England. . so you re wailing ENGLAND A ( for he aln@ phile Let' s Flat we Dames l: ' rhea by It " Hewe eta Wt ghee e stilt about eal: lear' l' t itsall. WEE? HA
x
Click to expand

England

so you re wailing
ENGLAND
A ( for he aln@ phile
Let' s Flat we Dames l: ' rhea by It " Hewe eta Wt ghee e stilt about
eal: lear' l' t itsall.
WEE? HAHH. WE Foul B MILES.
HES BE HEM HEHE.
ll you Ferne to England to get by en a bunch of stereotypes. outdated
slang. and a bordeline unhealthy obsession with Doctor Who. you are gluing to
get la. igneel at. your beck. of Cgl. ll' SE:. We are very Laking pelite after all
So drop the Fate: teeknee accent (franky. were embarassed for you) are
prepare to take your goddamn tea
Alg% lal"
Shut up Just shut the **** up goddamn. Do net call anyone "late". Don' t
******* gel in a pub and ask for a belly: Don' t men think about trying to pass
**** BBC accent as real when we talk ta strangers. And never, under
any circumstances, even think sheet saying "pip pi l
That' s net to say dent talk ta us at all of meme. We' re pretty kindly an the
whole, when we' re net commuting at at any kind of sporting event. Es just that,
as a manta, we unanimously agree that we weed like a pretentious dickhead
when we try ta pretend ta be anything other than the tomtit we are.
Sill] -Nill: HAVE [IN \
Do net yell "Allonsey" at strangers. Do net ask someone we just met if they
cried at Reichenbach. And really, really do net m raking through Colin
Morgan' s bins because that' s ******* creepy. By all means. grit visit St. Bards at
meet up with rent be buddies or whatever, but leave innocent strangers net of it
and due’: ******* disturb .
my three: its
This is for, yarn‘ awn sux rawr their ears. Willie in Illa. -rill will
titre g, tawdrily Ilia latter‘. Ir} -'tall emit
side all the jim/ . lilttle In he with tr will all 1: And
if the any merrier‘ -yea hasve ta ear patriots pollitical tutti social issues is ‘lint
ycss' where we and Merlin mares fixed" youre gaing re seem] like er. Intime-
STEP mun: went not STUPID
ike, for real? the think we dank know what ankles are? We' all been raised
an a steady diet iv shows, news, fbid, music, politics, and culture,
wheres your only exposure ta Britain is apparently whatever bland Tumble
tandem **** we’ skimmed from the tap of the Mcs drama barrel. Believe it
er not we use wards like "film" and "" interchangable, and we know that
when yell talk about wet pants we don' t mean wet ******* underwear.
Unless we do, in which cm we should probably shut the **** up.
The only time you will see this is at football games and an
****** , overpriced [aerial merchandise
AND DON' T BUY THAT. YOU MASSIVE
TOOL.
Ir) rax
You are now ready to not make a huge tit
of yourself in England.
WE HEIOFE.
...
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Views: 45485
Favorited: 174
Submitted: 07/09/2013
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Comments(408):

[ 408 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #46 - ruebezahl (07/10/2013) [-]
Brits think they got it bad? I think it's nothing compared to anime&manga fans going to Japan and making complete fools of themselves.
#121 to #46 - anon (07/10/2013) [-]
it fun to watch
User avatar #132 to #46 - spankyy (07/10/2013) [-]
I want to visit Japan because of how beautiful it looks in anime but I feel i'll be disappointed :S

I suppose I am a minority though? I have been actually looking into their culture and how to act in public so I don't make an ass of myself. I have to say it's gonna be hard. Seems things that make you stick out in public are kind of a no-no in Japan. Where as in America, making an ass of yourself is a natural pastime. Also, the no tipping thing will really feel unusual. I feel wrong if I don't leave a tip for a waiter/waitress here. Over there it's considered rude apparently :S
User avatar #159 to #132 - ruebezahl (07/10/2013) [-]
It depends which anime you watch. I have been in areas of Japan where I felt that they looked exactly like something out of a Miyazaki movie. The nature in Japan IS extremely beautiful. And the "traditional" areas (e.g. the temples) look quite exactly like what most people would imagine. On the other hand, some anime doesn't look like Japan at all. And for example for "Howl's Moving Castle", Miyazaki copied the cityscape of Colmar in France.

