How I'd kill Superman. . SUPERMA. Well, his super body is as strong as his strength, that would be the same as a normal human attempting to rip open your own ribcage, good luck with that. my thoughts on Superman
Upload
Login or register
Hide Comments
Leave a comment Refresh Comments (189)
[ 189 comments ]
Anonymous comments allowed.
asd
User avatar #3 - bluenapalm
Reply +118 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
Well, his super body is as strong as his strength, that would be the same as a normal human attempting to rip open your own ribcage, good luck with that.
#4 to #3 - anon id: 010e1c97
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
Wait...you mean you CANT rip open your own ribcage?LOL EVERYONE THIS GUY CANT OPEN UP HIS OWN RIBCAGE
User avatar #10 to #4 - thelastamerican
Reply +28 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
What a pansy.
#179 to #4 - luqmanr
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
Gif related
Gif related
#115 to #4 - hallowedfrogg
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
Good goin, Anon
#177 to #4 - chosencausefuckyou **User deleted account**
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#172 to #4 - anon id: 69bb2581
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
that incredibly painful feel when you get 536 thumbs... and you forgot to log in.
#190 to #172 - anon id: 1e1cc2de
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
implying I give a ****
#100 to #4 - anon id: 3c5f6508
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
I laughed more than I should have..
#43 to #3 - anon id: 491ad840
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
Except for the fact that he used only two fingers to rip a hole in his arm for doctors to make an injection. I'm fairly certain he could easily rip open his own ribcage.
god, superman fans ALWAYS make him out to be more OP than he really is.
User avatar #8 to #3 - angelious
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
superman actually did kill himself once by ripping his chest open...but it was just a stupid plot device to give them a reason on why darkseid managed to take over earth
#20 to #3 - alucord
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
#5 to #3 - martycamp
Reply +17 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
User avatar #12 - bakinboy
Reply +22 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
kryptonite boxing gloves
User avatar #41 to #12 - xtwinblade
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
kryptonite bullets
User avatar #47 to #41 - sanguinesolitude
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
kryptonite dildoes
#128 to #41 - anon id: 5b27e9e0
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
Except, you know "faster than a speeding bullet..."
User avatar #187 to #128 - xtwinblade
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
but the kryptonite stops his powers, so you know. He cant dodge a bullet without super speed.
#68 to #12 - kidsquicker
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
Cats, man. His one true weakness.
Cats, man. His one true weakness.
#16 to #12 - ProperInsanityWolf
Reply +66 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
and then he just stand 50 feet away and heat blasts your ass   
only batman is capable of taking out superman
and then he just stand 50 feet away and heat blasts your ass
only batman is capable of taking out superman
User avatar #22 to #16 - sanguinesolitude
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
there is no way batman could realistically beat superman

sure he is smart, doesnt matter, super man is way overpowered.
User avatar #31 to #22 - ScottP
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
Superman is also super-smart. Probably smarter than Batman.
User avatar #24 to #22 - megatrollinator
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
Batman has devised a number of ways to kill EVERY member of the Justice League, including himself.
User avatar #26 to #24 - sanguinesolitude
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
batman would be easy to kill. machine gun.

superman is nearly invincible, superspeed, could literally rip any human limb from limb, could kill with a finger flick, heat vision, etc.

smarts only count so far when facing overwhelming power.

batman has kryptonite, fly away, heat vision the kryptonite.
User avatar #29 to #26 - megatrollinator
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
Batman's methods for killing Superman:
1) Laser Cannon with a Kryptonite Focusing Crystal (Meaning the beam is infused with Kryptonite Radiation)
2) A Thermal cannon that mimics the effects of Red Sunlight (The only type that can burn Superman's skin)
3) Zattana Magic (Superman is vulnerable to the effects of Magic)
User avatar #33 to #29 - sanguinesolitude
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
laser cannon, destroy it before it can shoot. (obviously this only works if you know and it doesnt kill him by surprise)
thermal cannon. see above.
Zattana magic, luckily batman isnt magic.

