how groups/squads end up in general. description is a lie.. Story time >Just start D&D campaign with group of friends >Make myself a cleric because clerics are the >Campaign starts with us waking up in demol i got Cake
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#4 - freakeyebilly
Reply +176
(08/03/2013) [-]
Story time ********
>Just start D&D campaign with group of friends
>Make myself a cleric because clerics are the ****
>Campaign starts with us waking up in demolished town
>Orcs everywhere, bout to **** self
>Our group is cornered, DM ******* laughing hysterically
>Orc swings his axe down to kill me and it's blocked
>************* Brave Sir Robin and his minstrels to the rescue
>Robin rapes the orcs
>Last orc dead, fellin victorious
>Out of nowhere, Orion, the DM, hurls a cow that crushes Robin
>Look around, see ****** frenchy up on the walls surrounding town
>Don't know what to do, shart slightly after seeing next cow inbound for my face
>Try to dodge
>rolled a 3
>First death in D&D is by Cow-tapult
#114 to #4 - fullosprey
Reply -3
(08/03/2013) [-]
**fullosprey rolls 29** dubs means caught cow and threw it back
#116 to #114 - fullosprey
Reply -3
(08/03/2013) [-]
I guess I'm ****** then...
#52 to #4 - jduttonboom
Reply 0
(08/03/2013) [-]
your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!
#145 to #4 - anon
Reply 0
(08/04/2013) [-]
Well it wasn't your cowtafault.. Okay thank god I didn't log in.
#198 to #4 - skrynox
Reply 0
(08/04/2013) [-]
**skrynox rolls 9** "Rolled a 3"
#54 to #4 - darkhaitsu **User deleted account**
Reply +2
(08/03/2013) [-]
This image has expired
>Starts D&D
>I am a doppelganger cursed by a blood golem
>My only weapon is a little knife to cut myself to unleash my power
>No one knows
>First night we sleep in a Inn
>One man from our group finds me extremely sexy
>We do not have enough money so we have to share rooms
>********.jpg i'm with that guy and he decide to **** my character
>Day 2
>Leave town
>Ambushed by orcs
>I say ''I got this'' then proceed to cut my arm, let the blood flow out and make the orc's heads explode
>wat.jpg 4 people out of our 6 people group are vampires
>They kill me and drink my blood
>That guy that ****** me suicide himself
>MFW on the first fight 2 of our adventurers dies not by creatures but by our group himself.
#55 to #4 - sacker
Reply +3
(08/03/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#11 to #4 - genasi
Reply +4
(08/03/2013) [-]
low level campaigns are the best! you can still actually die from random **** instead of just having to worry about the wizard aiming his empowered maximized twinned meteor shower a bit away from you (then again you're probably immune to fire anyway). I once watched my guys wading through hordes of nasty falchion wielding orcs, only to die when trying to cross a river with a single snake in it. All of them.

Though they did come back with later fresh characters to rid the area of a recently founded cult worshipping the great river serpent
#62 to #4 - pseudobob **User deleted account**
Reply +6
(08/03/2013) [-]
Ok, my first game of D&D 4.0. this is not about me, this is about my friend who keeps getting us into trouble and losing his characters

>first character is Qsteve; Q is silent, he says
>Half Dwarf, half Fire Giant,
>must have been one hell of a honeymoon
>infiltrating booby-trapped cave, going side passage
>roll epic stealth and go into main room, see a bunch of Kruthiks ******* around laying eggs, nothing spots me
>Qsteve SPRINTS in without stealth
>DM says "Roll for initiative", the first fight of our game
>a dozen hatchlings dig out of the floor and prepare to beat our lvl. 1 asses
>Qsteve survives within an inch of his life, we're doing a lot better
>Steals a magical bell from werewolf fighter, the defacto leader
>Rings it
>"Roll for initiative"
Goddamn it, Qsteve.
#66 to #62 - pseudobob **User deleted account**
Reply +3
(08/03/2013) [-]
Part 2, Qsteve's legacy

