This is Jenga. Source: In content. Phillip ll of Macedon sent an envoy to Sparta threatening: "lfl win this war, you will be slaves forever." - The Spartan' s r

This is Jenga

Phillip ll of Macedon sent an envoy to Sparta
threatening: "lfl win this war, you will be
slaves forever." - The Spartan' s replied: "If."
Both Phillip and his sen Alexander (the Great)
avoided Sparta entirely.
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Submitted: 07/01/2013
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#40 - brenton (07/02/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #37 - HeeroYuy (07/02/2013) [-]
Yeah, instead of attacking a city, Alexander decided to go and conquer one of the largest and most powerful empires in the world...
User avatar #44 - thegamegestapo (07/02/2013) [-]
During the Second World War a Nazi diplomat tried to play hardball with the Swiss. The Conversation went something along the lines of this:
Nazi: You have a standing army of only five thousand, how would you stop us if we were to invade.
Swiss Badass: You see every member of our population is trained how to fight. In a day we can mobilise two hundred and fifty thousand soldiers.
Nazi: But we have Five hundred thousand, what would you do then?
Swiss Badass: We would fire twice.

User avatar #66 to #44 - admiralen ONLINE (07/02/2013) [-]
real reason is cause everyone guards the swiss
User avatar #103 to #44 - gammajk (07/02/2013) [-]
Also doesn't hurt that the entire country is explosive
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#114 to #103 - thegamegestapo (07/02/2013) [-]
I knew they were up to something...
#106 to #44 - recio **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #113 to #106 - thegamegestapo (07/02/2013) [-]
True or not, it's a good story.
#115 to #113 - recio **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#64 to #44 - anon (07/02/2013) [-]
Switzerland has a lot of mountains and it is hard to invade, and then theres the money too...
User avatar #12 - zxz (07/02/2013) [-]
Phillip and Alexander didn't "avoid" Sparta; it just wasn't worth conquering, they didn't give a **** about Sparta when the real prize was Persia.

Also "During Alexander's campaigns in the east, the Spartan king, Agis III sent a force to Crete in 333 BC with the aim of securing the island for Sparta.[26] Agis next took command of allied Greek forces against Macedon, gaining early successes, before laying siege to Megalopolis in 331 BC. A large Macedonian army under general Antipater marched to its relief and defeated the Spartan-led force in a pitched battle.[27] More than 5,300 of the Spartans and their allies were killed in battle, and 3,500 of Antipater's troops.[28] Agis, now wounded and unable to stand, ordered his men to leave him behind to face the advancing Macedonian army so that he could buy them time to retreat. On his knees, the Spartan king slew several enemy soldiers before being finally killed by a javelin.[29] Alexander was merciful, and he only forced the Spartans to join the League of Corinth, which they had previously refused to join.[30]"

Yes it's wikipedia; sue me.
#57 to #12 - anon (07/02/2013) [-]
******** ... Don't trust wikipedia when its about Macedonian history , bcuz they don't have history,they just stole Bulgarian , Thracians and Slavs, and most of their history is lies and myths. They claim even Alexander is Macedonian even all the facts are against them.
#80 to #12 - anon (07/02/2013) [-]
so whered you copy and paste this from?
User avatar #81 to #80 - fukkenbisharp (07/02/2013) [-]
wikipedia, i says right there on the bottom of he comment
User avatar #83 to #12 - Kairyuka (07/02/2013) [-]
Consider yourself sued, my good sir!
Just kidding, I'm not american, I'm not even wearing a flag on my head.
User avatar #46 to #12 - bobothebassdrummer (07/02/2013) [-]
This isn't a paper for school, and you are the only one who decided to go and actually look up any sort of valid information. For that +1
#31 to #12 - anon (07/02/2013) [-]
then you can think, it is the victor who gets to write in the history books
User avatar #50 - attifyon (07/02/2013) [-]
Greeks barely made statues of Ares because they believed that the statues would become alive and slaughter people in a bloodlust, and the very few statues that were made were held down with chains and kept in walled areas.
Spartans put that **** into open areas with civilians.
User avatar #54 to #50 - schneidend (07/02/2013) [-]
Spartans thought to themselves "getting ****** up by Ares would be a pretty sweet way to die. And, you never know, I might just kick his ass."
#85 to #54 - tomthehippie (07/02/2013) [-]
Lionidas' fw

Statue of the God of War coming to life to kill everyone?