User avatar #42 to #33 - kousei
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
your first two counters entirely depend on firing rate. Honestly, this debate is pointless due to the lack of context. In a context where Batman planned to kill Superman I'm sure Batman would win. In a context where Superman planned to kill Batman I'm sure Superman would win. In the event of a spontaneous fight I'd leave it to a coin toss, all depending on circumstance.
User avatar #46 to #42 - sanguinesolitude
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
in a random fight it would be superman immediately. Without preparation what could batman do? for that matter without kryptonite what could he do?

superman could kill batman in a thousand ways, batman has only kryptonite or bizarre technology that could even hurt superman.
User avatar #57 to #46 - kousei
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
I Disagree, I may be mistaken but I believe Batman carries Kryptonite with him, just tucked away so it can't hurt Superman. Even then Batman is a crafty person and highly trained in stealth so he may be able to escape into a more favorable position.

Alternatively, as was noted, Superman has a greater power so given significant levels of spontaneity he could easily rip Batman in half.

I stand by my statement of, it depends on circumstances.
User avatar #58 to #57 - sanguinesolitude
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
fair enough. batman is crafty but i think my problem is just superman is so OP. Stealth wise doesnt superman have xray vision, or was that oldschool superman.
User avatar #62 to #58 - kousei
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
oh, good point, i forgot about that. not sure how you'd get around that, but i'm sure there are a few circumstances that allow it.
User avatar #63 to #62 - sanguinesolitude
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
assuming superman didnt mind colateral damage, he could just like grab a couple chunks of uranium and smash em together to create a nuclear explosion. Bye bye batsy.
User avatar #65 to #63 - kousei
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
long story short, circumstances decide this fight.
#75 to #65 - theasguard
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
No, as stated several ******* times, batman can only possibly win in like 2 possible ways. That by no means is circumstantial, Batman would need lots of time to prepare. Given any random encounter other than batman preparing for months in advance Superman would destroy Batman outright with absolutely no chance for Batman to win.
Superman has speed, power, indestructibility, all of which would overpower any form or smarts or money any given day, ever.
User avatar #80 to #75 - kousei
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
check back a little ways, i believe i noted Batman's habit of carrying around Krytonite, Superman's weakness. This is definate, the circumstances could greatly affect his ability to use it, whether giving the opportunity, or taking it away. Also, a note, there are ways of escaping long enough to reach those two end game techniques.

You are too close, looking only at a short all out fight, not Batman's strength, only Superman's. I'm standing back and going "If these two were trying to kill each other..." yadda yadda yadda. Short game, Superman wins, long haul, Batman. This is my opinion, these are my reasons, deal with it.
User avatar #81 to #80 - theasguard
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
No I am not, if for any reason what-so-ever needed to kill one another there is one critical fact. Bat man in the end is just a smart ass human the end, just because comic's stupid ass logic of "batman somehow carries around superman's weakness without him knowing or caring" makes it seems like he'd have a change, long before batman could even reach for it he'd be dead.
What you are proving with your whole "long term" thing, is that it is not circumstantial in any way except if batman could prepare without superman knowing for months in advance.
User avatar #88 to #81 - kousei
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
Wrong, first off Superman knows Batman has it, and encourages it with the dangers that he could cause if he were to turn evil.

Second, Batman has the end game tools ready, it's just a matter of getting to them and setting them up.

Third, the bat-suit is armored and would give sufficient protection to retain consciousness after clipping blow if not a full center shot.

Fourth, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize if you are carrying a precautionary measure against someone of Superman's capability you'd better have that within damn easy reach.

Given this information, circumstances play a damned vital role in this bout. Now for the love of god use your brain and stop trying to suck off a fictional comic book character.
User avatar #91 to #88 - theasguard
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
Not sucking off anyone, I hate them both very much. What I am simply saying is that if YOU would use your brain batman would have no chance, this is why comics suck so much most of the time, so many plot holes and stupid fans (literally stupidity) that they can get away with stupid plot devices and poor character design.
User avatar #94 to #91 - lunasmidnight **User deleted account**
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
Just gonna say this once, in a canon fight, batman has beaten superman.

That is all. *flies away*
User avatar #92 to #91 - kousei
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
Wow, okay, thank you for the neon sign announcing your own idiocy. These aren't plot holes, they are filled in quite nicely. The good thing about comics is that in a single series they open and close everything, there are very few cross-series references and few of those are major enough to cause a plot hole and all that i know about, once again, are filled in nicely. Clearly you do not, and have not, read any comic books let alone series. So how are you at all qualified to talk on the subject.

for that matter, given your hatred for the art WHY are you talking on the subject at all? All you are accomplishing here is making yourself seem like a dumb a-hole. That's it.

