Tale of two cows. repost. A TALE or TWO cows TAKE YOUR PICK II H I FHA RH H In H C SOCIALISM _ You have two cows. You gm: one to your neighbor; wrif r COMMUNISM
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Tale of two cows

repost

A TALE or TWO cows
TAKE YOUR PICK
II H I FHA RH H In H
C SOCIALISM _
You have two cows.
You gm: one to your neighbor;
wrif r COMMUNISM
You have two tows.
The State who both and ewes
you some milk,
FASCISM
You have two cows.
The State hikes both and
sells you some mm
rvr
You have two curls. I C C
The State takes both, shoots
one. milks the other and then
throws the Hulk away
You have two cows.
You sell one and bur a bull
Your herd and the
economy glows Tau sen them
and mum on the tritone.
You have two tows a
You sen three nothern to your
med company, using letters of Urdu i
opened by your" at the hank.
then execute a Swap with an
associated general offer, so that you get at
our tows back with a an ( Iori for
We tows The nghty or the Sm tows
are ma an intermediary to a
Cayman Wand Company enemy owned
by the majorty s/ , who sells
the rights to m seven tows back to your
company. The annual report says
the company owns ight Cows. wth an
You have two cows.
You sen one and Torte the other
to produce the milk or tour
tows Later, you hue a
to why the tow has
dropped dead.
You have we cows.
You to on a Hot
and block the roads. because
you went twee tows
C AN IT LIAN CORPORATION
You have we tows.
but you dont know whom they
ate. You decide to have Cunth
You have 5, 000 cows.
None ofthem baking to you
You charge the owners for
them
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have we cows.
You have 300 people milking
them You clam that you have "
employment and hgh bows pro-
attest the newsman
who reported the real . -mun.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION H
You have we cows.
You Warship them
A BRITISH CORPORATION V
You have two cows.
Both my mad
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have a In Mews.
You ten them that you have none.
Nobody behaves you, so they bomb the crap
out of you and Invade your country
You SIM have no tows but at toast you are now
a Democracy.
N AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. l
Busness seems pretty good.
You close the ante and go
or a few beers to celbrate
v; A NEW ZEA AND CORPORATION
You have we tows.
The one on the left Icon very attractive
A GREEK CORPORATION CV
You have two cows borrowed ham
French and German banks.
You em both of them,
The banks call to celled ther nalk, but you
camel deafen- so you can the IMF
The IMF leans you two tows.
You eat both of them
The banks and the IMF call to collect then
ows/
You are out gemni a HAII‘( . _
visual.
SOURCE
...
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Views: 21034
Favorited: 88
Submitted: 07/10/2013
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Comments(81):

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#5 - bigbeaufort (07/11/2013) [-]
I thought these were British cows?
#23 - SnacksJr (07/11/2013) [+] (5 replies)
Moral of the story?



Be Swiss.
#19 - onionsam (07/11/2013) [-]
We New Zealanders do not **** cows!!! we much prefer sheep...
#21 - kirbyy (07/11/2013) [-]
New Zealand Fixed*
#16 - adu (07/11/2013) [+] (17 replies)
The socialism one is rather misleading. You don't give anything, you have it taken from you, at least in any socialistic society with a governing body. Whether the state has this right to redistribute cows as they see fit is up for debate, but socialism never operates on a large scale without militant force. A system where people redistribute according to needs voluntarily is called a commune, although these tend to only work on a small scale.   
   
As for Marxism and Communism, those are quite different from Socialism (although conservatives would have you believe otherwise) but they operate in a similar manner of government distribution. Only it's not limited to income, but includes possessions, property, labor, and in extreme cases even children (deciding who raises, who can and can't have children, how many children a person can have, etc.)
The socialism one is rather misleading. You don't give anything, you have it taken from you, at least in any socialistic society with a governing body. Whether the state has this right to redistribute cows as they see fit is up for debate, but socialism never operates on a large scale without militant force. A system where people redistribute according to needs voluntarily is called a commune, although these tend to only work on a small scale.

As for Marxism and Communism, those are quite different from Socialism (although conservatives would have you believe otherwise) but they operate in a similar manner of government distribution. Only it's not limited to income, but includes possessions, property, labor, and in extreme cases even children (deciding who raises, who can and can't have children, how many children a person can have, etc.)
#24 to #16 - tomthehippie (07/11/2013) [-]
Wrong.

