Every Essay Ever. Here, have this analogy: "Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.". M
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Every Essay Ever

Here, have this analogy: "Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master."

My Name
Mandatory Class
Teacher I hate
Earlier Date
Every Essay I Have Ever Written
Opening sentence with acme metaphor that you idiot teachers will like because it
makes me leek smart when in reality I hand it an . This is just mindless
bullshit with a slew at SAT wards I can get a higher grade. Some Amber' s New at a
Book t New Read represents seine shit that I made up; I will spend the next it pages
prating this with meaningless rambling and random games. I will probably get an he an
this essay because I used a thesaurus far every ether were and referred m the that
outside scarce that prepped up an gaggle. This is a sentence. I
...
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Submitted: 08/25/2013
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#3 - babbylicious (08/25/2013) [+] (3 replies)
I posted this on facebook once.

My former Lit teacher's when...
#7 - klutzyspy (08/25/2013) [-]
How i wrote german essays
1. Find essay online in any language.
2. Google translate that bitch to your own language
3. Correct shit and expand short sentences.
4. Google translate to german
5. Put in word and let it correct all red and green errors

Automatic B
#5 - waffie (08/25/2013) [+] (1 reply)
wait your essays are only one paragraph long?
'Mericuh here i come
User avatar #12 to #5 - uzbekistan (08/25/2013) [-]
Did you read the part where it says " I will spend the next 3 pages proving this with meaningless rambling and random quotes"
User avatar #8 - trollmobile ONLINE (08/25/2013) [-]
i'm saving this because it's a goot template to use to remember what to put in an essay.
#6 - buddydms (08/25/2013) [+] (1 reply)
These are how essays are in highschool, but in college you actually have to try.
User avatar #2 - smittywrbmnjnsn (08/25/2013) [+] (5 replies)
You know, I've never had to use the internet or a thesaurus to get an A on an essay about something I didn't study.

Because essays are one of those things that can't be graded for correctness... just formality.
User avatar #23 - internetrage (08/26/2013) [-]
I once got a C in my English class, and my teacher said that he was disappointed and that he knew I could do better. I suspected he was just downgrading it to make a point cause I never listened in class, talked constantly, was a smug cunt and still consistently got high grades on every essay. I said yeah okay fair enough and told him I'd rewrite it that night.

>printed off exactly the same essay
>A*
User avatar #22 - umaya (08/26/2013) [-]
Yeah, I always refused to waffle in essays because I made them get to the point and be 1-2 pages, I always got Cs and Ds for that and I never got any higher, but in college the tutors love it and I get A-B grades, mainly because most of my tutors are pretty lazy and want to get marking over with.

I hate most news articles and TV reports because they use a lot of boring repetitive filler waffle, I would love to be an article writer on a news website that gets to the damn point?
User avatar #16 - chuca (08/25/2013) [-]
usually for me it's more of me writing a paragraph on whatever i have to explain, my teachers bitching it's missing key points and what not, me rewriting it so i explain the same thing in 5 pages instead of 1 paragraph, drawing out every sentence and repeating myself over and over and my teachers telling me how well written it is
#14 - leonenthedk (08/25/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Only 3 pages? WHAT GRADE ARE YOU IN?!?
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