Scrubs?. No. A lessen I learned in the B! ! ! liltle! yen t' while attached iri'. a heart ngunit: ', it scares the nurses a let. etait _ -if doctormaniac. No, W


What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#29 - sexualsenpai (08/25/2013) [+] (70 replies)
Looks like he....Had a stroke
#1 - crazyolitis (08/24/2013) [-]
HFW he thinks it's going to be like porn.
HFW he thinks it's going to be like porn.
User avatar #204 to #1 - megatheman (08/27/2013) [-]
That gif cracks me up every time i see it, i dont know why...

#2 - flemsdfer (08/24/2013) [-]
Is it REALLY the time and place to jerk it while admitted to a hospital?
Is it REALLY the time and place to jerk it while admitted to a hospital?
User avatar #25 to #2 - heartlessrobot (08/25/2013) [-]
Name a time and place it's not ok to jerk off in, and I'll tell you you're wrong.
User avatar #33 to #25 - tehfalconguy (08/25/2013) [-]
The funeral of a guy you raped.
User avatar #201 to #33 - heartlessrobot (08/26/2013) [-]
You're wrong too.
User avatar #31 to #25 - IamEllis (08/25/2013) [-]
chronic masturbation clinic?
User avatar #202 to #31 - heartlessrobot (08/26/2013) [-]
You're wrong.
User avatar #58 to #2 - snakefire (08/25/2013) [-]
Sometimes you're there for days..

as a teenager you cant always wait.
User avatar #76 to #2 - drastronomy (08/25/2013) [-]
if your'e in there long enough its hard not to
User avatar #28 to #2 - BowChickaBowWow (08/25/2013) [-]
Hey, you could be dead by the end of the day. Might as well get one last handie in.
#32 to #2 - hurblurb (08/25/2013) [-]
It's never a bad time.
It's never a bad time.
#155 to #2 - anon (08/25/2013) [-]
hey when youve been in that bed for weeks and you have nothing else to do, you feel the URGE
User avatar #47 to #2 - lordlucifer (08/25/2013) [-]
Of course it is
User avatar #5 to #2 - mattyjay (08/25/2013) [-]
everywhere isthe time and place
User avatar #27 to #5 - killerliquid (08/25/2013) [-]
mattyjay has spoken. Everywhere is now a term related to time.
#35 to #2 - blueghost (08/25/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#36 to #2 - cactusphalus (08/25/2013) [-]
it's ALWAYS the time and place
User avatar #6 to #2 - themightymrplow (08/25/2013) [-]
Is it ever NOT a place to jerk it?
User avatar #185 to #6 - wtfduud (08/25/2013) [-]
A Funeral.
#189 to #185 - anon (08/25/2013) [-]
ikr, there's a perfectly fresh corpse to **** right there. why would anyone wack off?
User avatar #7 to #2 - fitemeirlbro (08/25/2013) [-]
some times you just have to jerk it
User avatar #170 to #2 - swimmingprodigy (08/25/2013) [-]
go hard or go home
User avatar #171 to #170 - swimmingprodigy (08/25/2013) [-]
and since you can't go home cuz youre in a hospital, you have to go hard. And that's the only way I know of getting rid of that sort of thing alone
User avatar #48 to #2 - burningsmurfs (08/25/2013) [-]
I dunno at that age I think even a rock could somehow get me thinking about girls and I remember being so turned on sometimes I'd almost try anything to fix it, so I dunno if I could judge that kid or not.
#46 to #2 - crazedguy (08/25/2013) [-]
The question is just when isnt the time to give yourself some love?
#89 to #2 - lukagamer (08/25/2013) [-]
Its always the time and place
Its always the time and place
User avatar #144 to #2 - alltimetens (08/25/2013) [-]
#4 to #2 - taurusguy (08/24/2013) [-]
I once beat off in a hospital bathroom, i regret it now.
User avatar #3 to #2 - austoboyko (08/24/2013) [-]
His body was ready,so he beat off. come on reggie
#61 - ffffyou (08/25/2013) [-]
This image has expired
#62 - stocxt (08/25/2013) [-]
If this was a hentai they'd end up having a seven-way.
But nothing happens in life like it does in hentai...
#206 to #62 - superintrovert (08/30/2013) [-]
You never know. Somewhere is in this big beautiful world of ours there's probably lots of people who have LOTS of sevenways. Maybe if you work really hard and dream big you too could be one of those lucky- who am I ******* kidding life is never ending void of disappointment and everything that's happy is a lie. Santa, Pokemon, The Cake. . .lies. . .
#81 to #62 - heafi (08/25/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#57 - snakefire (08/25/2013) [-]
I'm going to be having surgery soon. About 5 days recovery time in the hospital.   
Now I find out I cant masturbate...   
First they break my ribs, then I have to go blueballing for a week...
I'm going to be having surgery soon. About 5 days recovery time in the hospital.

