LOL, History. There's also the Battle of Karánsebes in which the Austrians attacked themselves (although that may not happened) Or the time Britain was at war w
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LOL, History

LOL, History. There's also the Battle of Karánsebes in which the Austrians attacked themselves (although that may not happened) Or the time Britain was at war w

There's also the Battle of Karánsebes in which the Austrians attacked themselves (although that may not happened)

Or the time Britain was at war with Zanzibar for 40 minutes

Source: Imgur/Wikipedia

oh DI
if you dbn' t thins history is amusing then ybu' re wrong because
one time 3 different guys declared themselves pope all at once
and they all each other and it was basically the
funniest thing ever
what abaut that time the Lichtenstein army sent as men to Italy to tight
and came back with 81
what abaut that one mexican president who lasted 45 minutes in notice
Padre
sun President -at Meeting
In Emmett
February 1913 -' " February 1913
c. 45 minutes}
...
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Submitted: 07/18/2013
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[ 117 comments ]
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#21 - eddymolly (07/18/2013) [+] (14 replies)
stickied
Every time history posts happen, I always like to post this, information on Jack Churchill:

- Lead commandos in WW2 armed with a longbow, arrows, and a Scottish broadsword.
- Only man to kill someone in WW2 with a Longbow, and probably the first Longbow kill in a war for a couple of hundred years.
- Led a beach charge playing a song on the bagpipes, before grenading the emplacements.
- Was captured and sent to a concentration camp in Oranienburg, Germany
- Escaped and tried to walk to Baltic coast.
- Was freed from second concentration camp
- Sent to Burma just as Hiroshima and Nagasaki were bombed
- On the end of the war, was quoted saying "If it wasn't for those damn Yanks, we could have kept the war going another 10 years."
- Starred in a movie "The Thief of Bagdad." after leaving the army
- Became a mercenary in Palestine, then an army instructor in Australia where he learnt to surf
- Retired back to England and became the first man to ride the River Severn’s five-foot tidal bore and did it on his own designed board.
- Also, he used to throw his attaché case out of the train window on his way home because he was throwing his case into his own back garden so he wouldn't have to carry it from the station.
#67 - mattdoggy ONLINE (07/19/2013) [-]
>The allied forces once bombarded an Alaskan Island for several weeks and landed men to retake the island from the Japanese. After a few days and over 300 deaths, plane crashes, and ships being sunk, they found out that nobody was even there.   
   
>There were a group of soldiers in WW1 who joined the Russians to fight against the Germans. When the Russians declared a cease fire they were left to die via the Germans. The troops found out and decided to flee. They went east along Russian Railroads till they hit the sea, stole boats, sailed them to America. Got on more boats to go to Europe, just so they can fight in the war again. They got there the day the war ended   
   
>When the first Crusade took place, the Western Christians arriving to relieve the warn out Eastern Christians from Muslim attacks were mistaken as an invading army and the gates of Constantinople were closed.    
   
>A Union General during he Civil war rode up to an artillery emplacement and saw his men hiding from people shooting at a thousand yards. He yelled at his men for being cowards and then said "they couldn't hit an elephant at this dist.." when a shot went through his eye and he slumped over dead.   
   
>The last person to die in WW1 was killed because of a fast watch. The cease fire was set for a certain minute, and on that minute he jumped up to great the Germans across from him, when a sniper promptly hit him. The war ended a few seconds later.   
   
>When the Germans invaded the Soviet Union during WW2, Stalin denied the news and had anyone who tried to tell him or take actions against the Germans killed. It took him several weeks to accept the truth.   
   
>When Stalin had a heart attack, the first person to be brave enough to check on him got another person, who got another person, who got another person, etc. It took several hours before his son found out and they finally got a doctor which none of them *cough cough* had thought to do before then   
   
?
>The allied forces once bombarded an Alaskan Island for several weeks and landed men to retake the island from the Japanese. After a few days and over 300 deaths, plane crashes, and ships being sunk, they found out that nobody was even there.

>There were a group of soldiers in WW1 who joined the Russians to fight against the Germans. When the Russians declared a cease fire they were left to die via the Germans. The troops found out and decided to flee. They went east along Russian Railroads till they hit the sea, stole boats, sailed them to America. Got on more boats to go to Europe, just so they can fight in the war again. They got there the day the war ended

>When the first Crusade took place, the Western Christians arriving to relieve the warn out Eastern Christians from Muslim attacks were mistaken as an invading army and the gates of Constantinople were closed.

