I'm not a rapper. . 12 hours age near . ' no where in the bible does it say jesus wasn' t a rapper Like . Comment . , Post and 2 others like this, Haephestus q

I'm not a rapper

12 hours age near . '
no where in the bible does it say jesus wasn' t a rapper
Like . Comment . , Post
and 2 others like this,
Haephestus q 15 Tor he did net exchange werds quickly and cleverly as the
Pharisees of Judea did, He himself was of no dan er the whe quarreled in werds er high speech as
they and romans) had been arz: ,' Thats the new international version btw.
Suck it bitch,
11 hours age . Unlike . nib 13
you just got **** en
6 hours age . Unlike . nib 5
**** off you ruined my slams
tlt 6 hours age via mobile . Like . nib 1
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Submitted: 07/20/2013
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#1 - fuckinjunk (07/20/2013) [-]
I didn't know the greek god of the forge had a say in the bible.
#2 to #1 - threadz (07/20/2013) [-]
The Gospel from the Bible is also bundled into the Qu'ran.
The Gospel from the Bible is also bundled into the Qu'ran.
User avatar #13 to #2 - jokeface (07/21/2013) [-]
Citations, please.
#11 to #2 - anon (07/21/2013) [-]
In all technicality, the Qu'ran came first...
According to carbon dating and other writings and **** , the Qu'ran was written in the year 610. The Bible wasn't rocking up until maybe the 2nd century.
User avatar #12 to #11 - jokeface (07/21/2013) [-]
The Qu'ran came about 400 years after the Bible was fully compiled, sir.
User avatar #102 to #12 - deathstare (07/21/2013) [-]
When you say the Bible was fully compiled, does that mean all versions after that are moot? Or are you simply saying the first version of the Bible was finished? In all essence, the Bible and Quran were "the same book" until alterations and revisions and translations for convenience were made to the Bible. People have a hard time remembering that the Bible was not revealed in English, but in Ancient tongues. You can actually learn these languages today, and read the true Bible yourself instead of taking the word of whomever as truth, at least, that's what people who are serious about their religions might do.
I find lately, that priests and pastors tell little lies of convenience to make their life easier. I see too many of them living in big houses with large cars when their patrons are struggling to make ends meet.
User avatar #107 to #102 - jokeface (07/21/2013) [-]
The Bible isn't one consecutive work. It's several accounts, letters, songs, etc. They were all written at different points over many years. When I say "compiled" what I mean is that all those separate components were brought together into one book, about 200 years after the life of Christ.

And yes, I've considered trying to learn Hebrew and Greek to better understand the original text, but I'm afraid that would just cause more confusion, because modern Hebrew and Greek are different from the ancient forms and would still likely yield a misinterpreted meaning.
User avatar #111 to #107 - deathstare (07/21/2013) [-]
Who is the Pope? Is he like some modern day prophet? Is he chosen by God or the Cardinals?
I'm a Muslim and I see people comparing Allah to God and the Bible to the Quran. Many people around the world have a misinterpretation of the beliefs and values of Islam. Sadly, a lot of Muslims fall into this category as well.
Firstly, most non-Muslims think that the prophet Muhammad (PBUH) wrote the Quran himself. They ignore the fact that he was illiterate (reading and writing) when the verses were revealed. (He had to memorize and recite to his community for it to be transcribed).
The biggest foundation of pride I have for my religion is the fact that the Quran is still in it's untouched state. Even though "punctuations and markings" were added to the Quran to make it easy to distinguish the letters, the meaning is the exact same in Arabic (the language of the Quran) Translations to other languages have been made, but the Arabic is always within the book as well. Differences in translation are parenthesized.
Many Christians have begun realizing that Allah and their God are one and the same. The split came when they decided to worship Jesus and ignored Muhammad (PBUH) as the final prophet.

I see that you tried to learn the new language, and I encourage every one to learn everything they can about their religion, or their beliefs. I see too many people these days say they believe there is some divine being, but they don't believe in a religion. The best solution for this is lack of knowledge. I will also try to learn as much as I can about Islam, and other religions so that I may have a good understanding of why everyone fights eachother.
User avatar #124 to #111 - jokeface (07/21/2013) [-]
The Pope is the leader of the Catholic Church. I'm not Catholic, so I don't know too much about what he does, except for the fact that he gets to create or modify the rules of Catholicism. As a non-Catholic (or a Protestant, as we're called), we generally disagree with the idea that the Pope should have such power. The Catholic Church reveres him as being superior to other humans, which is blasphemy to us. Jesus was the only human who was divine, and the rest of us are all equally sinful and have no place making rules or changing the ones God has set for us.

Obviously I have no defense for the countless translations of the Bible. I agree the Qu'ran does have that advantage. But I'll be honest, I don't really consider God and Allah the same thing. Same title, sure, but they have very different personalities and policies.
#45 to #11 - anon (07/21/2013) [-]
do you even century?
User avatar #30 to #11 - funnyjunkforlife (07/21/2013) [-]
you're a ******* idiot