>further into the dungeon
>magic-laced dead bodies piled on the floor in the last room
>notsuspiciousatall.png
>Dragonborn guy has great idea to tie a rope around one of their legs and holds it over a spike-pit
>everyone else in position around some coffin, retrieve magical artifact that was the entire point of this quest
>Qsteve steals it yet again
>Dragonborn pulls zombie-on-a-rope into pit
>"Roll for initiative"
>Six ghouls come out of the walls, all the zombies wake up (except for the one at the bottom of the spike-pit)
>Qsteve can't handle it, IC screams and runs away
>Runs across cracked bridge, it breaks
>Hits face on edge, knocked out
>Falls into freezing river, drowns immediately
>his corpse and the artifact are swept down-river and into a dark pit, never seen again
At least he's out of our hair for the rest of the current session
#67 to #66 - pseudobob **User deleted account**
Reply +3
(08/03/2013) [-]
Part 3, the relative

His next character was seemingly less obnoxious, but still retarded
>literally retarded
>vampire with an INT of 4
>In-universe has severe brain-damage
>wakes up from previous session in a stone room
>licks one of the walls, it opens because of bad management
>another hidden door in his way, doesn't respond to licking
>he finds a crystal that has been proven to open these doors
>eats it
>vampires don't have a working digestive tract, he can't get it back without pulling his entrails out which is a guaranteed kill in the DM's book
>forced to sit out for a couple hours until a more capable, less retarded character comes to help him
#68 to #67 - pseudobob **User deleted account**
Reply +2
(08/03/2013) [-]
Forgot to mention, this drooling vampire was named Tsekier and is somehow Qsteve's cousin
#26 to #4 - theturtletrolley
Reply +7
(08/03/2013) [-]
>Playing D&D with my group   
>Just started maybe 5th week playing   
>All chilling at the tavern   
>Try to bang the wench   
>Roll an 18   
>She wants my Elf dick   
>Go to use a pick up line   
>Are those space pants, Because your ass is out of this world   
>Wheres the donkey and in what space?   
>**** you DM    
>Her dad sees me hitting on her   
>Massive ******* 9 foot tall roid ridden knobgoblin   
>Starts a huge barfight   
>My group helps out   
>We kill him and continue drinking   
>mfw we got out of it without a scratch and he owned the tavern.
>Playing D&D with my group
>Just started maybe 5th week playing
>All chilling at the tavern
>Try to bang the wench
>Roll an 18
>She wants my Elf dick
>Go to use a pick up line
>Are those space pants, Because your ass is out of this world
>Wheres the donkey and in what space?
>**** you DM
>Her dad sees me hitting on her
>Massive ******* 9 foot tall roid ridden knobgoblin
>Starts a huge barfight
>My group helps out
>We kill him and continue drinking
>mfw we got out of it without a scratch and he owned the tavern.
#5 to #4 - trailoftears
Reply +55
(08/03/2013) [-]
>Play D&D with friends, one buddy for the first time
>Let him get into it for quite some time, everything works out just fine
>He goes to sleep in an Inn
>wakes up, everything pitch black
>He tries to find some lamp or covered window
>doesn't find anything
>nobody knows the ***** going on, least of all him
>this continues for a few minutes
>he still can't see **** but he hears the normal noises from the Inn
>gives up after 20mins, doesn't manage to leave the pitch black room or whatever he's hin or find any source of light
>"So what the hell man?"
>"You forgot to open your eyes after awaking."
>Everyones face when


I don't sleep at inns anymore
#24 to #5 - beasert
Reply +5
(08/03/2013) [-]
I'm using that first chance I get.
#50 to #24 - trailoftears
Reply 0
(08/03/2013) [-]
prepare for headdesking.
#61 to #5 - wiredguy
Reply +1
(08/03/2013) [-]
So how exactly does D&D work?
This seems, pretty damn intricate.

It's a tabletop boardgame, isn't it?
#69 to #61 - trailoftears
Reply +5
(08/03/2013) [-]
Pen & Paper, usually you need nothing more than, well, pen and paper,regular dice, d20 (20-sided dice) and at least one guy or gal with a little experience. Some people use small boards to make it more of an actualy board game, but i'm no fan of that.

It's kinda to much to explain, but basically like every other RPG ever, you create a character, his class, some of his skills and talents and from then on it's just improvisation while sticking to a rulebook, you can do whatever your Director can come up with or pretty much whatever you want. Most things are then decided via diceroll, say you want to steal someone's money. You get a base value and add a number you rolled on the dice, they are added and matched against your victims perception etc. You can roll pretty much anything, even seemlingly trivial stuff like weather which is usefull with inexperienced Directors.

