Jesus. . The Jesus said about hori" iorek' ,. said anythign' g about it.. But on the other hand..
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#4 - rmoran (07/20/2013) [-]
But on the other hand..
But on the other hand..
User avatar #13 to #4 - gatorade (07/20/2013) [-]
Yeah he did, but you know he got overshadowed by such minor things.... I mean come on guys..
#100 to #4 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
germanon here to save the day: hitler just adopted already existing plans of the Autobahn and made them reality
so his troops and tanks would be faster in poland
User avatar #16 to #4 - theguythatisnotyou (07/20/2013) [-]
Well, he turned Germany from a struggling country into a Superpower.
User avatar #57 to #35 - matuemco (07/20/2013) [-]
pretty much what christianity is about, and how some people can turn it around
User avatar #237 to #57 - impaledsandwich (07/21/2013) [-]
I'm not even a Christian, but I generally like Jesus. He taught good lessons that people seem to miss all the time or misinterpret for their own purposes.
#47 - imnotkickthecat (07/20/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #1 - davidteninch (07/20/2013) [-]
Well most homosexuals at the time where just stoned so it really didn't need mentioning.



Jokes aside, the post is correct.
#3 to #1 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
well they pass on aids at a high rate then the bi man will pass it to women then to straight men then hell pass to bi women then lesbians.
till everyone has aids
User avatar #5 to #3 - demandsgayversion (07/20/2013) [-]
Most dudes with AIDS have sex with other AIDSY dudes. Don't believe me, there's some creepy **** on craigslist. Only a ****** up sociopath would willingly give another person HIV, and there's as likely to be any of those who are straight as gay. 0/10
#17 to #5 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
Yep also it illegal to not tell someone you have aids before you have sex
#212 to #1 - WoIverine (07/21/2013) [-]
Which is why my favorite part is where Jesus intervenes when people were about to stone an adulteress and he tells them "He who has not sinned may cast the first stone" and then they all leave her alone. That's how I feel about gay marriage.
#10 - pappathethird (07/20/2013) [-]
Not just Jesus

The Jesus
#130 - pehnut (07/20/2013) [-]

Leveticus 18:22
Leveticus 20:13
Matthew 19:4-6
just to name a few

Not saying I don't support gay marriage, but I don't like it when people make stuff up to support their political views
#161 to #130 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
I always saw Matthew 19:4-6 an issue on divorce, but I guess it could apply to homosexuality.

Anyway, here's a New Testament one... Romans 1:26-27
26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: 27 and likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
#203 to #130 - plaruti (07/21/2013) [-]
i'll sum this up as short as possible:
Christianity doesn't follow the old testament, they follow Jesus's teachings and are super into revelations.

Christians have turned from the old ways in the bible (i.e. owning slaves, beating women with a proper sized sticks, stoning each other to death, etc.)

