tears of jesus. . one time when I was 6 my mom caught the trying to eat pure sugar out of the container M she stopped and said "Would you like to have even ?" a
x

tears of jesus

one time when I was 6 my mom caught the
trying to eat pure sugar out of the container
M she stopped and said "Would you like to
have even ?" and
course little naive 6 war old me said we
we I would M she said "smell it first and
then melee" and handed the a nettle of
weight vanilla extract and course it
smelled like the tears en i said YES
give me and ehe let me take a huge swag
and we why I have trust iedude.
...
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Views: 36218
Favorited: 101
Submitted: 07/04/2013
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Comments(66):

[ 66 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#47 - lunaisbestpony ONLINE (07/05/2013) [-]
My 8 year old nephew wanted to try my vodka, so I gave him vinegar.
Am I a bad person?
User avatar #74 to #47 - faridahmalik (07/05/2013) [-]
The Vodka would have worked even better.
#53 to #47 - anon (07/05/2013) [-]
No, you saved him from illegally drinking...for the rest of his life. XD
User avatar #60 to #47 - zaxzwim (07/05/2013) [-]
not at all. if anything it was a good thing
User avatar #49 to #47 - spamalope (07/05/2013) [-]
no
#1 - flutterkrieg (07/04/2013) [-]
I expected it to be a sex joke.
I expected it to be a sex joke.
User avatar #2 to #1 - millex (07/04/2013) [-]
so did I.
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#3 to #2 - nock **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #4 to #3 - millex (07/04/2013) [-]
What post?
0
#5 to #4 - nock **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #6 to #5 - millex (07/04/2013) [-]
To agree?
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#8 to #6 - nock **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #10 to #6 - mrloki (07/04/2013) [-]
I agree
User avatar #39 to #1 - woobumpercars (07/05/2013) [-]
Oh thank god, I thought I was the only one.
#30 - pvtdancer (07/05/2013) [-]
If you read just the yellow, it's a whole different story
+9
#29 - kyforst has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #58 - markisawesome (07/05/2013) [-]
The lightbulb tells a story about a french child that was caught eating pure sugar and challenged by his mom to a duel of melee combat.
#72 to #58 - andromedika (07/05/2013) [-]
MFW he took a huge swag
User avatar #20 - xtwinblade (07/05/2013) [-]
Would someone mind telling me what Straight vanilla extract is?
User avatar #48 to #20 - heartlessrobot (07/05/2013) [-]
It will kill you from the inside out. Emotionally.
#57 to #20 - anon (07/05/2013) [-]
Because it's an extract and it is usually distilled. Vanilla extract is alcohol-like.
#59 to #20 - anon (07/05/2013) [-]
Its kinda like gay vanilla extract, but more bitter
#69 to #20 - disconinja (07/05/2013) [-]
It taste like mouth wash but like 5x worst.
User avatar #32 to #20 - llamasandwhich (07/05/2013) [-]
If you put it in mountain dew it tastes amazing.
#25 to #20 - lolfire (07/05/2013) [-]
It's like this...........on crack.
User avatar #21 to #20 - Mooseonweed (07/05/2013) [-]
Smells like tears of jesus

Tastes like piss of satan
User avatar #22 to #21 - xtwinblade (07/05/2013) [-]
i am sorry, but i have no reference to what tears of jesus would smell like.
User avatar #26 to #22 - thetom (07/05/2013) [-]
from my experience it smells like vanilla ice cream
User avatar #40 to #26 - notstill (07/05/2013) [-]
Vanilla ice cream and vanilla extract smell nothing alike.
User avatar #43 to #40 - thetom (07/05/2013) [-]
not the way you're smelling it.