From a cultural point of view, it can be quite difficult. Japan is a very ritualistic country with a lot of (unwritten) rules. And as there are not a lot of foreigners in Japan, many things that are normal to foreigners might seem exceedingly strange to Japanese. On the other hand, I have found the average Japanese to be immensely forgiving of foreigners' mistakes. I have been told for example that Japanese don't really expect foreigners to be experts with chopsticks (though you still shouldn't expect to get a fork or a spoon in a restaurant in Japan, unless it's for soup or curry).

Just don't expect anyone to speak English. Yes, most younger Japanese do speak English, but they feel it is less rude to pretend that they don't speak English than to try and fail at helping you. To most westerners, it would be the other way around. Japanese are inherently helpful (an old security guard once left his post in front of a department store for me to show me the way to the Sony Tower in Osaka, probably risking his job), but they prefer not helping at all over doing a half-assed job.

And yes, don't try to tip. It would be very insulting. People in Japan are generally proud of their jobs, even if it is a menial, stupid or pointless job. Tipping seems to invalidate this pride.

TL;DR: Go to Japan. You will not regret it. I still consider it a real adventure. And I would recommend Kyoto, as it is a very traditional city.
User avatar #161 to #159 - spankyy (07/10/2013) [-]
I was thinking Kyoto or the ever popular Tokyo.

Yeah I have been trying to learn Japanese so I don't need to rely on English when i'm over there. Also been practicing with chopsticks. I'm alright with them, but my ring/pinkie get really tired trying to maintain the stability of the bottom chopstick. I workout like 3-5 times a week (depending on how busy I am) and yet I can't hold a chopstick while I eat without taking a break every now and then.
User avatar #163 to #161 - ruebezahl (07/10/2013) [-]
I know how that is. My wife's japanese, so aside from annual trips to Japan, we do eat Japanese food fairly often. I should be used to the chopsticks by now, but from time to time, my hands still cramp up.

Try both Tokyo and Kyoto then. They are fairly different from each other. And it will give you a chance to take the Shinkansen from Tokyo to Kyoto. Take that train in the morning and ask for a "yamagawa" (mountain side) seat, i.e. a seat with a view of Mount Fuji. If you are lucky and the weather is right, then on the way, you will also see many small valleys where the morning mist is still hanging between the forested slopes. Quite breathtaking.

Oh, and if you learned some Japanese, then you already know the most important magic word: "Sumimasen". Like I said, Japanese might be a bit reluctant to help foreigners, but once you got their attention with a friendly "sumimasen", they are forced to help you out of sheer politeness.
User avatar #283 to #163 - spankyy (07/10/2013) [-]
I know I learned that word but can't quite remember what it means? (I've been using random videos concerning Japanese culture & Rosetta stone to learn Japanese, that word was mentioned in one of the videos regarding japanese culture).
#362 to #283 - anon (07/10/2013) [-]
it's like saying 'sorry to bother you' or 'pardon me', that kind of thing, it's just to get a persons attention before you ask for something
User avatar #390 to #362 - spankyy (07/10/2013) [-]
ahh ok, thank you.
#203 to #46 - anon (07/10/2013) [-]
They don't even need to go to Japan to do that. They make fools of themselves, pretty much wherever they go
#5 - lstimpact (07/09/2013) [-]
Got it in one!
User avatar #192 - thinkwithportals (07/10/2013) [-]
Tip for anyone English (or from anywhere in the UK for that matter) when visiting the US:

Come to the United States
Speak
Drown in pussy
User avatar #242 to #192 - toguro (07/10/2013) [-]
Going to Florida in a few weeks, should be fun
User avatar #375 to #242 - thinkwithportals (07/10/2013) [-]
Don't listen to him, I like Florida
#386 to #375 - gentlemanotaku (07/10/2013) [-]
its not bad, but the higher countries are better than the southern ones   
   
the architectures better up north,  and whenever im down there i always feel like everyones a racist   
   
but then i stay in the hispanic parts of florida and its all better again
its not bad, but the higher countries are better than the southern ones

the architectures better up north, and whenever im down there i always feel like everyones a racist

but then i stay in the hispanic parts of florida and its all better again
User avatar #387 to #386 - thinkwithportals (07/10/2013) [-]
The thing about florida is the more north you get, the more south you get. But yeah I know what you mean
#388 to #387 - gentlemanotaku (07/10/2013) [-]
did i say countries, i meant states, my brains being an idiot   
   