>A Union General during he Civil war rode up to an artillery emplacement and saw his men hiding from people shooting at a thousand yards. He yelled at his men for being cowards and then said "they couldn't hit an elephant at this dist.." when a shot went through his eye and he slumped over dead.

>The last person to die in WW1 was killed because of a fast watch. The cease fire was set for a certain minute, and on that minute he jumped up to great the Germans across from him, when a sniper promptly hit him. The war ended a few seconds later.

>When the Germans invaded the Soviet Union during WW2, Stalin denied the news and had anyone who tried to tell him or take actions against the Germans killed. It took him several weeks to accept the truth.

>When Stalin had a heart attack, the first person to be brave enough to check on him got another person, who got another person, who got another person, etc. It took several hours before his son found out and they finally got a doctor which none of them *cough cough* had thought to do before then

?
User avatar #91 to #67 - iridium (07/19/2013) [-]
Wait, that first one. If there was no one there, who was killing them? This was the allies, not the Japanese Kamikaze. Or is it just that they fought over an empty island? Kind of confused.
User avatar #92 to #91 - mattdoggy ONLINE (07/19/2013) [-]
They would accidentally shoot each other, set up booby traps for the enemy which they would then set off. Some of them froze to death, had misfires, died from the elements and so on. The planes would crash because it was too cold and the ships would hit shallows and hidden rocks.
#78 to #67 - shatt (07/19/2013) [-]
in world war 2 brazil mowed down a bunch of dolphins in the strait of gilbraltar
#88 to #67 - anon (07/19/2013) [-]
>When stalin was on his death bed, his son leaned over looked at his face then to the doctor and asked "is he dead?"
to the stalin opening his eyes for the last time to give his song an evil glance
User avatar #130 to #88 - blbrian (07/19/2013) [-]
Such a musical death
#76 to #67 - whargarbler (07/19/2013) [-]
That sniper knew the war was ending in a matter of minutes or even seconds, and shot him anyway.

What a dick.
User avatar #111 to #76 - youarelying (07/19/2013) [-]
i'm not sure but i think the dude that got sniped was my great great grandfather john fortes/fortezza. i heard a similar story about him being the last to die in a war because of some asshole sniper. i just don't remember if it was ww1 or the Korean war
#123 to #111 - alumah (07/19/2013) [-]
Was he alive in the 1910s or the 1960s?
User avatar #124 to #123 - youarelying (07/19/2013) [-]
if i knew then i would know which war he was in
#125 to #124 - alumah (07/19/2013) [-]
well the guy sniped, was George lawrence price. so no
User avatar #126 to #125 - youarelying (07/19/2013) [-]
guess it was the other war then
#1 - anon (07/18/2013) [-]
Or when the Prusian army accidentally attacked itself and lost over 10.000 men.

Or when the Allied forces invaded a small island, and lost 300men aswell as a Destroyer. Only to find out the Japanse abandoned the island more then a week earlier.

Or when Emperor Caligula declared war on the god of the sea, Poseidon. He had his troops stab the sea for a few days then swaggered of, declaring total victory.

History is hilarious.
#2 to #1 - poach (07/18/2013) [-]
Austrian Army, Battle of Karansebes, but yeah the story is funny as **** (anyone interested there's a wiki article on it!)
User avatar #3 to #2 - repostforlife (07/18/2013) [-]
what is it called?
#4 to #3 - poach (07/18/2013) [-]
The article about the Battle of Karansebes is called "Battle of Karansebes", surprisingly.
User avatar #5 to #4 - repostforlife (07/18/2013) [-]
I thought you meant a wiki article about funny moments in history. but I will search that up as well
#7 to #1 - theplant (07/18/2013) [-]
I think it was Neptune
User avatar #15 to #7 - thejerseyjenn (07/18/2013) [-]
No pretty sure it was Poseidon.
User avatar #19 to #15 - killerliquid (07/18/2013) [-]
If he believed in Roman myth, then it would be Neptune.
User avatar #23 to #22 - blargchikahonkhonk (07/18/2013) [-]
no he declared war on neptune
the roman and greek gods are the same as the romans took the greek gods and renamed then so neptune is the effectivly roman name for posiden

www.omg-facts.com/History/Roman-Emperor-Caligula-Was-So-Crazy-He-T/1514

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caligula
Western expansion[edit]
In AD 40, Caligula expanded the Roman Empire into Mauretania and made a significant attempt at expanding into Britannia – even challenging Neptune in his campaign. The conquest of Britannia was fully realized by his successors.
(the line i mean unless u want to search through)

