You. . Do you ever wonder about how an author would describe you in a novel? Not only your appearance but the way you talk and laugh and hold yourself and all t


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#36 - walmartysghost **User deleted account** (07/01/2013) [-]
"Masterbating incarnate, every night he spent wanking away. His hand's path in life was not the one it had expected, but still it performed with gusto. Like a magnificent violinist trying to tune a flute, it worked away, methodically, furiously, continuously. It beat on and on, the eternal metronome: fap...fap....fap.."
#90 to #36 - anon (07/01/2013) [-]
Wank WANK wank W A N K H E R --loligag gaga
#135 to #36 - rickmac (07/01/2013) [-]
That was damn beautiful.
User avatar #137 to #36 - melwach (07/01/2013) [-]
I think I want a fapping metronome now.
So I can explore the perfect rythm and beatoffs-per-minute.
#168 to #137 - walmartysghost **User deleted account** (07/01/2013) [-]
Do it with your bros and have symphony of semen and shame
#174 to #36 - anon (07/01/2013) [-]
sounds like intense third person sexting.. you know how that **** gets
#40 to #36 - huffe ONLINE (07/01/2013) [-]
like a violinist trying to tune a flute?! holy 			****		 i can not stop laughing
like a violinist trying to tune a flute?! holy **** i can not stop laughing
User avatar #38 to #2 - missrainbowdash (07/01/2013) [-]
and then missrainbowdash reflecting at her life store blankly at the sky with a listless gaze, wondering how she could have been so obnoxiously boring.
#46 to #38 - redwrench ONLINE (07/01/2013) [-]
And then the RedWrench sat at his computer, typing his own biography, contemplating why the hell he was doing this and the fact he should probably go to bed because it's two in the morning.
#176 to #46 - anon (07/01/2013) [-]
And then there's an anon that wonders about his own existance.
#23 to #2 - anon (07/01/2013) [-]
Read that a lot differently... I think they're staring at a giant asshole.
#4 - kietzu (06/30/2013) [-]
"There he goes again. Smashing the dreams of his so called 'Apprentice' whilst maintaining nothing but an evil grin on his face. He slowly takes off his headset after killing the seemingly constant feed of VGMs streaming from various taps of his browser.
Leaning back, closing his eyes and running his right hand through his hair, he goes: Why are you reading this?"
#8 - defacedcreeper (07/01/2013) [-]
Every social group, even his has this one friend. The stereotypical fat **** , who's dumb as a pail as rocks and dimmer than the light at the end of a vagina.
User avatar #52 to #8 - hazardpay (07/01/2013) [-]
that describes my friend perfectly, but you forget "and couldnt pick out what a vagina looks like from a pile of rocks"
User avatar #73 to #8 - thedippestofshits ONLINE (07/01/2013) [-]
I vaguely get what you're trying to say, but that sentence makes no sense.
#150 to #8 - awesomanium (07/01/2013) [-]
If you're reading this and suddenly think, "None of my friends are like this...", I've got bad news for you...
#170 to #150 - anon (07/01/2013) [-]
You mean...... Its is me?
#20 to #8 - darthsanti (07/01/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#24 - DjRicky (07/01/2013) [-]
**DjRicky rolled a random image posted in comment #186 at bieber ** This guy!
User avatar #27 to #24 - doodogger (07/01/2013) [-]
Don't give him a jawline, faggot.
#29 to #27 - DjRicky (07/01/2013) [-]
**DjRicky rolled a random image posted in comment #168 at Weird Thing ** the **** you gonna do about it faggot
User avatar #33 to #29 - mymiddleleg [OP](07/01/2013) [-]
I used to think it was called duck tape up until a couple of years ago, i felt like an idiot when i found out i been saying it wrong
#34 to #33 - DjRicky (07/01/2013) [-]
**DjRicky rolled a random image posted in comment #3923803 at MMORPG ITEM COLLECTIVE EXPERIENCE ** you sir are sad
#58 to #34 - andthentheyfucked **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #163 to #58 - DjRicky (07/01/2013) [-]
#164 to #163 - DjRicky (07/01/2013) [-]
**DjRicky rolled a random image posted in comment #2675338 at Friendly **
#45 to #34 - redwrench has deleted their comment [-]
#136 to #24 - sweateagle (07/01/2013) [-]
That's a nice roll.
User avatar #11 - Nihatclodra (07/01/2013) [-]
"He's a Lazy **** with more luck than the Devil on Monday."