   
   
its all personal preference , ive lived in RI for the most part of my life
did i say countries, i meant states, my brains being an idiot



its all personal preference , ive lived in RI for the most part of my life
User avatar #332 to #242 - gentlemanotaku (07/10/2013) [-]
nope. i recommend countries higher up the east coast, like rhode island, not as packed, and alot more beautiful
User avatar #384 to #332 - toguro (07/10/2013) [-]
Okay so I'm going to cancel a £4,000 holiday on your word, I don't think so.
#356 to #192 - anon (07/10/2013) [-]
That's because God played a practical joke when designing the American Woman. We are undeniably and uncontrollably attracted to accents. A European accent just makes the guy ten times hotter. And if he knows a little bit about history and can start talking about the old kings from his country and **** , it has about the same effect on a woman as fingering her. :|
User avatar #278 to #192 - milthyfoustache (07/10/2013) [-]
I'm joining the Royal Navy:
>Go to US
>English accent
>Man in uniform
>Not fat or fugly
>I must sex now
User avatar #218 to #192 - gibroner (07/10/2013) [-]
it's true American women lose their **** over even the ugliest English accent
#206 to #192 - zomitlu ONLINE (07/10/2013) [-]
**** yes, going to america next easter.
User avatar #215 to #206 - thinkwithportals (07/10/2013) [-]
As long as you're not super fugly its like dating on easy mode
User avatar #243 to #215 - zomitlu ONLINE (07/10/2013) [-]
I suppose I stand a chance. As long as my asshole brother doesn't **** **** up for me.
User avatar #19 - mymiddleleg (07/10/2013) [-]
Step 6: Do not under any circumstances call anybody from Wales, Scotland or Ireland English
#21 to #19 - anon (07/10/2013) [-]
and if you do then you are stupid enough to deserve a beating
User avatar #349 to #21 - vicsix (07/10/2013) [-]
No offense, but they all have somewhat similar, and easily hard to place accents, so I'm sure a few tourist would end up calling them Irish or Scottish. Not Walish (Is that the term) because most Americans have never heard that dialect or accent.
#200 - thegamegestapo (07/10/2013) [-]
When visiting Scotland

1. Upon arrival you will be granted the title of either "Big Man" or "Wee Man". Do not dispute this. God has been wrong more times than your average Weegie about this classification.
2. The deep fried mars bars are novelty items only.
3. When entering a bakery you will be given two options. Steak pie or Scotch Pie. You do not have the immune system to handle a Scotch pie
4. If you refer to us as English, call whisky "Scotch" or respond in any way to the phrase "Whit you lookin' at?" We reserve the right to flay you alive.
5. We don't care about your Scottish roots except to sell you overpriced tartan.
6. If you ask for your whisky to be mixed with coke then we get the machete out.
0
#252 to #200 - infernis has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #328 to #252 - thegamegestapo (07/10/2013) [-]
Among other things. Remember the horsemeat scandal? We were glad that it was real meat.
#258 to #200 - budva (07/10/2013) [-]
hae ya doon wee man, gie us 50p or ill stab yas
User avatar #329 to #200 - wardylocks (07/10/2013) [-]
I wish I knew this before I got a Scottish boyfriend, but for now I'm laughing because its so ******* true.
#222 to #200 - anon (07/10/2013) [-]
WHO THE **** ASKS FOR WHISKY AND COKE? JESUS ******* CHRIST **** YOUR COKE. COKE IS ONLY A MIXER FOR DANIELS AND VODKA.
User avatar #229 to #200 - flutterdashrainbow (07/10/2013) [-]
7. Do not, under any circumstances accept a "Glasgow/Glesge kiss"
#378 to #229 - fannypack (07/10/2013) [-]
What.... what is that
User avatar #382 to #378 - flutterdashrainbow (07/10/2013) [-]
If someone says that they're going to give you one...it basically means that they're going to headbutt or in another Scot-friendly phrase "crack" you.
but no we're nice people.
#56 - felixjarl ONLINE (07/10/2013) [-]
#25 - Wazzy (07/10/2013) [-]
Just you try and stop me
Just you try and stop me
#202 to #25 - anon (07/10/2013) [-]
they were irish jews not english
#119 - anon (07/10/2013) [-]
if someone offers you tea, you politely decline, they will then reoffer it to you, and the process repeats until the queen decides
User avatar #181 - rza (07/10/2013) [-]
Tips for NYC:
Get the **** out.
User avatar #184 to #181 - AreyouSerious (07/10/2013) [-]
Just don't go to Harlem...Or Bed-Sty...or the Bronx
User avatar #172 - cwarrider (07/10/2013) [-]
As an American, it pisses me off when people HERE try to be English. Seems particularly common among drama nerds. I just roll my eyes at the fake accents and mannerisms. I had a friend once who was this way with both England AND Japan, and would incessantly act like she was from one or the other. Finally one day I had enough, told her to grow up, and stopped talking to her for good. **** REALLY pisses me off, lol. Same goes for people coming to America. Just because you put on boots and a hat does NOT make you a ******* cowboy, and not all of us from the south sound like dyslexic, inbred *********** with a hard-on for bombing middle eastern countries lol
User avatar #376 to #172 - bitchitroll ONLINE (07/10/2013) [-]
i sometimes speak with a british accent on accident
my fiance is british so the way she talks is starting to rub off on me
and from what people tell me when they try to insult me im a "redneck" so its a mix of a southern and british accent
User avatar #187 to #172 - AreyouSerious (07/10/2013) [-]
I HATE when American people act British. They see David Tennant and Gerard Butler and think all British men are like that. They would hand America back to England if they could because they blindly think they're a better people. Same goes for weaboos.
User avatar #193 to #187 - slendermanspenis (07/10/2013) [-]
But watching an American do a British accent is pretty funny.
User avatar #195 to #193 - cwarrider (07/10/2013) [-]
To me its actually more interesting to see a british person attempt an American accent lol. There's a fine line between humor and rudeness, though. Time and place for everything, I guess
User avatar #197 to #195 - slendermanspenis (07/10/2013) [-]
Yeah I know but everyone's got something inside them to mock another person's accent.
User avatar #189 to #187 - cwarrider (07/10/2013) [-]
People are people. Every culture has its ups and downs, but I'm just plain old proud to be an American. Not because of what my government has done or the idiots who claim to represent me, but because this is my home and I wouldn't have picked another. But everyone's different.
User avatar #190 to #189 - AreyouSerious (07/10/2013) [-]
I agree
#100 - saintkarlos (07/10/2013) [-]
mfw im welsh... Englands just butt hurt because we have dragons
#157 to #100 - anon (07/10/2013) [-]
except you don't have dragons
#412 to #100 - anon (07/23/2013) [-]
Don't forget we annexed you. You weren't even part of the UK really, as it was the union of the kingdom of England and the kingdom of Scotland. No kindom of wales, because england absolutely dominated it a few hundred years before that.
User avatar #413 to #412 - saintkarlos (07/23/2013) [-]
YOU DID IT? how could you man, i thought we were friends?
#151 to #100 - darknemisis (07/10/2013) [-]
Don't forget the Welsh Cakes!
User avatar #210 to #151 - mymiddleleg (07/10/2013) [-]
Welsh Cakes are the best
User avatar #116 to #100 - dzubelyudee (07/10/2013) [-]
And much better-looking sheep.
#177 to #116 - umppis (07/10/2013) [-]
wouldnt that make the sheep butthurt and not the english?
User avatar #272 - thephantur (07/10/2013) [-]
This is why I'll never visit...

