Late For Work. A joke an old friend of mine told me.. Mother of Sir, what' s so important that causes you to drive so fast? Well, Officer. I' m late for work, I

Late For Work

Late For Work. A joke an old friend of mine told me.. Mother of Sir, what' s so important that causes you to drive so fast? Well, Officer. I' m late for work, I

A joke an old friend of mine told me.

Mother of
Sir, what' s so important that
causes you to drive so fast?
Well, Officer. I' m
late for work, I have
a very important
jab at the asshole
stretching factory
What the hall does one do at an
asshole stretching factory?
Okay, what happens is this: We get a
shipment of assholes and we stretch
them. We put one finger in until it fits
nicely, then we go to 2 fingers. We keep
going until we can get a whole fist in.
Then we have a device that stretches it to
my to 6 feet.
What the hell? What do you do with
a 6 foot asshole?
Most people throw them in a police
car behind a
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Submitted: 07/08/2013
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User avatar #6 - tabarzins (07/08/2013) [-]
I don't see why people hate hidden cops so much.
User avatar #31 to #6 - missrainbowdash (07/09/2013) [-]
cops in general are putrid abominations
User avatar #43 to #31 - ivoryhammer (07/09/2013) [-]
Funny, that's what I call bronies
User avatar #79 to #31 - admiralen (07/09/2013) [-]
love it when people say that, would also love to see bronies (an incredibly hated group of people) survive without someone protecting them.
#89 to #79 - grandterskrasao ONLINE (07/09/2013) [-]
would someone really go as far as assaulting a brony if he wasn't acting like a twat? People obviously need to take a step back and sort out priorities if a guy watching a show gets their blood going.
User avatar #93 to #89 - admiralen (07/09/2013) [-]
>implying the majority isnt acting like twats
User avatar #48 to #6 - imthepunkkid (07/09/2013) [-]
Because that is entrapment which is illegal
User avatar #78 to #48 - admiralen (07/09/2013) [-]
youre one dumb ************ ... entrapment is if they get you to commit the crime, not if they just take you for a crime you did on your own
User avatar #67 to #48 - mcroflskates (07/09/2013) [-]
In colorado, this is the entrapment law: "The commission of acts which would otherwise constitute an offense is not criminal if the defendant engaged in the proscribed conduct because he was induced to do so by a law enforcement official or other person acting under his direction, seeking to obtain evidence for the purpose of prosecution, and the methods used to obtain that evidence were such as to create a substantial risk that the acts would be committed by a person who, but for such inducement, would not have conceived of or engaged in conduct of the sort induced. Merely affording a person an opportunity to commit an offense is not entrapment even though representations or inducements calculated to overcome the offender's fear of detection are used." I get from this that yes they can hide, but if they were tailgating you and trying to force you to speed, that would be entrapment.
Which is ******** .
#7 to #6 - spuggle (07/08/2013) [-]
because they do nothing but wait to **** people over they're aren't protecting them and thats whit i thought cops were for
User avatar #8 to #7 - pooplol (07/08/2013) [-]
well technically they are protecting them from the people who drive over 100 mph which can endanger other lives.
User avatar #12 to #8 - thatmetalguy (07/08/2013) [-]
At that point it's understandable, but when you pull someone over for going 5-10 over the speed limit you have to admit that's pretty ridiculous. Plus, I have no respect for the cops in my city cause they break traffic laws all the time and seem to only be hiding to give people tickets.
#19 to #12 - anon (07/09/2013) [-]
5-10 mph over can make the difference between a still breathing kid and a dead kid.
User avatar #27 to #19 - thatmetalguy (07/09/2013) [-]
Its not that big of a difference. 10mph maybe but 5 isn't that big
User avatar #91 to #27 - oxYKellark (07/09/2013) [-]
well 2+2=4
5 wasn't the answer but it was close but that wont get you any points on a test.
Sure its a dick move, but they are well in the right and anyone over the posted speed limit is by law wrong, that's the whole point of having street signs its not a suggestion.

