My father will hear of this friendship!. not mine, found on pleated jeans. brillig ; race: rawling neede to write a book new the eatery would have went If harry harry potter

My father will hear of this friendship!

My father will hear of this friendship!. not mine, found on pleated jeans. brillig ; race: rawling neede to write a book new the eatery would have went If harry

not mine, found on pleated jeans

Tags: harry | potter
brillig ; race:
rawling neede to write a book new the eatery would have went If harry had
en. -Hen malloy' s new In the we book
  • Recommend tagsx
Views: 32612
Favorited: 28
Submitted: 08/23/2013
Share On Facebook
Add to favorites Subscribe to zuckuss submit to reddit
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #1 - IAmManbearpig (08/24/2013) [-]
"their friendship destroyed all of the horcruxes, brought harry's parents back to life, everyone was Nic Cage, and nothing hurt. The End"
#23 to #1 - anon (08/24/2013) [-]
Cage is love. Cage is life.
User avatar #10 to #1 - vampireinarm (08/24/2013) [-]
when does the hardcover version come out?
#13 to #1 - FudgeCannon (08/24/2013) [-]
Yes. I like this.
User avatar #8 - bigmroark ONLINE (08/24/2013) [-]
I wanna read a version of harry potter, where he let the little piece of voldemort that is inside him to influence his actions to become the darkest wizard of all time, one that is so evil and powerful that voldemort himself fears the evil that is the boy who lived.
User avatar #25 to #8 - screamlikecb (08/24/2013) [-]
That's probably one of the best ideas I've heard in a while...
#26 to #8 - anon (08/24/2013) [-]
that's what happens later in Harry's life, he must kill Voldemort to do so, it was never stated that this could not have happened
User avatar #30 to #8 - rieskimo (08/24/2013) [-]
"The boy who lived" takes on a very dark sound when uttered then. Sounds better than "he who must not be named" too.
User avatar #41 to #30 - limb (08/24/2013) [-]
I second this.
User avatar #39 to #8 - daentraya (08/24/2013) [-]
"A magically-superpowered creative-genius psychopath wasn't a 'threat', it was an extinction event." A part of me wants Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality ending with Harry Potter becoming just that. Hell, he's been dancing near the line the whole story..
Well, I'm just talking to myself right now, since i doubt you know of this brilliant fanfic, but yes, i would love to read a Harry Potter story where that happens
#9 to #8 - luckoftheroll (08/24/2013) [-]
Except Harry isn't that great of a wizard...The only things stopping Voldemort from killing him was his mother's love and the connection between the wands.
User avatar #50 to #9 - xdeathspawnx (08/24/2013) [-]
Even if you discount Harry killing Voldemort he was still able to get past all of the traps to where the sorcerers stone is held, kill a basilisk, cast a patronus at 13, and defeat dozens upon dozens of dark wizards throughout books 5, 6, and 7. While I agree that he is not the strongest wizard in the series, you have to remember that he is only 17. If you compared 17 year old Harry to 17 year old Dumbledore he would seem almost as powerful, if not more.
User avatar #46 to #9 - vanillasmoke (08/24/2013) [-]
MY DUDE I AGREE! Or lady, my b. I think that harry is immensely powerful, but he isn't that great of a wizard. If you wanna discuss, I'm game.
#12 to #9 - anon (08/24/2013) [-]
And the fact that Harry is a ******* kid most of the series while Voldemort is like 60 or sth.
#14 to #8 - anon (08/24/2013) [-]
It's called Star Wars
#20 - Loppytaffy (08/24/2013) [-]
Actually, I think it woudl have been easier for him to get along with Snape, had this been the case. And he'd have access to more information about the Death Eathers related to Slytherin students.
It would have been easier for Harry to confide in Snape and to prevent deaths and such.