It's a LOT of fun when it's something you want. It's one of those hate or love things i guess. It mostly appeals to me because it has no borders, there's nothing except the chance of rolls stopping you from killing, stealing or fooling anyone you meet or play with, and best of all, it's one of the few things ever where it's fun to have horribly bad luck, as shown by the wonderful story of freakeyebilly up there.

(Sorry if some things are not correctly named, i never played D&D in english and it's been a while)


TL;DR It's a metric ******* of fun
#71 to #69 - wiredguy
Reply +2
(08/03/2013) [-]
Apparently I can't type today.

Hah, thank you.

There we go.
#70 to #69 - wiredguy
Reply 0
(08/03/2013) [-]
HAh, than kyou
#10 - jamesisawesome
Reply +113
(08/03/2013) [-]
>First time playing D&D
>All my friends trying to get me killed just to **** with me
>We enter a cave
>Not one, but two ************* dragons in there
>They all run at one of them
>I try to run after, but the other one blocks my path and I have to fight it alone
>After awhile, I lose my sword, have very little health left
>Pick up a rock and hit throw it
>Roll a critical
>MFW I killed it in one shot
#184 to #10 - spyisspy
Reply +2
(08/04/2013) [-]
**spyisspy rolled a random comment #3327059 posted by garymotherfingoak at Friendly ** :
im cold...
me when im your friend
#191 to #184 - joeledo
Reply 0
(08/04/2013) [-]
cold hearted. relevent roll
#152 to #10 - kandazz
Reply +3
(08/04/2013) [-]
That sounds an awful lot like Dwarf Fortress.
#216 to #152 - doubledisme
Reply +1
(08/04/2013) [-]
one time on DF adventure mode
three bandits ambush me and all my companions just got killed
kill two and beat the living **** out of the last one
the last one tries to (rather pathetically) to crawl away
so I bash his skull in with the pommel of my two-handed sword
#259 to #216 - kandazz
Reply 0
(08/04/2013) [-]
My best story was in dwarf mode, constructing a pump system for lava to be pumped up to the higher levels to just under where my planned forge was gonna be. 30x30 for multiple workshops an' ****, not huge though. But before I can place the last pump and block the baddies that spawn naturally there, a lava or fireman pops out while the construction dorf was down there. Said dorf happened to be recently adopted by a kitten. What happened next, was astounding. Fire/lavaman proceeds to burn the **** outa my dorf, this angers kitten. Kitten responds by beating the **** out of the fireman. Fireman ends up nearly dead just before my militia make it down to the commotion. The poor badass kitten died, but I wish I had another just like it because the near dead fireman kills my militia (10 dorfs) and then produces so much FUN for me, before dying to a tantrum-ing child. Good times.
#13 - highclassbean
Reply +63
(08/03/2013) [-]
sweet DnD is getting some recognition, i've got a few really good stories from /tg/
#16 to #13 - willindor
Reply 0
(08/03/2013) [-]
What the hell is DM fiat?
#17 to #16 - highclassbean
Reply +7
(08/03/2013) [-]
its when the DM just kinda does what he wants even when the rolls say differently. or like if a character everyone really loved in a game unexpectedly get caught in a landslide that should surly kill him because of some really unfortunate rolls the DM might throw a fiat and ******** his way how the character lived or was saved somehow
#19 to #17 - willindor
Reply 0
(08/03/2013) [-]
Ah so. First time that I have heard of life expectancy railroading. Thank you very much.
#118 to #13 - superpianobros
Reply +3
(08/03/2013) [-]
#119 to #118 - superpianobros
Reply +3
(08/03/2013) [-]
Forgot to say, above is part 1, this is part 2.
#171 to #119 - tehbawz
Reply +1
(08/04/2013) [-]
"THRAGMARR DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS"
#14 to #13 - highclassbean
Reply +22
(08/03/2013) [-]
commencing dump
#15 to #14 - highclassbean
Reply +33
(08/03/2013) [-]
#20 to #15 - highclassbean
Reply +21
(08/03/2013) [-]
probably the greatest classic of all time right here
#23 to #20 - highclassbean
Reply +14
(08/03/2013) [-]
#27 to #23 - admiralen
Reply +5
(08/03/2013) [-]
not d&d but gold
#28 to #27 - admiralen
Reply +7
(08/03/2013) [-]
#29 to #28 - admiralen
Reply +1
(08/03/2013) [-]
#30 to #29 - admiralen
Reply +2
(08/03/2013) [-]
this one and the one before are one combined
#31 to #30 - admiralen
Reply +9
(08/03/2013) [-]
#32 to #20 - mycatislookingatme
Reply +1
(08/03/2013) [-]
Oh my ******** ******** yes.
#35 to #15 - captainfuckitall ONLINE
Reply +2
(08/03/2013) [-]
You didn't even have to read all the way down to know that the person starting a war for gay marriage was a woman
#33 - mycatislookingatme
Reply +48
(08/03/2013) [-]
Are you a DM? - Do have problems with your friends ******* your quest charecters? - Never fear, dick girls are the way forwards.