but yeah I've never been pulled over for that nor have i heard of anyone being ticketed for it either, pulled over sure but no action taken other than a warning.
#38 to #19 - anon (07/09/2013) [-]
not on a open road in the middle of ******* nowhere.
User avatar #15 to #6 - galacticboner (07/09/2013) [-]
The purpose is to obey the law, right? If they weren't hidden, people would see them and obey the law, if they're hidden, they're just waiting for you to disobey so they can give you a ticked.
User avatar #86 to #15 - mrdrpage (07/09/2013) [-]
The purpose of a ticket is so you won't do it again.
User avatar #10 to #6 - rawrbowwow [OP](07/08/2013) [-]
No one likes a camper.
#50 to #5 - fuzzysixx ONLINE (07/09/2013) [-]
#1 - sandez (07/08/2013) [-]
#24 - dickticklerluv (07/09/2013) [-]
Police have feelings too
User avatar #26 - Sockopolis (07/09/2013) [-]
Let me get this straight

When the policeman does his job, which ranges from taking down gang members or just the average drunk redneck with a shotgun, to pulling your self-entitled ass over for speeding, he is a ****** person and you hate him.
But when he doesnt do his job, he is a ****** person and you hate him.
The general population is a dick.

#59 to #26 - anon (07/09/2013) [-]
I mean if he doesn't shoot a few innocent minorities, bums or peoples pets or make any faulty arrests and get away with it scott free I guess he isn't a ****** cop. That **** happens way to often in our country though.
User avatar #68 to #26 - edwardyeap (07/09/2013) [-]
Well, yeah. Everyone is Richard.
#70 to #26 - anon (07/09/2013) [-]
I was pulled over by 2 squads and a pickup for running a stale red light, the ones you sit at at night on a dead intersection. I was mischarged (according to the judge who dropped the fine entirely and lowered the charges) and I even plead guilty. I respect cops for what they do, but dirty tactics for traffic violations? Leave that for important **** .
User avatar #29 to #26 - kuraithevision (07/09/2013) [-]
One night I bumped into a guy I knew from when we were in high school and he was telling me how much he hated the police. I asked what had happened. He said his insurance was at 900 bucks a month. I was a little shocked and asked why. He said he was racing down a street with two schools by the road, where the speed should be 40, whereas he was going about 100 km/h. I told him he deserved to be paying 900 bucks per month for insurance. He smiled and said his dad fixed him with illegal insurance so he pays next to nothing. In conclusion, some police get bitched about for dealing with gaping assholes and their ****** up **** .
#28 to #26 - ohemgeezus ONLINE (07/09/2013) [-]
Agreed. No idea why people says that cops are assholes just for the actions of a few.

There are bad cops, just as there are bad military personnel, government agents, etc.
User avatar #42 to #26 - ivoryhammer (07/09/2013) [-]
It's like how people in other countries view America, if America ignores cries for help, it's cold and heartless, if it does help, it's called imperialistic.
#57 to #42 - anon (07/09/2013) [-]
Name one place America ever "helped" the last 50 years
#99 to #57 - fucyougumby (07/09/2013) [-]
you are a 			*******		 fool, the amount of financial and medical aid that the US gives to various countries throughout the world is staggering
you are a ******* fool, the amount of financial and medical aid that the US gives to various countries throughout the world is staggering
#49 - EdwardNigma (07/09/2013) [-]
And then he got arrested.
#47 - stigman **User deleted account** (07/09/2013) [-]
#39 - AnAnon (07/09/2013) [-]
#81 - cazabrow (07/09/2013) [-]
oh **** it's the pigs...
#30 - wehavecandy (07/09/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #44 to #30 - scoobi (07/09/2013) [-]
what a rebel
#45 - Dap (07/09/2013) [-]
User avatar #84 to #45 - carnageboy (07/09/2013) [-]
******* lol'd
10/10 if troll
7/10 if copypasta
User avatar #83 to #45 - ferbisboy (07/09/2013) [-]
#13 - thatscrewedupkid (07/08/2013) [-]
get with the times
User avatar #21 to #13 - profkitty ONLINE (07/09/2013) [-]
It's illegal to own these in the state I live in...
User avatar #92 to #21 - thatscrewedupkid (07/09/2013) [-]
i thought they were only illegal in like virgina. they are legal in wisconsin
User avatar #25 to #21 - herebemonstars (07/09/2013) [-]
What does it do?
#32 to #25 - anon (07/09/2013) [-]
lick doorknobs
#33 to #25 - avengedsevenx has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #51 - aeric (07/09/2013) [-]
Another one is:

