Dad is an ass. . I Messages THE. r. I think I laughed more than what is socially acceptable
x

Comments(84):

[ 84 comments ]
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#5 - grandtheftkoala **User deleted account** (07/27/2013) [-]
I think I laughed more than what is socially acceptable
#65 to #5 - anon (07/28/2013) [-]
ASIANS CAN ACTUALLY READ MINDS!!!!!!!!!!!
They can hear, and see what you're visually thinking. This is the absolute complete truth!!!!!

Asians hide their mind reading abilities by a lot of them having completely expressionless faces so they don't accidentally show facial expressions when people think things they don't like, find funny, astonishing, etc, and Asians segregate so their not nearly as susceptible to that happening.
Asians also segregate, and are untalkative to avoid accidentally saying things that are similar to what people are thinking and going to say.

Try thinking, and visually picturing things that are as wild as you can when you are around Asians, and look for Asians who give people dirty/particular looks for what appears to be for completely no reason.

PLEASE SPREAD THE MESSAGE!!!!! THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW THIS!!!!!
User avatar #75 to #5 - errdayimfjing (07/28/2013) [-]
i breathed out of my nose
#29 - loodee (07/28/2013) [-]
User avatar #55 to #29 - newsuperyoshi (07/28/2013) [-]
Seems legit...
User avatar #41 to #29 - apexbossin (07/28/2013) [-]
You put the text messages in the wrong spots.
User avatar #66 to #41 - santathumbs (07/28/2013) [-]
That's part of the joke you worthless piece of ****
#45 - ivehadworse (07/28/2013) [-]
At least they're honest.
#53 - queefquizzler (07/28/2013) [-]
I remember when I thought these were real and my balls were hairless
#2 - wardd (07/27/2013) [-]
Well at least he was honest
Yes i know it's probably not real
User avatar #37 to #2 - jacksipian (07/28/2013) [-]
none of these are real, theres a website you can go to to make them
User avatar #77 to #34 - mondominiman (07/28/2013) [-]
Where do you make those, I want to make one that lets you change the contact and one that doesn't have a water mark.
#49 to #34 - anon (07/28/2013) [-]
>implying all jokes are from actual experience
#10 - pimpyboy (07/27/2013) [-]
who refers to their sister as "my sister" instead of their name?
User avatar #16 to #10 - tidex (07/27/2013) [-]
I do...
#18 to #10 - anon (07/27/2013) [-]
I refer to my brother as, 'my brother', more often than I use his name.
User avatar #20 to #10 - vatra (07/27/2013) [-]
Me.
User avatar #31 to #10 - bighairyfart (07/28/2013) [-]
People who make these fake text messages & are too lazy to think up names.
#47 to #10 - winniedawho (07/28/2013) [-]
imaginary daughters.
#73 to #10 - eyeballdude (07/28/2013) [-]
People in wincest?
User avatar #52 - fyourahole (07/28/2013) [-]
Kids are assholes... Where is the joke? Trust me, I have one. Love him to death, but he's a real ******* asshole.
#15 - buriedstpatrick (07/27/2013) [-]
Have you guys ever heard of irony?   
   
Seriously, who has a dad that doesn't call you mean things for the heck of it? During my childhood I was always called a brat, troublemaker, occasionally asshole (although in Danish), etc. How can you be so shocked at this? Does your dad always call you sunshine and honey?   
Heeeell naw, last I checked dads don't work that way.   
   
TL;DR: Dads do this all the time, I don't see the funny.
Have you guys ever heard of irony?

Seriously, who has a dad that doesn't call you mean things for the heck of it? During my childhood I was always called a brat, troublemaker, occasionally asshole (although in Danish), etc. How can you be so shocked at this? Does your dad always call you sunshine and honey?
Heeeell naw, last I checked dads don't work that way.

TL;DR: Dads do this all the time, I don't see the funny.
User avatar #43 to #15 - defeats (07/28/2013) [-]
I agree, both of my parents were like this with my siblings and I actually. Mostly things like "daft brother" when my parents were asking my siblings where I was etc, little **** (mum's choice), numpty.
Personally I never really thought anything of it, and in the outside world when people call me names I am pretty indifferent too.

I found the content funny, I really don't get why some people are reacting badly to it. It seems something like my dad would text, though he wouldn't use asshole, probably something more Scottish.
User avatar #68 to #15 - scootalooisyourgod (07/28/2013) [-]
How is it ironic? I'm not saying you're wrong, I agree with you, dads generally are tough on their kids. My dad didn't really do that stuff to me, but he would often give my older bro **** , and he used to physically abuse him. He's a sort of unpleasant guy to me, but yeah.
User avatar #19 to #15 - choclategum (07/27/2013) [-]
As far as i know my dad doesn't call me hateful **** like that, the worse he has ever said was that i looked like patti la belle so...

