This is why you should worship satan. . that guy is a dickhead' whit the devil?" lea" well yes, ' Like - Ccomment . 56 minutes age it likes this, He was 38 minu
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This is why you should worship satan

that guy is a dickhead'
whit the devil?"
well yes, '
Like - Ccomment . 56 minutes age it
likes this,
He was
38 minutes age via Mobile . Like
ire, the devil gave humans critical thinking, whim
Go i n t want. He wanted us m net eat from the tree of
of whateverthehell so we cerld basically be Fer
eternity, but the devil did us a flavor and turned the tables there with
a single t: randomisation,
Also, the devil killed a grand betel of people in the bible, while God
killed somewhere around 2. 3 million,
He understands human nature, but deosn' trudge you Fer being
He accepts Gods unwanted children unr: ,
And still, he' s the dickhead. Why? Beacuse he an take it, Beacuse
he' s net our hero, He' s our silent guardian. a protectron,
A dark knight.
It minutes age . Like
tthing was beautician
5 minutes age . Unlike . , 1
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Submitted: 07/12/2013
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User avatar #8 - raggedy (07/12/2013) [+] (21 replies)
So I'm probably going to get thumbed down for this, but I feel like I have to say something.

The devil did not "give" Adam and Eve the power of free thinking, and they weren't punished just for eating the fruit. Lucifer, chained up in hell suffering eternal torment, wanted Adam and Eve to suffer along with him, and so he came in the shape of a serpent and convinced Eve to disobey direct orders from God and take fruit from the tree of knowledge. We have no way of knowing if mankind was ever going to be granted this gift anyway, or if we would have happily stayed in our garden not knowing true evil and not having the burden of knowledge on our shoulders.

The fact is, Lucifer condemned mankind to torment so he would not suffer alone. Adam and Eve, believe it or not, were told that eating the fruit would have dire consequences.

That's how the story goes, anyway. You don't have to believe in God, but at least now maybe you understand the mythology a little bit better.

Source; schooled for about 3 years in mythology, philosophy, and religion before pursuing a career in psychology.
#1 - iamtheblackgoat (07/12/2013) [+] (10 replies)
Whenever someone posts something like this, I feel compelled to comment how the Judeo-Christian Satan is one of the most under-appreciated mythological/religious characters in human history in terms of how much we can sympathize with him....he did not start out intrinsically evil, he just wanted to have some small respect and power of his own, and for that, he was cast down
#19 - Thebiggeorgy (07/13/2013) [-]
He's not the God we deserve, but he's the God that we need
User avatar #33 - kwanzalord (07/13/2013) [+] (11 replies)
what if...
gods are aliens.
what we know to be 'god' is actually a dictator alien.
He ruled with fierce power. He had many slaves and tried to enslave mankind.

Satan was a nice god, but lacked the power to beat 'god'. He lurked in the shadows, minding his safety and trying to help out where he could.

'god' with his power, won majority of followers/slaves. WInners write history. History aka the bible was written in 'god' 's image. Therefore Satan is depicted as evil, who gave man independence.
User avatar #45 to #33 - captainfuckitall ONLINE (07/13/2013) [-]
You basically just described the beliefs behind Spiritual Satanism
User avatar #22 - pixlexia (07/13/2013) [+] (8 replies)
Not that well educated in the history of modern religions so feel like this is a good place to ask for a simple answer

Is Lucifer, Satan, and Beelzebub the same or different? or does it depend on the religion?
User avatar #23 to #22 - kingoflulzfool (07/13/2013) [-]
essentially they are all "the same" , but today's constant skewed points of view , we have confusion, and total loss of logic
#82 - kompleteciller (07/13/2013) [-]
if i belived in god this would make me a satanist.........
User avatar #66 - kieranbaker (07/13/2013) [+] (5 replies)
He accepts them...then tortures them and jacks off for eternity.
#31 - anonymous (07/13/2013) [+] (1 reply)
This is so not right. The Fruit of Knowledge gave Adam and Eve a sense of right and wrong in terms of morality. They could already think and decide things for themselves. The fruit just gave them a new set of rules to follow rather than the one rule of not eating the fruit. Not to mention that all the people that God killed were killed because of the their lack of adherence to the rules they were granted by the Fruit of Knowledge. If Adam and Eve hadn't eaten the fruit, those rules wouldn't have applied to them and they would have been spared. Also, Satan doesn't "accept God's unwanted children". He's not in charge of Hell. Heck, he doesn't even reside in Hell. When God banished him from Heaven, he was cast down to Earth.
User avatar #47 to #31 - captainfuckitall ONLINE (07/13/2013) [-]
"I can do no wrong, for I do not know what 'wrong' is". If Adam and Eve didn't have any sense of morality, they cannot be punished for doing objectively 'wrong' acts, regardless of whomever declared that they were wrong.

Are you trying to say that god, an all powerful, all knowing, and all loving god, killed people (rather than, I don't know, stopping the activities?) in the dark ages on a regular basis because their ancestors did something they didn't realize was inherently wrong? And you're saying it's everyone else's fault but god's?

That depends on which version of the bible and church you follow, actually
#16 - anonymous (07/13/2013) [+] (5 replies)
Im pretty sure that guy copy and pasted that from somewhere
''Oh, the guy who tortures you for an eternity understands human nature and secretly cares for us''
User avatar #59 to #57 - captainfuckitall ONLINE (07/13/2013) [-]
Which is one of the reasons why Satanism is an organized religion
#53 - doctoryou (07/13/2013) [-]
Knowledge is a burden.
#51 - azraelthemage (07/13/2013) [-]
I'm still waiting FJ.
User avatar #25 - genetticrat (07/13/2013) [-]
Reading that with the Justice League theme music in the background was epic...
#10 - obliviousduck (07/12/2013) [+] (11 replies)
Shouldn't the devil be considered a good guy..? Since, you know, he punishes the bad guys in HIS hell.
I would much rather be a Satanist than a Christian..
User avatar #18 to #17 - thejerseyjenn (07/13/2013) [-]
#110 - anonymous (08/11/2013) [-]
yes but devil does not exist as well as christ , god, allah or budha
enjoy your life
User avatar #50 - AwesomeJT (07/13/2013) [+] (2 replies)
i believe humans are destroying the earth.....that's just how i feel
#20 - akimbobears (07/13/2013) [+] (14 replies)
The snake in Genesis is never called Satan in the Bible. He was just a snake. Satan as the snake is a tradition created by the Christian Church long after Genesis was written. So praise snakes I guess.
#12 - anonymous (07/12/2013) [-]
This is exactly what Satan wants you to think, God wouldn't kill so many people if they didn't **** with him so much,
#5 - anonymous (07/12/2013) [-]
Why, for the glory of Satan, of course!
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