Sex. . when I was little, I thought sex was just kissing while you were naked and one time when I got out of the shower! kissed my eat on the head and then I re
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Sex

when I was little, I thought sex was just kissing while you
were naked and one time when I got out of the shower!
kissed my eat on the head and then I remembered I was
naked and ran downstairs crying saying than had sex with
the cat. You should have seen my moms face.
Anonymous
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Views: 46942
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Submitted: 07/16/2013
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Comments(120):

[ 120 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#18 - theberserker (07/17/2013) [-]
For an embarrassing amount of years i thought girls had dicks in their butts because when i was younger i had watched Ace Ventura: pet detective..... Boy those were some confusing years.......
#20 to #18 - ffinfinity ONLINE (07/17/2013) [-]
I laughed a lot harder than I should have omg
User avatar #108 to #18 - WolfRider (07/17/2013) [-]
i used to think nipples were buttons that kept us from coming undone
User avatar #113 to #18 - riggedarcade (07/17/2013) [-]
that's okay. I used to think women didn't have nipples because I watched the X Men movie and Mystique had removed all doubt.
#70 to #18 - drosenblum (07/17/2013) [-]
Some girls have dicks in their butts
Some girls have dicks in their butts
#19 to #18 - anon (07/17/2013) [-]
When I was younger I thought the male genitalia was a weird stack of balls, anal beads style. I was very confused too. I did not know what a male crotch looked like until freshmen year of high school in health class.
#41 to #19 - anon (07/17/2013) [-]
How the **** does a human being go until freshman year without knowing what a dick looks like?

Sex ed starts in the 4th grade here.
#100 to #41 - Fgner (07/17/2013) [-]
USA - Florida - Public schooling

Sex ed starts in 4th or 5th grade, depending on student's intelligence. Sex ed class teaches about the genitals of the SAME GENDER. Boys and girls don't learn about the opposite sex. Sex ed of 7th or 8th grade - Everyone gets to watch videos of internal cumshots.
#26 to #18 - theprocrastibator (07/17/2013) [-]
>mfw I remember what I thought of women and their genitalia.

I thought girls had dicks and women became pregnant when the bride and groom kissed at a wedding. For a long time I was trying to think of a way I could avoid the kiss at a wedding in the future...

Now onto what I thought sex was.

I thought (after I learned of the magical baby bearing taco) that a husband and wife would go to a doctor and say that they wanted a kid. They would then be taken to a room with a doctor and the doctor would put the dude's dick in the girl's ********** .

Boom. Sex.
#24 - gidvid (07/17/2013) [-]
story male teacher told me:
>be young, around 7
>have a friend, who is a girl
>hang around a lot, really like her
>really want to hug her
>remember seeing something about "rape" on the news
>ask mom what rape means
>mom panics, makes some bs
>"it's like trying to give someone a hug but them not wanting to hug you"
>think about it a while
>still want to hug girl
>girl friend may not want to hug me
>hanging out with her again
>look at her with the most genuine face
>"I really want to rape you"
>her fw
#56 to #24 - onenuttedchimp (07/17/2013) [-]
And your knowledge of the word now still wouldn't change what you would say to her.
#69 - jordanish (07/17/2013) [-]
So my turn:
>be 4 and a half, mum gets pregers with my brother
>start asking questions, they buy me some book explaining sex to kids
>didn't do specifics but explained sex was between adults, involved special cuddle etc.
>didn't explain anatomical differences or how your balls (or ovaries) work
>new girls didn't have a dick but didn't know that vagina was for more than peeing
>Figure sex is anal (from seeing positions women are in when they give birth and baby grows in stomach **** )
>fast forward 3 or 4 years
>have crush on girl in class
>friend teasing me about liking girl whle we play video games with my dad
>says I want to have sex with her
>"NO DUDE! THAT'S GROSS! SHE POOPS FROM THERE!
dad's face when
User avatar #74 to #69 - liquidvoodoo (07/17/2013) [-]
>be 4 and a half, mum gets pregers with my brother

Aw, man..