>Be DM
>Friends are having sex with every goddamn quest character I give them because they keep rolling 20 for charisma checks.
>Get annoyed with one guy who's known for this esp.
>Set an "elf" woman as the lead of the high council in the town of Elanoria.
>He rolls a 20 for seduction roll again
>She takes him up to her room
>Come up with a cunning plan that's more cunning than a fox that's graduated from the Oxford University with a degree in cunning.
>I wrote in that she'd been experimenting with metamorphosis earlier.
>it'satrap.gif
>She penetrates his arse all night long while he's tied to the bed.
>He hasn't touched a quest character since.

Also, I put one dick girl into every bar they enter these days, because I can.
#226 to #33 - anon
Reply 0
(08/04/2013) [-]
Amazing plan, I enjoy it.

Though you know as DM you could just have her cut his dick off.
#113 to #33 - tiberioustyphr
Reply +1
(08/03/2013) [-]
Our DM used to make every other sexy wench a Demon, Succubus, Illusion, Werewolf or Vampire.

Detect Magic is now standard tavern protocol.
#104 to #33 - gentlemanotaku
Reply +6
(08/03/2013) [-]
i feel like ive read this before  squint _ squint    
>playing dnd   
>playing as my main, captain longbeard jack   
>hes a pirate who is always drunk   
>in reality, jack is a holy man, but his power is far too strong so he must conceal it with rum   
>infinite bag of holding containing rum, holy liver   
>DM makes us fight in a tournament   
>easily knock out first round of zombies, then second of direwolves   
>"well that wasnt too bad, we didnt even lose any health po-"   
>DM sends out a white dragon, burns half the group   
>Jack pulls out his canon and fills it with direwolf bones,forks, and a few rocks   
>drunkingly exclaims "ITS THE WHITE WHALE!"   
>natural 20, fires right through the dragons heart, one shot   
   
from then on ive given no thought to what jack does and just acted on instinct
i feel like ive read this before squint _ squint
>playing dnd
>playing as my main, captain longbeard jack
>hes a pirate who is always drunk
>in reality, jack is a holy man, but his power is far too strong so he must conceal it with rum
>infinite bag of holding containing rum, holy liver
>DM makes us fight in a tournament
>easily knock out first round of zombies, then second of direwolves
>"well that wasnt too bad, we didnt even lose any health po-"
>DM sends out a white dragon, burns half the group
>Jack pulls out his canon and fills it with direwolf bones,forks, and a few rocks
>drunkingly exclaims "ITS THE WHITE WHALE!"
>natural 20, fires right through the dragons heart, one shot