Now I find out I cant masturbate...

First they break my ribs, then I have to go blueballing for a week...
User avatar #145 to #57 - meganinja (08/25/2013) [-]
I just got back from Hell Week for the Corps of Cadets at my College. I didn't fap all week.
User avatar #146 to #145 - snakefire (08/25/2013) [-]
I'm 16....
User avatar #151 to #146 - meganinja (08/25/2013) [-]
User avatar #152 to #151 - snakefire (08/25/2013) [-]
My hormones are much stronger.
User avatar #153 to #152 - meganinja (08/25/2013) [-]
Well I got dropped off Saturday morning. I hadn't fapped the day before. I spent the week in camp. That's 8 days. Then I had a parade on Saturday, the 9th day. I got home exhausted and was trying to sort **** out. And on the 10th day, today, I fapped.

I think twice the duration makes up for the fact that I'm two years older.
User avatar #156 to #153 - majormoron (08/25/2013) [-]
You think that's tough? I'm about to go for 8 1/2 weeks basic training, and I would be mortified to be caught fapping. I don't know what is going to happen when I do, but I can't imagine needing less than 50 buckets.
User avatar #158 to #156 - meganinja (08/25/2013) [-]
nah it's not the fact that I was embarrased to fap. I literally didn't have time.
User avatar #159 to #158 - majormoron (08/25/2013) [-]
Forget embarrassment (although I imagine if they kept you you would NEVER hear the end of it), but they would probably kick me out for public indecency or something like that. Plus, if its like what I hear its like, I won't have the time either.
User avatar #160 to #159 - meganinja (08/25/2013) [-]
Just fap in a bathroom stall (provided you do have the time, if you don't there's really nothing you can do)
User avatar #161 to #160 - majormoron (08/25/2013) [-]
Dude we get like a minute and a half to shower, I don't think they give leisure time in there.
User avatar #164 to #57 - dummerbaztard (08/25/2013) [-]
Well but look at the bright side, if you can last 5 days without it, you'll have a grear time once you're out
#168 to #57 - anon (08/25/2013) [-]
Well once your out of the hospital prepare for the best.
User avatar #112 to #57 - kittywithclaws (08/25/2013) [-]
Hope it goes alright man
User avatar #120 to #112 - snakefire (08/25/2013) [-]
User avatar #114 to #57 - windmagevaati (08/25/2013) [-]
Oh yeah, I forgot you're going into surgery.
I hope everything goes well for you.
User avatar #119 to #114 - snakefire (08/25/2013) [-]
Me too, thanks.
User avatar #117 to #57 - skilgannon (08/25/2013) [-]
Best of luck, dude.
User avatar #118 to #117 - snakefire (08/25/2013) [-]
Thank you..
#123 to #57 - cookiecoketwo has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #11 - KayRed (08/25/2013) [-]
I asked my mom about this, and she's called ******** . Granted, this was back in the 80's, so porn wasn't as available, and she also worked in the cardiac department, so it was mostly old fat dudes she had to deal with. I do not deny that old fat dudes masturbate, but if that was the case, she probably chose to forget.
User avatar #12 to #11 - austoboyko (08/25/2013) [-]
How that went "Mom did any dude beat off in the hospital?"
"No." Whispers to herself "i beat them off
User avatar #15 to #12 - KayRed (08/25/2013) [-]
I actually asked her about it after visiting her mother in the hospital after she (my gandmom) had a stroke, so probably not the best timing.
User avatar #16 to #15 - austoboyko (08/25/2013) [-]
Oh, i hope your grandmothers ok. that was a bit insensitive of me
User avatar #17 to #16 - KayRed (08/25/2013) [-]
Dude, I asked my mother about hospital fapping while visiting her sick mother, so I think it's evident that I don't give a **** about sensitivity.