I read that totally wrong..
User avatar #82 to #74 - minecraftlamer (07/17/2013) [-]
you are not alone

internet what have you done to me
#117 to #74 - anon (07/17/2013) [-]
me too
#30 - cierrayooo (07/17/2013) [-]
Alright this story needs a little background. When I was like 7 I thought that sex was taking all your clothes off and kissing or cuddling. Anyways I was at a family friend's house and they had a boy around my age. We both really liked each other and considered ourselves "boyfriend and girlfriend". So when we were alone in his room playing and 			****		 like 7 year olds are suppose to do, I stop and looked at him with a sly smile and said "wanna have sex?" He stopped and looked at him and asked me what the hell sex was. And me, with my only knowledge of sex being from a scene in a movie I watched from around the corner when I was supposed to be in bed, told him what I thought it was. His eyes got real big and said "sure!" so we got in his bed, I took off my shirt and he took off his pants and we laid there for like ten minutes not saying anything until he rolled over grabbed my hand and kissed my cheek and said he loved me.    
TL;DR The guy I actually lose my virginity to has a lot to live up to.
Alright this story needs a little background. When I was like 7 I thought that sex was taking all your clothes off and kissing or cuddling. Anyways I was at a family friend's house and they had a boy around my age. We both really liked each other and considered ourselves "boyfriend and girlfriend". So when we were alone in his room playing and **** like 7 year olds are suppose to do, I stop and looked at him with a sly smile and said "wanna have sex?" He stopped and looked at him and asked me what the hell sex was. And me, with my only knowledge of sex being from a scene in a movie I watched from around the corner when I was supposed to be in bed, told him what I thought it was. His eyes got real big and said "sure!" so we got in his bed, I took off my shirt and he took off his pants and we laid there for like ten minutes not saying anything until he rolled over grabbed my hand and kissed my cheek and said he loved me.
TL;DR The guy I actually lose my virginity to has a lot to live up to.
0
#72 to #30 - shishiko **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #102 to #30 - Fgner (07/17/2013) [-]
1) That's about as adorable as it gets. Although I was expecting you to say that that same kid would eventually gobble up your virginity.

2) Also - This is why I don't support sex ed being taught in kindergarten. Little kids aren't exactly the best at being smart.

3) I went to see how old you are since you haven't lost your virginity (no offense of course. People have different opinions on when, where, how, etc and I totally respect that) - did you really post non-nude selfies on Funnyjunk? Weird stuff man... weird stuff.
User avatar #127 to #102 - cierrayooo (07/17/2013) [-]
Haha yeah... I guess you could say I'm a bit weird. Call me old fashion but I want to make sure I really love the person I give it away to. Although, I have considered doing nudes, maybe I'll get around to it one day.
User avatar #128 to #127 - Fgner (07/17/2013) [-]
Nah, plenty of people go that way. I'm more of a "whatever the girl feels like" - one relationship was dry for a year and a half, one and we started doing the nasty a week in (which is currently my fiance!). Not one for one night stands, though.

Anywho, I hope you have good luck finding a suitable mate for your initial coitus!
User avatar #129 to #128 - cierrayooo (07/17/2013) [-]
Thanks!
#47 to #30 - webshark (07/17/2013) [-]
That is so adorable! My body is full of happy.
That is so adorable! My body is full of happy.
User avatar #31 to #30 - darkangeloffire (07/17/2013) [-]
That warmed my heart. The heart that only feels when I watch the end of Angel Beats or Kids Next Door (The ending was absolutely heart wrenching)
#40 to #30 - anon (07/17/2013) [-]
I could live up to that, or we could bang in that Bush over there.

