Breaking News: shit happened!. . News in Britain: Stamps havesome up 14 pence. News in America: Cannibal eats man' s face- Britain: at? News in America: Man thr
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Breaking News: shit happened!

News in Britain: Stamps havesome up 14 pence.
News in America: Cannibal eats man' s face-
Britain: at?
News in America: Man throws his own intestines at police.
News in Canada: Body parts mailed to government.
News in America: Women kills and eats 3 week old son.
Britain: Erm.
News in Britain: Our butterfly population is still declining.
...
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Views: 36643
Favorited: 70
Submitted: 08/24/2013
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Comments(182):

[ 182 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #12 - bakonforall (08/25/2013) [-]
You'd think Britain would have learned not to raise the cost of stamps after what happened in Boston.
User avatar #5 - swimmingprodigy (08/24/2013) [-]
News in Britain:
Bee sting kills man
Bees declared deadly weapon
Bees outlawed in Britain
Britain renamed "Ritain"
#78 to #5 - dinosawtacos (08/25/2013) [-]
It was a part of her plan...
User avatar #41 to #5 - skaffanl (08/25/2013) [-]
News in Britain:

Soldier killed by crazy man with machete in the middle of the street.
#43 to #5 - anon (08/25/2013) [-]
Which country suspended students for pretending their fingers were guns?
#106 to #43 - ifsaz **User deleted account** (08/25/2013) [-]
Like catland?
#16 to #5 - cockgeddon (08/25/2013) [-]
That made me chuckle, not exhale, chuckle
That made me chuckle, not exhale, chuckle
#34 to #5 - realvegzillar (08/25/2013) [-]
They'll never take me alive!
#88 - valhalarising (08/25/2013) [-]
nothing ever happens in Britain
User avatar #118 to #88 - swagpony (08/25/2013) [-]
and one got a link for this
#148 to #88 - anon (08/25/2013) [-]
wait a second, arent the lines meant to be orange?
User avatar #154 to #148 - deadmice (08/25/2013) [-]
no. double red line means no stopping on that route.
User avatar #102 to #96 - swimmingprodigy (08/25/2013) [-]
He looks to me like a purebred ******
User avatar #99 to #96 - thebobinito ONLINE (08/25/2013) [-]
Nope, he's pure black, no sandiness about him.
User avatar #100 to #99 - guiguito (08/25/2013) [-]
pretty sure worshiping mohamad makes you a ********** .
#101 to #100 - thebobinito ONLINE (08/25/2013) [-]
Either way.. ****** !
#103 to #101 - guiguito (08/25/2013) [-]
I guess we came to a conclusion. Good thing we could find something we can agree upon.
#105 to #103 - thebobinito ONLINE (08/25/2013) [-]
This has been very productive. Thank you for this.
This has been very productive. Thank you for this.
#116 to #100 - caplocker (08/25/2013) [-]
That's actually a pretty compelling point.
#147 to #100 - ghustla (08/25/2013) [-]
that rustled mah jimmies
but as DeStorm put it (a ****** btw):
opinions are like assholes everyone got them and they all stinks
User avatar #21 - roflstorm (08/25/2013) [-]
"man throws own intestines at police"

Guess he
*puts on shades
Didnt have the guts
User avatar #22 to #21 - mrhotwings (08/25/2013) [-]
I'm conflicted whether to thumb you down or up....
User avatar #23 to #22 - roflstorm (08/25/2013) [-]
Do as you please.
I thought it was funny
#46 to #21 - thewisedane (08/25/2013) [-]
Double flaming thumbs for you!
Double flaming thumbs for you!
User avatar #28 to #21 - ginginhunter (08/25/2013) [-]
That **** was funny, and smart
User avatar #73 to #21 - potrsr (08/25/2013) [-]
gues he had guts to do it i like this better
#14 - anon (08/25/2013) [-]
Man throws his own intestines at police..