Lets do this! FOR SPARTA!
User avatar #117 to #85 - sspacecore ONLINE (07/02/2013) [-]
I thin you gave me cancer
User avatar #17 - thepastryistrue (07/02/2013) [-]
And all the Spartans were like: εἰ!
#20 to #17 - sandwitchman **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #25 to #20 - thepastryistrue (07/02/2013) [-]
That'd be οὐ
User avatar #86 - flaminggodzilla (07/02/2013) [-]
It wasn't that way at all, Alexandar had no use for Sparta, he built and empire twice the size of the Roman Empire and combined thousands of cultures. He could have swept away with Sparta, but why would he when he already controlled most of Greece. The spartans would have just caused trouble and he didn't need it. They didn't attack him and so he didn't attack them. I give them that, the spartans were the greatest warriors in greece, but Alexandar was the greatest field commander in history and never lost one battle in his life. Not once, and one of the only people in history that can claim that.
User avatar #94 to #86 - metajunky (07/02/2013) [-]
Greatest field general in history? Sure Alaxander was good, but most his fights were against those who hardly even invented the wheel
User avatar #98 to #94 - theshadowed ONLINE (07/02/2013) [-]
It was mostly the Persians and the Indians, who were pretty advanced
User avatar #125 to #94 - flaminggodzilla (07/03/2013) [-]
His counquest was through the middle east and to Asia. Asia was the most advanced civilization during the time, as well as had the largest armies. Most of his fights were against one of the most powerful empires in the history of the world, The Persian Empire. He met his 30,000 troops against well over 100,000 persians and won, Not once, but twice. He never lost a fight, outnumbered most of the time, but not outmatched.
User avatar #99 to #86 - theshadowed ONLINE (07/02/2013) [-]
But Alexander was an arrogant cunt who was probably poisoned by friends he had alienated. And while his Empire was big, it wasn't stable, as shown by its collapse after his death
#102 to #86 - Uranium (07/02/2013) [-]
A war between Sparta and Alexander the great still would of been very costly and it was better to avoid it entirely since Sparta at the time had no interest in conquest.
#118 to #86 - godoftheanons (07/02/2013) [-]
"Bring forth a man who has bled more than me and we shall go home." One of my favorite quotes by him.

They didn't go home that day.
User avatar #110 to #86 - bjorntheberserk (07/02/2013) [-]
Uhhh Sparta was a joke by then since they lost the Greek Hegemony wars to Thebes they never fielded their armies again. They were so embarrassed by losing a phalanx battle (which they were best at) to Thebes that yeah they became a joke. Also Spartan's phalanxes could not withstand Phillip of Macedon's oblique Calvary charges. There is a reason Alexander conquered the known world and that is because the military tactics his dad perfected were not only revolutionary but also very effective.