And Malfoy could have turned out better, less confused, if he had a close friend helping him come to terms with his inner conflict over where his loyalty lies.
User avatar #2 - hhhghhg (08/24/2013) [-]
"Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality" is kinda like this, but changes more then just the handshake

link to the story:
#16 to #2 - miyam (08/24/2013) [-]
To follow OPs suggestion more thoroughly, Dethryl wrote quite a large series actually called 'They Shook Hands'. While it is far from perfect, it is both well written and an interesting concept, so give it a go.

First Book follows:
User avatar #18 to #2 - iloveburzum (08/24/2013) [-]
Bloody glorious, its at least two and a half times better than the actual books. Which makes it at least 6/10
User avatar #60 to #18 - daentraya (08/25/2013) [-]
For me, it's perfect in every way, with humor on par with Douglas Adams, feels on par with.. I dunno. Awesome (in the old sense) moments on par with Lord of the Rings. And to me, plots on par with Artemis Fowl, with Harry Potter being probably smarter than him
I just love it dahm much. 11/10
User avatar #61 to #60 - iloveburzum (08/25/2013) [-]
Didn't like artemis fowl at all. World feels like there's two seperate lines of talented fantasy **** going on.

Good stuff like lord of the rings, The chronicles of thomas covenant, the tales of the malazan, **** like that. And then theres a lot of stuff aimed at children, that appears to be very successful, but which I find very dull. Harry potter and the like.
User avatar #62 to #61 - daentraya (08/25/2013) [-]
Artemis Fowl was an odd book to me. Felt like a childrens book, but then again, not at all. I quite liked the plots, and the anti hero thing. But the Atlantis Complex was quite ***** , i must say
Harry Potter is something you grow up with. You read the books as a child, and you end up many years later watching the much more serious last movies. I quite dislike the romanticism now, and prefer the opposite and how Rationality clashes the two, and lives on my childhood while fitting my current tastes
User avatar #63 to #62 - iloveburzum (08/25/2013) [-]
I enjoyed the methods of rationality partly for how it was written, and partly because its almost a mockery of rowling and her poor plot.
User avatar #65 to #63 - daentraya (08/25/2013) [-]
I like the tasteful humor. It's not a mockery in that sense, and Rowling was fine with it. I still want to remember Harry Potter as the nostalgic thing it was when i read/saw it, but the romanticism and plotholes in magic (which i find to be srs business, i prefer Artemis style magic) is unbearable to me now
User avatar #66 to #65 - iloveburzum (08/25/2013) [-]
I would suggest reading steven eriksons series, starting with the gardens of the moons. I massively respect his style, and also the magic is nigh flawless.
User avatar #67 to #66 - daentraya (08/25/2013) [-]
"high magic, and unusual plot structure"
I guess it's Tolkien style magic but with more structure or something? And as for the plot.. Now I'm curious. I might add this to my already long list that includes the entire Wheel of Time and A series of Unfortunate Events, as well as many Lovecraft books, this other book i have to read and.. Well, i will add it to my list

On the subject of 'meh' childrens stories that are popular; ever heard of children of the lamp? I has terrible magic plotholes, but yet i liked it. Read it long time ago
User avatar #68 to #67 - iloveburzum (08/25/2013) [-]
Nah, not really tolkien style, but super cool.
The wheel of time series is awesome as hell, but I wouldn't bother with a series of unfortunate events. Depends on your age actually, I guess when I was about thirteen I was reading a mix of kids fantasy and adult. Chronicles of narnia is worth a read too. I've never read lovecraft, but I really really should.

I've never heard of children of the lamp, sorry. There are some really dodgy fantasy books that i've enjoyed too haha. Some authors are bloody awful, but manage to keep me reading regardless!