You need to login to view this link

(ps linking sights on the internet is completly useless unless those sights have some form of credibility and proper sourcing. I could go on for hours find these sites and acheive nothing none of the sights in this thread have any credability except maby wikipedia and that sites credibility is dubious at best)
User avatar #24 to #23 - thejerseyjenn (07/18/2013) [-]
so technically everyone's right?
User avatar #25 to #24 - blargchikahonkhonk (07/18/2013) [-]
no because saying he declared war on posiden is wrong because he didnt believe in posiden i said that neptune is the effectivly roman name for posiden but only effectivly the romans didnt believe in posiden they worshiped neptune. even though the 2 where the same in everyway except the name (they where even identical in art) they where conidered by the romans differant. to the romans posiden was a silly myth the greaks made up whilst neptune was real (being the crazy bastards they where). worshipping posiden woulc also be punishable as it was considered as worshiping a false god ( in the same way christians where killed in rome for practicing christianity). if caligula had declared that he believed in posiden he would have been asssasinated sooner ( he was assasinated in the end after many failed attempts throughout his ruleing)
User avatar #27 to #25 - thejerseyjenn (07/18/2013) [-]
alright cool.
Neptune it is.
#138 to #27 - anon (07/19/2013) [-]
You are all wrong. Caligula was ******* mad but he never declared war on Neptune or any other god, it's a joke from the 1934 play "I, Claudius".
User avatar #108 to #25 - nymikemet (07/19/2013) [-]
Actually, Yes. Poseidon is the Greek god of the sea and the Romans "Romanized" it into Neptune. They made no changes to Neptune's background so its pretty much the same God
User avatar #129 to #1 - jajathezombie (07/19/2013) [-]
Caligula was one crazy ************ . Once, at some game, he had a whole section of the crowd thrown into the arena to be eaten by animals because they ran out of criminals and he was bored. He also claimed to be a god, pimped out his sisters, and appointed his horse as a priest.
#10 - pappathethird (07/18/2013) [-]
Somehow that "then you're wrong" made me chuckle
Somehow that "then you're wrong" made me chuckle
User avatar #137 - AeroChic (07/19/2013) [-]
My personal favorite is the assassination of Franz Ferdinand. Everything that could've gone wrong, went wrong, but they still managed to kill the guy. Here's the story:
-Franz is in a parade
-Assassins line up along path; one guy goes to the wrong spot, not on the parade path
-1st guy chickens out
-2nd guy chickens out
-3rd guy throws a grenade at Franz's car. It took too long to go off, and bounces off the car.
-Grenade guy tries to kill himself with cyanide, he pukes it up, so he jumps in water to kill himself instead, but it's a shallow pool of water. Dumbass.
-The next two guys don't do their job for whatever reason
-Franz says, hey let's visit those people who actually got hit by the grenade from Grenade guy.
-Take a turn off the path
-The guy who was at the wrong spot shoots him
And that's how WWI began.
#118 - lozarus (07/19/2013) [-]
If you think Jack churchill is awesome, then you havent heard about Adrian Carton de Wiart.

He served in the Boer War, First World War, and Second World War; was shot in the face, head, stomach, ankle, leg, hip, and ear; survived a plane crash; tunnelled out of a POW camp; and bit off his own fingers when a doctor refused to amputate them. He later wrote that "Frankly I had enjoyed the war... and why do people want peace if the war is so much fun" when describing his service in the First World War.