Now, on your note about the "stupid fans" every fandom has those, all of them, no exceptions. honestly, name your fandom and i will find your retards, but also they have the good ones, like my friend from earlier. When I posed an objective view he countered it with an actually situation not something to the effect of "but supa-man is unvincible" (grammar intentional) Next time you try to say someone is wrong, back it up with solid evidence.
User avatar #108 to #92 - kousei
0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
for some odd reason i can reply to dongtran directly, however if i may pose that would be no more a victory than not fighting at all (yes i realize that's the tactic) rather it hand the "victory" in this case to Batman due to Superman forfeiting, Batman would have no reason to follow Superman because his goal would be fulfilled(protecting Earth).
User avatar #105 to #92 - dongtran
0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
I mean if you gave bat man all the time he needs he would die of old aging. Superman can fly to the sun and stay there for 100 years and he would "beat" batman.
User avatar #189 to #58 - toosexyforyou
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
Bro, don't even bother arguing with a Batman fanboy. They just make stuff up. It takes a really large amount of kryptonite to stop superman. He even beat kryptonite man in batman's body (meaning he beat a kryptonite batman). They're just going to draw their little fan comics and show you that as proof. Nothing that's cannon even hints to Batman standing a chance against Superman.
User avatar #32 to #29 - ScottP
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
No outside help.
User avatar #53 to #32 - sanguinesolitude
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
superman could just keep a pocketful of marbles and fling them like supersonic bullets at batman.
User avatar #164 to #26 - Noblevillain
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
Can we all agree though that Superman's weakness isn't kryptonite itself, but the knowledge of the presence of kryptonite? Cause it never seems to affect him until Lex pulls it out of his non-lead lined cotton jacket pocket.
User avatar #191 to #164 - sanguinesolitude
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/03/2013) [-]
that made me laugh
User avatar #89 to #24 - toosexyforyou
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
Batman had plans to "defeat" every member of the Justice League, Batman doesn't kill people. I can't remember his name but someone WAY smarter than Batman stole his plans and made them lethal and still did not kill Superman. Just sit your fanboy ass down.
User avatar #184 to #89 - megatrollinator
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
Ok then. If you're so smart, what was Batman's countermeasure for Himself?
User avatar #111 to #22 - foxyloxxy
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
the only thing that could kill superman is martian manhunter
#35 to #22 - anon id: 421dea01
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
Batman beat Superman, along with the rest of the Justice League, in the comics. That's proof enough that he can win.
User avatar #55 to #35 - Darianvincent
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
Batman has never beaten Superman in canon. o.o
User avatar #37 to #35 - sanguinesolitude
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
it was illogical though. I get that in the comics he wins, but there is no way that would happen if it were real life... which i do realize is a retarded argument even as i type it.
#51 to #37 - anon id: e7d2a11a
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
it is possible if batman knows supermans gone rogue and has time to plan and plus superman gives batman krptonite in the comics just because of that scenario.
User avatar #52 to #51 - sanguinesolitude
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
yeah, but even with kryptonite unless superman becomes retarded it would be easy to kill batman out of range of the kryptonite. Just pick up a rock and throw it at super speed, or throw a building at him, or burn him with heat vision. Or just fly straight at him at super speed so he is crushed, then limp away before the kryptonite hurts you too bad.

I dont like superman largely because he is overpowered, but since he is its just silly to think batman, a smart buff guy, is going to kill a near godlike invincible superman.
#171 to #16 - hazellekat
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
he's dancing in sync with my music O.O
User avatar #93 to #16 - amybouzaglo
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
are you forgetting about goku?
User avatar #185 to #93 - megatrollinator
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
Superman is WAY stronger than Goku
#79 to #16 - anon id: c75f3380
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
And also Doomsday, who uh...actually ******* did it.
User avatar #45 to #16 - ilovehitler
Reply -1 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
I think the Flash would be capable. I mean, he can pretty much stop time by running fast enough. I'm sure he would be able to get a piece of kryptonite and shank superman with it before he even knows what's going to happen.
User avatar #64 to #45 - asasqw
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
The flash would be able to but all superman needs to do is manage to get in the air before flash can reach him. If superman gets airborne he can just leave the planet then blow it up from orbit.
User avatar #186 to #45 - megatrollinator
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
Sorry man, but it's be shown that Superman is as fast as the Flash, maybe even Faster
#59 - parrobmx
Reply +49 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
But how did you get him naked to paint him in the first place?
User avatar #82 to #59 - sageamacuhms
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
Maybe he was wearing his actual superman suit and was asleep. Than he painted the superman suit into his clark kent suit.
#96 to #59 - anon id: adf2c58b
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
But how do you get him naked?
#110 to #59 - sewtse
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
"Excuse me Mr Clark, does this smell like morphine to you?"
#50 - jalthelas
Reply +27 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
I would kidnap fairy god parents and harness their power, then turn Superman's dick into kryptonite.

