The undead post. Just something I'm bringing back from the grave. trd : kin at dreams are really Weird because you amt queston the reality or them at all like y
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The undead post

The undead post. Just something I'm bringing back from the grave. trd : kin at dreams are really Weird because you amt queston the reality or them at all like y

Just something I'm bringing back from the grave

trd : kin at
dreams are really Weird because you amt queston the reality or them at
all like you could be being chased by a giant banana (stara and the only
thing on your mind is Duct, we gotta get to a blender pronto'
next time youre washing your hands next to somebody cup your hands
under the tap until the water overflows then look at them dramatically and
say 'this water is getting out of hand' it' s a guaranteed way to make friends
i have never tried it hut it is guaranteed
Have new the hipsters whilst; things like this
That' s always seemed so ridiculous to he
that people want to be around someone because
they' re pretty. its like taking your breakfast
cereals based on co r instead chaste."
JOHN GREEN
but they aunt seem to realize that the quote is than this man
since when was this
more than this
Renter; lo we the tn\ set by the male All
are Beautfiul
all lawyers are
It I ever see you guys in real his I' m your URL as bud as I
can
I dare you.
nth anal = or
have you ever lust assumed that a word was pronounced a certain way
and you are up pronouncing it Incorrectly throughout your entire lite aha
then one day someone corrects you and ts like you can almost hear Satan
laughing as the names or hell main to seep up tram underground aha
slowly burn you to death
rlr on
T' shi =
me: ‘taking test'
hey wanna hear my or satan
I HAVE BEEN WATCHING THIS SHOW FOR THE PAST
SEVEN YEARS AND JUST NOW REALIZED THEYRE
WEARING YOUNG AND OLD VERSIONS OF THE SAME
OUTFIT
I was want this like what it Madame Foster wished she
was young again so she could do errands that arent easy tor her
in her do age, so she imaginer Frankie
DON' T
STOP RIGHT THERE. Mont SINGLE STEP CLOSER.
she wears short skirts I wear
she' s cheer captain aha I respect her right to wear whatever she wants
aha participate in '' activities because I understand
that lite is not about condemning another woman‘; personal crimes: lust
Because she diesn‘ I ‘deserve the boy I have a crush on
Uranium
chalked Into my mom and retina this Sitting on my bed
thanks dad
APPARENTLY MY DAD BOUGHT THIS FOR ME BECAUSE WHEN
I SAID? WANTA MANGO ' MORNING, HE
THOUGHT I SAID 'l WANT A TO ME'
THANKS
DADDY
well at least he' s caring
man on ma We like owe Davin a conversation with someome@
thefts being really irritating or obnoxious or whatever gyou‘ re
straightjacket tram slowly reach up aha pull your little com to shut your
bids argued
I there are like 2 thousand people on earth how crazy is that
youre a we anthers them
w maybe 3 thousand
better
mini:
i' got 99 problems and being
a decaying organism that' s
born to die in a society run by
money that i can' t escape is
one of them
do you need a hug
i think we all need a hug
What had temporary tattoos on the like you rolled on the
commom aha there was a picture or a dinosaur on your an
so i called the nearby starbucks to
see if they were open because my
dad wasn' t sure and wanted me
to ask so i asked them in gollum' s
voice "HELLO IS PRECIOUS
OPEN TODAY?"
and the guy on the other line
replied with "YES PRECIOUS IS
OPEN TODAY UNTIL 3 MY
PRECIOUS "
I ******* FLIPPED OUT AND I
WAS LAUGHING AND SOBBING
AND THE GUY ON THE OTHER
LINE ASKED "IS PRECIOUS
OKAY"
...
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Views: 24494
Favorited: 108
Submitted: 07/14/2013
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#1 - outlastgaming (07/14/2013) [-]
I totally lost it, good thing I'm always alone, or I'd be getting some weird looks.
I totally lost it, good thing I'm always alone, or I'd be getting some weird looks.
#8 - cmndrfatty (07/14/2013) [-]
Dat Fosters thread.
User avatar #27 to #8 - zafara (07/15/2013) [-]
Almost as bad as when I figured out the secret to the Krabby Patty Formula was happiness and friendship. I mean, Plankton got a piece that said 'chum,' and assumed it mean chopped fish or whatever. But chum is also a term for friend, which is why only SpongeBob and that other guy could successfully make Krabby Patties because they were so friendly and happy. Squidward can't do it because he is unhappy.
User avatar #5 - ktbmnf (07/14/2013) [-]
the last one... every, single, time i read it, i laugh too loudly. damn.
User avatar #4 - rainbowtacos (07/14/2013) [-]
John Green's a cool guy, he does silly stuff but that doesn't mean he's not smart.

Also if you use a watermelon instead of a cucumber, you should see a doctor.
#12 - skittlesareepic (07/14/2013) [-]
MFW someone does the second one to me
MFW someone does the second one to me
User avatar #19 to #12 - ImChubby (07/15/2013) [-]
whats this frommmmmmmmmm
User avatar #25 to #19 - thesupervillian (07/15/2013) [-]
Its a video called "A depressed whale" A Depressed Whale
#24 - heartlessrobot (07/15/2013) [-]
This image has expired
Why the flying **** would someone type like this?
#26 to #24 - lovelyponyrarity (07/15/2013) [-]
#tumblr
#20 - tuxwonder (07/15/2013) [-]
I tried the water thing once.