so it makes no sense for Christians to hate gays. it would make more sense for them to "love thy neighbor"
#180 to #130 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
Actually I think what Colbert was trying to say that JESUS specifically never said those
#39 - kadish (07/20/2013) [-]
Idk if it's actually Jesus but...
"'If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads." Leviticus 20:13
I am not a christian or ANYTHING like that, I just want to say that it actually is in the bible.
User avatar #49 to #39 - sexydingonipples ONLINE (07/20/2013) [-]
Not Jesus Christo, Leviticus is part of the Old Testament, that would be Pappa Christo
User avatar #56 to #49 - heartlessrobot (07/20/2013) [-]
What about the Count of Monte Cristo?
#70 to #39 - joeyisheres (07/20/2013) [-]
Jesus didnt write the bible..
User avatar #179 to #39 - ILikeGreen (07/20/2013) [-]
its doesnt say "sexual relations"
Its says "lie" or "lay"
after a couple hundreds of years things get messed up in translation.
User avatar #190 to #179 - kadish (07/20/2013) [-]
You are the second to say that, but it's simply a differen't translation, if we go to the root it's "Qui dormierit cum masculo coitu femineo", in which dormierit works both for lay or to have sexual relations
User avatar #229 to #190 - ILikeGreen (07/21/2013) [-]
I'm just saying translation is lost over the years.
#195 to #39 - blanketandpillow (07/21/2013) [-]
Didn't he say a bunch of weird things that we ignore?
User avatar #92 to #39 - douevensax (07/20/2013) [-]
U realize leviticus is full of old laws that dont apply today
#160 to #92 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
In the Christian view, yes. And though Jesus himself never really brought up the issue, homosexuality is condemned in the New Testament (Romans).
#42 to #39 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
well its not against being gay
its just about putting your penis into someones ass
User avatar #157 to #39 - Kairyuka ONLINE (07/20/2013) [-]
I'm pretty sure the bible actually says "If a man LAYS with a man as one does with a woman", and that's not necessarily a sexual reference, because of all the other misogyny in Leviticus, it might just mean "Don't treat a man like you'd treat a woman". That's my five cents.
#162 to #157 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
From the New Testament, Romans 1:26-27
"For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: and likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet."
User avatar #164 to #162 - Kairyuka ONLINE (07/20/2013) [-]
Now that's a whole different passage entirely, and that one seems more clear about it. Thanks anon
#173 to #164 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
No problem Funnyjunk stranger.
#75 to #72 - kirluu (07/20/2013) [-]
"13. Tearing your clothes (10:6)"
User avatar #151 to #72 - vuican (07/20/2013) [-]
Good news if you're into your daughter though!
User avatar #111 to #72 - theturkeyburger (07/20/2013) [-]
I've counted 3 contradictions so far, any more?
#51 to #39 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
Jesus is discussed in the new testament. Old Jewish laws, oral tradition, and philosophy create the old testament and serve as background to the significance to the coming of Christ. Leviticus is known as one of the very intolerant, very outdated, very impractical laws of Judaism that, because of the old testament, is considered by many Christians, and atheists, practices that are upheld by modern Christians. I am Christian, but gay marriage, abortion, euthanasia, and most personal choices that don't impact the safety or health of others. Before people say "being gay isn't a choice" I said gay marriage, not being gay.
#28 - pokimone (07/20/2013) [-]
I'm both gay and Christian...   
   
   
...oh god... I'm a monster...
I'm both gay and Christian...


...oh god... I'm a monster...
-4
#36 to #28 - lordmoldywart has deleted their comment [-]
#77 to #36 - pokimone (07/20/2013) [-]
It's only Southern Baptists and Catholics that are against anything homosexual. The vast majority of Christianity don't give two ***** if you're gay. The thing is, those ones that don't give two ***** almost never make any news because they don't hurt anyone, so people only hear about the extremists, then believe that all Christians are xenophobes and homophobes. Just as most other stereotypes are based in truth, and yet wildly exaggerated, its the same for Christianity's opinion of homosexuality. Technically, the Bible does say its a sin, but at the same time, the Bible says pretty much everything is a sin, you can't ******* sleep or walk three steps without sinning. Later in the Bible, Jesus also says that as times change, so too will the world. And that the rules of Christianity must be flexible and able to be rewritten sometimes. The only thing set in stone are the 10 commandments. Its just for some reason, no one ever bothered to rewrite them like he told them too. The book is incredibly dated, and almost all Christians know to take it with a grain of salt. 85% of us understand that the older rules no longer apply and live our lives in a way that doesn't go around ******* other people over, and pissing them off by pounding on their doors every 3 days. Those anti-gay Christians are just religious zealots, extremists and nothing more. Honestly, the way they act is a disgrace to the Christian community, and gives us a bad name. They seem to forger the number one rule is Love your neighbor, and decide to piss on everyones opinion of us. I apologize for any offense those nuts have caused you.


