Long gone repost. A repost, but fun as hell!. mama K Here‘: a prime example of "Men Are From Mara, Women he From Venue." It is offered by an English professor f
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Long gone repost

Long gone repost. A repost, but fun as hell!. mama K Here‘: a prime example of "Men Are From Mara, Women he From Venue." It is offered by an English professor f

A repost, but fun as hell!

mama K
Here‘: a prime example of "Men
Are From Mara, Women he From
Venue." It is offered by an
English professor from the
University of Colorado as an
actual dill :
A Creative Writing professor told his
class one day: "Today we will
experiment with a new form called
the tandem story. The process is
simple. Each person will pair off with
the person sitting next to his or her
desk.
As homework tonight, one of you will
write the first paragraph of a short
story. You will femail your partner
that paragraph and send another
copy to me. The partner will read the
first paragraph and then add another
paragraph to the story and send it
back, also sending another copy to
me. The dirst person will then add a
third paragraph, and so on backhand-
forth.
Remember to rebread what has been
written each time In order to keep
the story coherent. There is to be
absolutely NO talking outside of the
and anything you wish to say
must be written in the femail. The
story is over when both agree is
conclusion has been readied."
The following was actually turned in
by two of his English students:
Rebeca (PINK)
Bill (BLUE).
THE STORY:
first paragraph by Rebeca)
At first Laurie couldn' t decide which
kind of tea she wanted. The
chamomile, which used to be her
favorite for lazy evenings at home,
now reminded her too much of Carl,
who once said, in happier times, that
he liked chamomile. But she felt she
must now, at all costs, keep her mind
on Cari. His possessiveness was
suffocating, and if she thought about
him too much her asthma started
acting up again. so chamomile was
out of the question.
second paragraph by Bill l
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant can
Harris, leader of the attack squadron
now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more
Important things to think about than
the neuroses of an bareheaded
asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with
whom he had spent one sweaty mg
ht over a year ago, "AS. Harris to
Gasstation 17/ he said into his
communicator. " Polar
orbit established. No sign of
resistance so far..." But before he
Writing t my funny) _ --
could sign off a bluish particle beam
flashed out of nowhere and blasted a
hole through his ship' s cargo bay. The
jolt from the direct hit sent flying
out of his seat and across the
cockpit.
Rebeca)
He bumped his head and died almost
Immediately, but not before he felt
one last pang of regret for psychically
brutalizing the one woman who had
ever had feelings for him. Soon
afterwards, Earth stopped its
pointless
hostilities towards the peaceful
farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress
Passes Law Permanently Abolishing
war and Space Travel," Laurie read in
her newspaper one morning. The
news simultaneously excited her and
bored her. She stared out the window,
dreaming of her youth, when the
days had passed umhum' edly and
carefree, with no newspaper to read,
no television to distract her from
her sense of innocent wonder at all
the beautiful things around her. "Why
must one lose one' s innocence to
become a woman?" she pondered
wistfully.
t Bill l
Attle did she know, but she had less
than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of
miles above the city, the Anu' Adrian
when mining; f my funny)
mothership launched the farst of its
lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted
wimpy percent's who pushed the
Unilateral Aerospace disarmament
Treaty through the Congress had ler t
Earth a defenseless target for the
hostile alien empires who were
determined to
destroy the human race. Within two
hours after the passage of the treaty
the Anu' uratan ships were on course
for Earth, carrying enough firepower
to pulverize the entire planet. With no
one to stop them, they swiftly
initiated their diabolical plan. The
lithium fusion missile entered the
atmosphere unimpeded. The
President, in his mobile
submarine headquarters on the ocean
floor off the coast of Guam ' felt the
massive explosion,
which vaporized even poor, stupid
Laurie.
Rem)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue
this mockery of literature. My writing
partner is a violent, chauvinistic
adolescent.
t our l
Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a
tedious neurotic whose
attempts at writing are the literary
equivalent of Valium. " Oh, shall I
have chamomile tea? or shall I have
toturing ( veze runny)
some other sort of FAKING TEA???
Oh no,
what am I to do? I' m such an air
headed bimbo. I guess I' read too
many Danielle Steele novels!"
Rebeca)
t Bill l
B* echl
Rem)
F''" YOU - YOU NEANDERTHALS!
t Bill l
In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some
TEACHER)
I really liked this one.
...
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Views: 47582
Favorited: 398
Submitted: 07/03/2013
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Comments(154):