.."HERE TAKE EM I CANT DEAL WITH EM ANYMORE"
User avatar #20 to #14 - anonkneemouse (08/25/2013) [-]
I'd like to think he screamed "This is me giving a **** !"
User avatar #35 to #14 - edmin (08/25/2013) [-]
I guess he doesn't have the guts.
User avatar #186 to #35 - ragdollomg (08/26/2013) [-]
"Damit Carlos!" no seriously that was bad..
#45 to #14 - bendahen ONLINE (08/25/2013) [-]
I'm laughing harder than I should be
User avatar #89 to #14 - welshash (08/25/2013) [-]
This is how i feel after i eat mexican food
#76 - Loppytaffy (08/25/2013) [-]
Oh, you think Britain doesn't have problems?
User avatar #82 to #76 - bassline (08/25/2013) [-]
This can't be real can it? and if that did happen would we speak french or they speak English?
User avatar #110 to #82 - freakanator (08/25/2013) [-]
well i dont know about you but i'd still be speaking welsh
#112 to #110 - bassline (08/25/2013) [-]
Well said
Well said
User avatar #87 to #82 - apocalypticburrito (08/25/2013) [-]
they say they want to turn part of south England and part of north France into something else called arc manche
also England hates France more than the BP hates Muslims
there's talk of even leaving the EU cause they wont stop this crap till we do
quote “The Arc Manche is the perfect Euro project. Nobody wants it, nobody called for it and nobody knows what it’s for"
tl;dr **** this

User avatar #107 to #87 - bassline (08/25/2013) [-]
What the **** is that arc machine?
User avatar #108 to #107 - apocalypticburrito (08/25/2013) [-]
arc manche
its the "new" south Britain
they said there's gonna be clowns
User avatar #109 to #108 - bassline (08/25/2013) [-]
So would France loose some of its land or England? Because I live in Kent so this would effect me.
User avatar #111 to #109 - apocalypticburrito (08/25/2013) [-]
its a bit of both
south england and north france would merge and have travel routes the combined would be called arc manche
that's what the news articul said anyway
[spoiler] also they want to spend 5.5 mill on a clown tour
yay clowns [/spoiler]
User avatar #83 to #82 - Loppytaffy (08/25/2013) [-]
Pretty sure Canada gets along fine with both languages.
User avatar #84 to #83 - bassline (08/25/2013) [-]
But the UK isn't Canada is it.
User avatar #85 to #84 - Loppytaffy (08/25/2013) [-]
The merge never happened.
But the point is you cannot judge it on laungage.

Most of England speaks Polish these days anyway...
#119 to #85 - eastii (08/25/2013) [-]
everyone here is now more stupid for reading your comments.
User avatar #156 to #82 - picamix (08/25/2013) [-]
it couldnt happen both countries would protest, we hate each other for no reason
User avatar #155 to #76 - picamix (08/25/2013) [-]
dude this could never happen, English and French people hate each other unconditionally.
User avatar #174 to #155 - Loppytaffy (08/25/2013) [-]
England owned Calais after the 100yrs war.
England used the back of the 7yrs war to take Canada or Seychelles from France. France chose to lose Canada.
England and France faught in America's Revolution, too. (Hesse, Germany helped the English side but just got blind drunk instead of fighting).
But in 1655, France and England attacked Spain, together.

See, France and England are like those brothers that claim to hate eachother, fight over everything, constantly at eachother's throats. But you don't **** with one without getting the wrath of the other; "it's my job to piss off England/France, not your's, **** off."
#6 - scruffyguy (08/24/2013) [-]
Britain: Man brutally killed in the street with a knife and nobody tried to save him despite the large amount of people who could clearly view it occurring.
User avatar #39 to #6 - olmesy (08/25/2013) [-]
Didn't that happen like 8 years ago? Or has it happened again?
#51 to #39 - rovor (08/25/2013) [-]
It happened a few months ago, May i think
#80 to #6 - songemot (08/25/2013) [-]
Oh sure! Let's talk about all the knife killings! Let's just ignore the fact that we're prepared for banana attacks! I guess the prevention of thousands of banana murders isn't good enough for you, eh?
User avatar #60 to #6 - srapture (08/25/2013) [-]
It was 2 crazy ******* with machetes. I don't know about you, but I be weary approaching them under any circumstances.
User avatar #166 to #60 - thenukecity (08/25/2013) [-]
Hit em with a car.
User avatar #176 to #166 - srapture (08/25/2013) [-]
That would be a double attempted murder, and you'd be put in prison for a long time.
User avatar #177 to #176 - thenukecity (08/25/2013) [-]
Well then th fact that they had machetes doesn't matter now does it?
User avatar #178 to #177 - srapture (08/25/2013) [-]
The best course of action would clearly be to throw pillows at them that have been moistened with coke. This will be mildly unpleasant, and they know how sticky it'll be later if they leave it, so they will retreat.
User avatar #136 - thoracrian (08/25/2013) [-]
Britain: Queen goes to Scotland
America: Terrorist strikes Boston
Britain: What did Kate Middleton wear today
America: Detroit goes bankrupt
Britain: Royal baby's first steps.
#130 - ShockedNazi (08/25/2013) [-]
meanwhile in Britain
meanwhile in Britain
User avatar #33 - sergeantpopeye (08/25/2013) [-]
But the thing is, in America if a cannibal did eat off someone's face no one would care.

