This nigga. . DO YOU GET TO THE FRONTPAGE VERY OFTEN? I AM I KIDDING, OF COURSE YOU DON' T!. I soul captured, assassinated, and enchanted him into some boots that let me carry more weight. walked all over the cloud district in those boots.
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[ 127 comments ]
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User avatar #36 - imdrwiggles (08/13/2013) [-]
I soul captured, assassinated, and enchanted him into some boots that let me carry more weight.

******* walked all over the cloud district in those boots.
#101 to #36 - mcswoof (08/13/2013) [-]
God damn that is the most brutal thing i have heard all month.
User avatar #125 to #36 - commontroll ONLINE (08/13/2013) [-]
I steal his own dagger, then cast a berserk spell on him while he's asleep so he kills his own wife, then I soul trap him, kill him with his own dagger, and then enchant said dagger with a fear enchantment and name it after him, and then hang it on the wall of my home.
User avatar #100 to #36 - daentraya (08/13/2013) [-]
I wish the soulgems carried the name of the one whose soul you took. I hope there's a mod for this. Together with a mod to be able to kill everyone, i could have the whole population of skyrim thrown on the floor beneath the throne in Solitude, and look at them and think 'aah, this ****** and 'oh braith you little cunt'
User avatar #89 to #36 - messerauditore (08/13/2013) [-]
I just leave the gem containing his soul in the pool/moat at dragonsreach. Now the ****** can spend eternity in the Cloud District.
#99 to #89 - anon (08/13/2013) [-]
You should leave it somewhere else so he can spend eternity not getting to the cloud district very much.
#104 to #99 - imdrwiggles (08/13/2013) [-]
The pond in the old dark brotherhood sanctuary might do nicely...
The pond in the old dark brotherhood sanctuary might do nicely...
User avatar #37 to #36 - jacodpwns (08/13/2013) [-]
thats brutal
#6 - thehardstudynot (08/12/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #10 to #6 - majormoron (08/13/2013) [-]
This gif lacks subtitles for the sound he makes when he gets hit at the end, which in my opinion is the funniest part of the segment.

www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=DM8krWnU0uQ&t=154

I lost it the first time I saw it.
User avatar #40 - burdenedsoul ONLINE (08/13/2013) [-]
>be playing skyrim
>have dawnguard
>fast travel to whiterun to sell ****
>suddenly get attacked by master vampires
>fierce fighting ensues
>after the battle has calmed down and i loot the vampires, i go to belethor's
>expect to see nazeem and try my best to quell my ever growing rage at this total jackbag
>nothing... silence
>go look to the bodies again
>nazeem is laying in the ditch next to the front gate
>proceed to teabag the **** out of his corpse
>yell "now who's REALLY going to the cloud district, bitch?!"
#5 - ChromedDragon ONLINE (08/12/2013) [-]
hey

actually that's very accurate, considering i stopped posting
#43 to #5 - tealkangaroo (08/13/2013) [-]
i like your posts
User avatar #59 to #5 - SirVladimir (08/13/2013) [-]
I loved your posts!
User avatar #60 to #59 - ChromedDragon ONLINE (08/13/2013) [-]
I just made one
User avatar #61 to #60 - SirVladimir (08/13/2013) [-]
Let me rephrase: I loved your content.
User avatar #66 to #61 - ChromedDragon ONLINE (08/13/2013) [-]
I mean,I just made a comic
User avatar #74 to #66 - SirVladimir (08/13/2013) [-]
Oh, are you gonna post it?
User avatar #75 to #74 - SirVladimir (08/13/2013) [-]
Nevermind, I found it.
#69 - haker (08/13/2013) [-]
#62 - felixjarl ONLINE (08/13/2013) [-]
User avatar #70 to #62 - keiishiyama (08/13/2013) [-]
How do you decapitate people in the game? Does it have to be done with a specific weapon or something? I use bows and one-handed swords.
#71 to #70 - felixjarl ONLINE (08/13/2013) [-]
I used double handed swords and 2 handed axe on another character, both work.
I used double handed swords and 2 handed axe on another character, both work.
User avatar #72 to #71 - keiishiyama (08/13/2013) [-]
So you need to use two-handed weapons...that explains Birgirpall's Yakety Sax skit.
#73 to #72 - felixjarl ONLINE (08/13/2013) [-]
Sorry wrong  typing: 2 1 handed swords and 2 hand axe.
Sorry wrong typing: 2 1 handed swords and 2 hand axe.
User avatar #76 to #70 - drainbramage (08/13/2013) [-]
You can use any 1 handed weapon to do it, there's a perk that lets you do it, also boosts attack I think.
#90 to #76 - vicanimus (08/13/2013) [-]
There's a perk for 2-handed weapon decapitations as well
User avatar #95 to #90 - drainbramage (08/13/2013) [-]
Ah, I don't use 2 handed weapons so I was not aware of that.
#53 - curtt (08/13/2013) [-]
#56 to #55 - curtt (08/13/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#68 - sebgun ONLINE (08/13/2013) [-]
I have lost count of how many times i've brutally murdered that guy   
   
Gif kinda related
I have lost count of how many times i've brutally murdered that guy

Gif kinda related
User avatar #79 to #68 - heartlessrobot (08/13/2013) [-]
Why is Nazir in Dragonsreach?
User avatar #82 to #79 - kingrayne ONLINE (08/13/2013) [-]
hes up the jarls backside.
User avatar #83 to #82 - heartlessrobot (08/13/2013) [-]
That's Nazeem. Nazir is the redguard from the Dark Brotherhood.
User avatar #84 to #83 - kingrayne ONLINE (08/13/2013) [-]
shhhhh
#67 - anon (08/13/2013) [-]
This is what I dislike about Skyrim. He says do you ever go up to the jarls place (forgot the name been too long), and then he says ofcourse not.
****** it's only walking up 2 ******* stairs... There are only about 25 people in the entire village so shut the **** up.