[ 154 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #8 - ckott **User deleted account** (07/04/2013) [-]
"one sweaty nig"
User avatar #63 to #8 - wtfduud (07/04/2013) [-]
Sounds like Usain Bolt to me.
#3 - notthepedobear (07/04/2013) [-]
thought of these two
#146 to #3 - Rascal (07/04/2013) [-]
one nig ht, I read one ****** hit and i'm like, woooah did not expect this kind of a twist
User avatar #31 to #3 - octaviano ONLINE (07/04/2013) [-]
Where is the Bacon Page when you need it.
Tentacle Soup.
#4 to #3 - Rascal (07/04/2013) [-]
Oh my god oh my god oh my god I love you
User avatar #49 to #3 - warioteam (07/04/2013) [-]
I thought about it a minute and realize this is EXACTLY something that would happen.
User avatar #50 to #3 - ompalomper (07/04/2013) [-]
do you even truly realize how perfect this is?

you sir are a genius
#122 to #5 - Rascal (07/04/2013) [-]
I was waiting for this to appear in the comments. I was not disappointed.
#15 - granadablashlack ONLINE (07/04/2013) [-]
I still think this could be made into a porno
I still think this could be made into a porno
#44 - CaptainPugwash (07/04/2013) [-]
Makes me laugh every time.   
And I've seen it MANY MANY TIMES.
Makes me laugh every time.
And I've seen it MANY MANY TIMES.
#1 - cweepew (07/04/2013) [-]
10/10 would read again
10/10 would read again
User avatar #112 to #1 - raincollie (07/04/2013) [-]
You probably could've done it by the time you wrote this and looked for the reaction gif.
User avatar #53 to #1 - seriouslyblack (07/04/2013) [-]
I have already

5 times

no joke
#2 to #1 - navar (07/04/2013) [-]
Everyone should!
Everyone should!
#9 to #2 - crosskill (07/04/2013) [-]
Everyone has*
#18 - alawabidingcitizen ONLINE (07/04/2013) [-]
This is one of those few reposts that I don't mind seeing again

<<< Here's another (NOT mine)
#22 to #18 - ubadubba (07/04/2013) [-]
I love how it ends with &quot;start&quot; instead of &quot;end&quot;.   
   
   
Uh, gif not relevant.
I love how it ends with "start" instead of "end".


Uh, gif not relevant.
#45 to #22 - thelowbrass (07/04/2013) [-]
Thats the part i couldnt understand. mind explaining?
#51 to #45 - ScruffytheJanitor (07/04/2013) [-]
Probably something sappy that means he's embarking on a new adventure or something.
#163 to #51 - thelowbrass (07/05/2013) [-]
oh. ok. thanks,
User avatar #107 to #45 - artjunk (07/04/2013) [-]
Something to the effect of "Life only truly begins when you start living for the love of yourself, and not for the love of others."


Or some sappy **** like that. Like....pfft....
#162 to #107 - thelowbrass (07/05/2013) [-]
ahh. thanks
#98 - appleboom (07/04/2013) [-]
I want to know more about the Anu'udrians. What kind of culture would be able to survive the years of reform they must have gone through while advancing to such a technological level. Were they a peaceful people, but just recently usurped by a dictator due to economic strife, like Hitler? Were they always like this? Are they even human? Them being of a different species would explain how such a violent and outwardly aggressive culture would survive for so long, but if they are, what is that species like? Do they have a central nervous system?

And who is Laurie? Maybe she was an alien in the guise of a human who forgot her past self somehow, but still held her old species' innate abilities? Maybe that's why she likes chamomile tea.

Pic semi related, Battlefront 3 screenshots from before DICE started working on it.
#104 to #98 - whyunofeellucky (07/04/2013) [-]
Probably a rogue faction of surviving Protheans that hate primitives alot.
Probably a rogue faction of surviving Protheans that hate primitives alot.
User avatar #30 - Epicgetguy (07/04/2013) [-]
Who the **** actually likes chamomile?

French vanilla Tea Master race
User avatar #36 to #30 - ronyx (07/04/2013) [-]
Too mainstream.
User avatar #137 to #36 - gentlemanotaku (07/04/2013) [-]
and the disgusting french vanilla tea isnt?

son, you need to get learned
User avatar #161 to #137 - ronyx (07/05/2013) [-]
I never said it was
#38 to #30 - Rascal (07/04/2013) [-]
Ever played Katawa Shoujo?
User avatar #164 to #38 - Epicgetguy (07/06/2013) [-]
Hell yeah mah *****
User avatar #108 - thedutchs (07/04/2013) [-]
Could Bill's text have been as boring and stupid to women as Rebecca's text to men?