Don't ask me what it means, the Trapped Soul of an Author in my head came up with it.
#92 to #11 - anon (07/01/2013) [-]
We WUN DURR if he received the messaage from the Suns?? Dumm de fumm dummm -- DUMMMM- coincidence jump, NOT$$$$$$$
User avatar #16 to #11 - InglushMayjur (07/01/2013) [-]
Can I steal that phrase from you?
User avatar #26 to #16 - Nihatclodra (07/01/2013) [-]
Sure, go ahead.
User avatar #89 - arkytior (07/01/2013) [-]
"Shifting her legs and putting all the hair to one side, she decides to comment on a post. It's been a long time since she dared to write something about herself. Mostly she just scrolls through the section, hoping to find a good reaction picture to save it into yet another folder where it will catch cyber dust. Sometimes she wonders why she is saving them because she doesn't dare to comment, to express her opinion. What if she's wrong? She shakes her head, trying to drive out the dark thoughts. As she clicks the button, she moves her left hand to support her head. Going to the next content her mind comes up with some depressing thoughts. You are just another anon. Why would you bother to say anything, nobody's going to read it anyway. Stop talking about yourself and go study. You wanted to have a degree before 30 so get working. And get a boyfriend, for God's sake! She shakes her head again and closes all tabs except for Youtube. She types in a name, clicks the second video and immerses into the hour long album, turning the world and her thoughts off."
User avatar #151 to #89 - ninjamyles **User deleted account** (07/01/2013) [-]
reading through Arkytior's comment, a feeling crept through the boys body, a feeling he had thought he'd long since killed. Each word hitting to close home for comfort, the feeling of inadequacy and loneliness rock his body. cramming his eyes shut again he kills these emotions knowing full well they serve him no good.
he finds that he want's to help, write words of encouragement, vainly hopping to make another happy. but as he thinks what to write his mind goes blank, he desperately wants to help this stranger. but he can't find any words to use, he knows full well that their is nothing he can realistically do but he refuses to sit and do nothing while another suffers and their might be a chance to help her.

But still nothing that could help comes to mind, just stupid jokes videos and songs. resting his head on his bent knee he blows out a breath of air, he settles on just typing out a stupid and needlessly long comment rambling on about nothing, hopping that just a simple conversation would help.
#57 - arthurmitchell (07/01/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#59 to #57 - arthurmitchell (07/01/2013) [-]
That or
That or
#63 to #59 - ghostlytaco **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#65 to #64 - ghostlytaco **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#119 - crimzonsoulreaper (07/01/2013) [-]
**crimzonsoulreaper rolled a random comment #2828037 posted by themanwithnoplan at Friendly ** :
How I'd be described.
**crimzonsoulreaper rolled a random comment #2828037 posted by themanwithnoplan at Friendly ** :

How I'd be described.
#32 - Yojimbo (07/01/2013) [-]
"Sitting haunched over his keyboard, fingers furiously typing, he is the epitome of concentration. Sweaty from the work out his arms were getting, he briefly mused at how he almost didn't look "cuddly" if he puffed his chest out. Running a cheeto covered finger through his beard that he was totally sure would grow higher up on his face in a day or two, the classy stranger cruised through aisles after online aisles of fedoras that he was sure would combo with his transition glasses to give him +1 Gentlemanness. Pulling up his camoflauge shorts that were giving him a wedgie, he pondered how he could possibly display his appreciation of My Little Pony on Facebook anymore than he was already to his classmates."