TL;DR: Dads, don't always do **** like that.
#23 to #19 - buriedstpatrick (07/28/2013) [-]
Sometimes I feel like the majority of funnyjunk consists of oversensitive teenagers that get very easily offended and have next to no knowledge about sarcasm and irony, because their parents are overly protective.   
   
It's not "hateful 			****		" if it's ironic. It's humour. You know, the stuff that makes you laugh, smile, or just generally stimulate the day positively and give a little spice to each conversation.   
   
It's the same way you talk to your best friend (if you're a guy) - you don't compliment him and tell him his hair looks good. You tell him he's a jerkwad and maybe dick him over in some way, just for fun. It's because you know you can trust each other and none of the mean words being said actually have any weight to them.   
   
You don't even know what hate is.
Sometimes I feel like the majority of funnyjunk consists of oversensitive teenagers that get very easily offended and have next to no knowledge about sarcasm and irony, because their parents are overly protective.

It's not "hateful **** " if it's ironic. It's humour. You know, the stuff that makes you laugh, smile, or just generally stimulate the day positively and give a little spice to each conversation.

It's the same way you talk to your best friend (if you're a guy) - you don't compliment him and tell him his hair looks good. You tell him he's a jerkwad and maybe dick him over in some way, just for fun. It's because you know you can trust each other and none of the mean words being said actually have any weight to them.

You don't even know what hate is.
User avatar #24 to #23 - choclategum (07/28/2013) [-]
Ok for one, no is being oversensitive except for you guys, and i said it was hateful because when you call someone an asshole isn't that a hateful word? It is. I didn't say "ooh you have bad parents for saying stff like that to you." I said that my dad doesn't call me **** like that. Mostly because that's something that, like you said, you'll call your friends, not something you'll call your kids. And don't tell me i don't know what hate is just because i don't agree with you. What kind of ******** is that?
#25 to #24 - buriedstpatrick (07/28/2013) [-]
I'm gonna' stop here. You're going in circles with yourself and frankly I don't want to stress myself out with your severe lack of common knowledge. I quit. Bye.
User avatar #27 to #25 - choclategum (07/28/2013) [-]
How am i going in circles? I just said that what you said isn't exactly true because my dad doesn't call me **** like that. So that means that not every dad does that. I didn't say it was bad, i just said not every dad does that. What's so hard to get about that?
User avatar #56 to #27 - iftheshoefits (07/28/2013) [-]
it's because you almost repeated yourself exactly without elaborating further or bringing supporting evidence to your argument
User avatar #57 to #56 - choclategum (07/28/2013) [-]
I wasn't really arguing, i mean i didn't say my first comment to start a argument, what i'm trying to get them to see is that not all dads say stuff like that. Plus of course i repeated myself, i was just trying to put it from another way so they can see what i meant, and my evidence was my dad so.. i guess i shouldn't disagree with people on fj anymore lol.
User avatar #58 to #57 - iftheshoefits (07/28/2013) [-]
mmmmm poor choice of words on my part (I really shouldn't be feeding my horrible need for people to argue correctly on the internet this late) what I meant by evidence was new evidence to support your view i.e. mention someone else you know who's dad doesn't call them stuff like that. Yes you were agreeing but mildly. You are trying to show him your view point and why it is valid/correct witch is argument. I wouldn't know a more mild term to use since 'argue' is usually acquitted to hostility and childish behavior. But in the end I don't support his point nor yours, I was just answering your question.

alright I'm going to shut up now before I say something really stupid

and yes, don't argue on funnyjunk. Believe me, it's not worth it. and 9 time out of ten neither party wins and ends up with just blocking the other person
User avatar #60 to #58 - choclategum (07/28/2013) [-]
Ohh, ok well thanks for letting me know that, because it really wasn't gettting through to me what he meant and why everybody was getting rustled, so thanks.
#61 to #60 - iftheshoefits (07/28/2013) [-]
no problem
no problem
#26 to #25 - haveabiscuit (07/28/2013) [-]
Wut? Your'e the one who seems to lack common knowledge. What chocoate gum was trying to say was that not every dad calls their kids little 			*****		 and brats, dumbass. How hard is it to understand. My dad calls me pickle face, 			*******		 and dumbass, but i don't get pissy when somebody says that they don't like that.
Wut? Your'e the one who seems to lack common knowledge. What chocoate gum was trying to say was that not every dad calls their kids little ***** and brats, dumbass. How hard is it to understand. My dad calls me pickle face, ******* and dumbass, but i don't get pissy when somebody says that they don't like that.
User avatar #42 to #26 - defeats (07/28/2013) [-]
He wasn't getting pissy, he was replying to the other comments from those who are getting pissy that their own fathers don't love them for that sort of banter...
User avatar #50 to #42 - haveabiscuit (07/28/2013) [-]
Their father doesn't call them a dumbass so he must not love them.

What kind of logic is that?