TL ; DR Most Christians don't give a **** , the ones that do nitpick and ignore everything that doesn't suit them. They're intolerant people, and don't represent what we are.


fun fact, I also believe in Evolution, and am still a Christian, just another one of those things they give us a bad name for. We can be as scientific as we want.
#165 to #77 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
A question in doubt, but a respectful one... How do you come to believe the 10 commandments are the only laws set in stone whilst excluding all others?
User avatar #175 to #165 - pokimone (07/20/2013) [-]
I'm not excluding the rest, they're all perfectly valid rules. But like I said, Jesus did say that times change, and that when they do, sometimes the rules have to change to accommodate the new way things work, however the commandments stay set because of how general they are in nature. People tend to ignore the part where the bible says the rules are general.


TL ; DR "They're more like guidlines, anyway."
#177 to #175 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
I see where you're coming from. Anyway, as an ex-Christian atheist, I admire your tolerant values. I won't say that I don't contribute to the heat, but I wish everyone including me would think about the issue more objectively and try to cooperate for sake of truth.
User avatar #181 to #177 - pokimone (07/20/2013) [-]
Well, I admit, I used to be a baptist, and my congregation kicked me out for being gay. For a while, I hated religion and everything to do with it, but I met this one group of methodists, who were so kind and loving and accepting towards me, that I guess it just drew me back in. ^^"
User avatar #124 to #77 - lumpymandude (07/20/2013) [-]
Yes, the Catholic church wouldn't wanna make the news for being by far the biggest charity in world
User avatar #135 to #124 - pokimone (07/20/2013) [-]
I'm not saying they don't do good. I'm saying that their views are different. I'm fully aware that the Catholic church donates huge sums and takes in children and the like. What I am saying, is that they have a strict no gay policy, which isn't something all Christians have. I'm trying to defend the Church here, not attack it mate.
User avatar #38 to #36 - zenaki (07/20/2013) [-]
You know there are Christians that accept people as they are right? Just because our religion doesn't approve of it as most religions don't doesn't make it the go to one for hate. Time to learn up before you jump on a hate train buddy.
User avatar #41 to #38 - lordmoldywart (07/20/2013) [-]
It was an honest statement, no troll intended. There is no need to be upset. I see no hate train either, seeing as I wasn't hating on Christianity for their beliefs.

I know more about the teachings of Christianity than you could ever hope to know, having being brought up as a Jehovah's Witness, constant Bible study was part of my childhood growing up. Don't tell me to learn up, when it is in fact you who is the ignorant one. I'm agnostic now, but it still baffles me to see homosexuals like yourself as Christians. Sure, Christians are told to love everybody, including homosexuals, but they also believe you are a sinner and will be damned for eternity. You can get that same love from another community, but one that doesn't believe you're going to hell
User avatar #58 to #36 - heartlessrobot (07/20/2013) [-]
No, a Christian Feminist would be an oxymoron.
#30 to #28 - trickytrickster (07/20/2013) [-]
One of my good friends is gay and very Catholic.
#115 to #28 - kez (07/20/2013) [-]
I'm an athiest Christian
User avatar #136 to #115 - pokimone (07/20/2013) [-]
I'm an offensive and I find this Athiest.
User avatar #64 to #28 - dharkmoswen (07/20/2013) [-]
I'm pagan and Christian.... don't feel too bad.
User avatar #7 - ssurtrebor **User deleted account** (07/20/2013) [-]
Matthew 5:17-19: "For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Therefore anyone who sets aside one of the least of these commands and teaches others accordingly will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven.”

So yes, Jesus actually did say something about it, just not as directly as people would've liked, I guess.
#45 to #7 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
He said until everything was accomplished. Do you know what he was talking about?
User avatar #50 to #7 - hudis (07/20/2013) [-]
Did Jesus technically say that you're going to heaven either way or am I too inebriated to make sense out of biblical verses right now?
User avatar #242 to #50 - ssurtrebor **User deleted account** (07/21/2013) [-]
No. He says "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me." (John 14:6) So the only way to get to heaven is to believe that Jesus lived a perfect life and died a sinless death for your sake, not his. "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life." (John 3:16)
#126 to #7 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
It's in the Bible, it MUST be true!
#11 to #7 - paulthehero (07/20/2013) [-]
I'm glad at least someone else knows about the more subtle way Jesus taught sometimes.
User avatar #233 - strangemoo (07/21/2013) [-]
'The Jesus' lel
#184 - macuto (07/20/2013) [-]
The bible is too ambiguous. Every interpretation es basically a different religion
The bible is too ambiguous. Every interpretation es basically a different religion
#123 - fistoftheaxis (07/20/2013) [-]
I just googled "gay jesus porn". "Passio", eh?
#113 - lordorochimaru (07/20/2013) [-]
Because he is not real.Just a myth
User avatar #116 to #113 - KingBoo (07/20/2013) [-]
People back then would believe anything...
#127 to #113 - mistafishy (07/20/2013) [-]
He's real to billions.   
   