The whole village scale was way too small. They should have made that waaaay bigger
#4 - downtrail (08/12/2013) [-]
**downtrail rolled a random image posted in comment #10 at Best DBZ Movie Ending Ever ** the reason I can't get to the front page.
#41 to #4 - doritosandwich (08/13/2013) [-]
**doritosandwich rolled a random image posted in comment #5662908 at Bronysexuals **   
   
The reason I never get to the front page
**doritosandwich rolled a random image posted in comment #5662908 at Bronysexuals **

The reason I never get to the front page
#8 to #4 - anon (08/13/2013) [-]
Because you only roll comments?
+1
#29 to #4 - blackdaddy has deleted their comment [-]
#77 to #29 - affects (08/13/2013) [-]
What did the other half do?
+1
#127 to #77 - blackdaddy has deleted their comment [-]
#64 - thechosentroll (08/13/2013) [-]
He was the first civilian NPC I ever killed in that game. My only regret is that I did it indoors and his body despawned in a week or so. He would have made a wonderful addition to my corpse pile.
User avatar #80 to #64 - heartlessrobot (08/13/2013) [-]
I killed him and Heimskr.
#3 - lodewijkbob ONLINE (08/12/2013) [-]
I don't have any appropriate reaction pics, but godspeed. Hope you make front page.
I don't have any appropriate reaction pics, but godspeed. Hope you make front page.
#52 - kaboomz (08/13/2013) [-]
This image has expired
************* nazeem

i hate that ****** redguard
User avatar #20 - idoliam (08/13/2013) [-]
What the **** did you just ******* say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in High Hrothgar, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Imperial Legion, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top archer in all of Skyrim. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the **** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen by the Nine, mark my ******* words. You think you can get away with saying that **** to me? Think again, ****** . As we speak I am contacting The Dark Brotherhood, better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re ******* dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my Fists of Steel. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Stormcloak Rebellion and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little **** . If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ******* tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will **** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re ******* dead, kiddo.
#51 to #20 - shishiko **User deleted account** (08/13/2013) [-]
What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I’ve led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o’ swag. I’ll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o’ pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o’ monsoon that’ll wipe ye off the map. You’re sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o’er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o’ the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I’ll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o’ the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn’t, ye didn’t, and now ye’ll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I’ll **** fury all over ye and ye’ll drown in the depths o’ it. You’re fish food now.
User avatar #57 to #20 - justsomechickyo (08/13/2013) [-]
What the potato did you just potating say about me, you little potato? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my potato in the potato Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on potato, and I have over 300 confirmed potatoes. I am trained in potato warfare and I’m the top potato in the entire US potato forces. You are nothing to me but just another potato. I will wipe you the potato out with precision the likes of which has never been potatoed before on this Earth, mark my potatoes. You think you can get away with saying that potato to me over the potato? Think again, potato. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of potatoes across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, potato. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your potato. You’re potting potato, potato. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can potato you in over seven hundred potatoes, and that’s just with my bare potatoes. Not only am I extensively trained in potato combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United potatoes Marine potatoes and I will use it to its full potato to wipe your miserable potato off the face of the potato, you little potato. If only you could have known what unholy potato your little “potato” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your potating potato. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the potato, you potato-potato potato. I will potato all over you and you will drown in it. You’re potting a dead potato kid
User avatar #22 to #20 - imperial (08/13/2013) [-]
u wut m8?
#24 to #22 - idoliam (08/13/2013) [-]
only one I could find related to TES
User avatar #23 to #22 - idoliam (08/13/2013) [-]
YOL-TOOR-SHUL
User avatar #26 to #23 - imperial (08/13/2013) [-]
Pay with your blood.
User avatar #48 to #20 - leagetshitpack (08/13/2013) [-]
What the desu did you just ******* desu about me, you little desu? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my desu in the Navy Desus, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret desus on Al-Desu, and I have over 300 confirmed desus. I am trained in desu warfare and I’m the top desu in the entire US armed desu. You are nothing to me but just another desu. I will desu you the **** out with desu the likes of which has never been seen before on this desu, mark my ******* desu. You think you can get away with saying that desu to me over the desu? Think again, desu. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of desu across the USA and your desu is being traced right now so you better prepare for the spam, maggot. The spam that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your desu. You’re ******* desu, kid. I can be desu, desu, and I can desu you in over desu ways, and that’s just with my bare desu. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed desu, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Desu and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable desu off the face of the desu, you little desu. If only you could have known what unholy desu your little “desu” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ******* desu. But you desu, you desu, and now you’re desu, you goddamn desu. I will **** desu all over you and you will drown in it. You’re ******* desu, kiddo.
User avatar #39 - randallthegreat (08/13/2013) [-]
Killed him, revived him and killed him again
User avatar #21 - sanshi (08/13/2013) [-]
Would of been funny if you actually quoted him correctly...
User avatar #58 - youririshdrunk (08/13/2013) [-]
god i hated nazeem, there was no enjoyment more pure than killing him.
#2 - razerdude (08/12/2013) [-]
good luck to the front page
good luck to the front page
User avatar #93 - IamEllis (08/13/2013) [-]
"It would be a shame if someone ravaged the area"
#94 to #93 - captaincapital (08/13/2013) [-]
**captaincapital rolled a random image posted in comment #14 at Children Of The Night ** Silence idiot, riddled with filth
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