from then on ive given no thought to what jack does and just acted on instinct
#123 to #104 - mycatislookingatme
Reply 0
(08/04/2013) [-]
I made a text post content of it back in Jan, that's why.
#46 to #33 - crazyolitis
Reply +13
(08/03/2013) [-]
Didn't you mean foxford? That was a very nice story, by the way.
Didn't you mean foxford? That was a very nice story, by the way.
#45 - Endofzeeworld
Reply +34
(08/03/2013) [-]
>Playing 3.5   
>Playing a Gnome Bard all into diplomacy and ****   
>Boss shows up to fight our party, an angry looking dwarf riding a bad-ass direwolf   
>Initiative falls to me   
>**** combat abilities, and I clearly can't talk our way out of this one   
>Decide to **** it   
>Grab a piece of wood off the ground, throw it off the mountain we're on, yell "FETCH!"   
>DM tells me to make a bluff check   
>Natural. *******. 20   
>Wolf and rider go flying off the mountain after the stick   
>MFW I beat the final boss with a single roll
>Playing 3.5
>Playing a Gnome Bard all into diplomacy and ****
>Boss shows up to fight our party, an angry looking dwarf riding a bad-ass direwolf
>Initiative falls to me
>**** combat abilities, and I clearly can't talk our way out of this one
>Decide to **** it
>Grab a piece of wood off the ground, throw it off the mountain we're on, yell "FETCH!"
>DM tells me to make a bluff check
>Natural. *******. 20
>Wolf and rider go flying off the mountain after the stick
>MFW I beat the final boss with a single roll
#49 to #45 - theugandanhero
Reply +11
(08/03/2013) [-]
Good God I wish I knew what you were talking about.
#117 to #49 - Shmooglavoue
Reply +2
(08/03/2013) [-]
Dungeons and Dragons is essentially a complex board game where you have a Dungeon Master (part referee part storyteller) who makes up a unique adventure for the other players to play through. You use many kinds of multi-sided dice, d6 being your regular six sided game dice as well as d4, d8, d10, d12, and d20. You roll dice to determine how well your character does when attempting to do something difficult (combined with any skills that character has). Rolling 20 on the 20 sided dice is basically a guaranteed success.
#41 - asmathiel
Reply +28
(08/03/2013) [-]
Two best DnD stories ever

First one:
#42 to #41 - asmathiel
Reply +21
(08/03/2013) [-]
And second one
#90 to #42 - disruptard
Reply 0
(08/03/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#43 - ragingflamingos
Reply +27
(08/03/2013) [-]
Story time!

>Playing D&D with friends
>Get attacked by a massive bunch of soldiers
>Very beginning of fight, one of our dps guys rolls a natural one
>******.jpeg
>DM laughs
>Tells the dude that his attacked missed and murdered a family of squirrels in front of their squirrel father
>"Whatever"
>Fight continues
>Goes on forever, escalates to epic ice giant boss battle
>Two hours later
>Our healer is dead, and we are finally starting to loot the corpses
>Tank goes to loot one of the dead soldiers
>Rolls a natural one
>************* Daddy Squirrel pulls a chestburster out of the dead soldier's corpse and shanks the tank for 16 damage
>DM's FW
#96 - Sabre
Reply +19
(08/03/2013) [-]
Posted this last time this picture was on the front page. Here we go:   
>Playing 3.5 with some Pathfinder elements    
>Paladin in our group plays like an idiot man-child    
>My character (Lawful Evil) offers him a potion that we couldn't identify and tells him to drink it next time we get into a fight    
>Next fight turns out to be some powerful weird fey, fears half the party in the first round.    
>"Don't worry guys, I got this ****!"    
>Potion is a love potion    
>Buddy asks the DM since he shares an empathic link with his (moose) mount, shouldn't it also be under the effect of the potion?    
>DM hesitates before answering yes    
>Mosse begins attempting to mount evil fey creature    
>20 to hit    
>penetration achieved    
>Paladin begins prematurely ejaculating in his armor    
>Mfw when watching a moose sodomize a giant evil fairy while a dwarf rolls around on the ground cumming... all because of me
Posted this last time this picture was on the front page. Here we go:
>Playing 3.5 with some Pathfinder elements
>Paladin in our group plays like an idiot man-child
>My character (Lawful Evil) offers him a potion that we couldn't identify and tells him to drink it next time we get into a fight
>Next fight turns out to be some powerful weird fey, fears half the party in the first round.
>"Don't worry guys, I got this ****!"
>Potion is a love potion
>Buddy asks the DM since he shares an empathic link with his (moose) mount, shouldn't it also be under the effect of the potion?
>DM hesitates before answering yes
>Mosse begins attempting to mount evil fey creature
>20 to hit
>penetration achieved
>Paladin begins prematurely ejaculating in his armor
>Mfw when watching a moose sodomize a giant evil fairy while a dwarf rolls around on the ground cumming... all because of me
#130 to #96 - notsochosentroll
Reply 0
(08/04/2013) [-]
I want to laugh, but at the same time I'm sad I'll never have a chance to play D&D with friends. If I were a DM, that sort of stuff would be commonplace.
#263 to #130 - Sabre
Reply 0
(08/05/2013) [-]
I DM a sesh (not that one clearly) and I have one piece of advice if you ever do run your own game: do not plan in pratfalls and silly ****, your group will be derpy enough on their own. You don't need (nor will you want) to encourage that more than you have to.
#243 to #130 - shitflippingpattie
Reply 0
(08/04/2013) [-]
It sounds cool, but constant ******** like that gets annoying occasionally.