He even got shot more times than it says there. Lost an eye, a hand and bit of an ear.
#128 to #118 - theoddanon (07/19/2013) [-]
He crashed the plane on purpose because he thought the flight was too boring and on that plane was a cargo of wine, of course in true Jack Churchill style not a drop was lost.
#60 - anon (07/19/2013) [-]
Or when the u.s. surrounded that dictator in panama in the 70's in a church. He tried to claim sanctuary so we surrounded the church with speakers and blasted "panama" by van halen for three days until he came out
User avatar #63 to #60 - doganator (07/19/2013) [-]
**** didnt log in
#117 - thesinful (07/19/2013) [-]
The shortest known war in history is the Anglo-Zanzibar war, which occurred on August 27, 1896. After the old Sultan died, the new Sultan of the island claimed the throne without asking the British for permission first. They demanded he step down, and when he refused, the Royal Navy started firing on his palace just after 9 AM. 38 minutes later the war was over, and that same afternoon the British installed a new, more cooperative Sultan on the throne. Zanzibar's casualties totaled 500 soldiers killed or wounded and three boats sunk; the only British casualty was one injured sailor, who later recovered.
#151 to #117 - wotanpiky (07/19/2013) [-]
at least he tried
at least he tried
User avatar #105 - mrgoodlove (07/19/2013) [-]
What about the time Caligula declared war on Poseidon and has his soldiers march up to the sea and throw spears at the water?
User avatar #8 - bothemastaofall ONLINE (07/18/2013) [-]
This one time, the Grand Dragon of the KKK had complete control of Illonis, but lost it when he "chewed" a secretary to death.
User avatar #81 to #8 - chowbot (07/19/2013) [-]
Illonis?
User avatar #84 to #81 - bothemastaofall ONLINE (07/19/2013) [-]
Ilinois whatever
User avatar #83 - hurleyy (07/19/2013) [-]
One time an Emperor declared war on poseidon. He gathered his troops, when to the beach, and ordered his soldiers to attack. They stabbed the water for i believer 3 day(maybe hours i dunno), and the emperor declared victory.

Thats why none of you have ever seen poseidon
User avatar #94 to #83 - KabulMan (07/19/2013) [-]
Caligula...the Emperor you where thinking was Caligula.

Also on the shores of Normandy, on the way to Britain, Emperor Caligula ordered his entire army to collect sea shells for the whole day. Guy knew how to have fun
#131 - BigDoktor (07/19/2013) [-]
"what about that time the Lichtenstein army sent 80 men to Italy to tight
and came back with 81"
User avatar #87 - darthacerbus (07/19/2013) [-]
>Great Emu War
>Emperor of the United States
User avatar #73 - atmartins (07/19/2013) [-]
In portugal we had a king who reigned for 20 something minutes, there was a revolution, and the old king was killed, and then a new king appointed, then that new king was assassinated right after being crowned
User avatar #96 to #73 - darkbladept (07/19/2013) [-]
já nao me lembro qual era,poderias dizer qual era essa rei?
User avatar #159 to #96 - atmartins (07/21/2013) [-]
Foi o D. Luis II, sucedeu o seu pai D. Carlos I e foi assassinado 20 minutos depois de ter sido coroado.

It was King Luis the Second, he succeded his father King Carlos the First and was assassinated 20 minutes after being crowned.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_shortest-reigning_monarchs

Check this page for the list, you'll find him under the Less than a day index.
User avatar #144 - minnten (07/19/2013) [-]
One of my personal favorites was the US's secret plans in the 50s to nuke the moon. Why? Cuz we could.
#110 - anon (07/19/2013) [-]
Everything that has ever been amusing technically happened in history.
User avatar #103 - wolfmango (07/19/2013) [-]
Im not sure where but when the americans stormed part of italy in ww2 they found the area completly abandoned. In the process of moving on an italian american soldier heard a phone rining and answered in italian and then denied that there were americans in the area preventing conflict. All in all the only person injured that day was a man who got bit by a donkey after trying to pet it
#102 - blanketandpillow (07/19/2013) [-]
A Roman emperor named Caligula once tried to conquer the sea, so he had his troops gather seashells to prove his victory. When he got back to Rome, he was pissed that there was no party to celebrate his victory like their normally is for a conquest, so he waited outside the city walls until the party began. He would often dress up as gods and demigods to attend political parties, and didn't answer to his name, but only too the god he was potraying. He tried to put his horse into office, and I believe he eventually manage to make him a priest.


If it weren't for the whole murdering random civilans because he was bored, Caligula would have been a pretty cool buddy to hang around with
User avatar #53 - foelkera (07/19/2013) [-]
Or that time the Austrian army attacked itself and lost 10,000 men
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