Raymond E Fiest has some good stuff too. The magician is excellent. (but a little childish)
User avatar #69 to #68 - daentraya (08/25/2013) [-]
I just saw the movie, and it have a thing for that style. 'A series of Unfortunate Events' seems to be a premise i would enjoy. And Narnia; seen the movie, they were fine, but the book seems a bit long to add on an already overcrowded list when i have seen the movie. I always read first, then watch later, but Narnia escaped that, so now I don't really want to read it
Lovecraft is really dahm weird. I got a book, read a story, and was surprised at how short the tales are. He sets up many places, many things, but never seems to go that far into it. It's not much scary, but more.. Peculiar. It's a series of peculiar tales. I read one a day at school, in order to familiarize myself with the writing style

The Magicians Nephew? Never heard of that. It reminded me of a book i remember to have the name of 'The magician' which seemed so childish and tough to read through that i quickly gave up.
And now that we're talking to much about fantasy stories, i really should get to The Warrior series, or Josefine Ottesons Mira series.. Read them so long ago, and i remember none of it, other than the fact that they were rather great
User avatar #70 to #69 - iloveburzum (08/25/2013) [-]
The magicians nephew is the first book in the chronicles of narnia I think... **** its been a while since i've read them. No, the magician by raymond e fiest follows a boy called pug, or something, who becomes a magician (surprise surprise) But its set in a "everyone uses swords and some are magicians and theres gonna be a war" world.

Yeah, you have enough on your plate for now, get reading soldier!
User avatar #71 to #70 - daentraya (08/25/2013) [-]
So many books, so little tiiime. And all the books i have to reread. Dahm i have a lot of that. A book about a little girl named Ping and her dragon, Eragon and his dragon, the Warrior series, Mira series.. Ahh I'm so dahm busy
User avatar #72 to #71 - iloveburzum (08/25/2013) [-]
No no, rereading is for when you've read everything, have no money for more books, and are desperately hunting around your house for something to read! Save them and savour them!
User avatar #73 to #72 - daentraya (08/25/2013) [-]
I forget 98% of both books, and i liked them so much. I want to read them again. It's like being blessed with amnesia so you can enjoy a book again. If i had that on demand, i would read Methods of Rationality and Hitchhikers so many times, and giggle my heart out for days on end
User avatar #74 to #73 - iloveburzum (08/25/2013) [-]
Terry pratchetts books are good for a laugh too my man.
Anyway, I'm going to ditch this thread of book suggestions, and carry on my stroll through funnyjunk. Hope you enjoy whatever you choose to read.
User avatar #75 to #74 - daentraya (08/25/2013) [-]
And imma go watch some videos, read what i currently have at school tomorrow. I hope fj is entertaining this fine morning
User avatar #3 to #2 - guffspeak (08/24/2013) [-]

If you follow this link there is a non-zero chance that you will find the originals unreadable by comparison.
#4 to #3 - lordraine (08/24/2013) [-]
This will be because you will have clawed your eyes out due to the sheer amount of wank around the halfway point.

Friends don't let friends do Methods of Rationality.
User avatar #5 to #4 - guffspeak (08/24/2013) [-]
Oh really? Ty for the heads up.
#6 to #5 - lordraine (08/24/2013) [-]
I write fanfiction myself, and give others constructive criticism on it. Fair due be given to where it is earned, Methods ranges from pretty good to great for the first six or so chapters.

The problem is that he has now written almost as much as the entire series in terms of words, we still aren't out of First Year, and he's kind of gone off the rails. Like, way, way off the rails.

It's basically story overkill. He's made everything so dense that it's almost impossible to read it past a certain point. Just look at the stats. 97 chapters, 548,686 words. We still aren't out of Year One.

And Less Wrong is kind of an arrogant cunt. He doesn't accept criticism. At all. People have tried to give him solid, honest, constructive feedback before that isn't blatant sucking up, but just outlining things he's doing right and pointing out flaws or things he's forgotten or done wrong, and he either ignores or lashes out at all of it. It started out as a cool story, but that was sixty chapters and about three self-generated dramastorms ago. It's been going on for years. At this point, I personally couldn't honestly care less about Wrong or anything he does. His smugness can only be tolerated to a certain point before you just want to clock the bastard.