At one point, I was in a public bathroom, and me and another guy were both washing our hands. When my hands started overflowing, I thought of the joke and I couldn't stop laughing. I had to sit down for a bit to stop from laughing. The guy asked me "Uh, you okay there?" and then left after I didn't respond.

I need friends.
User avatar #28 to #20 - maskedmask (07/15/2013) [-]
i'll be your friend...my precious...
User avatar #31 to #20 - jokeface ONLINE (07/15/2013) [-]
Well that's gonna be hard for you if you can't even implement the "guaranteed way to make friends" without laughing. That's like walking up to a girl with the intention of trying to **** her and then just masturbating instead.
#7 - phantasmalcat (07/14/2013) [-]
JOHN GREEN!
JOHN GREEN!
User avatar #9 - stardustdragonlord (07/14/2013) [-]
On the topic of the word that you pronounced odd, I first found the word twat when i was 13 or so, when i discovered porn. (didnt have internet til i was like 12) I always thought it was tw-at. and then I got to highschool, girl i liked corrected me said it was "Twot" and to this day I still call her a stupid twat
User avatar #13 to #9 - zakaizer (07/14/2013) [-]
Umm, you do pronounce it like "twaht", don't know where this girl of yours got her idea from

dictionary.reference.com/browse/twat?s=t
User avatar #14 to #13 - stardustdragonlord (07/14/2013) [-]
that's how she pronounced it, i pronounce it like at. hence the tw-at
User avatar #15 to #14 - zakaizer (07/15/2013) [-]
Then she really is a twat... And something that did come to my attention, you called it highschool but use the word 'twat', I don't think I've ever heard an american say twat before. Unless you're English, in which case, I've never heard an Englsihman call upper/secondary school 'highschool'
User avatar #16 to #15 - stardustdragonlord (07/15/2013) [-]
I'm an odd cookie. I use random sayings, I say mate when talking to guys, love when talking to girls, faggot when talking to good friends, and I can pull off saying "Oi cunt!" real well. I dont know, I've got some english in me, and the worst part is? Im from north carolina, Land Of The Rednecks. So go figure.
User avatar #17 to #16 - zakaizer (07/15/2013) [-]
Yeah, 'mate', 'love' and 'oi cunt'... You've definitely got some blood from across the pond, but still some yankee with 'faggot' (We rarely call each other that), still, unless you have the right accent, doesn't work quite as well, does it?... Or does it?
User avatar #37 to #17 - stardustdragonlord (07/15/2013) [-]
Well, I live in the south, and I don't have a southern accent, so to southerners I guess I do have an accent? I dont know.
User avatar #34 to #17 - jokeface ONLINE (07/15/2013) [-]
On the subject of English people and the word "faggot" I have a question for you. I don't know how much American news you get updates on, but I'm sure you're familiar with the Westboro Baptist Church (or Westboro Cult as I call them). Tell me, when they say things like "God hates fags", does it sound like an anti-smoking campaign to you? I imagine if I was English and trying to discourage smoking, that's the most obvious slogan ever.
#36 to #34 - zakaizer (07/15/2013) [-]
When it comes to the WBC saying stuff like that, we know it's being used as an anti-gay slogan, but if it were just those three words, I would imagine most people would think it to be an anti-smoking campaign as well, and when we decided to make people stop smoking as a country, we went a bit drastic, as the pic shows.

And about US news, we only really get the big **** , like President X has been elected, America is going to war with someone, stuff like that
User avatar #10 - brettyoke ONLINE (07/14/2013) [-]
Scream their URL out loud?

DOUBLE YOU DOUBLE YOU DOUBLE YOU DOT TUMBLR DOT COM SLASH MY TAMPON JUST FELL OUT
User avatar #32 to #10 - jokeface ONLINE (07/15/2013) [-]
The word URL has a different meaning on Tumblr. There it just refers to usernames. They could just say usernames but **** it they're Tumblr and Tumblr will do whatever Tumblr wants to do.
User avatar #35 to #32 - brettyoke ONLINE (07/15/2013) [-]
Well then they don't know what a ******* URL is, now do they? **** those hipster annoying ass teenage girls
User avatar #3 - spawnconnery (07/14/2013) [-]
I want to get Adidas tattooed on my dick, so when I pull my foreskin forward it'll be like a hoodie.
User avatar #6 to #3 - blasthardcheese (07/14/2013) [-]
I've never realised I wanted this until now...
#33 - teenytinyspider (07/15/2013) [-]
I tried the water thing too, and the lady just rolled her eyes at me and left.

Also with the burger one:

To me it doesn't matter what the burger looks like. If it tastes good, it's going into my stomach.
User avatar #30 - jokeface ONLINE (07/15/2013) [-]
I wonder if there's some obscure image board or blog site that's littered with funny or witty FJ threads. I mean, we can't be at the bottom of the dick-sucking chain, can we guys?
User avatar #29 - sheenaandjanie (07/15/2013) [-]
So... Anyone now how I could find those sunglasses to buy them? I must have them.
-5
#18 - originalop has deleted their comment [-]
#21 to #18 - anon (07/15/2013) [-]
What she have done to be called a whore? You are making a fool out of yourself.
0
#23 to #21 - originalop has deleted their comment [-]
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#22 to #21 - originalop has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #11 - lurifax (07/14/2013) [-]
Shutter shades
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