Every time he became aroused, the kryptonite would increase in amount, weakening him further.

He won't be able to have sex or masturbate anymore, and I doubt he'd try to dismember his unit, so he'll end up killing himself for me.
#72 to #50 - anon id: 5c783e05
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
Your dick doesn't actually increase in mass. it just stretches out and fills with blood
#74 to #72 - jalthelas
Reply +42 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
Just ******* go with it, okay?
#182 to #50 - luqmanr
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
Dude, that's the wrong color.
#157 to #50 - drewhamster
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
Did you say fairy god parents?
#102 - zombiefied
Reply +15 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
saved
User avatar #107 to #102 - paradox
Reply -3 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
your user name is quite appropriate for this post.
#192 to #102 - notmadguy
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(05/27/2016) [-]
**notmadguy used "*roll picture*"**
**notmadguy rolled image** no you
User avatar #1 - badgertime
Reply +14 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
thats ****** hilarious.
#103 - himommy
Reply +10 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #9 - gammajk
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
I don't get what the **** is going on in the last few panels.
#11 to #9 - anon id: 4ef5dee2
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
Superman was apparently sleeping in his supersuit, guy painted suit on him, Superman goes to expose supersuit only to expose his organs.
#19 to #9 - anon id: 604b4182
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/01/2013) [-]
Other anon explained it weird. Superman was sleeping on a bench, probably waiting for his bus. This guy stripped him naked and painted a suit on him. Superman typically rips his suit open to reveal his uniform underneath, but he wasn't wearing a suit, so he ripped his own chest open.
User avatar #162 to #19 - megusters
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
Just the tops.
#61 to #19 - anon id: d72f9b51
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
DIS ***** RIGHT HERE

gj anon
#109 - masterboll
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
someone needs help and this faggot just laughs
User avatar #112 to #109 - SuperHyperCrazy
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
he was the one crying for help
#123 to #112 - notorius
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
the joke is in the hu
#125 to #123 - SuperHyperCrazy
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
Well **** me
Well **** me

#165 to #109 - strangesir
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
huehue huhu
huehue huhu
#70 - DjRicky
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
**DjRicky rolled a random image posted in comment #55 at Potato Land ** i dont get it
#71 to #70 - indodude **User deleted account**
Reply -4 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
**indodude rolled a random image posted in comment #2837421 at Friendly **
#73 to #71 - DjRicky
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
**DjRicky rolled a random image posted in comment #4927616 at My Little Pony fanfiction, backgrounds, songs, lyrics, and GIFs. ** you sir tell me wtf is going on what am i missing
User avatar #83 to #73 - genericnickname
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
Superman is not actually wearing a suit. His body is just painted to look like he is wearing a suit. So when someone calls for help, he effectively just ripped his chest open.
#85 to #83 - DjRicky
Reply -3 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
**DjRicky rolled a random image posted in comment #242 at Beating a dead horse ** oh ok i get it not really that funny but cool cool
User avatar #86 to #70 - xXLawlietXx
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
He's implying that he painted Superman's suit on his body, so that when he would rip open the suits to get to his costume, he was actually ripping through his own body.
#87 to #86 - DjRicky
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(07/02/2013) [-]
**DjRicky rolled a random image posted in comment #8 at What Stealth is to Deadpool ** thankyou sir for telling me that but someone else told me this already but thank you for being nice and telling me
**DjRicky rolled a random image posted in comment #8 at What Stealth is to Deadpool ** thankyou sir for telling me that but someone else told me this already but thank you for being nice and telling me