Spoiling every book you will never read.. . iub;. r Dick: A guy named is on e boat looking for white whale. They find it E_ debentures of Finn: A be}; and a ..

Spoiling every book you will never read.

iub;. r Dick: A guy named is on e
boat looking for white whale. They find it
E_ debentures of Finn: A be}; and a ..
v,, sisnt' ti'' go on the run and people s' h" r‘ Byword a tut;
Too much If you ask me.
That’: all you need tihi' us) rai, 2, y you can spend..
the” rest gran summer ' ishmed and .
Whatever the hell 'tti' at freons.
  • Recommend tagsx
Views: 23713
Favorited: 43
Submitted: 08/14/2013
Share On Facebook
submit to reddit Add to favorites Subscribe to hairysmellyanus
Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #1 - leec (08/14/2013) [-]
Aw dam. I was planning on reading these three specific books too. I was excited to see what they were about, I never heard of them before.
#23 to #1 - anon (08/14/2013) [-]
Here's a more interesting version, to whet your interest:

Moby Dick: Ishmael joins a ship along with an African native, captained by a madman with a massive hate boner for a whale. There are super boring bits, like the chapter all about whale fat, but the ending is amazing.

Huckleberry Finn: Finn and a slave escape for adventures. Along the way, tons of people are murdered so hard that Finn can't even describe how hard, and there's a prison break. Also, the word " ****** " is said a lot. Your mileage may vary.

Hamlet: Incest, affairs, intrigue, tons of murder, and sword fights. It's radical.
User avatar #50 to #23 - keiishiyama (08/15/2013) [-]
Hamlet is ******* hardcore. I love it.
User avatar #10 to #1 - coldactill (08/14/2013) [-]
Damn, looks like all you can do for the rest of the summer is smoke weed and YOLO
#2 - shruiecken (08/14/2013) [-]
And Masterbating
And Masterbating
#4 to #2 - anon (08/14/2013) [-]
What's that? Trying to bait upper-class men?
#9 to #2 - inuares (08/14/2013) [-]
#55 - forevertrombone (08/15/2013) [-]
Ron Swanson, future president.
Ron Swanson, future president.
#57 - vladhellsing ONLINE (08/15/2013) [-]

Jesus dies.
User avatar #64 to #57 - nicolbolas (08/15/2013) [-]
I wasn't there yet, I'm still in psalms
User avatar #62 to #57 - heartlessrobot (08/15/2013) [-]
#3 - Wallinger (08/14/2013) [-]
chive on
User avatar #45 - hairysmellyanus [OP](08/15/2013) [-]
Let me spoil to kill a mockingbird. Nothing happens for like 200 grueling pages then a black guy dies. The end.
User avatar #53 to #45 - ScottP (08/15/2013) [-]
I actually liked how the characters grew throughout the book
User avatar #61 to #45 - exclamation (08/15/2013) [-]
Nineteen Eighty Five:
Some pencil-pusher who works under a authoritarian government blindly follows everything they do and engages in intercourse with some woman until he loves his government.
#46 to #45 - hisnameisjake (08/15/2013) [-]
I actually didnt have a problem reading that one :/
I actually didnt have a problem reading that one :/
User avatar #47 to #46 - navadae ONLINE (08/15/2013) [-]
agreed, rather enjoyable actually...

same with Of Mice and Men
User avatar #48 to #47 - hisnameisjake (08/15/2013) [-]
I liked the ending of To Kill a Mockingbird, when you find out that Boo Radley is cool as ****
User avatar #52 to #48 - pabloch (08/15/2013) [-]
I read To kill a mockingbird in two days, definitely one of my top 5 right now, despite myself being an avid fantasy reader
#6 - sarc (08/14/2013) [-]
Huckleberry Finn is the most important piece of literature I ever read.
Shame on you for thinking you can just skip over it and still be a true American.
#65 to #6 - nonanonnon ONLINE (08/15/2013) [-]
I read it and really don't see how it's supposed to be a classic. The boy and his slave go on some adventures and stuff. Readable, but not "whoa I want to show this to my great-grandchildren I'll never have"
User avatar #69 to #6 - huckleberry (08/15/2013) [-]
what a nice thing of you to say about me.
#11 to #6 - RageGuyyourmom (08/14/2013) [-]
Important literature.
The only reason Huck Finn is considered good is because it was the first americanized book, it was written in the southern drawl but if that exact same book was published today, maybe without the N word it wouldnt be as popular.

Huck Finn got so important when Clemens was alive because some critic bashed the **** out of it and a book that no one read suddenly became huge because of how big of a deal she made they all wanted to read it to see her problem with it.

But all in all it is a very mediocre book and in comparison to the hype it is pretty ****** to what it was built up to be in comparison to what it is.
#17 to #11 - sarc (08/14/2013) [-]
You ******* serious?
Did you seriously just say that?
You possess enough gray matter for your wrong opinion to form neural impulses in your woefully underdeveloped language center, and somehow send them past the major brain damage you sustained from miscellaneous dicks penetrating your mothers gaping cervix and striking your young nervous system, getting them to arrive at your motor cortex, and your attention pathways switched from jacking off to typing just long enough to push keys forming the words "in all it is a very mediocre book"?