Occasionally
#2 - rikter
Reply +16
(08/03/2013) [-]
I hate say it but that is kinda accurate. You just forgot all those lovely conversations leading up to it.
-An elven princess emerg...
-I WANT TO **** HER, WHAT DO I ROLL
#179 - protomanrulez
Reply +6
(08/04/2013) [-]
I once played a D&d game with 10 paladins and 1 rogue. I was the 1 rogue. All it consisted of was me trying to do something, and the paladins just yelling at me not to.
#201 to #179 - warlordstuart ONLINE
Reply +1
(08/04/2013) [-]
10 paladin and 1 rogue...

What DM in his right mind said to 11 players walking into the room "oh yeah, this wont cause problems or confusion."

There either must have been allot of trust or a badass DM to manage all of that. I couldn't do it.
#214 to #201 - protomanrulez
Reply 0
(08/04/2013) [-]
There was no confusion, just sorrow.
#222 to #214 - warlordstuart ONLINE
Reply +2
(08/04/2013) [-]
know that feel bro. I remember back when i first started playing. Usually we took turns DMing so that way we could avoid favoritism. however, even then I would usually DM since i was the best at it.    
   
get call one night.   
friend says "hey man, its been like six months, lets play D&D! I got a few buddies at [relative's house we play at]. You should DM! [insert random compliment]!"   
been six months since last played. Massive D&D erection forms   
"HELL YEAH!"   
Head over   
13 players (no joke) are waiting there for me. 5 of them i have never met before.   
Friend: "Oh good, hope its no problem, but we wanna introduce [5 guys i never met] to D&D. They have never played before and they wanna know what's up! We told them you were the best DM!"   
   
Me being the total inexperienced fool was excited so many people wanted to play. That and being RPG starved and having my ego stroked to the point of orgasm foolhardily accepted.   
   
10 minutes later, two new guys rage quit and leave, 1 new guy swears that if he ever DMs a game with me in it he will kill my characters, 3 players step outside for a fist fight, friend's relative is eternally disappointed in me, and my 2 best friends (including the one who invited me) just sit there and watch in horror...   
   
mfw
know that feel bro. I remember back when i first started playing. Usually we took turns DMing so that way we could avoid favoritism. however, even then I would usually DM since i was the best at it.

get call one night.
friend says "hey man, its been like six months, lets play D&D! I got a few buddies at [relative's house we play at]. You should DM! [insert random compliment]!"
been six months since last played. Massive D&D erection forms
"HELL YEAH!"
Head over
13 players (no joke) are waiting there for me. 5 of them i have never met before.
Friend: "Oh good, hope its no problem, but we wanna introduce [5 guys i never met] to D&D. They have never played before and they wanna know what's up! We told them you were the best DM!"

Me being the total inexperienced fool was excited so many people wanted to play. That and being RPG starved and having my ego stroked to the point of orgasm foolhardily accepted.

10 minutes later, two new guys rage quit and leave, 1 new guy swears that if he ever DMs a game with me in it he will kill my characters, 3 players step outside for a fist fight, friend's relative is eternally disappointed in me, and my 2 best friends (including the one who invited me) just sit there and watch in horror...

mfw
#265 to #222 - warlordstuart ONLINE
Reply 0
(11/22/2014) [-]
marking this for later
#223 to #222 - protomanrulez
Reply 0
(08/04/2013) [-]
I would never play that big of a game with any new players. When I introduce new players, I do a game of five, and me as the dm. 3 are experienced, 2 are new. I will never introduce more then 2 people at once. just a bad idea.
#227 to #223 - warlordstuart ONLINE
Reply +1
(08/04/2013) [-]
I was young and stupid...all those normal excuses. In high school too, so i had a huge ego to boot.