You can read it if you want. But I'd seriously, no lie stop around chapter 20 or so. 25 at the very outside. You can keep going if you want, but, well. Just go far enough to start to see the downhill incline, and decide for yourself.
User avatar #51 to #6 - daentraya (08/24/2013) [-]
Don't compare the story to the original harry potter. It's just a stupid move. It is it's own story. Harry doesnt need to get out of first year to beat utter ass, since he's a ******* genius.

Overkill? It's overly dahm full of greatness. Im too lazy to use proper words to describe it, but if you can't read past a certain point, you obviously aint the type this story is meant to appeal to; People who like humerous, serious, witty, clever, awesome, and just incredible battles of wits with twists and turns. It's a matter of opinion; some like it simple, others like it complicated.

And i repeat; He doesn't need to follow the year by year layout. Lots of text, each paragraph with the most delicious language which is just a pleasure to read. Again a matter of opinion; some like to read a lot of delicious language, others like it brief. Disliking a story for complexity and length is just bullocks

I cannot say anything about him as a person, other than i frikken love how he wrote everything i could ever want in a story and then took that to a new dahm level of brilliance. I find most of your dislike and points to be invalid.

So, to anyone else; Do you like a story with witty humour, epic moments that will make you sit in awe, plots that will make you think and then say 'aahh, brilliant', and lots of science and knowledge as a sidedish, all served in delicious language that just pleases anyone who likes good writing? Then read it. If you dont, don't read it. Dont listen to what he said; it's a matter of taste
#53 to #51 - lordraine (08/24/2013) [-]
>Don't compare the story to the original harry potter. It's just a stupid move.

I'm sorry, I must have missed the part where this was Harry Potter fanfiction. If Less Wrong wants his work to stand alone and not be compared to another setting or universe, then maybe he should start by not writing goddamn fanfiction.
User avatar #59 to #53 - daentraya (08/25/2013) [-]
Well, you sure are the cheery one, eh?
One might think to compare it to the original, but if you consider how far above the original he has gone with it, then it's merely borrowing a setting and a cast of characters and a few events, with which he has made frikken gold
It's his own story, his own epic which started out as an amusing comparison. What other fanfic has such length, such depth, and such original storyline?
#76 to #59 - lordraine (08/25/2013) [-]
>Well, you sure are the cheery one, eh?

I'm not going to apologize for being right. If he doesn't want his story compared to Harry Potter, then he shouldn't write it as a piece of Harry Potter fanfiction, and if you're honestly using arguments like "don't compare it to Harry Potter, it's a different story," I can only assume that you either don't know what you're talking about, or you're one of his groupies.

Fanfiction will always be compared to the original. That's kind of the entire freaking point. And whether or not he's "far above the original" is something I'd contest. The original Harry Potter series had flaws, but overall it was solid, had a lot of good parts, and didn't get up it's own ass.

You can't say any of those things about Methods. It fluctuates wildly in quality, it's not solid overall, it has very few genuinely good parts that aren't 'inspired' from other places like Ender's Game, and it's so far up it's own ass it needs a periscope to see where it's walking.

It's only a worthwhile read if you think Lionheart is a quality producer of entertaining literature. Some people like edgy for it's own sake, and are willing to swallow pretentious twaddle and passive plagiarism from far greater works. I couldn't give less of a **** , which is why I don't recommend it to anyone.
User avatar #79 to #76 - daentraya (08/26/2013) [-]
If there is plagiarism, then please understand the difference between loving someones work so much they inspire your own, and frankly i dont care. Even if his stories were segments of other peoples stories, i would still enjoy it, and then check out of the writers of the segments. That's how much i care about plagiasrism, as long as it's the respectful kind.

Also, it's quality is a matter of opinion. My opinion is that it's easily the best story i have read in terms of everything i love in a story, so hacking down on it because of your own opinion of quality is an invalid move. Really. Learn about something he has to teach you, and realize what a ****** argument that is.