He just isn't real to you.   
   
WHY IS SANTA CLAUSE IN THAT PHOTO!?
He's real to billions.

He just isn't real to you.

WHY IS SANTA CLAUSE IN THAT PHOTO!?
#152 to #127 - KungFuZerO (07/20/2013) [-]
"He's real to billions"
I did not realize that someone's existence could be subjective
Oh god, my sides
#168 to #152 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
The belief, of course. Now stop being a smartass.
#170 to #168 - KungFuZerO (07/20/2013) [-]
Its a joke, not a dick
dont take it so hard
#200 to #170 - anon (07/21/2013) [-]
thts rught nikkah, thur aint no white jesus, jesus is blac. **** all dem nikkuhs tht think my niikkuh is white. JESUS AINT NO MUTHAFACKIN WHIT ***** !!!!


nah, but in all respect, go suck my blak coc, bitch
#243 to #200 - KungFuZerO (07/21/2013) [-]
That was the saddest attempt at an insult i've ever seen

#176 to #170 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
It didn't sound like a joke, but if you say so.
#241 to #127 - anon (07/21/2013) [-]
>Clause
#90 - anon (07/20/2013) [-]
the jesus
User avatar #62 - pimpinboobnugget (07/20/2013) [-]
I would like ONE GOOD reason why homosexuals are bad.
User avatar #118 to #62 - bradonloch (07/20/2013) [-]
They keep buying all of the stylish clothes before us straight people even get a chance to look at them before they become part of an ever-expanding wardrobe of fabulousness.
User avatar #121 to #62 - lumpymandude (07/20/2013) [-]
This is the biggest trap post. If you respond, you will be hit with a torrent of red and 15 comments why you are actually retarded
User avatar #71 to #62 - roliga (07/20/2013) [-]
If you took five seconds to actually read the Bible you'd find that no one ever says "homosexuals are bad people because they are homosexuals". They only don't want gay marriage because the legal term for marriage is pretty much derived from the christian ideal of marriage, then one should not necessarily desecrate that via government decree, as that would be government affecting religious practice, further destroying the separation of church and state since marriage was adopted in the beginning. Also if you legalize homoesexuality then you have to start recognizing other forms of relations such as polygamy, inter species relations (horse x human weird **** ), etc. The government should have no role in marriage whatsoever in all reality.



Boom
#97 to #71 - traceirving (07/20/2013) [-]
'if you legalize homoesexuality then you have to start recognizing other forms of relations such as polygamy, inter species relations'
Not sure if you're trolling or if you just are honestly that beyond saving. Are you serious?
Well hopefully you can take solace in the fact that people like you are the reason the church gets a bad name.
I have no problem with religion, but you personally are a cunt. Good day.
User avatar #101 to #97 - roliga (07/20/2013) [-]
alright
User avatar #82 to #71 - zanea (07/20/2013) [-]
Inter species relations will never be legal because a relationship requires two consenting entities and since animals cannot speak for themselves it is considered an act of cruelty to pursue romantic relationships... polygamy is perfectly fine in other cultural contexts. Since marriage is a fairly universal concept they wouldn't be "desecrating" anything other than conflicting with christian values( boo friggin hoo).
#96 to #82 - alexanderh (07/20/2013) [-]
Actually, bestiality is legal in Denmark. The same rules apply to animals as they do to humans; as long as it isn't rape, and neither party is a minor, it is legal. And we also have gay marriage (even in christian churches. Some priests do refuse to marry gay couples, but gay couples can get married).
As far as I know, the line between consensual bestiality and rape is that if the animal doesn't struggle, it's consensual.

