Tale of two cows. repost. A TALE or TWO cows TAKE YOUR PICK II H I FHA RH H In H C SOCIALISM _ You have two cows. You gm: one to your neighbor; wrif r COMMUNISM
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Tale of two cows

A TALE or TWO cows
You have two cows.
You gm: one to your neighbor;
You have two tows.
The State who both and ewes
you some milk,
You have two cows.
The State hikes both and
sells you some mm
You have two curls. I C C
The State takes both, shoots
one. milks the other and then
throws the Hulk away
You have two cows.
You sell one and bur a bull
Your herd and the
economy glows Tau sen them
and mum on the tritone.
You have two tows a
You sen three nothern to your
med company, using letters of Urdu i
opened by your" at the hank.
then execute a Swap with an
associated general offer, so that you get at
our tows back with a an ( Iori for
We tows The nghty or the Sm tows
are ma an intermediary to a
Cayman Wand Company enemy owned
by the majorty s/ , who sells
the rights to m seven tows back to your
company. The annual report says
the company owns ight Cows. wth an
You have two cows.
You sen one and Torte the other
to produce the milk or tour
tows Later, you hue a
to why the tow has
dropped dead.
You have we cows.
You to on a Hot
and block the roads. because
you went twee tows
You have we tows.
but you dont know whom they
ate. You decide to have Cunth
You have 5, 000 cows.
None ofthem baking to you
You charge the owners for
You have we cows.
You have 300 people milking
them You clam that you have "
employment and hgh bows pro-
attest the newsman
who reported the real . -mun.
You have we cows.
You Warship them
You have two cows.
Both my mad
Everyone thinks you have a In Mews.
You ten them that you have none.
Nobody behaves you, so they bomb the crap
out of you and Invade your country
You SIM have no tows but at toast you are now
a Democracy.
You have two cows. l
Busness seems pretty good.
You close the ante and go
or a few beers to celbrate
You have we tows.
The one on the left Icon very attractive
You have two cows borrowed ham
French and German banks.
You em both of them,
The banks call to celled ther nalk, but you
camel deafen- so you can the IMF
The IMF leans you two tows.
You eat both of them
The banks and the IMF call to collect then
You are out gemni a HAII‘( . _
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Favorited: 88
Submitted: 07/10/2013
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#5 - bigbeaufort ONLINE (07/11/2013) [-]
I thought these were British cows?
#23 - SnacksJr ONLINE (07/11/2013) [-]
Moral of the story?

Be Swiss.
#33 to #23 - gertoja (07/11/2013) [-]
Well we can't all be Swiss.
User avatar #40 to #33 - ColorfulPenguin (07/11/2013) [-]
Not with that attitude you can't
#38 to #23 - cloymax (07/11/2013) [-]
Being Swiss is pretty rad.   
We get good pay n' 			****		.
Being Swiss is pretty rad.

We get good pay n' **** .
User avatar #43 to #38 - thelastamerican (07/11/2013) [-]
And the flag is a big plus.
User avatar #19 - onionsam (07/11/2013) [-]
We New Zealanders do not **** cows!!! we much prefer sheep...
#21 - kirbyy (07/11/2013) [-]
New Zealand Fixed*
#41 - deansg (07/11/2013) [-]
You have two cows. You count them again and see that you have four cows. You count them once more and see that you now have eight cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of Vodka
User avatar #50 - yoloswaggins (07/11/2013) [-]
I've always wondered how big the Kiwi community on funnyjunk is...
User avatar #20 - TacoTacoMan ONLINE (07/11/2013) [-]
In Soviet Russia you have two cows, and they milk you
#17 - tieze (07/11/2013) [-]
Venture Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell three of them ...
#13 - pocketbird (07/11/2013) [-]
"you decide to have lunch"
#4 - captainreposty (07/11/2013) [-]
Sorry to burst the propaganda bubble, but Communism involves no state.
No state = no state to "take" your cows.

This is what Communism means, literally. I'm not putting my opinion on the matter up for viewing, but merely cleansing the window that this post soiled.
#6 to #4 - Kennyalways (07/11/2013) [-]
Tell that to Stalin
Tell that to Stalin
#7 to #6 - captainreposty (07/11/2013) [-]
Stalin took, and maintained, Russia in the "Dictatorship of the Proletariat".
Russia never achieved true Communism, nor Socialism for that fact, due to the affronted fact.
But this is going purely of political philosophy, not Fox News.
#8 to #7 - Kennyalways (07/11/2013) [-]
Stalin morphed communism into what it is today, what your referring to is now considered Marxism, at least from what i was taught.
Stalin morphed communism into what it is today, what your referring to is now considered Marxism, at least from what i was taught.
#9 to #8 - captainreposty (07/11/2013) [-]
You can't morph a philosophy and still masquerade it as what it has become.

Marx and Engels, following in the Hegelian tradition, brought history into their philosophy, believing that the world was going to go through stages, the "dialects".
Russia NEVER achieved the Socialist stage as it was wrenched down by the ego of Stalin. But in all honesty the Revolution and the hopes of Communism were marred when the Bolsheviks limited dissent among the revolutionaries.