Usually i just prod to someone who has a silly argument to see how far up their own **** they are, and i can already tell that you're perfectly fine eating it, and i shan't ruin your fun. I know when my time is wasted, and you're not even entertaining. The newest chapter was, even if it's main focus is not the humor
#15 to #6 - miyam (08/24/2013) [-]
To be fair, the length of the story is at least partially the point. We still aren't out of year one because the author never intended to go beyond the first year, and apparently there are only two story arcs left to go. Also, I generally don't care about whether or not an author is a pleasant person, as that does not affect the quality of a work.

I would, however, give the same recommendation that you have, and suggest that anyone try reading it just to see if it is something that they enjoy. Being possibly the most popular piece of fan-fiction overall, it seems like something that is worth a try, at the very least.
#21 to #15 - lordraine (08/24/2013) [-]
>as that does not affect the quality of a work.

It can, and it does. And it does in the case of Methods. Wong is quite clearly up his own ass by around the 40 mark, because the entire plot devolves into "Wrong takes a convention of the fandom, presents it with 'his own personal twist,' pretends that it's high art, repeat." It only gets worse as time goes on. He talk's like he's God's gift to amateur writing, and it comes across in his work even if you know nothing about the ********** he's caused.

And I don't know what kind of hipster you'd have to be to write a story that was deliberately longer than it should have ever been "because that's the point." The point of a story is to be entertaining, not to drag on for years and years and years. Methods stopped being anything remotely entertaining around the halfway mark.

Methods is like most things Lionheart writes. It starts out vaguely okay, and actually pretty good in some cases, but then jumps completely off into the deep end and rams itself so far up it's own ass that it is looking at the back of it's own teeth.
#54 to #21 - miyam (08/24/2013) [-]
What I'm trying to say is more along the lines that to a lot of people, the longer a story is the better. While it seems that you would not have enjoyed the story even if it wasn't its current absurd length, anyone who enjoys Wrong's writing style could only see the length as a positive. Had it been a short story, it wouldn't have reached anywhere near the popularity it currently has.

As I did not notice anything about Wrong's head and asses inside the actual story, I have to say that I'm doubtful about the whole author's personality affecting a story. On taking conventions of a fandom, I will point out that there are like 700,000 HP fanfictions on, and thus everything has been done at least once.

Despite that, I would say that Wrong uses quite a few story conventions that I haven't seen in the fandom before, and places a fairly interesting twist on the concept. Whether or not you enjoy the story is more a piece of personal preference, and I feel that you are allowing your dislike of the author to darken your judgement of the story.

While its clear that you will never like Methods, I'd still recommend anyone with a passing interest in fanfiction to try it.

Also, man, **** Lionheart. His story went so ******* that I just gave up.

#55 to #54 - lordraine (08/24/2013) [-]
Who are these "a lot of people?" I know of no one who will read War and Peace based solely on the thickness of the book.
#56 to #55 - miyam (08/24/2013) [-]
Me, for one. I kind of like having a long story, as it allows the author to flesh out the background, the characters, put in enjoyable side stories. Plus, finishing a novel in an hour or two just means that I'm entertained for less time.

Past that, maybe, I don't know, the ten thousand people who Favorited methods? Just a guess.
#57 to #56 - lordraine (08/24/2013) [-]
So it's not "a lot of people." You only actually have one person who would do that, i.e. yourself.
#58 to #57 - miyam (08/25/2013) [-]
Frankly, none of my friends read for pleasure, especially not fanfiction. As such, I can only use my own, and now your, opinions on book length to determine whether Methods length is a good thing. 50% is not a bad result.

Though I will stand by my earlier statement, as I presume that the fans of Wrong don't exactly despise the length of his writing.
User avatar #52 to #21 - daentraya (08/24/2013) [-]
If you have read the story, you'd know that it needs that lenght. Not giving it the space it needs would ruin much of the story, as it is all deliberately and thoroughly done. Lenght does affect the quality of a work, but here you got it entirely backwards
You really rustle my jimmies, you know. You're talking **** about my favorite piece of writing ever with invalid points and just a bothersome attitude
#48 to #4 - lefish (08/24/2013) [-]
That story was interesting for a bit, but got utterly unreadable.
That story was interesting for a bit, but got utterly unreadable.
User avatar #64 to #3 - daentraya (08/25/2013) [-]
You may just realize that Harry Potter did start out as childrens book, and realize how many plotholes there are with their magic, and realize that Romanticism is rather dull and predictable. If you just leave the memories of Harry Potter the way they were as you watched/read it, instead of comparing it, it'll still be that jolly nostalgic thing
User avatar #28 - lordlolland (08/24/2013) [-]
Both Harry and Neville fitted the prophecy, Voldemort feared and choose Harry because Harry was a half-blood like himself.