You're a ******* miracle of modern medicine.
#18 to #17 - RageGuyyourmom (08/14/2013) [-]
An ad hominem attack? Really? Not even why you think the book is good just say my opinions are wrong because I am wrong, that's weak man.
User avatar #49 to #17 - keiishiyama (08/15/2013) [-]
Holy **** , dude...holy **** . I'm amazed at what I just read.
#12 to #6 - anon (08/14/2013) [-]
That book sucked ass.
User avatar #25 to #6 - akneegrow (08/14/2013) [-]
I really hated that book when I first started reading it, probably because it was mandatory reading for 5th grade. But by the time I finished it, I was beginning to like it, and when we discussed it in class, I realized that I truly enjoyed it a lot.
User avatar #21 - lordcommandersnow (08/14/2013) [-]
Summer Reading Recap with Nick Offerman Source
User avatar #5 - plutarkus (08/14/2013) [-]

im sorry, but nothing beats twyin lannister reading 50 shades of gray
User avatar #59 to #5 - hudis ONLINE (08/15/2013) [-]
Dear gods, I had no idea that 50 Shades of Gray was actually that bad.
User avatar #7 to #5 - gammajk ONLINE (08/14/2013) [-]
What about gilbert gottfried reading 50 shades of gray?
#60 - anon (08/15/2013) [-]
If there's a play by Shakespeare that has a person's name in the title (Hamlet, Romeo and Juliette, etc.), they're probably going to die.

User avatar #14 - curtkobain (08/14/2013) [-]
I had to "read" huck finn and ethan frome for summer homework and do some work about them.

God I love Spark Notes.
#15 to #14 - anon (08/14/2013) [-]
summer homework?
User avatar #16 to #15 - curtkobain (08/14/2013) [-]
#19 to #14 - freespeech has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #37 to #19 - curtkobain (08/15/2013) [-]
and the problem is it's books that I don't want to read. I'd rather read a fantasy book like lotr or a dystopian book like the divergent series. I don't enjoy reading classics.
#56 to #37 - freespeech has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #13 - fireprincess (08/14/2013) [-]
Kinda unrelated but the worst book I ever attempted to read was the old man and the sea. I made it through like the first chapter, if that. I had to read it for my ninth grade English class. I failed that class.....
User avatar #22 to #13 - alexthebest (08/14/2013) [-]
I somehow read "first book" you read in ninth grade and I assumed you were a moron. I apologize.
User avatar #27 to #22 - fireprincess (08/14/2013) [-]
That's ok. You are forgiven.
#28 to #27 - rimjobmcgee (08/14/2013) [-]
I'm conflicted. I want to call you a moron for barely reading the first chapter, if that, and judging an entire book, but I detest Ernest Hemingway and want to call you brilliant for realizing his literary fallacy so easy. You showed no aversion to reading though, so I'm concluding your likely brilliant and giving you my thumbs
User avatar #29 to #28 - fireprincess (08/14/2013) [-]
Well thank you. I do not have any aversion to reading. I'm an avid reader and love books. I attempted to read the old man and the sea a few times, I just could not get through said book.
#31 to #29 - rimjobmcgee (08/14/2013) [-]
Ah, if only I could give you more than thumbs. I find literary appreciation such a rare thing these days, and what is valued is terrible. You not only read for enjoyment, but have wellformed opinions on what's worth reading and what isn't. Truly a diamond in the rough world we live in these days
User avatar #33 to #31 - fireprincess (08/14/2013) [-]
Sadly I know what you mean all too well. There are too few people who appreciate good literature these days. It saddens me that such a wonderful art form and means of expression doesn't get the recognition it deserves.
User avatar #44 - blackandgold (08/15/2013) [-]
Catcher in the Rye: ****
User avatar #26 - cutiepyro (08/14/2013) [-]
lord of the rings: snape kills dumbledore
User avatar #43 to #26 - hairysmellyanus [OP](08/15/2013) [-]
User avatar #63 - chuffberry (08/15/2013) [-]
in AP Lit i was forced to read the Canterbury Tales and it may well have been the worst experience of my life.
User avatar #70 to #63 - hairysmellyanus [OP](08/17/2013) [-]
I had to read three of them. Awful.
User avatar #54 - thereandbackagain (08/15/2013) [-]
So far I seem to be on of the few people who CANNOT stand to ready almost anything by Nathaniel Hawthorne, That **** pisses me off, I'm not sure why but I legit hate it all.
#42 - anon (08/15/2013) [-]
Ron ******* Swanson
User avatar #30 - retardedboss ONLINE (08/14/2013) [-]
It's cliche, but it's true: A journey isn't about the destination, it's about how you get there.

As such, the ending of a book is of little importance if you don't know how/why it culminates in that way.

Spoiler tags hide GoT/ASOIAF spoilers, just FYI.

Everyone knows that hamlet dies, that doesn't mean you shouldn't read the play.

I was told before I had even gotten to a Clash of Kings that Jon dies , but didn't stop me from reading on. In fact it actually let me feel kind f smug after coming to the conclusion that he didn't die, and everyone that actually thinks he did missed some very key plot points.
#41 to #30 - verby (08/15/2013) [-]
Also character's never die and stay dead whenever Martin writes from their viewpoint
User avatar #51 to #41 - retardedboss ONLINE (08/15/2013) [-]
THANK YOU! I feel like I'm the only one that ever notices that.

There's more to writing than what it seems, and a lot of people miss motifs like that. Anyone who's read the book and has any analytical skills at all would come to the conclusion I did. The evidence is overwhelming.
#66 to #51 - verby (08/15/2013) [-]
Also he can't die because he's CLEARLY Azor Ahai
User avatar #67 to #66 - retardedboss ONLINE (08/15/2013) [-]
Right, that's one of those plot points everyone seems to miss.
#68 to #67 - verby (08/15/2013) [-]
Eh, a lot of people tend to discard the whole theory out of hand. The other part of this theory is that it makes Rhaegar a bigger hero than anyone realizes
 Friends (0)