-To read more, please purchase the full edition at
#61 to #32 - yeahhbuddyy (07/01/2013) [-]
Lmao make more, that was ****** hilarious. "The adventures of the lonely neckbeard"
#93 to #32 - anon (07/01/2013) [-]
My nephew Who noses the truth/ missed u/ yup/ hear they wsnt to set me up?
User avatar #124 - warlockrichard ONLINE (07/01/2013) [-]
**warlockrichard rolled a random comment #2819326 posted by mrspensy at Friendly ** :
Call me hiroshima, 'cause its gonna get hot under those blankets.
User avatar #125 to #124 - mrspensy (07/01/2013) [-]
My best pick-up line, yet.
#67 - anon (07/01/2013) [-]
he slowly strokes his meaty forefinger and thumb along his 2 inch erect penis as he stares at the cock covered computer screen with an avaricious gave, then lets a **** tainted fart escape his 400 pound mass of sweaty flesh

#35 - derricktwo (07/01/2013) [-]
"And then there's this asshole."
#1 - tweetieh (06/30/2013) [-]
aaaand that was the first time i laughed on FJ tonight....
User avatar #5 to #1 - warbob ONLINE (06/30/2013) [-]
brought to you by
User avatar #117 - lookatmyhouseofwax ONLINE (07/01/2013) [-]
**lookatmyhouseofwax rolled a random comment #37 posted by friedgreenpomatoes at Element fun. ** :
Fluorine would be the total slut, actually, since it'll bond with anything.

Even noble gases. And they don't like it.
#83 - shortbusterrorist **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#157 - anon (07/01/2013) [-]
He held down the shift key before beginning to type, trying to think of what to say. He adjusted his winter blanket and scratched himself in various places before continuing. The sound of his space bar resonated in the room, but there was nobody there to hear it. He was alone, with only his thoughts and the soft dripping of rain outside to accompany his solitude. He was almost done typing his comment, but he felt like there was more to say. But his remaining character count was dwindling at an alarming pace, and he knew he had to close up soon. He stared idly at his message, reviewing it for any errors or irregularities. Finding that there were none, he put his cursor over the "add a comment" button, then hesitated. What if he had made some kind of mistake that would embarrass him? Maybe nobody would understand the meaning of his sentences. Would he be thumbed down into oblivion?
Then he smiled. He said two monumental words that would change his world mentality for eternity.
" **** it."
#130 - anon (07/01/2013) [-]
It was the time in the afternoon where the warmth of the day slow ebbed into the slow pastoral coolness of the night. He sat alone in the house undisturbed by friend or family. But this was not a case of loneliness but rather self sort solitude. As the saying went he was never less alone than when by himself. He thought to himself solitude was really the pabulum of the mind as he slipped into the online world. Like any other man he seeks to escape himself in myth, as others do so by the means of drugs, alcohol, or lies. Unable to withdraw into himself, he disguises himself. Lies and inaccuracy give him a few moments of comfort. A small smile dances across his lips as he clicks the button ‘post as anonymous’ Like ripples in a pond the smile quickly fades leaving no trace. He begins to type... In these few sparse moments he is able to be himself. Above all he's able to, let who he is, what he is, what he believes, shine through every sentence that he types, every piece he finishes.
#131 to #130 - anon (07/01/2013) [-]
A small pain fills his chest as he thinks about his friends an how he cannot show this part of himself to anyone he knows. Half the pleasure of solitude comes from having with us some friend to whom we can say how sweet solitude is. He thought to himself, what the hell! A lie hides the truth. A story tries to find it. Wholesome seclusion the nurse of sense, he decided to take the apple of the day to keep said doctor away and texted a friend on his iphone; Deciding to tell the story of who he really was.
#105 - triggathepirate (07/01/2013) [-]
"Again on this 			*****		 on this damn site wasting his life away. It's been about ten days into the season and he still hasn't begun looking for a job, he really ought to put some goddamn pants on, this heat is no excuse he thought. As he ran his hand through his wiry hair he decided upon screwing around on steam instead. "
"Again on this ***** on this damn site wasting his life away. It's been about ten days into the season and he still hasn't begun looking for a job, he really ought to put some goddamn pants on, this heat is no excuse he thought. As he ran his hand through his wiry hair he decided upon screwing around on steam instead. "
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