Second time I introduced a bunch of players, it went MUCH smoother. Interestingly, it was probably one of the best games i ever did.

I think we were all out of high school at this point. had 9, maybe 10 players. 4 or 5 of them brand new, 2 very experienced, 3 were okay. We learned from our previous mistakes. No one talks out of term, no interrupting, use initiative to talk.

Game went very smoothly. I ended up TPK'ing them with an explosive coin trap but the night ended with them asking to play another game. Good times.
#228 to #227 - protomanrulez
Reply +3
(08/04/2013) [-]
Huh... Use Initiative to talk. I like that. A lot. I will use that now, thanks.
I do a game now where two players are new. one is taking to it very well... the other is okay, he needs to learn the difference between doing good, and bad.
Any great stories to something that happened?
>Playing as a kleptomaniac Elf Ranger
>Dinner party for us at a mansion, (i stole a lot of forks)
>Leave the mansion the next day
>see a fight between a gold dragon and a red
>Gold dragon takes human form
>I decide to help, summon a wolf to attack the red
>dm rolls fear check on wolf, rolls 1, wolf runs full speed
>I roll 20 for attack on the dragon with summoned wolf
>roll second 20, crit with wolf on red dragon
>Finish it off somehow (The gold dragon was supposed to kill it right when we saw it)
>Gain enough exp to level up 12 times
>Out level my party by a **** ton, rest of game is a breeze.
#231 to #228 - warlordstuart ONLINE
Reply +3
(08/04/2013) [-]
my stories are usually too long...lemme try to think of a short one. Playing 2nd edition

> have terrible luck. This night was especially bad.
> play kender Paladin. cursed character...I cant roll **** with him
> encounter beholder
> ohboy.gif
> charge with my shiny new sunblade
> roll 1
/sigh
Me: Ya know...im gonna die now.
DM *chuckling*: Its round 1
Me: Im going to roll a 100...
> roll d100...result 100.
> DM laughs his ass off
> Rolls random spell mess for the beholder. I get hit with all the spells that round: Cone of Cold, Death, Petrify, and Disintegration.
> Dm thinks this is the funniest **** ever. "saving throws dude!"
> Me: *calling them before I roll them* 1, 1, 1, 1...

******* astronomical, these rolls. apparently this is the funniest **** the DM has ever seen. He actually lets me live because he cant believe rolls could get that bad...although, really i should have died.
#235 to #231 - protomanrulez
Reply +3
(08/04/2013) [-]
That's just sad...
>Playing Human Rogue, 5 charisma rating (DM lets us chose what we look like, charisma is ability to talk to people only) I make myself drop dead gorgeous
>Cant talk to anyone for ****
>Girls flirt with me all the time
>I just get shy and roll hide checks to hide from them
>Mission where we have to extract information from a girl
>She instantly takes a liking to my character (douche dm)
>******.jpg
>Says she will give all information if I show her a nice night
>I go to her house
>She got killed by some people who did not want her to know the info she had
>My character felt relief over the death of an innocent person.
#236 to #235 - warlordstuart ONLINE
Reply +2
(08/04/2013) [-]
HAHA! That's a good one! I actually lol'd at that one

Ok. got one. Party of 4. Warmage, favored soul, monk, and ranger.
Warmage is kind of a troll. The rest are taking the adventure pretty seriously.

> group goes to a very nazi-like country
> land in harbor.
> greeted by paladin in charge. calls himself "Lord Glorion the Glorious"
> hes a war hero that has become sick in the head with age and after multiple blows to the head.
> tells party that crime is on the rise in his city, but he plans to stamp it out
> party thinks it's an adventure hook. They ask to help.
> lord glorion comes back saying he found a criminal
> they go watch a public flogging of an elderly lady that accidently short changed a customer
> party totally silent. other paladin NPC in the city are just as uncomfortable
> lord glorion comes to them. "See, my friends? the light of my glory is so bright, it shuns away the gaze of my peers!"
> ....
> ....
> Warmage finally speaks.
> He reaches out and excitedly shakes his hand.
> "That WAS glorious!"
#241 to #236 - protomanrulez
Reply +1
(08/04/2013) [-]
That's great! Your Warmage sounds like someone I would love to play with.
>Playing a game as a dm, 1 paladin, 1 ranger, 1 monk, 1 rogue, 1 cleric
>Person playing as rogue is known as a bad roller, no clue why, always fumbles
>He sneaks into an enemy base to scout
>Rolls an 18 to sneak in
>1 to sneak out
>He gets captured
>chained to a wall
>party comes in to rescue him
>fight starts, rogue still chained to wall
>He forgot to check for traps when he came in, cleric steps on a spike trap, gets mutilated
>Paladin falls in pit, stays there.
>Ranger falls in battle
>Monk tries to flee to get help, hits string trap and gets caught in a net.
>Rogue watches as his party is slaughtered
all he had to do was check for traps...
#255 to #241 - warlordstuart ONLINE
Reply +1
(08/04/2013) [-]
/sigh. it bugs me when people wont take the hint and use their class skills. Then they get pissed at you for never letting them do things >.>