Because I think Rebecca is simply a terrible writer rather than a feminine one.
User avatar #139 to #108 - ferrettamer ONLINE (07/04/2013) [-]
I thought they were both awful, and I'm male. Though Bill's was funny
User avatar #37 - ljxjlos (07/04/2013) [-]
This is glorious.

Btw: ******* Bitch, everyone knows that simple black tea is where it´s at.
#54 to #37 - Rascal (07/04/2013) [-]
Black tea with milk*

England bitch.

Also, **** that slut, she sounds like a feminist

User avatar #125 to #54 - ljxjlos (07/04/2013) [-]
Actually yes, Milk makes it even better.
#39 to #37 - spectralkestrel (07/04/2013) [-]
YES!
User avatar #100 to #37 - robotgoose (07/04/2013) [-]
Earl grey master race.
User avatar #70 to #37 - captnnorway (07/04/2013) [-]
Green tea is love
Green tea is life
#132 - JMF (07/04/2013) [-]
#48 - crazyolitis (07/04/2013) [-]
Seriously? 'They put a ban on war and spacetravel'? Well, good luck with that, putting a ban on war. Also, spacetravel would probably be what kept all the planets alive. Because some would be agricultural and some would be industrial, etc. But no, let's starve whole plantes, while some other will probably fall back to the middle ages! Why the 			****		 not!   
   
Sorry about that, but that's just... is that girl even tied to realism?
Seriously? 'They put a ban on war and spacetravel'? Well, good luck with that, putting a ban on war. Also, spacetravel would probably be what kept all the planets alive. Because some would be agricultural and some would be industrial, etc. But no, let's starve whole plantes, while some other will probably fall back to the middle ages! Why the **** not!

Sorry about that, but that's just... is that girl even tied to realism?
#82 to #48 - traveller (07/04/2013) [-]
Your Paragraph is exactly why they don't let women be president.
User avatar #83 to #82 - crazyolitis (07/04/2013) [-]
Maybe not in America, but in Germany... and a few other countries.
User avatar #109 to #83 - thedutchs (07/04/2013) [-]
I wouldn't call Merkel a woman, though.
#85 to #83 - traveller (07/04/2013) [-]
lol, 'banning war'
User avatar #86 to #85 - crazyolitis (07/04/2013) [-]
hue
User avatar #90 to #48 - MysticTomatoe (07/04/2013) [-]
it could start a war to lift the ban against war
#60 to #48 - fausticorn ONLINE (07/04/2013) [-]
That's pretty much half the story of 40k, though.

Many star systems became impossible to leave or enter, making space travel for them impossible, as as such a lot of planets became Medieval type cultures, with remnants of their former glory.

(Knights with big Power-Swords and guns)
#61 to #60 - crazyolitis (07/04/2013) [-]
Indeed it is. If only Horus wouldn't have been such a whiny bitch.
#62 to #61 - fausticorn ONLINE (07/04/2013) [-]
" **** , why didn't I name Sanguinius Warmaster instead of that cunt Horus?" - The Emperor's final thought before being plugged into the Galactic GPS
#65 to #62 - crazyolitis (07/04/2013) [-]
I wonder, what would have happened if they put him in a dreadnaught? All the heretic scum, xeno's and mutants would be doomed!

But yeah, Horus was both a cunt, a dumbass, a cunty dumbass and dumbass cunt.
Also, where did you get Galactic GPS? I laughed my ass off.
#66 to #65 - fausticorn ONLINE (07/04/2013) [-]
He got plugged into the Astronomican, the guiding beacon of light that Astropaths use to travel the galaxy.

#67 to #66 - crazyolitis (07/04/2013) [-]
Yeah, I know that, but for some reason 'Galactic GPS' is just funny to me. Anyway, do the chaos gods only have control over the warp in the humans' galaxy, or do they over the whole universe (and does the warp cover only the galaxy or the whole universe?)
#69 to #67 - fausticorn ONLINE (07/04/2013) [-]
Well considering that the Warp is this plane where all the rules of the universe are bent, twisted out of shape, eaten, and then shat out again, you can probably get away with saying "It's both bigger AND smaller than the real universe"
User avatar #71 to #69 - crazyolitis (07/04/2013) [-]
**** , man, you're probably right. Also, what's your opinion on the caos gods? Khorne being an aggressive ADHD warrior, Slaanseh being an oversexed shemale, tzeentch being a huge dick and master of 'just as planned' and Nurgle, well, being Nurgle.