But.......

In Britain if stamps actually did go up 14 pence there would be mass riots, billions of pounds worth of damage and a complete change in government
User avatar #184 to #157 - sergeantpopeye (08/25/2013) [-]
I thought you were going to tell me that stamps had really gone up fourteen pence. You had me worried for a second
#37 to #33 - anon (08/25/2013) [-]
But its true, a man on bathsalts ate a guys face off and got shot...14 times I think it was
User avatar #47 to #33 - mornanddusk (08/25/2013) [-]
Or we could employ our 'stiff upper lip'
User avatar #2 - frycook (08/24/2013) [-]
there's murder all over England, it just doesn't make the international news cause it's the same old same old
User avatar #3 to #2 - capslockrage (08/24/2013) [-]
It's a joke.
User avatar #4 to #3 - frycook (08/24/2013) [-]
o. okay then ^_^
User avatar #15 - dancingTrooper (08/25/2013) [-]
******* ******** , some sick twisted **** goes on up in britian
User avatar #54 to #15 - ghettograndpa (08/25/2013) [-]
Yeah, the stamps are getting expensive like this
#135 - weardowar (08/25/2013) [-]
Now this is some news i can get housed on!
#146 to #135 - hellpwnage (08/25/2013) [-]
High Laurie?
#150 to #146 - weardowar (08/25/2013) [-]
Hahahah you made the post even more funny xD
User avatar #67 - decieverofthegods **User deleted account** (08/25/2013) [-]
Reminds me of the Craig Campbell routine, he says:
You Brits just don't care about anything, nothing annoys you, the Americans on the other hand, they get so emotional over the smallest things.
they'd be at a pizza place and the pizza arrives and they just freak-out. They're all "I said no mushrooms dickhead, what you never made a pizza before huh chump? Want me to hop over this counter and show you how to make a goddamn pizza huh, arrgghh!!"
You Brits though, you'd be like "hey, we can pick the mushrooms off ourselves, a bit of free food as far as I'm concerned. In fact, you are looking at breakfast."
User avatar #158 to #67 - picamix (08/25/2013) [-]
yeah i pick the food off, honestly i get embarrassed when people complain
User avatar #161 to #67 - dumbasshunter (08/25/2013) [-]
exactly how i feel.

i mean, as bad as 9/11 was, it was an exaggeration. i mean, look at the British, we were bombed for almost 4 years every night.
#57 - defdkny (08/25/2013) [-]
weren't veterans like slaughtered in the streets of London?   
img not related
weren't veterans like slaughtered in the streets of London?
img not related
User avatar #62 to #57 - phawsy (08/25/2013) [-]
we did have something in the news about that... he was hacked to death with a machete for no reason in the middle of the street
User avatar #131 to #62 - lepokerface (08/25/2013) [-]
and beheaded
User avatar #132 to #131 - beheaded (08/25/2013) [-]
wait what did i do now?
User avatar #77 to #62 - destructodan **User deleted account** (08/25/2013) [-]
He was wearing a help for heroes t shirt
User avatar #64 to #62 - defdkny (08/25/2013) [-]
that was brutal
User avatar #24 - fhonax ONLINE (08/25/2013) [-]
**** the Butterflies, where are all the Bee's going!?
User avatar #42 to #24 - thorlak (08/25/2013) [-]
Actually we're having a really good year for bees. The pesticide that was found to be very harmful to them has been banned so they're on the rise again.
User avatar #44 - thelocksmith (08/25/2013) [-]
are.....are these stories real?! jesus america, you're ******* metal.
User avatar #129 to #44 - yourcomputer (08/25/2013) [-]
yes both are true a quick Google will find the news i believe both were on a bad batch of bath salts
#86 - dullscissors (08/25/2013) [-]
WAT?!
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