im muslim and ill tell you this
Torah (revealed to Moses), the Zabur (revealed to David), the Gospel (revealed to Jesus), and the Qur'an itself.
User avatar #23 to #1 - luquaz (07/21/2013) [-]
I think he's generally spelled Hephaestus.
#33 - bluerangermartin (07/21/2013) [-]
Pharisees confirmed for ancient wu-tang clan members
#110 to #33 - anon (07/21/2013) [-]
Gee-Tang Clan
User avatar #112 to #110 - misterobotunicorn (07/21/2013) [-]
They ruined that song...
#115 to #33 - anon (07/21/2013) [-]
who's that in the picture,i saw it somewhere before,but can't remember
User avatar #118 to #115 - bluerangermartin (07/21/2013) [-]
suzumiya haruhi. You probably saw the specific picture on onlyafro's youtube account (darksouls videos)
#121 to #118 - anon (07/21/2013) [-]
ohh ya i remember now,thanks
User avatar #36 to #3 - pedrocaballero (07/21/2013) [-]
I'm going to hell
User avatar #91 to #36 - thezillis (07/21/2013) [-]
i feel like jesus would approve of this kind of humor
User avatar #116 to #3 - folkflunky (07/21/2013) [-]
He was killed because of the envy... of not having some cool as **** moves like Jesus.
#4 to #3 - destroyerofcheese (07/21/2013) [-]
That pic made my day
That pic made my day
#65 - theredviperr (07/21/2013) [-]
That title
That title
User avatar #80 to #78 - JMF (07/21/2013) [-]
#17 - shards (07/21/2013) [-]
User avatar #89 to #17 - thezillis (07/21/2013) [-]
thats the funniest **** i ever done seen
#21 - nooneofinterest (07/21/2013) [-]
DON'T FLOP - Rap Battle - ‬Blizzard Vs Mark Grist You wank off in sandals to pictures of gandalf: Teacher vs former student
User avatar #86 to #21 - mycatislookingatme (07/21/2013) [-]
I'm glad the kid took it well at the end.
#29 - anon (07/21/2013) [-]
Umm haephestus was not a bible chapter
#32 to #29 - anon (07/21/2013) [-]
Yes it is in the new international version.
#59 - tabarzins (07/21/2013) [-]
Nowhere in the bible does it say Jesus was not a metal head.
#82 to #59 - tomthehippie (07/21/2013) [-]
My lord and savior knows how to mosh!

Does your lord and savior know how to mosh?
User avatar #94 to #82 - fukkendragonite (07/21/2013) [-]
Yes. Yes he does. ^
#95 to #94 - tomthehippie (07/21/2013) [-]
Bad ******* ass.

**** , I used to go to a Christian youth group, we had our own band that played heavy metal.

Thats right, we moshed at church!
User avatar #96 to #95 - fukkendragonite (07/21/2013) [-]
Did you love thy pit neighbour?
#98 to #96 - tomthehippie (07/21/2013) [-]
Of course! One my love thy pit neighbor, and should thy pit neighbor falleth upon the ground, thou shalt raise thy brother or thy sister to their feet!
User avatar #100 to #98 - fukkendragonite (07/21/2013) [-]
Thou shalt not grope a moshing sister because you think nobody is going to see.

I ******* hate those people.
#101 to #100 - tomthehippie (07/21/2013) [-]
**** yeah.

Naw, gotta respect people. Thats one thing I've liked about the heavy metal/hard rock people where I live, gentlemanly. Not like those hiphop ******** .
User avatar #97 to #96 - fukkendragonite (07/21/2013) [-]
**** , this was a church pit, why am I even asking that question? It must have been the most loving, tolerant pit ever.
#99 to #97 - tomthehippie (07/21/2013) [-]
**** yeah it was.
User avatar #93 to #59 - fukkendragonite (07/21/2013) [-]
Madeupicus 4:23

"And the Holy Son proclaimed "Open up this ******* pit" and the loyal subjects of God complied. The son of the Holy Father spake "If a brother falleth to the floor, you must take the rightous path of holiness and help him to his feet. Love thy neighbour in this sacred ring of mosh.

#105 - anon (07/21/2013) [-]
Goddammit phanact
User avatar #120 to #105 - Ihazfunkitty (07/21/2013) [-]
who else but phanact?
User avatar #72 - thatoneiranianguy ONLINE (07/21/2013) [-]
The problem being is Haephestus is Greek and that's not in any version of the bible to my knowledge. Worse part is....the other two people thought it was legit.
#117 - anon (07/21/2013) [-]
is it just cowinkydink that theres a lucifer post right befor this or are we just ignoring this
User avatar #119 to #117 - notbenstiller **User deleted account** (07/21/2013) [-]
We got a turd in the punch bowl.
#14 - halorlz (07/21/2013) [-]
Haephestus? Bible must have gotten a new update that I haven't downloaded yet. Must get to that.
User avatar #28 - Snookbone (07/21/2013) [-]
" **** off, you ruined my status"

What ******** . Your humorous status gets disproved (or in this case, improved, seeing as this is quite humorous), and you complain about having it ruined.

Who the **** actually cares this much about a status? If I intend to be funny and someone adds to it, it should be encouraged.
User avatar #9 - thezillis (07/21/2013) [-]
not a real passage of the bible though
User avatar #10 to #9 - greyshirt (07/21/2013) [-]
Not like most people would've checked anyway, not unless you really hated the guy.
#69 to #10 - gottles (07/21/2013) [-]
pretty sure anyone who knows the bible at all would not have to look it up to know Hephaestus isnt a chapter in it
User avatar #90 to #69 - thezillis (07/21/2013) [-]
i actually googled it
#24 - hitchhikerpagan (07/21/2013) [-]
Always loved this one
User avatar #60 - mion (07/21/2013) [-]
"oh my god, you ruined my status, you're such a dickhead hurrdurr"
User avatar #56 - jjrod (07/21/2013) [-]
You need to login to view this link Yeah, no. That's a Greek god. It does not say that anywhere. Here are the books of the New International Version.
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