P.S. here's an interesting channel, first few episodes are hard to understand, but after a few it gets much better: www.youtube.com/user/VaultsOfTerra
#73 to #71 - fausticorn ONLINE (07/04/2013) [-]
Ehh, the VoT are alright, but I prefer to just read the wiki.

And the Chaos Gods are just assholes. Complete assholes.
And hopefully, one day, the Emprah will bitchslap them to death.
#74 to #73 - crazyolitis (07/04/2013) [-]
I wonder what the Imperium would have become if they kept advancing their technology?No other race would be able to challenge humanity! It would have been grande!
#75 to #74 - fausticorn ONLINE (07/04/2013) [-]
Dark Age of Technology 2.0?
#80 to #75 - crazyolitis (07/04/2013) [-]
Except with no rebelling AI. Man, I also wonder what would happen if the IG would actually use tactics, instead of drowning the enemy in their blood? Remember, despite his lasgun and his flakarmor, compared to the mini-nuke launchers and invincible power armor of the enemy, the gun is like a flashlight and the armor is like a t-shirt.
#87 to #80 - fausticorn ONLINE (07/04/2013) [-]
If the IG used tactics and decent equipment, they'd be a ******** version of the Tau
#88 to #87 - crazyolitis (07/04/2013) [-]
Implying they weren't already. Sort of. Anyway, I keep hearing that the Tau are ******* just about everybody over, with sterilization and stuff. Is that true? I mean, I'm pretty new to Warhammer, and I don't know much, but the Tau seemed to be the morally least questionable.
#91 to #88 - fausticorn ONLINE (07/04/2013) [-]
Yup, the Tau are cunts.
I'd say that the Imperium are the good guys in a way.

They're fighting for their survival.
#93 to #91 - crazyolitis (07/04/2013) [-]
For as far as I know, everybody is a cunt. Perhaps the Orks are the least cunts? I mean, they only want to have fun with their WAAAGH!!!'s
For as far as I know, everybody is a cunt. Perhaps the Orks are the least cunts? I mean, they only want to have fun with their WAAAGH!!!'s
#94 to #93 - fausticorn ONLINE (07/04/2013) [-]
I suppose


"You have come here to die, Ork!" - General Lucas Alexander
" 'GUESS SO!" - Gorgutz
#96 to #94 - crazyolitis (07/04/2013) [-]
To be honest with you, I'd rather be a succesful Ork, than a succesful anything else in 40K. Orks just seem to have fun most of the time, not fear, suffering, etc. Like nearly all the other races.
0
#92 to #91 - crazyolitis has deleted their comment [-]
#84 to #62 - traveller (07/04/2013) [-]
'before being plugged into the galactic gps'

lel
#6 - lfunnymanl (07/04/2013) [-]
**lfunnymanl rolled a random image posted in comment #135 at Cosplay ** the guy's story was pretty cool, reminded me of 00 gundam
#41 to #6 - Rascal (07/04/2013) [-]
It's been years since I've seen any Gundam, and when I read 00 Gundam, I pictured that Big Sister doing James Bond stuff.
#33 - dissectedtesticle (07/04/2013) [-]
As I read through the girl's paragraphs, my jaw would clench in utter disgust and my mind would be flooded by the overwhelming desire to walk out of my house and punch the first teenage girl wearing skimpy clothes, preferably with a faggot for a boyfriend. The ignorance performed by this paradigm of abomination is simply astounding.
#17 - chaosascendingx (07/04/2013) [-]
*******		 beautiful   
had me clapping like a retarded seal   
Would love to read another one of these
******* beautiful
had me clapping like a retarded seal
Would love to read another one of these
#127 - thearcher (07/04/2013) [-]
Men love arse, Women love penis
#97 - mupex (07/04/2013) [-]
Even more hilarious when read by the glorious Roy Kelley Tandem story writing assignment (men vs women)
User avatar #99 to #97 - laelaps (07/04/2013) [-]
I found his narration to be very off-putting. He read it like he was acting out a script like a parent would read a childrens book to their kid. It would have been much funnier if he read it the way you would read a novel keeping a neutral tone through both paragraphs.
User avatar #58 - internetrage (07/04/2013) [-]
at the end of the day, they're both just awful writers
User avatar #119 to #58 - popkornking (07/04/2013) [-]
Probably because this is fake
User avatar #81 to #58 - smittywrbmnjnsn (07/04/2013) [-]
Well, the guy was only trying to be funny.
The girl took her ****** writing too seriously.
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