Same party (first monk is actually a homebrew ki master class). They just got out of a tough fight and wanted a new player. Spent all week making this ghost ship encounter to get him in. He is trapped on the ship in a safe room.

> party gets on the boat
> find monk
> go to miniboss room
> ghost doctor with room full of corpses on beds.
> warmage does what he does best and decides to get a checkup from him
> put a side note down that anyone that tries might get dominated.
> favored soul and ki master are outside room
> ranger and monk inside room.
> He will get hostile if anyone says the words "ghost" or "spirit"
> secretly roll his saving throw.
> roll 1 as he says "you know you're a ghost, right?
....
> **** got real
> bodies leap to life and attack monk. crit.
> pin him to ground
> Dominated warmage crits prone monk. He drops to -15...
> Me: "uhh...[warmage] decapitates [monk]..."

Took me a full week to make this session to introduce his character and he dies round 1 of the first encounter...didn't last 30 minutes....
#257 to #255 - protomanrulez
Reply 0
(08/04/2013) [-]
Wow...
I once killed a player because I hated him. He got mad and left.
>He played a Dark Elf Rogue
> I was a wood elf ranger
>he stole stuff for no reason, would just dump it in the trash
>pick pocket children
>Kill innocent animals
>Get us into trouble with the law and run
>at one point I had to take my chance
>he starts to run from something (guards I think)
>I cast entangle underneath him
>Run at him and just slash the living **** out of him
>he rolls to fight back, fails
>My bear animal companion is helping, he cant go anywhere without have an opportunity attack against him
>He tries anyway
>I swing at his legs
>Trip him
>Jump on him while hes down and just stab him over and over again
He is now more then dead, and beyond resurrection.
His player knew it would happen, wast mad
>Guards witness all of it
>Just standing there speechless
>I stand up and walk away, party follows.
#258 to #257 - protomanrulez
Reply 0
(08/04/2013) [-]
He got mad and left after the resurrection though. At first he was okay.
#180 to #179 - protomanrulez
Reply +15
(08/04/2013) [-]
Also
>enter a city
>decide to do some good, kill a few thieves
>DM says I cant just find thieves
>"Alright..."
>I walk outside our hotel and yell "OH WHAT WILL I DO WITH ALL THIS GOLD IN MY POCKET"
>Feel someone start to pickpocket me
>swing my sword around to hit him
>Its a child, one hit kill
>Guards see
>swarm me, and massacre me
>Whole party just watches
mfw
#181 to #180 - protomanrulez
Reply +3
(08/04/2013) [-]
Anyone here use roll20.net?
Its great for playing across the world with other people.
#190 to #181 - princeofbrokensoul
Reply +2
(08/04/2013) [-]
neato
#186 to #181 - thankins
Reply +2
(08/04/2013) [-]
I'm going to look into that, Thanks.
#187 to #186 - protomanrulez
Reply +2
(08/04/2013) [-]
In one of my current games, I have someone from Canada, Venezula, and France. And I'm in NY
#188 to #187 - thankins
Reply +2
(08/04/2013) [-]
W...Will you show me the ways, Sire?
I would love to get into stuff like that.
#189 to #188 - protomanrulez
Reply +2
(08/04/2013) [-]
Just go to roll20.net and make a profile. Its easy. It makes DMing way easier also. It organizes everything, to roll you just write /roll XdX+x. Its easy and just as fun. All you need is some people to play with.