You mean by "Stalin morphed communism into what it is today"; "We have been taught that anything other than Capitalism is grim, look at how badly Communist leaders treat their citizens, look how poor Communist countries are".
Stalin certainly tarnished the name of Communism, but he could, literally, NEVER morph its philosophical contents.
User avatar #10 to #9 - Kennyalways (07/11/2013) [-]
no the philosophical part remained the same, but the political part is a different story. The political rule i was taught was Marxism if followed through, but is known as Communism if run asit has throughout history
#28 to #10 - captainreposty (07/11/2013) [-]
Who was teaching you these things? Did you pay them?
If you really want me to, I could give you a fairly detailed explanation of Marxism, or if you don't fancy listening to me, I could provide a few short videos explaining Marxism/Communism & their differences.
Not knowing something is hardly a reason for me to have a go at you, and I apologize. And I believe education is more nurturing than condemnation.
But I don't think you've quite got a grasp on the differences.

(Where you from?)
#65 to #9 - jewishcommienazi **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#29 to #9 - valeriya (07/11/2013) [-]
Stalin didn't tarnish the name of communism, capitalists tarnished Stalin and then people started putting two and two together.
#30 to #29 - captainreposty (07/11/2013) [-]
Look man, as you can clearly see, I abhor Capitalism.
But as a history/political scholar I must intervene.
Stalin did some terrible, terrible ****** up paranoid **** .
He was never meant to succeed Lenin, but still managed to.
He was a manipulative piece of **** who never had Communism at heart.
#31 to #30 - valeriya (07/11/2013) [-]
Well, let's take a look at what Stalin did for the Russian people;
1. He pretty much brought Russia from being a backwards peasant nation to a superpower whilst spreading the socialist revolution which he'd earlier said would have to wait (See socialism in one country).
1.1: Industrailized Russia and made it on a par with most western nations in terms of Industrial capacity.
1.2: Socially liberated a lot of people, Eg Abortion was legalized, then illegalized then in the end they just taxed you for not having children.
2. Kept socialism going, despite the constant threat of invasion from the capitalists, although his successor was a traitor who really should've been purged, you've got to remember Stalin never touched the Marxist-Leninist he just occasionally purged from other factions.
3. Lead Russia through World war 2, arguably he ****** up at first but still Russia won.
4. Complemantary Stalin did nothing wrong, and one thing you have to realize about socialism and the whole holodomor "genocide" is that Ukrainian nationalists went and burned crops and slaughtered live stock, so they effectively contributed nothing so naturally they received nothing.
User avatar #47 to #31 - thelastamerican (07/11/2013) [-]
Had more people killed off than Hitler...
#34 to #31 - captainreposty (07/11/2013) [-]
I've studied Russian history, fairly extensively over the last 5/6 years, and I know all the mentioned facts you have highlighted, and I am not really arguing against any of them, except 1.2.
But what you're identifying here is the "Dictatorship of the Proletariat", a necessary step that preludes the Socialist step. Stalin did indeed modernize the USSR, and in a remarkable time as well.
But obviously you know about the borrowing of US Tractors (Caterpillars), etc. that aided them in such progress, which would be the antithesis of Communism.
I hope this has cleared things up? I can go into more detail, but it seems you already know the history, but you've just misplaced the philosophical piece to this jig-saw; a piece which could be presented as either without the proper knowledge behind it.
User avatar #37 to #34 - valeriya (07/11/2013) [-]
I just see in the west a lot of historical revisionism around stalin.
#59 to #37 - captainreposty (07/11/2013) [-]
That's why one must appease all the pallets in ones literary banquet.

I have quite a few friends who have moved to Russia for a few years now, and they send me (translated) news from over there.
User avatar #60 to #59 - valeriya (07/11/2013) [-]
I live in the UK most the year but for the rest of it I live in Russia, before that I lived in Ukraine, and yes it's quite normal for people to cater to their audiences.
#27 to #4 - iluvharrypotter (07/11/2013) [-]
It's impossible and revisionary non-sense to believe communism works with no state, you are essentially saying that people are inheritably good and will work together without an collective organize force to actually achieve anything and keep people in check.

There needs to be a strong authoritarian government for communism to be achieved in a nation, many issues which faced the early Soviets with famines were farmers not willing to work together with the government with giving up their crops, and when you have a nation working together and the producers of your food are failing to do so it causesa wide variety of issues.
Stalin's authoritarian actions were necessary for the survival of his nation, how he reacted to the organize farming and his purges were dumb though, but he was a realist. Unlike your retarded bastardized theory which is derived from closed minded simpletons crafted in your head in a war against American Conservatives.

