Satanists. may just convert, i don't pay my current protestant religious part much attention anyhow.. theefg or rat: The more I learn about Satanism, the less h Satan


may just convert, i don't pay my current protestant religious part much attention anyhow.

Tags: Satan
theefg or rat:
The more I learn about
Satanism, the less
horrendous it seems. Not
even kidding,
That' s cause monotheistic
Satanism is more about
worshipping yourself and sorta
treating others how you want to
be treated etc
hail amen
satanism is actually really solid like
the Fifth Satanic Rule of the Earth
says not to make sexual advances
unless you are given consent
satan seems like a pretty nice guy
This week on "I didn' t know I was a
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Submitted: 08/02/2013
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User avatar #6 - platapus (08/03/2013) [+] (16 replies)
satanism has rules against rape
christianity doesn't.
go figure
#4 - thepinkkirby (08/03/2013) [+] (18 replies)
I prefer the name Lucifer.
User avatar #5 to #4 - austone (08/03/2013) [-]
I prefer Lucy.
#27 - optimussum (08/03/2013) [+] (3 replies)
#7 - wertgf (08/03/2013) [+] (7 replies)
User avatar #22 - vanoreo (08/03/2013) [+] (9 replies)
Satanism is basically edgy atheism designed to piss off religious people
User avatar #30 to #22 - notguitaraddict (08/03/2013) [-]
it's absoloutely nothing like that.
User avatar #50 - captainfuckitall ONLINE (08/03/2013) [-]
For the record. Theistic Satanism is actually nearly the same as Non-theistic Satanism. The only REAL difference between the two is how they view Satan

The general principles of Satanism are justice, empowerment, truth, and freedom, and the final goal of it all is to become your own god rather than serve one. If you fall out of these principles (as some sects have) and start making an ass out of yourself, you tend to be ostracized by the rest of the Satanic community.

For those of you who don't know, there are 5 sects of Satanism. LaVeyan Satanism (who use Satan as a metaphor for the aforementioned principles and godhood), Theistic Satanism (who believe Satan is a real spiritual being, hail him, and believe he is not evil because he transcends petty human morals and is a force of justice), Spiritual Satanism (who believe Satan is a real physical being, an alien from another world that helped humanity grow and evolve through the years and humanity was then tricked into thinking he was evil and turning us against him), Pseudo-Satanists (those kids you see wearing all black and trying to seem as cool and apathetic as possible. Most of them only do it for attention or shock value. These guys tend to be picked on or laughed at by other Satanists), and "Devil-Worshipers" (these guys believe in the christian bible, but believe god is ALL forgiving thus making evil-Satan the true ruler of the Earth. These guys are the ones who get on the news for raping nuns and murdering teenagers, doing horrible things in order to gain favour from Satan. These guys are downright attacked by other Satanists and are not allowed to participate in any of their official gatherings or rituals. Nobody likes them, and they give a bad name to the official religion)
User avatar #38 - crazyeyedbioll ONLINE (08/03/2013) [+] (8 replies)
Im a satanist! its so cool right? am I cool yet?
User avatar #47 to #45 - captainfuckitall ONLINE (08/03/2013) [-]
I knew it was a joke, I was just clarifying what it was about

It's an opinion, not your ex. Don't whine about it so much
#138 - dwarfman (08/03/2013) [+] (8 replies)
Another Satanism post. 8th graders are out in force.
Another Satanism post. 8th graders are out in force.
#60 - lolfire (08/03/2013) [+] (2 replies)
....Well Satan didn't 						****					 us out of the garden of Eden.    
He just told us how to be on the same level as god.   
Then god got all jealous and was like get the 						****					.    
Seems like a pretty cool guy.
....Well Satan didn't **** us out of the garden of Eden.
He just told us how to be on the same level as god.
Then god got all jealous and was like get the **** .

Seems like a pretty cool guy.
#8 - ezrablue (08/03/2013) [+] (1 reply)
hows 8th grade goin
User avatar #46 to #8 - captainfuckitall ONLINE (08/03/2013) [-]
How's it going not being able to come up with original jokes?
#31 - EVANSURYASETIAWAN (08/03/2013) [+] (7 replies)
User avatar #11 - Awesomenessniss ONLINE (08/03/2013) [-]
Then there are the High Holiday Satanists, only celebrating on the major days like Anti-christmas or Slaughter-a-ramadan.
User avatar #21 - ireallylikepotatoe (08/03/2013) [+] (6 replies)
"and sorta treating others how you wish to be treated"

Isn't the bibles golden rule "Do onto others as you would have them do onto you"?
User avatar #23 to #21 - spyrothehedgehog (08/03/2013) [-]
yeah, if only people followed that rule
#114 - gwinny (08/03/2013) [+] (13 replies)
ive been saying this to people on funnyjunk for ages. i actually own the satanic bible
User avatar #35 - nervaaurelius (08/03/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Levayan satanism isn't really satanism in the common view of the term. There is no worshiping of the devil.
User avatar #157 - zandveerx **User deleted account** (08/03/2013) [+] (1 reply)
This will be about Christianity so I'll probably be thumbed down but what ever. I keep seeing this and it irritates me every time because people compare it to what they think Christianity is to what it actually is. Christianity is a religion about love, stop looking at the dumbass Christians the news like to show off. It's about unconditional love no matter what. Satanism seems to be about loving yourself and believing you're better than what you believe to be god, a all powerful being. If you believe in satan then you believe in god and you believe you can become better than him. It seems egotistical. And I can not stress enough that Christianity is called that because it's based off the teachings of Jesus which means you should disregard the old testament, which Christianity clings to like a bad cold for some reason. The god the two books teach about are even completely different. The new testament teaches about a caring loving god while the old testament teaches about an angry god you should cower under. Don't know how that works honestly. Also, that thing with rape. No, the bible doesn't say anything about that, at all. Least in the new testament to my knowledge. It does however state that you must follow the laws of the land, in other words follow the laws you country/nation/town has set up and in america; it illegal.
User avatar #111 - EdwardNigma (08/03/2013) [-]
My favourite rules of Satanism are 4 and 11.
4: If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.
11: When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

That ***** ******* hardcore. It's not "Tell him to get the out" or "Force him to stop." But no, no mercy and destroy. Badass.
User avatar #59 - koinx (08/03/2013) [-]
Well, people kinda understood nowadays how Satanists's work consists of "showing the evil nature of mankind". Which is denonciation. By showing this, they finally do a good job on telling how bad something is by making you realise what it is, which a lot of neo spiritual beliefs have tried nowadays.

tl:dr Satanist wants good.
User avatar #77 - IamEllis (08/03/2013) [+] (2 replies)
its true. I'm catholic but I find that many organized religions have become a religion of man and not god. The church has does more evil than Satanists do. Just as everything else, the church likes to brainwash people into thinking that Satanists are bad and that they are bloodthirsty crazed cult members.
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