Found while lurking, thought you'd enjoy. . File: 137516036978& n as KB, 464x284, ) RAN DOM 'Eating Cherries I am eating a lat at them me mare STORIES FROM me m
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Found while lurking, thought you'd enjoy

File: 137516036978& n as KB, 464x284, )
RAN DOM 'Eating Cherries
I am eating a lat at them
me mare
STORIES FROM me mare
me mare
YOU R LII FE Wank it, They are all mine
hours later
Eating dinner with family
up rice with fork, bringing towards mouth
adhere will you be when diarrhea strikes?
ta disease at wastes immediately
Still have mad an plate
Decision time
Finish mad faster than a turkey running from hunters in
Parents have confused and worried faces
Sprint upstairs ta twat
alts going ta he a photo finish
lands an twat right as watery horrid **** bursts from my anus
Still chewing mad in mouth
awe smell is unbearable
H pant stop ********
H pant finish my mad like this
id need a place ta get rid at mad
idea time
up and dispise at mad in naw disgusting, rancid twat
up vomiting in twat
Still have explosive diarrhea
around as fast as possible and dispise at waste from ass
hours later
H made it am alive
feels like I was ****** by an elephant
Never eat ridiculously large amounts of cherries kids
...
+839
Views: 38417
Favorited: 104
Submitted: 07/30/2013
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Comments(106):

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User avatar #3 - dustboy (07/30/2013) [+] (48 replies)
What kind of heretic uses a fork to eat rice.
User avatar #9 to #8 - misfitxcreepx (07/30/2013) [-]
I've literally never met anyone in my life that has eaten rice with a spoon.

#4 - mrbang (07/30/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#30 - Fuzzymarsupial (07/30/2013) [+] (5 replies)
That anon got off lucky, others have not been so fortunate.
#65 - bby (07/31/2013) [+] (2 replies)
I always read the end first in case I'm being trolled.   
   
mfw "Anus feels like I was 						******					 by an elephant."
I always read the end first in case I'm being trolled.

mfw "Anus feels like I was ****** by an elephant."
User avatar #55 - xdeathspawnx (07/31/2013) [-]
why didn't he just tell his parents he was about to poop his pants and then finish his dinner after? Are his parents really that strict they would rather have him **** at the dinner table than leave to go to the bathroom.
User avatar #32 - riderdouble (07/30/2013) [+] (6 replies)
Whatever you say lightbulb...
#72 - kaycie (07/31/2013) [+] (1 reply)
#78 - pikininja (07/31/2013) [+] (1 reply)
You couldn't excuse yourself in the middle of dinner to go to the bathroom? Is he retarded?
You couldn't excuse yourself in the middle of dinner to go to the bathroom? Is he retarded?
#64 - tygamann (07/31/2013) [-]
I read cherries as "cheerios".
User avatar #50 - mikepetru (07/30/2013) [-]
OP's face when

kenny's dad
User avatar #48 - hollyisthebest (07/30/2013) [+] (4 replies)
I just looked in the bowl of cherries in front of me, and noticed it was empty.
Crap
User avatar #71 - cantfindausername (07/31/2013) [-]
>i've had this job for about a week. i basically chop down trees, climb up them and whatevs for 12 hours.
>it sucks but the money is friggin awesome
>anyways we're choppin down this tree and when it fell, it leaned against another >tree. all three of us were just chillin underneath it thinking it was safe then we heard it start to fall and we all bolted in different directions. my boss ran in a random pattern like an idiot and missed the tree by a few feet my co worker was smart and took off in one direction.
>i tried to run the same way but i slipped in the mud and didnt go anywhere.
>i looked up and that **** was coming at me at .5 light speed so i skillfully executed a text book ninja roll RIGHT before the tree fell on me. it landed literally like 6 inches away man.
> 5 minutes later we were pulling down this other tree.
>my job was to relay my boss's hand signals to my co-worker who is pulling the rope taut with the truck. the problem is that the only place they both can see me is right smack where the tree is supposed to drop.
>this asshole expects me to sit there and wait for the exact moment the tree begins to drop and take off.
>for $720 a week i dont complain
>so when the tree started to fall i took off....
>....and tripped on a ditch i didnt see before
>so i backwards ninja rolled into the ditch and the tree fell two feet away from me. and i got buried in the branched and leaves.
>5 minutes later my boss bets me $100 that i cant catch a wild turkey and bring it back.
>i was all like, you're on ya fat cunt. so i try and run down the turkeys.
>there was 3 of them so i had a good chance of catching one if i surprise them
>i grabbed the wing of one that tried to fly away. (i had no ******* clue turkeys could fly)
>and that bird stuck its big ass claw into my sleeve and got caught.
>wild turkey used wing attack on my face and started chasing me after i tried to run away.

so yeah, that was my crazy ass day

By: oCrAzYtOwNo
User avatar #40 - flamingpie (07/30/2013) [-]
"YOU R LII FE Wank it," lightbulb is now a motivational speaker for fapping
#101 - Cambro (07/31/2013) [-]
My poop story:
>Be in hospital for lung surgery. Bedridden for a week and can't get out of bed because I'm hooked up to breathing equipment. You want to go to the bathroom? Bedpan. **** THAT.
>Day 4 of no poop. Doctors and nurses still haven't noticed, ask no questions.
>Day 5 nurse becomes aware after reviewing my bathroom records.
>Starts pumping me with laxatives, but my sheer willpower keeps my anus closed like the gates of Mordor.
>Day 6. All tubes removed but kept under observation while I'm relearning how to walk.
>Day 7. Nurse begins extra dosages of laxatives, but I refuse to go until I can walk to a bathroom under my own power.
>Day 8. I can now walk the 10 ft to my room toilet. I have lost appetite, had cramps and gas. It is time.
>Stumble to toilet at 9 AM. Start pushing, but have to stop every 10 seconds because of my ****** up abdomen. Parents ask if I need help and I demand venomously that they do not notify any nurses.
>Suddenly feel *********** moving at 9:45. Try to push, but its not enough.
>10 AM. Time to get desperate.
>I begin to wiggle side to side while pushing. I bite down on a towel to stop from screaming.
>15 minutes later my bowels finally release a softball sized turd. I wipe my sweaty brow in relief, but suddenly hear demons growling and hissing from within my intestines.
>THE SOFTBALL WAS ONLY THE CORK
> **** what feel like pebbles covered in lava for the next hour, walk bowlegged back to my bed feeling like my spine was just ripped out of my butthole, take a hit of morphine and pass out before proudly telling the nurse to observe the bowel movement in bathroom 321.
#84 - playmaker (07/31/2013) [-]
this is all I could think of when I imagined you in this bathroom.
#61 - gooshnoggen (07/31/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
+3
#46 - bloodmachine has deleted their comment [-]
#43 - elliefreedom (07/30/2013) [-]
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User avatar #28 - nocturnalemission (07/30/2013) [-]
Guess I was blessed with the golden butthole.
I have a list of things that don't destroy my bowels, Taco Bell and cherries are on that list.
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