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#47 - anon (07/27/2013) [-]
Life story time!

Me and my mother can talk about anything to each other. Definitely things many mothers and sons couldn't talk to each other about.

For example, the other day, we got into a conversation about sex toys, and how I'm aware that my mom uses them. She's known that I've known, and we've been on the subject of toys before, so no big deal. She proceeds to tell me why she uses them and all that, and says "You've snooped around enough (I went through that "Look for your dad's porn stash" phase), I figured you've found my drawer where I keep my dildo batteries for recycling."

This surprised me, because I haven't. Curiosity piqued, and open to a laugh, I asked her to show it to me once we got home. And she did.

When we get home, she says "Brace yourself" and proceeds to open a foot by foot drawer that's 6 inches tall, and it's filled to the top with burned-out D batteries.
The only reply I could muster was "Jesus woman, what are you doing with your dildos? Drilling for oil?"
#112 to #47 - anon (07/27/2013) [-]
Did...did you **** her?
#108 to #47 - benedicto (07/27/2013) [-]
#49 to #47 - anon (07/27/2013) [-]
Another good one was when we got into a conversation about sex in general, and got on the topic of oral. She told me how she felt about doing it, and I shared how I felt about preforming cunnilingus (I've only done it a couple of times to my girlfriend of the time, haven't done it since. Overall, notbad.jpg experience)

But, I said specifically "I'm actually a fan of cunnilingus."

To which she replies in a serious tone "What, recieving?"

"...Yes mom, I love recieving cunnilingus. When the guy tongues my clit just right, oh man, do I get moist."

We laughed the entire car ride home. Interesting day was interesting.
User avatar #53 to #49 - repostforlife (07/27/2013) [-]
you and your mom have a very nice relationship. you two seem close, and open. thats cool I think
#56 to #53 - anon (07/27/2013) [-]
Thank you. I didn't expect anyone to actually read all that, much less enjoy it.

Have a thumb, my good man.
User avatar #57 to #56 - repostforlife (07/27/2013) [-]
It's no problem. it gave me a good laugh, I was hunched over for a good 5 minutes laughing. if you have an account I would love to talk to you more and hear funny stories like that. and share some of my own of course ^_^
#59 to #57 - anon (07/27/2013) [-]
yeah one time we talked about anal and she said she loved.....alot. She then wen't on to say how she also used a dildo up her vagina during anal.
User avatar #77 to #59 - SgtObvious (07/27/2013) [-]
#66 to #59 - anon (07/27/2013) [-]
Boy, sure is too bad that the "Hide-All" button can discern one anon from the other.
#65 to #59 - lucarioveethree has deleted their comment [-]
#62 to #59 - parttimepunk (07/27/2013) [-]
alright you've clearly got some emotional issues you need to work out
User avatar #61 to #59 - repostforlife (07/27/2013) [-]
I'll be damned, seems she WAS drilling for oil
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