But either way.
#58 - painispancakes (07/17/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #67 to #58 - kingron (07/17/2013) [-]
what episode is that?
User avatar #81 to #67 - painispancakes (07/17/2013) [-]
Season 5 episode 25. Candy Streets
#92 - teefa (07/17/2013) [-]
i literally used to believe that women pooped babies and whenever id do my business i was always worried i was going to have a baby.
User avatar #75 - pegasister (07/17/2013) [-]
I was raised catholic, I used to think a woman magically got pregnant after getting married.
#57 - tehskyizblue ONLINE (07/17/2013) [-]
I honestly thought women had a hole the size of a pin and that a man had to pee in it to get someone pregnant...Close enough
#1 - phudgepacker ONLINE (07/16/2013) [-]
Hue
#91 - lankyman (07/17/2013) [-]
I remember watching one of my first porn's, and thinking that the bellend was the condom, like a small leatherhead for your penis
User avatar #124 to #91 - spanishninja (07/17/2013) [-]
same here

felt so supid when i discovered the truth
User avatar #77 - guywithafork (07/17/2013) [-]
I thought it was when a guy rubbed a fat women's belly really hard she became pregnant.

Boy, those were some interesting years.
#13 - donthedon (07/17/2013) [-]
All of these comments describing a child's thoughts on what sex is, is the most entertaining thing I've read all day. Please continue
User avatar #76 - justinishere (07/17/2013) [-]
I used to think kissing was the way babies were made, and thats why they say "kiss the bride" at weddings
#68 - neoexdeath ONLINE (07/17/2013) [-]
And now you know why I'm grumpy.
#60 - anon (07/17/2013) [-]
:,'(
#59 - levchenko (07/17/2013) [-]
This image has expired
#93 - georgiohill (07/17/2013) [-]
when i was young i was smart but in a children are still dumb as 			****		 kinda way, I thought that you made babies by french kissing because dna from your spit would mix and  make a baby in the girls tummy, I then thought that women gave birth through there belly button and somehow giving birth gave all girls an 'innie' because by some strange coincidence all the women in my family had 'innie' belly buttons and all the guys had 'outies'.    
   
When I had developed a bit more I learnt about sex and I thought you had to insert your penis when it was flacid into the girls fanny-slit  and leave it there until you needed to pee, then you'd pee. Then the girl would 			****		 the baby out.   
   
Mfw girls wanted to kiss me i was a mothafukin pimp
when i was young i was smart but in a children are still dumb as **** kinda way, I thought that you made babies by french kissing because dna from your spit would mix and make a baby in the girls tummy, I then thought that women gave birth through there belly button and somehow giving birth gave all girls an 'innie' because by some strange coincidence all the women in my family had 'innie' belly buttons and all the guys had 'outies'.

When I had developed a bit more I learnt about sex and I thought you had to insert your penis when it was flacid into the girls fanny-slit and leave it there until you needed to pee, then you'd pee. Then the girl would **** the baby out.

Mfw girls wanted to kiss me i was a mothafukin pimp
#90 - anon (07/17/2013) [-]
There's an episode of the Simpsons where Moe is talking to some Russian... person (obviously looks like a woman). And (s)he goes "After Cherynobyl, my penis... fall off."

So for a little while, I thought all women may have had a penis of some kind.
User avatar #95 to #90 - ludislavonac (07/17/2013) [-]
Well that is, believe it or not, actually true. A clitoris is really an undeveloped penis
User avatar #83 - dinosaurballs (07/17/2013) [-]
Was I the only 6 year old who knew exactly what sex was? I even knew what oral sex was...
User avatar #84 to #83 - makonendrak ONLINE (07/17/2013) [-]
At six years old I knew what both were, but I thought oral was just as necessary as vaginal sex when you were trying to make a baby
User avatar #89 to #84 - dinosaurballs (07/17/2013) [-]
I actually remember thinking, "If he loved me, he'd do that for me" when I thought of oral. :l Thanks T.V.!
User avatar #85 to #83 - hillbill (07/17/2013) [-]
Nope, that's why I was strange around girls until I was 15.
#55 - queencardvike (07/17/2013) [-]
When I was little I thought Vaginas were just holes the size of a small bead.
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