Also Philip was mentored in military tactics by Epaminondas the Theban general who defeated Sparta during the Greek hegemony wars.
#47 - dehymenator (07/02/2013) [-]
You know you are a bad ass if Alexander the Great doesn't want to **** with you.
#93 to #47 - anon (07/02/2013) [-]
Then I must be a badass, not once has he ****** with me.
#51 - anon (07/02/2013) [-]
Pretty cool that they all spoke English back then.
User avatar #53 to #51 - kommandantvideo (07/02/2013) [-]
It's translated
User avatar #91 to #53 - tatwis ONLINE (07/02/2013) [-]
Were you present at the time to approve of this?
#107 to #91 - pineapplepeople (07/02/2013) [-]
Were you there at the time of your conception?
User avatar #116 to #53 - sspacecore ONLINE (07/02/2013) [-]
you just gave me every type of cancer ever discovered and probably some undiscovered types too. and yes men can get breast cancer
#3 - anon (07/02/2013) [-]
There are two accounts of what Phillip II said, the one in the above image and the following: "You are advised to submit without further delay, for if I bring my army into your land, I will destroy your farms, slay your people, and raze your city." The quote in my comment is the more commonly accepted as the real message. Although Phillip's message has two versions the Spartan's response stays the same.
#58 - anothereposter **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#11 - pokemonredrules (07/02/2013) [-]
That was actually a message sent from the Athenian people during the Peloponnesian war between Sparta and Athens (kinda like the ancient cold war lasted 100 years with little to no real direct conflicts). the message also read that if Sparta lost the war they would be kill, have there lands burned women raped and children enslaved or killed. Phillips conquest of Greece took place centuries later and he did not conquer Sparta out of respect for their culture as soldiers however after leading a revolt Alexander sent his men to bring Sparta to heel. But still nice to see ancient history jokes on FJ. also the new 300 movie is basically taking a huge **** on history.
User avatar #13 to #11 - dontdeletemyuser (07/02/2013) [-]
the new 300 movie?
#14 to #13 - pokemonredrules (07/02/2013) [-]
yeah 300: rise of an empire it looks like their taking the story of Alexanders campaign in Persia and giving it to the Spartan's. I know the first one had lots of inaccuracies but it got close this one is ridiculous
User avatar #15 to #14 - dontdeletemyuser (07/02/2013) [-]
it looks quite bad tbh. still gonna watch it though, just incase.
#16 to #15 - pokemonredrules (07/02/2013) [-]
yeah im mean for one Sparta was an inland city and they didn't sail at all i most sequels are ******
User avatar #19 to #16 - Gandalfthewhite (07/02/2013) [-]
Also the main character plays themistocles, an athenian
User avatar #18 to #16 - Gandalfthewhite (07/02/2013) [-]
those dudes aren't spartans they're from different greek states, hence the blue cloaks and different armors
#21 to #18 - pokemonredrules (07/02/2013) [-]
well i guess that's good guess i just figured it they were spartan as it was a sequel and the queen of Sparta is in it my bad still looks inaccurate
User avatar #24 to #21 - hudis (07/02/2013) [-]
Both the 300 films are "told" like war-stories, or legends, meant to boost the morale of men. That's made obvious in the end of the first 300 film when Dilios (David Wenham) speaks to his men. Neither is meant to convey accurate history or portray the past realistically; they're just exaggerated stories of war made into film.
#26 to #24 - pokemonredrules (07/02/2013) [-]
But in saying that the resources we have to study these wars were epic poems of battle meant to raise morale and points of heroism and duty and yet they are still far more based in reality their is no mention of mutated freaks, rhinos, elephants, or magical grenades in Herodotus: The Histories which was a very document they glorified these battles as epic stories.
User avatar #27 to #26 - hudis (07/02/2013) [-]
Then I guess they just took it a step further. Don't get me wrong, I agree with you and I find historical accuracy in film so much more interesting - but it's never what I would expect in a film like 300.
#28 to #27 - pokemonredrules (07/02/2013) [-]
that is true and i agree with you my main point was that the sequel seems to be going beyond even the originals inaccuracy to a complete wtf type stuff
User avatar #22 to #21 - Gandalfthewhite (07/02/2013) [-]
I reckon it will be fairly accurate but exaggerated and such like the first film, it still had the basic idea that a small force of spartans with allies lasted a couple of dies but were eventually surrounded and killed while exaggerating the persians into being all deformed and ****
#34 to #14 - angelusprimus (07/02/2013) [-]
300 rise of empire has nothing to do with alexander.
Its happening in same time as first 300 only on Athenian side of the war (thus, sea battles) and in flashbacks it tells how Persian emperor got in power and decided to conquer greece.
User avatar #59 - indigobob (07/02/2013) [-]
as far as I know this is b.s.

Why would Alexander waste his army to conquer sparta if the greek cities were allied with him? Why would he attack his allies? Instead he conquered the whole Persia, which was one of the biggest empires in the world. Must've been scared of Sparta, right?
User avatar #87 to #59 - rainbowrush ONLINE (07/02/2013) [-]
The quote in the post is not very accurate, but something similar was said. It is true that both Philip and Alex wanted Sparta, but they wisely never tried.
User avatar #65 to #59 - thebestperson (07/02/2013) [-]
I am pretty sure this is ******** . I'm Greek and I know history, but the only relation between Alexander and the Spartans was that they had refused to be his allies in his conquest because they wanted to be the leaders of it, not the followers, so Alexander said a tablet to Athens saying that the greek army had conquered Asia, united, minus the Spartans, he meant it as an insult, but I don't think they saw it as one, since they thought that a conquest without them leading them could never be serious.
User avatar #67 to #65 - indigobob (07/02/2013) [-]
thanks for further clarification
User avatar #10 - screamlikecb (07/02/2013) [-]
Spartans were OP
User avatar #38 - talkingmouth (07/02/2013) [-]
I love how 300 Spartans killed over 10,000 of the Persian Royal Guard.
User avatar #56 to #38 - schneidend (07/02/2013) [-]
Well, they also had help from about 2,700 dudes from other city-states, IIRC.
User avatar #88 to #56 - justsomeunitedguy (07/02/2013) [-]
that is still pretty amazing
User avatar #96 to #88 - schneidend (07/02/2013) [-]
Agreed. Outnumbered more than 3-to-one are some long odds. Crazy stuff.
User avatar #100 to #96 - theshadowed ONLINE (07/02/2013) [-]
Its always amazing when a force is amazingly outnumbered but still manage to win. Agincourt, for example
User avatar #108 to #100 - weejer (07/02/2013) [-]
technically they didn't win, all the spartans that were at Thermopylae were killed. but it was a Pyrrhic victory seeing as how it cost xerxes thousands of troops to take the pass. but if you are talking about the rest of the war, then you're right.
#111 - maxmoefoe (07/02/2013) [-]
#104 - falconxmard (07/02/2013) [-]
**falconxmard rolled a random image posted in comment #2614116 at Friendly **
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