i think it has very striking similarities
User avatar #44 to #43 - notstill (07/05/2013) [-]
You must've smelled some weird vanilla ice cream then.
User avatar #56 to #44 - critality (07/05/2013) [-]
im pretty sure it's the other way around here. real quality vanilla icecream smells just like vanilla extract
User avatar #27 to #21 - tears (07/05/2013) [-]
I'm from satan actually.
User avatar #12 - thereisaguy (07/04/2013) [-]
Vanilla extract actually contains alcohol. I work at Party City and we accidentally ordered some but we don't sell it so we broke the bottles out back of the store and the fumes got pretty strong.
#51 to #12 - anon (07/05/2013) [-]
It's too small of an amount of alcohol to actually matter.
#14 to #12 - disturbedmaster (07/05/2013) [-]
you mean you couldnt return it and get a damn refund ?
User avatar #16 to #14 - thereisaguy (07/05/2013) [-]
Wasn't my idea, I just rolled with it. We lost a total of $60 or so and the hassle of sending it back to the vendor would be a huge pain.
#17 to #16 - disturbedmaster (07/05/2013) [-]
ohh lmfao so the company didnt really lose much
User avatar #18 to #17 - thereisaguy (07/05/2013) [-]
It was a pretty small case of the stuff, I'm not receiver so it might not have even been meant to go to us.
User avatar #45 - scrumdiddlyumpshus (07/05/2013) [-]
"and course little naive 6 war old me said we we..."

The lightbulb is goin' all French on us.
And yes I know it isn't spelled like that shut up

"and ehe let me take a huge swag..."

I don't know why that made me laugh so much.

User avatar #28 - urbanshark (07/05/2013) [-]
dat run-on sentence...
#23 - breadmolester (07/05/2013) [-]
grenadine is sweeter ;)
User avatar #36 - cactusphalus (07/05/2013) [-]
"I have trust iedude"

why the hell did i laugh so much at this?
#11 - oblawlawblog (07/04/2013) [-]
**oblawlawblog rolled a random image posted in comment #20 at Websites **
Pure vanilla extract is usually about 35% alcohol. If the swig was big enough, it could probably get a 6 year old pretty hammered.
#38 to #11 - anon (07/05/2013) [-]
too bad it isn't the same type of alcohol that is consumed by humans, if she drank enough, it could've burned her stomach lining. My friend did this once and had to go to the hospital.
User avatar #52 to #38 - alexthebest (07/05/2013) [-]
You're probably thinking of methanol which is used in antifreeze or isopropyl alcohol. However, these would NEVER be used in food products, since they're so toxic.
0
#41 to #11 - kiermatv has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #42 to #11 - kiermatv (07/05/2013) [-]
THE KING OF THE NORTH
User avatar #33 - chrislyles (07/05/2013) [-]
"Smell and then melee". My mom used to say that to me every day. Used to...
#73 - badrey (07/05/2013) [-]
i would give my son the scented erasers, which was my dream to be edible when i was a kid.
User avatar #54 - PadreRasta (07/05/2013) [-]
Intoxication

As with many other preparations made from alcohol, such as perfumes, colognes, aftershaves, mouthwashes, cold preparations and other food flavorings, it is theoretically possible to become intoxicated by drinking large amounts of vanilla extract because of the alcohol mixed with it. There have been at least two documented cases. Adulterants such as coumarin, which is often found in vanilla extract, can cause sickness and liver damage if ingested in extremely high doses.
-Wikipedia

Yeah, your mom is great.
#61 to #54 - anon (07/05/2013) [-]
the recipe to make vanilla extract is: soak vanilla beans in vodka.
#55 to #54 - trickytrickster (07/05/2013) [-]
Yah one tiny child sized swig will cause liver failure and black you out...
#7 - anon (07/04/2013) [-]
parenting done right
User avatar #9 to #7 - davvi (07/04/2013) [-]
>trust issues
>parenting done right
User avatar #15 to #9 - evilanakie ONLINE (07/05/2013) [-]
if you trust your mother
something is very, very wrong
#24 to #9 - xnotcreative (07/05/2013) [-]
I'd rather be ****** over by family than by some other guy at school or something.
User avatar #50 to #9 - eliopess (07/05/2013) [-]
I don't see the problem, he learned not to trust everyone, and that is needed these days.
#34 - Byte (07/05/2013) [-]
God yes!
God yes!
User avatar #70 - mrgoodlove (07/05/2013) [-]
and diabeetus
User avatar #71 to #70 - wheresthefudge (07/05/2013) [-]
Don't know if you've ever tasted straight vanilla extract, but it's not enjoyable despite its odor. It'd be enough for someone who doesn't know better to swear off anything sweet-smelling.
So probably not daibeetus then.
User avatar #66 - yetiyitties (07/05/2013) [-]
I ate a raw chicken drumstick. All of it, didn't get sick. It was weird because I thought that if you took away just the feathers of a chickens leg then it would look like the one I ate. I tried and I got killed by a mama chicken. Beaks don't feel good.
User avatar #46 - eyerandomz (07/05/2013) [-]
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