But she is fine, took the stroke like a champ.
#19 to #17 - stoicnick (08/25/2013) [-]
**stoicnick rolled a random image posted in comment #312 at Description. ** took the stroke like a champ....YES I GET A GOLD METAL IN STROKE
User avatar #20 to #19 - KayRed (08/25/2013) [-]
Mother ****** ! This bitch (the said bitch being my grandmother), grew up in south philly, raised by a professional boxer, grew up during the depression, had ten ******* kids, a dickhead husband who she told to gtfo, and beat severe alcoholism, so yes, if she want's a gold medal in beating a stroke, then goddamnit she's gonna get a gold medal.
User avatar #21 to #20 - stoicnick (08/25/2013) [-]
...where do you get a gold medal for that?
User avatar #22 to #21 - KayRed (08/25/2013) [-]
One of her 32 ******* grandchildren will figure that out.
User avatar #24 to #22 - sweener (08/25/2013) [-]
My grandmother has 12 brothers and sisters..(well, had), and her husband had 11. My mother has 76 FIRST cousins. Their parents actually had to stop sleeping in the same room to stop having kids.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who knows how ridiculous that amount of people is.

God medals for Great Grandmas.
User avatar #138 to #24 - danniegurl (08/25/2013) [-]
My grandpa has 3 sisters and 5 brothers, i know the feeling of a large family too!
I always have to ask how I'm related to people.
User avatar #193 to #138 - sweener (08/25/2013) [-]
My mother was from a small town, and there is a joke in the family that the reason they let her marry my dad is because he moved there from California.
User avatar #87 to #24 - KayRed (08/25/2013) [-]
Irish catholic I'm guessing? Like mine.
User avatar #23 to #22 - stoicnick (08/25/2013) [-]
i think you should
User avatar #42 to #19 - marksey (08/25/2013) [-]
That's so metal, I got a medal
User avatar #18 to #17 - austoboyko (08/25/2013) [-]
ok thats good
User avatar #13 to #11 - redtooth (08/25/2013) [-]
Must be awkward to have a mom called ********

yeah I realize it's a typo
User avatar #14 to #13 - KayRed (08/25/2013) [-]
Ha, I probably should've realized that. "She has".
User avatar #103 to #13 - biggydy (08/25/2013) [-]
I don't remember the last time i laughed this hard at a joke on the internet. i love you
#55 to #13 - boneristic (08/25/2013) [-]
sir, I will probably be thumbed down for this but your comment is one of the funniest things I have ever read on the internet
#130 - qballextraction (08/25/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#135 to #130 - romeosdistress (08/25/2013) [-]
I logged in just to thumb because Anya. <3
I logged in just to thumb because Anya. <3
User avatar #10 - dudeyouisnasty (08/25/2013) [-]
I've done this. I only had male nurses for the rest of my stay...
#8 - anon (08/25/2013) [-]
Wrong, it's Buffy the Vampire Slayer
#63 - optimussum (08/25/2013) [-]
How can you just casually rub one out while you're in a ******* hospital?
User avatar #176 to #63 - wolfypolli ONLINE (08/25/2013) [-]
I masturbated in the middle of an airplane during a trans-atlantic flight once.
#199 to #63 - LightYagamiXD (08/26/2013) [-]
I have when i was at a church
I have when i was at a church
User avatar #65 to #63 - hundrings (08/25/2013) [-]
I could casually rub one out just about anywhere.. Never been caught.
User avatar #80 to #65 - optimussum (08/25/2013) [-]
You will get caught one day.

And it'll be ******* hilarious.
User avatar #111 to #80 - catburglarpenis (08/25/2013) [-]
I'm rubbing one out to the THOUGHT of you being caught rubbing one out while I'm rubbing one out.
User avatar #39 - laelaps (08/25/2013) [-]
who the hell decides to yank it in a ******* hospital?
User avatar #44 to #39 - dedaluminus (08/25/2013) [-]
It's a good way to cheer up after you find out you have total renal failure
User avatar #98 to #39 - ishalltroll (08/25/2013) [-]
This might sound ultra-beta but I actually get terribly over-aroused whenever I sleep at foreign places such as other people's houses, hotels and the likes.
It's really ******* annoying actually.
User avatar #45 to #39 - biggrand (08/25/2013) [-]
i've gotten off in school and never gotten caught, i've gotten off at camp in a tent full of dudes sleeping and not been caught, i've gotten off on the top bunk of a bunk bed in a cabin without getting caught. You know the only times i've ever been caught? in my own ******* room when the door was already closed and they just come in here like they pay rent. Point is, touch yourself
#84 to #45 - zakaizer (08/25/2013) [-]
Okay, you've caught my curiosity, how did you get off at school? Tent and bunk bed, I can kinda understand, but school?
Okay, you've caught my curiosity, how did you get off at school? Tent and bunk bed, I can kinda understand, but school?
User avatar #141 to #84 - biggrand (08/25/2013) [-]
so i've told this a bunch of times on this site already, so here's what i did in summery. in first grade I was pretty much leaning back, and then my erection just so happened to end up between my thighs and the desk shell that all desk used to have. this was tight as **** and felt really ******* great, so I kept squeezing my cack with my thighs and eventually I jizzed. I didnt what the **** I was actually doing, but it felt great so I did this every day until 5th grade when I realized what I was doing and desk didnt have those shells underneath anymore. I still fap by squeezing my dick with a tv remote or something, it just feels 10x better than my hand in most cases. I'd recommend trying it but if you didnt figure it out on your own you might end up popping a nut
#91 to #84 - evilwheatleycore (08/25/2013) [-]
>Sit and front far corner of room
>Teacher giving lecture in back of class
>Pinch-wank through trousers
>Fall asleep
>Pass class with flying colors