My inner asshole racist will want to just go "pip pip talli ho ol chap!" and I'll up end tarred and feathered.
User avatar #315 to #272 - picamix (07/10/2013) [-]
chavs will probably be the one to do stuff, others just look angrily and shout mean words
#180 - yusay (07/10/2013) [-]
Honestly, halfway through the comp I just decided to read it in Yahtzee's voice.

User avatar #185 to #180 - yusay (07/10/2013) [-]
*post
User avatar #49 - thebestpieever (07/10/2013) [-]
Also, for the love of crap, please walk on the left.
+4
#285 - shampu **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#269 - Willmooo (07/10/2013) [-]
As a denizen of Britain, to anyone who wants to come here, do so and do whatever the **** you want; wear a monocle, drink tea, ask people if they know the queen, obsess about fandoms. Nobody in Britain gives a **** what tourists do, apart from this guy apparently. We're actually a pretty tolerant laid back bunch on the whole
#277 to #269 - tonight (07/10/2013) [-]
^ What this guy said. Better to be yourself if you're naturally a bit of a cunt rather than fake not being.
^ What this guy said. Better to be yourself if you're naturally a bit of a cunt rather than fake not being.
#51 - kingbulbasaur (07/10/2013) [-]
Pretty sure this isn't the OP, but you guys sure have some nice 			*******		 architecture. That's the main reason I'd like to visit England.
Pretty sure this isn't the OP, but you guys sure have some nice ******* architecture. That's the main reason I'd like to visit England.
User avatar #71 to #51 - viscerys (07/10/2013) [-]
The centres of old cities tend to be nicest.
#62 to #51 - vladmir (07/10/2013) [-]
That all depends on where you go...
#226 to #62 - pharoahemonch (07/10/2013) [-]
I see your slum and raise you central Oxford
#369 to #226 - snowshark (07/10/2013) [-]
Cambridge master race.
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