But what if he had chosen Neville because he feared that a pure-blood could become more powerful than himself?
User avatar #33 to #28 - xafwodash (08/24/2013) [-]
But Harry wasn't half blood, was he? neither of his parents were muggles whereas only Voldemort's mum had magical abilities.

I know that Lily was a 'mudblood' but I dunno if that'd affect Harry's 'status'. That said, I haven't read the books in ages so I may be chatting **** ...
#36 to #33 - anon (08/24/2013) [-]
it does affect their status. the books tells that there are few fullbloods left.
User avatar #34 to #33 - lordlolland (08/24/2013) [-]
While his mother was indeed a wizard, she was muggle born.
In the eyes of purists like Voldemort, half-bloods are anyone who is neither muggle born nor pure-blood.
User avatar #35 to #34 - xafwodash (08/24/2013) [-]
Thanks for clearing that up I'll have to go back and read the books again...
#38 - deadpeople (08/24/2013) [-]
I can't read fanfics for the reason that they don't have the same writing style as the real author and it annoys the **** out of me.
#40 to #38 - millex (08/24/2013) [-]
I agree it's just not the same.
I agree it's just not the same.
User avatar #42 - Tiwtin (08/24/2013) [-]
I want a book in the same universe that isn't revolving around Harry. Because he's not powerful at all. He's just lucky.
#37 - CptDinosaurMagee (08/24/2013) [-]
Basically it would be Mean Girls except with magic.
#29 - emberstar (08/24/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #22 - phoeniz (08/24/2013) [-]
Chaos Therory
User avatar #77 - atrumaliger (08/26/2013) [-]
Before anybody could respond to this ominous pronouncement, the dormitory doors opened
again and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley hurried up the ward. They had done no more than satisfy
themselves that Ron would make a full recovery on their last visit to the ward; now Mrs. Weasley
seized hold of Harry and hugged him very tighty.
“Dumbledore’s told us how you saved him with the bezoar,” she sobbed. “Oh, Harry, what can
we say? You saved Ginny…you saved Arthur…now you’ve saved Ron “Don’t be…I didn’t…” muttered Harry awkwardly.
“Half our family does seem to owe you their lives, now I stop and think about it,” Mr. Weasley
said in a constricted voice. “Well, all I can say is that it was a lucky day for the Weasleys when Ron
decided to sit in your compartment on the Hogwarts Express Harry.”
User avatar #78 to #77 - atrumaliger (08/26/2013) [-]
Half Blood Prince, page 265.
#49 - lefish (08/24/2013) [-]
If the Hogwarts Express got real tired of Voldemort's **** .
#45 - lefish (08/24/2013) [-]
They would have been friends, and Ron would have been all "He's an evil Slytherin!" and Harry would have been like "He's my FRIEND!" but then two days later Harry would be like, wait, Malfoy's racist and Ron's dumb, and then he'd make a friend who wouldn't hold him back, or be hella isolated and lonely, and throw himself into magic to escape that crushing desolation.
User avatar #32 - tisjunkisdamnfunny (08/24/2013) [-]
inb4 potter nerd tells you otherwise
User avatar #19 - epie (08/24/2013) [-]
This is one of the best fanfictions i have ever read it should be like a second book to be honest. Its from Snapes point of view and very Snape/Harry focused and yes, he and draco become friends ^^
#11 - teoferrazzi has deleted their comment [-]
 Friends (0)