Woman gets pulled over by a cop in Oregon.

Cop: Whats the hurry?
Woman: Sorry, i'm late for the Oregon police ball.
Cop: I didn't know the Oregon police had balls-

With a defeated look on his face he walks back to his car and drives away.
#64 to #51 - deergod **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #88 to #64 - imonaboatman (07/09/2013) [-]
Do you live in Oregon? If so, how is it? I'm thinking about moving there after I graduate.
#94 to #88 - deergod **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #95 to #94 - imonaboatman (07/09/2013) [-]
I love rain, so that sounds wonderful. I've been considering Portland.
#96 to #95 - deergod **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #97 to #96 - imonaboatman (07/09/2013) [-]
That's what I've heard. I kinda like the whole walking thing though, like in D.C. It has a nice, clean, healthy feel to it. It's much better than being stuck behind miles of traffic.
#98 to #97 - deergod **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #100 to #98 - imonaboatman (07/10/2013) [-]
I'm with ya there. The weather up in Oregon sounds really nice to me too. It's hot as hell down here in the South.
#52 - tynerd (07/09/2013) [-]
**tynerd rolled a random image posted in comment #5016024 at My Little Pony fanfiction, backgrounds, songs, lyrics, and GIFs. ** This image is my new profile pic if it's hitler related
#56 to #52 - anon (07/09/2013) [-]
I think it's pretty Hitler related.
User avatar #46 - Katzie (07/09/2013) [-]
I'm trying to figure out why this is thumbed up. It's a guy just being a douchebag with a really overdone and old joke.
Must be dickbutt
User avatar #40 - breadmolester (07/09/2013) [-]
im just throwing this out there, in Canada, if cops hide behind something they get in huge amounts of **** . they have to be visible to the traffic. if not its entrapment.
User avatar #72 to #40 - herecomesjohnny (07/09/2013) [-]
why would it be entrapment, they're not tempting the person to go faster by hiding
User avatar #75 to #72 - breadmolester (07/09/2013) [-]
not my rule. whenever i see a cop now, compared to when i was a kid, they HAVE TO be in the open

when i was a kid i remember them hiding off the road, in the bushes, behind signs and bushes. i was told its because of human rights. it seams stupid. but thats what iv been told by a few different people.
User avatar #76 to #75 - herecomesjohnny (07/09/2013) [-]
that's some crazy stuff yo
User avatar #82 to #76 - breadmolester (07/09/2013) [-]
i think it falls under privacy act in Canada, if they are on the high way. they have to be in the open, and i hear they even have to keep there lights on so people know there there. also, if ur American i hate throwing it out there, but we have a lot more human rights then they do.

another strange thing, even though there in the open and noticeable, if some one coming from the other direction flashes u with there brights to warn you theres a cop they can be fined, weird **** , but i dont drive, so i dont worry about it , i just ride my polar bear everywhere
User avatar #34 - oceanfrank (07/09/2013) [-]
Lol. Love how the cop plays along. Try this on an actual cop he'll just say some **** like, "save it, i dont got time to hear what kind of job you got."
#11 - hobolicker (07/08/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#54 to #11 - xjiicx (07/09/2013) [-]
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