North Korea, Cuba, Soviet Union are all prime examples of Communism will ever get achieved besides in small communes. I believe the Western media has portrayed their examples bad though, as they focused on famines not how they improved their own quality of life, became industrial, and imrpoved literacy and education rates in all examples, I think Cuba is the best prime example right now
#58 to #27 - captainreposty (07/11/2013) [-]
I never mentioned, in the original post, any state/country that claimed to be Communist.
What you just described was the "Dictatorship of the Proletariat", which was a necessary step on the way to Socialism, which was just one step behind Communism.

Marx's definition, ergo THE definition, of Communism was based on these dialectics.
I agree with everything you've said, & I think Cuba will be the next place I visit (after Japan), but on the actual details and not deeds, Communism cannot work with a state.
The people of a certain country would all realise the actions needed to maintain their society and would do so willingly, but only after modernistation (a process which must, in Marx's writings, begin in the Capitalist dialect)
#80 to #27 - jewishcommienazi **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#78 to #27 - jewishcommienazi **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#79 to #78 - jewishcommienazi **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#42 to #4 - angelusprimus ONLINE (07/11/2013) [-]
Philosophy major, right?
As a philosophical idea communism works with no state.
As a practical option communism is possible as a fully distributed post need society model. Which means you need collectors, organizers and distributors, which however you call them function as a government bodies.
#69 to #42 - anon (07/11/2013) [-]
But all those things are performed by each person itself, so each individual would be a government.
#14 - selfdenyingbeggar (07/11/2013) [-]
That's not Communism.
#26 - majortomcomics (07/11/2013) [-]
Moral of the story: Socialism doesn't work, Capitalism is fair.
Picture related. It's socialism. Prepared for backfire from butthurt liberals.
#3 - anon (07/11/2013) [-]
The capitalist system is broken. The few rich people running the country with the interest of the rich in mind. Then there is the fact that the banks can basically control the world at this point. Socialism all the way
User avatar #11 to #3 - fargone (07/11/2013) [-]
Socialism wouldn't work for the exact same reason that capitalism doesn't work very well. Greed. If anyone is ever able to overcome greed in every member of their entire population, it'll be a hell of a lot more impressive than their system of government.
User avatar #15 to #11 - adu ONLINE (07/11/2013) [-]
Actually, traditional capitalism works because no transaction is made between two individuals without consent from both sides, which means that both parties have something to gain. What you're thinking of is either Venture Capitalism, American Corporation, or Bureaucratism.
User avatar #18 to #3 - Ruspanic (07/11/2013) [-]
Crony capitalism is a problem. The rich should not have so much influence in politics.

"Traditional capitalism" as seen in the content is the best system in existence, because it maximizes freedom, efficiency, and overall wealth.
#25 to #18 - tomthehippie (07/11/2013) [-]
"traditional Capitalism" is free market capitalism, which is what has allowed corporations to grow to the point where they practically own governments.

Try knowing what you are talking about.
User avatar #70 to #25 - Ruspanic (07/11/2013) [-]
There's nothing wrong with having large corporations that make a lot of profit. It's the "practically owning governments" part that's wrong, and that's what I mean by crony capitalism. They hire lobbyists and fund political ads and campaigns through PACs and more recently SuperPACs. Sometimes the lobbyists actually write the bills that are presented to Congress, because Congressmen themselves don't have time to do that sort of thing.

The government is the one institution that should be completely socialist, i.e. owned and controlled by the public and not by private interests.

Don't be an asshole.
User avatar #22 to #3 - tkfourtwoone ONLINE (07/11/2013) [-]
If banks "control the world", how come they're in so much deep **** they need to be helped by the states?!
#32 - anon (07/11/2013) [-]

#35 to #32 - TheHutchie (07/11/2013) [-]
#36 - anon (07/11/2013) [-]
communism and socialism are swapped, in communism there's no state
#61 to #36 - jewishcommienazi **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#52 to #36 - monkee (07/11/2013) [-]
That's why Russia was called a communist state.
That's why Russia was called a communist state.
#64 to #52 - anon (07/11/2013) [-]
The term "communist state" was used by americans, the socialist countries never called themselves that. And let's admit it, americans aren't exactly famous for being very smart.
#62 to #52 - jewishcommienazi **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #12 - mrsecret ONLINE (07/11/2013) [-]
I hate stuff like this. You can't generalize complicated economical systems into half a paragraph. Idiots on the internet will read this and start to think their experts in economics.
User avatar #45 to #12 - thelastamerican (07/11/2013) [-]
Idiots on the internet already think they're experts in economics.
User avatar #55 - catdownstairz (07/11/2013) [-]
Australia seems pretty spot on
User avatar #54 - strangemoo (07/11/2013) [-]
Venture Capitalism broke my damn brain.
User avatar #49 - poopee (07/11/2013) [-]
we have sheep as our thing, not cows.
#48 - anon (07/11/2013) [-]
In socialism they both have cows but now they can't reproduce since they both only have 1 and the economy stagnates. later one cow dies and split the other cow in half. Hooray for progress
User avatar #51 to #48 - monkee (07/11/2013) [-]
Socialism is all about working together for a mutually beneficial agreement you dillweed. It just doesn't rely heavily on money and risky investments, whilst allowing the majority to stay equal.
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