I wish I was making this up, this was at least a bi-weekly thing
User avatar #116 to #91 - catburglarpenis (08/25/2013) [-]
You do realize that people usually just ignore intensely weird **** like that?

Everyone on Earth isn't oblivious, and your sneak skill isn't 100. Things that happened in my life:

One kid on the bus jerked off under his coat on the way to school every day. Every. Day.

One kid liked to put his penis on people. He'd get behind you in line and whip his dick out and rub it on your pantleg or something, then put it back in his pants.

One kid in Boy Scouts jerked off in the top bunk. He probably thought he was so ******* sneaky. He would rock that bunk so hard the squeaking would wake us all up. When he would get going and the light was still on, his bunkmate would roll over and lock eyes with me with the most disappointed look on his face.

Bonus one: Class 163 from US Navy boot camp Recruit Training Command, Great Lakes (my class) has one special entry in their deck log: "Seaman (name withheld) was caught in head... Not using head" (head is bathroom).

You're not sneaky, you're just "the weirdo". Just think: what would you do if you caught you doing it? What would you do if you were the teacher? What do you say to the dude jerking off under his coat on the school bus? "Stop"? Just like every guy that's naked from the waist down at a urinal you ignore, you ignore it and hope it goes away.
User avatar #134 to #116 - torchrose (08/25/2013) [-]
This, ladies and gentlemen, is why I'm the most cautious person ever when it comes to fapping. I refuse to become "the weirdo"
User avatar #56 to #39 - exhaustedheadcase (08/25/2013) [-]
dude come on think about it
your 16 and probably been in the hospital for over 3 days
its a miracle he had enough forethough to wait til late at night
#43 - bazda (08/25/2013) [-]
I've been in the hospital several times, for several reasons, even two separate occasions when I was literally dying in the ER and the only time I EVER had heart monitor electrodes on me was when I was in ICU. If you're in the ICU, you don't feel like crazy as that might sound to some of you.
#53 to #43 - arstya (08/25/2013) [-]
Like hell I wouldn't have, but my muscles had atrophied in a 3 month coma!
#200 to #53 - bazda (08/26/2013) [-]
I was in there for like a day after surgery, and I was doped up as **** .
User avatar #203 to #200 - arstya (08/26/2013) [-]
Same here (extend that to over a month along with the doped up effect), but I still tried to masturbate. A lot of pretty nurses and a high libido didn't help.

Stupid ace bandages cut off circulation...
#72 - dixiederp (08/25/2013) [-]
just for the record its buffy the vampire slayer. not scrubs
#9 - doughnutland (08/25/2013) [-]
Thats not at all how I expected it end...
I watch too much porn
User avatar #205 - girloninternet (08/29/2013) [-]
i wonder...if all the kids start doing this at the same time...xD imagine the *********
User avatar #129 - benjiburns (08/25/2013) [-]
That almost became a pretty cool porno
User avatar #51 - hauptishere (08/25/2013) [-]
Well poor Xander could never get Buffy's affections.
So he had to take mattters... into his own hands
User avatar #77 - pappathethird (08/25/2013) [-]
But ... that's not what nurses are supposed to do ...
User avatar #73 - malinko (08/25/2013) [-]
if this kid didnt make some comment like, "ya know that though or 6 nurses in my room is what started this"

then hes just wasting everyones time.
User avatar #86 to #73 - pizzacat (08/25/2013) [-]
what did you just say
User avatar #74 to #73 - malinko (08/25/2013) [-]
wow i really typo'd the **** out of that didn't i?
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