I will probably get an he an
this essay because I used a thesaurus far every ether were and referred m the that
outside scarce that prepped up an gaggle. This is a sentence. I
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Submitted: 08/25/2013
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#3 - babbylicious (08/25/2013) [-]
I posted this on facebook once.

My former Lit teacher's when...
User avatar #15 to #3 - rokulda (08/25/2013) [-]
what about his when
User avatar #17 to #15 - babbylicious (08/25/2013) [-]
face* sorry.
User avatar #18 to #17 - rokulda (08/25/2013) [-]
#7 - klutzyspy (08/25/2013) [-]
How i wrote german essays
1. Find essay online in any language.
2. Google translate that bitch to your own language
3. Correct **** and expand short sentences.
4. Google translate to german
5. Put in word and let it correct all red and green errors

Automatic B
User avatar #8 - trollmobile (08/25/2013) [-]
i'm saving this because it's a goot template to use to remember what to put in an essay.
#6 - buddydms (08/25/2013) [-]
These are how essays are in highschool, but in college you actually have to try.
User avatar #13 to #6 - JonnyFirecrackr (08/25/2013) [-]
i tried harder in HS, idgaf anymore in college
User avatar #2 - smittywrbmnjnsn (08/25/2013) [-]
You know, I've never had to use the internet or a thesaurus to get an A on an essay about something I didn't study.

Because essays are one of those things that can't be graded for correctness... just formality.
User avatar #19 to #2 - thesoxpride (08/25/2013) [-]
My native language spanish teacher is a text editor. She spent all of last year re-teaching everyone how to write a proper essay rather than just a 5 paragraph piece of **** where the intro and conclusion are exactly the same. She grades essays on “Redacción” which is everything like sentence fluency and grammar, and “contenido” which is the actual substance of the essay. The content is really not if you are right or wrong, rather if you can prove that you are right, even on a controversial topic, in this case you would need to expose your thesis late so that the reader has already seen your points and has no way of countering the thesis statement. I.e. if an essay starts “abortion should be legal” anyone who is against it will just stop reading. It has been a fantastic experience to really learn how to write an essay. Just this month one of my essays got sent to the University of Michigan, and she still managed to put it up on the projector and show the entire class each and every flaw in the essay.
User avatar #4 to #2 - Seventeen (08/25/2013) [-]
and content...
User avatar #9 to #4 - smittywrbmnjnsn (08/25/2013) [-]
If you're good, you can make it seem like you know what you're talking about, even when you have no clue.
User avatar #10 to #9 - Seventeen (08/25/2013) [-]
i know what you're talking about; i'm at university too.

what i was picking up on is you said 'essays are one of those things that can't be graded for correctness'. they will be graded on accuracy of content, which is what i presumed you meant by 'correctness'.
User avatar #11 to #10 - smittywrbmnjnsn (08/25/2013) [-]
Buy I mean, they can't be graded on a "correct" "incorrect" scale.
#5 - waffie (08/25/2013) [-]
wait your essays are only one paragraph long?
'Mericuh here i come
User avatar #12 to #5 - uzbekistan (08/25/2013) [-]
Did you read the part where it says " I will spend the next 3 pages proving this with meaningless rambling and random quotes"
User avatar #23 - internetrage (08/26/2013) [-]
I once got a C in my English class, and my teacher said that he was disappointed and that he knew I could do better. I suspected he was just downgrading it to make a point cause I never listened in class, talked constantly, was a smug cunt and still consistently got high grades on every essay. I said yeah okay fair enough and told him I'd rewrite it that night.

>printed off exactly the same essay
User avatar #22 - umaya (08/26/2013) [-]
Yeah, I always refused to waffle in essays because I made them get to the point and be 1-2 pages, I always got Cs and Ds for that and I never got any higher, but in college the tutors love it and I get A-B grades, mainly because most of my tutors are pretty lazy and want to get marking over with.

I hate most news articles and TV reports because they use a lot of boring repetitive filler waffle, I would love to be an article writer on a news website that gets to the damn point?
User avatar #16 - chuca (08/25/2013) [-]
usually for me it's more of me writing a paragraph on whatever i have to explain, my teachers bitching it's missing key points and what not, me rewriting it so i explain the same thing in 5 pages instead of 1 paragraph, drawing out every sentence and repeating myself over and over and my teachers telling me how well written it is
#14 - leonenthedk (08/25/2013) [-]
Only 3 pages? WHAT GRADE ARE YOU IN?!?
User avatar #20 to #14 - thesoxpride (08/25/2013) [-]
The length of assignments really depends on the curriculum rather than the grade. In my composition class we write 1200 word essays every week almost, rather than doing 8000 word papers every quarter or something. this is for high-school, of course its different in college.
#21 to #14 - anon (08/26/2013) [-]
I'm a seinor in a good high school and we've only gotten 2 page essays.
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