Socialism is ANY form of government where public funds (gathered through taxes) are used for public works/common good.

ei; public schools are socialist, public fire departments are socialist, public roads are socialist, public libraries are socialist, tax payer funded health care (like almost every other first world nation enjoys) is socialist, social security is socialist, ect, ect, ect...
#4 - captainreposty (07/11/2013) [+] (22 replies)
Sorry to burst the propaganda bubble, but Communism involves no state.
No state = no state to "take" your cows.

This is what Communism means, literally. I'm not putting my opinion on the matter up for viewing, but merely cleansing the window that this post soiled.
#27 to #4 - iluvharrypotter (07/11/2013) [-]
It's impossible and revisionary non-sense to believe communism works with no state, you are essentially saying that people are inheritably good and will work together without an collective organize force to actually achieve anything and keep people in check.

There needs to be a strong authoritarian government for communism to be achieved in a nation, many issues which faced the early Soviets with famines were farmers not willing to work together with the government with giving up their crops, and when you have a nation working together and the producers of your food are failing to do so it causesa wide variety of issues.
Stalin's authoritarian actions were necessary for the survival of his nation, how he reacted to the organize farming and his purges were dumb though, but he was a realist. Unlike your retarded bastardized theory which is derived from closed minded simpletons crafted in your head in a war against American Conservatives.

North Korea, Cuba, Soviet Union are all prime examples of Communism will ever get achieved besides in small communes. I believe the Western media has portrayed their examples bad though, as they focused on famines not how they improved their own quality of life, became industrial, and imrpoved literacy and education rates in all examples, I think Cuba is the best prime example right now
#41 - deansg (07/11/2013) [-]
Russia:
You have two cows. You count them again and see that you have four cows. You count them once more and see that you now have eight cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of Vodka
#32 - xxxsonic fanxxx (07/11/2013) [+] (1 reply)
DUTCH CONTENT ON FUNNYJUNK



SMELL WITH PRIDE
#35 to #32 - TheHutchie (07/11/2013) [-]
"SMELL WITH PRIDE"
User avatar #50 - yoloswaggins (07/11/2013) [-]
I've always wondered how big the Kiwi community on funnyjunk is...
#36 - xxxsonic fanxxx (07/11/2013) [+] (4 replies)
communism and socialism are swapped, in communism there's no state
#64 to #52 - xxxsonic fanxxx (07/11/2013) [-]
The term "communist state" was used by americans, the socialist countries never called themselves that. And let's admit it, americans aren't exactly famous for being very smart.
User avatar #20 - TacoTacoMan (07/11/2013) [-]
In Soviet Russia you have two cows, and they milk you
#17 - tieze (07/11/2013) [-]
Venture Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell three of them ...
#14 - selfdenyingbeggar (07/11/2013) [-]
That's not Communism.
#13 - pocketbird (07/11/2013) [-]
"you decide to have lunch"
#3 - xxxsonic fanxxx (07/11/2013) [+] (6 replies)
The capitalist system is broken. The few rich people running the country with the interest of the rich in mind. Then there is the fact that the banks can basically control the world at this point. Socialism all the way
User avatar #15 to #11 - adu (07/11/2013) [-]
Actually, traditional capitalism works because no transaction is made between two individuals without consent from both sides, which means that both parties have something to gain. What you're thinking of is either Venture Capitalism, American Corporation, or Bureaucratism.
User avatar #54 - strangemoo (07/11/2013) [-]
Venture Capitalism broke my damn brain.
User avatar #49 - poopee (07/11/2013) [-]
we have sheep as our thing, not cows.
#48 - xxxsonic fanxxx (07/11/2013) [+] (1 reply)
In socialism they both have cows but now they can't reproduce since they both only have 1 and the economy stagnates. later one cow dies and split the other cow in half. Hooray for progress
#46 - xxxsonic fanxxx (07/11/2013) [-]
CROATIA
You have 2 cows. You are working with a Slovenian and you give him 1 cow by contract for free. He steals your electricity and feeds his cattle on your land, and his bank claims that your (stolen) money is matter of success, in which the given cow is included.
You say you won't give him your cow and he harasses you.
Meanwhile, while you are arguing with Slovenian, your other neighbours (Bosnia, Serbia, Montenegro...) see that you are busy and they milk your cow, which dies at the end. Meanwhile, while they were milking your cow, their cows died due to not feeding.
Like every good Croatian, you are happy because your neighbours' 2 cows died, and only 1 of your 2 died.
German leaves you his cow to take care of it and milk it and he gets all the milk. He lets you join EU one day.
You are in debt for 200 years.
#26 - majortomcomics (07/11/2013) [-]
Moral of the story: Socialism doesn't work, Capitalism is fair.
Picture related. It's socialism. Prepared for backfire from butthurt liberals.
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