Psycho Hose Beast

#8 - callmecrazysam

Reply+156

(07/16/2013)[-]

I was expecting an "I'm pregnant" somewhere in there. It made complete sense in my head.

#76 to #8 - bushingenna

Reply+6

(07/17/2013)[-]

until she stabbed herself

#82 to #76 - chiktikkavaspaus

Reply+6

(07/17/2013)[-]

But it also made sense, like she wanted the baby dead because Anon didn't want to be with her.

#12 - llanox

Reply+99

(07/16/2013)[-]

I'm not sure what to feel.

#69 to #12 - dadukesta

Reply-6

(07/17/2013)[-]

I feel like it's all his fault. He broke up with her where she obviously was upset and tried to get over him by having senseless sex. Where then she finally realized she couldn't. He writes it off as gold digging and abuses his position of power by having sex with her, then doesn't expect her to be attached to him. So he decides to put her in a mental institution?

This guy is just dumb.

#104 to #69 - cowboybebop

Reply+7

(07/17/2013)[-]

Spot the feminist.

#70 to #69 - llanox

Reply+4

(07/17/2013)[-]

Found the feminist

#72 to #70 - dadukesta

Reply-4

(07/17/2013)[-]

:L just sayin he should've just stayed with her in the first place...

#155 to #72 - abysmalshadow

Reply+2

(07/17/2013)[-]

I'd have to disagree.
He said from the start that he wasn't happy in the relationship anymore. Prolonging something like that would have only led to more pain when they finally did break up. There was no way he could have known what would happen, and although there are probably better ways he could have handled the situation, I think that if he stayed in the relationship for longer, the situation would have happened further down the road in an even more volatile manner.

#157 to #155 - dadukesta

Reply-1

(07/17/2013)[-]

Then perhaps he should've been her friend instead of just another guy who wanted to bang her. She sure is a cutie if that's her in the first picture. I can imagine she's been abused a lot in her life and he should already know that.

#175 to #157 - abysmalshadow

Reply+2

(07/17/2013)[-]

In his mind, she only tried to get back with him after she found out he was putting a successful career together. He met her selfish desire for money with a selfish desire for sex. I wouldn't exactly fault him for doing so, but I'll agree that two wrongs don't make a right; he should have made clear that he wasn't interested.
Any way I look at it, though, I can't see how it's his fault. She basically started stalking him after he tried to break it off.

#136 to #72 - telfyr

Reply0

(07/17/2013)[-]

Guys are simple creatures, if someone comes knocking on our door offering the thing we want most do you think we would say no?

#138 to #136 - dadukesta

Reply-1

(07/17/2013)[-]

I have before. Never stick your dick in a psycho bitch.
It's like dipping into the sauce of evil.

#139 to #138 - telfyr

Reply+1

(07/17/2013)[-]

Well how the **** are you supposed to know if shes psycho?

#140 to #139 - dadukesta

Reply-2

(07/17/2013)[-]

If you dump a girl after dating for 2 years and she comes back she is for sure psycho.

#146 to #140 - dadukesta

Reply-1

(07/17/2013)[-]

For example, my ex girlfriend and i really never got over each other so i told her to burn everything and get rid of everything because it just wasn't going to work out ever, sex was great but that was it. So a year passes and she calls me to check on how i am. She never forgot my phone number, i should've got it changed. But now that she's talking to me i have told her that i am her friend and nothing more because she is engaged. She persistently sends me pictures of herself in her undergarments and i tell her to stop. Why? Because i have other girls i could get that from who aren't getting married. Sure it interests me that she's hot, but she's ******* *********************************************. I have not a single doubt she would stab herself if she didn't get her way if i even hinted that she could. Words of wisdom to you all,
Bitchs be dumb,
So don't catch second hand dumb.

#2 - icelandicviking

Reply+83

(07/16/2013)[-]

I was expecting it to be a l4d witch troll thing but then i got past half of it. Amazing if its true though.

#177 to #2 - incoming

Reply0

(07/17/2013)[-]

I like to believe it. To me some stories are just too crazy to be made up, hence the saying sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. I've had a few experiences that would sound extremely fake if I ever told the story. Unfortunately, I lack any real ability to tell a tale.

#39 - skiskate

Reply+73

(07/17/2013)[-]

Holy **** the entire time i was reading this i though it was going to have a funny and ridiculous ending. Now i am just sitting here feeling sad as ****

#3 - grandtheftkoala**User deleted account**

Reply+51

(07/16/2013)[-]

This is the greatest story ever told

#17 - saturninepariah#295 on commentsRank#295

Reply+44

(07/17/2013)[-]

Awesome.
10/10 would read again.

#75 - alucord

Reply+28

(07/17/2013)[-]

"she actually does kill herself with my Kill Bill sword"
"going to be fine"

Sorry i'm a little confused, English is not my 1st languge. What happened?

#96 to #75 - brettyht

Reply+2

(07/17/2013)[-]

She lived, but I think the first "ending" was just a quick reference to Forest Gump and I think is hat he meant by "spaghetti." The Institution one is the real one.

#99 to #75 - bbboy

Reply+1

(07/17/2013)[-]

>tries to kill herself
>fails

#124 - thehumor

Reply+22

(07/17/2013)[-]

Holy ****
I was expecting a joke
Or for it to turn into song lyrics

But no
Real
Holy ****

#159 to #124 - thebeatlesfan

Reply0

(07/17/2013)[-]

Well there was a little Forrest Gump joke put in.

#141 - trollolololgabe

Reply+21

(07/17/2013)[-]

halfway through I was all Forest Gumpy

#208 to #141 - anon id: 29febcee

Reply0

(07/17/2013)[-]

you are aware that the poster posted that exact picture on the ******* post that was gump-esque, arent you

#165 to #141 - allidoisfapfapfap

Reply0

(07/17/2013)[-]

That's exactly what I thought of

#152 to #141 - anon id: 1993367e

Reply0

(07/17/2013)[-]

quadruple eyes, rascist. until in pussy. she die fresh. go have joke. kick life, zachary. x-ray virginity nightmare, much gasoline. q'uran watch entire rule through. you uses it out penis. all shoes do flat go. his just knew, looks changing. vacation bled newborn monkeys. qatar waffling embryo rapport tat yaw ulan illegibly o'cock pus.

#153 to #152 - anon id: 1993367e

Reply0

(07/17/2013)[-]

Damn auto-correct

#47 - greatbigboy

Reply+19

(07/17/2013)[-]

No punchline I is sad