I don't know if inter-species marriage is legal here, but if it is, I believe it is a "town hall wedding", where you go to the local town hall and sign some papers, legally marrying you. I'm pretty sure you can't marry an animal in a church, but I wouldn't be that surprised if you could.
User avatar #99 to #96 - zanea (07/20/2013) [-]
Thats still frickin cruelty! an animal can be trained not to struggle, does that mean it likes to be ****** ? absolutely not
#102 to #99 - alexanderh (07/20/2013) [-]
So can humans. If a human is conditioned not to struggle, does it mean it is consensual? Of course not.
I'm just saying that, in Denmark, it's legal as long as the animal is consenting. How that is determined, I'm not sure. But it is legal.

And no, I don't believe it is cruelty if the animal in question is enjoying it. Just as I wouldn't say that it is cruel to a human woman to have consenting sex with her, especially not if she enjoys it.
#85 to #71 - gilfhunter (07/20/2013) [-]
Homosexuality will lead to bestiality being recognized? Okay, when animals develop the sentience and language skills on par with their human counterparts to the level that they can consent to a relationship ( And have people actually understand that consent) I will be more likely to believe that....
User avatar #78 to #71 - Furubatsu (07/20/2013) [-]
If the "ideal" Christian marriages were still happening my father would've been legally allowed to sell me at 12 years old for two goats and a camel.
User avatar #98 to #78 - Shramin ONLINE (07/20/2013) [-]
Christian ideal or Bible ideal?
Just asking since the old testament would be what Judaism follows while the new testament, is what formed Christianity, with Christ as the figure head.

Not defending religion, just asking to make sure the "facts" are correct.
User avatar #172 to #98 - Furubatsu (07/20/2013) [-]
Jeudo-Christian Abrahamic scripture bible.

And I'm not bashing religion (I'm Catholic) but you have to admit that there are bits that are a little out-dated.
User avatar #182 to #172 - Shramin ONLINE (07/20/2013) [-]
There is a lot that is outdated, but that's a discussion for another time.
User avatar #79 to #78 - roliga (07/20/2013) [-]
I didn't say it's the direct ideal, I said it's derived. Read closer next time.
#86 to #79 - gilfhunter (07/20/2013) [-]
The concept of marriage as a legal entity predates the bible by nearly a thousand years.
User avatar #87 to #86 - roliga (07/20/2013) [-]
Marriage as a concept does, the US legal definition of marriage on the other hand does not.
#89 to #87 - gilfhunter (07/20/2013) [-]
That definition was laid down when man and woman marriages were the only ones that didnt get you shunned..We are alot smarter since then. Also, marriages at that time were rarely for love, often to gain some kind of leverage of benifits between the parties. The idea of marriage then, and the idea of marriage now (Wanting to attenpt to spend the rest of your life with someone because you love them) are different altogether.
User avatar #91 to #62 - douevensax (07/20/2013) [-]
They're so gay.
User avatar #66 to #62 - Furubatsu (07/20/2013) [-]
They steal all the hot men!
User avatar #76 to #66 - mechaemperor (07/20/2013) [-]
The ARE the hot men.
User avatar #156 - alhemicar (07/20/2013) [-]
Guess what? Neither did he say "I am God" or "Worship me". 95% of the Bible aren't direct quotes of Jesus.
#236 - faithrider (07/21/2013) [-]
yes, Jesus never explicitly said anything is wrong with it. however OTHER places in the bible say it, mainly in the old testament.

now that said, here is my stance on it. yes it is a sin, but there are other places the bible explicitly says not to judge, as it is God's job to do so. in addition i really have no place to judge other people's sin because i myself have sinned. Jesus DID in fact say "you will be judged by the measure you use" so the way i see it i am in no place to hate on other sinners...because i am one
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