Also besides my comment, every comemnt i've seen that disagrees does not seem pissy in the least bit way, if anything it's people like anon and buried st.patrick that got pissy.
User avatar #81 to #50 - defeats (07/28/2013) [-]
Yeah, it was a joke...
User avatar #82 to #81 - haveabiscuit (07/28/2013) [-]
You mean your comment? If so my bad, but i came into this with a mindset of arguing so i didn't really see the joke oops.
User avatar #83 to #82 - defeats (07/28/2013) [-]
Yeah, my comment
#36 to #25 - anon (07/28/2013) [-]
Retards like you are the reason why the world is a sad, sad place.
#21 to #19 - anon (07/28/2013) [-]
Hateful **** like that? LOL. Okay champ will what you wanna do is get some aloe vera and rub it on your inflamed nips. Chill out guy, it's called a joke obviously if one is directed at you it's the rage of 10,000 gingers being unleashed.

TL;DR Chill the **** out bro.
User avatar #22 to #21 - choclategum (07/28/2013) [-]
You're telling me to chill out, but i'm not even mad or even the littlest bit upset.

Also wut?
#17 to #15 - fatoneateone (07/27/2013) [-]
Agreed. Being called a little **** etc prepares you for the real world
#28 to #17 - anon (07/28/2013) [-]
Oh stop saying this. A family should be a safe place for children. There are numerous cases where victims of bullying come home to the place they should think of as safe, but instead end up getting a similar treatment by those supposed to love you. It's bad parenting.
#30 to #28 - fatoneateone (07/28/2013) [-]
NB - this is in reply to the bad parenting part not the "your home should be safe part which I do agree entirely with

No, I 100% disagree. Everyone one of my friends from school who was pampered and called every positive thing under the sun and told how awesome they were when they did something meaningless, built a self arrogance with nothing to stand it up with and hence, are either drop-outs or have piss-easy uselesss degrees. My mates who's parents were hard arses and said jokingly we were ***** etc or if we deserved it called us arseholes all are engineers, scientists and have well paying jobs. So from my personal experience bringing your kids up like how this txt shows is best parenting

*pic semi-related

#35 to #30 - anon (07/28/2013) [-]
My god are you retarded. So what you've experienced happens everywhere on the planet? My parents were awesome, treated me with great care but didn't over pamper me, and now I'm a successful scientist (physicist to be exact).

Parents who call their kids names are just fail parents. Sorry to burst your bubble.
#40 to #35 - fatoneateone (07/28/2013) [-]
No I'm not; however, you may be a physicist but you're certainly no English professor. I said "from my personal experience" not "kids everywhere will have the same outcome as me" I was merely defending the parents which called their kids jokingly "arseholes" that it is not necessarily bad parenting. Since I am successful, I don't see in any way how my parents were failures; whereas, my mates who's parents were all overly nice, aren't as strong willed (my friends, I can't say anything about anyone else's) and driven as mates with parents that brought us up tougher (not with violence or mental abuse but just strong willed).
#32 to #15 - anon (07/28/2013) [-]
My dad doesn't do this to me
because he left when I was born
User avatar #46 to #33 - hentaisweetie (07/28/2013) [-]
sauce?
User avatar #48 to #46 - ilovehimnot (07/28/2013) [-]
Tim Minchin's Storm the Animated Movie You're Welcome.
User avatar #84 to #48 - hentaisweetie (07/31/2013) [-]
thanx!
User avatar #51 to #48 - needsmorecontent (07/28/2013) [-]
That video was quite a well educated argument. AND IT RHYMED!
#11 - anon (07/27/2013) [-]
this post is cringe worthy, so incredibly unfunny.
User avatar #67 - thexguy (07/28/2013) [-]
x
#78 to #67 - theyguy (07/28/2013) [-]
y
User avatar #39 - volleys (07/28/2013) [-]
Hmm I would expect my dad to do this, although he doesn't text. He doesn't mean it in a bad way, more of a funny way.
#1 - coddleflopking (07/27/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#6 to #1 - godhatesmaggots (07/27/2013) [-]
shhhh
shhhh
User avatar #63 to #6 - folkflunky (07/28/2013) [-]
The kid must've eaten all the KFC left.
#3 to #1 - mordormemes (07/27/2013) [-]
I am glad you feel that way!
#7 - godhatesmaggots (07/27/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#8 to #7 - mordormemes (07/27/2013) [-]
Why Thank you
#76 - bdowns (07/28/2013) [-]
**bdowns rolled a random image posted in comment #5451118 at Furries ** what my dad is
**bdowns rolled a random image posted in comment #5451118 at Furries ** what my dad is
User avatar #72 - advicedude (07/28/2013) [-]
Who cares if it's fake. Still a funny predicament.
#71 - anon (07/28/2013) [-]
I always refer to my brother either as "my brother" or "Brother" when I'm directly talking to him, is it really that weird?
#79 to #71 - JesuschristofAZ (07/28/2013) [-]
Not at all, brother.
#74 to #71 - justthisonepost **User deleted account** (07/28/2013) [-]
Are you Al
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