tip. . I' m w. waiter and this is the best tip his ever g:: ten__ . - qae. I'm a waiter and this is the best tip I've ever gottentwenty
x
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Comments(150):

[ 150 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#8 - BIGSEXYISBACKAGAIN (06/26/2013) [-]
I came across this one at work about a year ago.
#130 to #8 - animedudej ONLINE (06/27/2013) [-]
**animedudej rolled a random image posted in comment #3948420 at MMORPG ITEM COLLECTIVE EXPERIENCE ** mfw i have one dollar from when i visited 'MURICA
User avatar #10 to #8 - osimonmagus (06/26/2013) [-]
Drinking my fathers beer was the worst thing I could have possibly done. Really, I could have killed my mom and he still wouldn't have been as pissed as the time me and my friends stole his beer.
I'm still a little black and blue and that was six years ago
User avatar #13 to #10 - sanguinesolitude ONLINE (06/27/2013) [-]
the talk with my dad went differently. he said "If you drink my beer, i will be angry and we will have some strong words. But if you drink my scotch, i will ******* kill you."
#17 to #13 - linktheherooftime (06/27/2013) [-]
You don't **** with a man's scotch.
User avatar #18 to #17 - sanguinesolitude ONLINE (06/27/2013) [-]
and i never did. Of course because of this later he would often pour me a glass. Good times.
User avatar #5 - iamnotstevenhooper ONLINE (06/26/2013) [-]
I'm a waiter and this is the best tip I've ever gottentwenty
#143 to #5 - witzelsucht (06/27/2013) [-]
too clever
too clever
#7 to #5 - ironstrike (06/26/2013) [-]
I C wut you did thar.

taek mai thumb.
0
#131 to #5 - fivewordminimum **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#6 to #5 - anon (06/26/2013) [-]
wut
#122 to #5 - anon (06/27/2013) [-]
I don't get it
#40 to #5 - anon (06/27/2013) [-]
Why don't i get it? Am i missing something? PLEASE HELP ME!!!!! AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#46 to #40 - anon (06/27/2013) [-]
Wait nevermind....I got it! HA!
#146 to #46 - anon (06/27/2013) [-]
Wait, never mind i thought i did, I didn't.
#125 to #5 - pimpinpenguin (06/27/2013) [-]
my face when I still don't get it
User avatar #129 to #125 - cazabrow (06/27/2013) [-]
gotten has the word "ten" in it, he crossed it out and put twenty just like the guy who left the tip did.
User avatar #147 to #129 - pimpinpenguin (06/27/2013) [-]
oh, i guess i just didn't find it as funny as everybody else
User avatar #14 to #5 - sanguinesolitude ONLINE (06/27/2013) [-]
+1 for clever
User avatar #121 to #42 - coasterfreak (06/27/2013) [-]
ill take 10 of them please
#137 to #121 - trevanman (06/27/2013) [-]
ALL OF THESE! 10 BILLY MAYS BILLS FOR JUST 19,95.
BUT ORDER NOW AND I'LL THROW IN AN EXTRA DOZEN.
THAT'S RIGHT! BUY 10 NOW, GET AN ADDITIONAL 12 FOR FREE!
BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE...
#28 - canadianguyeh (06/27/2013) [-]
Atleast you got tips.
User avatar #24 - mrgoodlove (06/27/2013) [-]
I hope it was worth the... wait
#39 to #32 - rabbitturd (06/27/2013) [-]
I'm waiting to see after those several bad puns
#59 to #39 - huntergriff ONLINE (06/27/2013) [-]
Well, the wait is over.
#21 - jugularj (06/27/2013) [-]
I was recently tipped a dollar bill that had a **** ton of glitter on it. I can only assume that it was shoved up some stripper's ass. And Im not sure how I should feel about it.
User avatar #60 to #21 - huntergriff ONLINE (06/27/2013) [-]
roll it up and snort some cocaine out of it.
User avatar #22 to #21 - thatscrewedupkid (06/27/2013) [-]
tooth fairy money
#25 to #11 - anon (06/27/2013) [-]
I read this as BWANER, i'm stupid
#63 to #11 - rotaryking (06/27/2013) [-]
Kesha gave these out on one of her tours. Made me lol. She's a total nutcase
User avatar #128 to #33 - milthyfoustache (06/27/2013) [-]
Oh yeah write it on a one dollar bill you cheap hipster ass clown!!!!!!
User avatar #75 to #33 - jdsalenger (06/27/2013) [-]
It already has Novus Ordo Seculorum written on it.
#41 to #33 - anon (06/27/2013) [-]
Money isn't made of paper, it's more like cloth.
User avatar #145 to #41 - witzelsucht (06/27/2013) [-]
if you really want to do that

Bills are made of a special wood pulp, from different fibers including paper, cotton, silk, and linen. It makes the ink on the bill difficult to erase in case somebody wants to reprint them as hundreds or something.
#44 to #33 - SubjectThree (06/27/2013) [-]
I am a jumble of code and I control yours.
#57 to #33 - innerpartylove (06/27/2013) [-]
... this shouldn't be the way we live.
#64 - vlf (06/27/2013) [-]
Bitch Please...
User avatar #113 to #64 - strangesir (06/27/2013) [-]
... Who's that?
#148 to #113 - vlf (06/28/2013) [-]
Ben Bernanke, the Chairman of the Federal Reserve, the agency that makes our money.

He's printed around $2.4 trillion out of thin air since 2008, making the total amount of US dollars in existence $3.2 trillion. Hence my using him in this comment.
User avatar #149 to #148 - strangesir (06/28/2013) [-]
Thank you good sir for the info.
#38 - capnwetnipples (06/27/2013) [-]
This image has expired
#67 - ilikebuttsex (06/27/2013) [-]
I mean i guess it sorta makes sense, considering the value of a piece of paper is merely depicted by the numbers someone wrote on it, then surely someone else can come along and declare it worth $20 instead of $10 since the physical paper has no value in itself.

I wish we had stuck to exchanging precious metals and whatnot, this paper currency is ********
User avatar #77 to #67 - carneymaster (06/27/2013) [-]
Paper money used to be silver notes. you could take them to any bank and exchange them for silver. dollar for dollar. pound for pound. You get it, anyway. Now, they are federal reserve notes, they are not even worth anything unless the government says they are.
User avatar #78 to #77 - ilikebuttsex (06/27/2013) [-]
exactly, and what if your government fails and all "virtual value" of paper bills are lost. then everyone with money is left with a stack of paper with drawings on it.

I personally invest in gold, its always going to have value regardless of bitchy governments
User avatar #80 to #78 - carneymaster (06/27/2013) [-]
The south had this exact problem with confederate money. And the problem with gold is, The government can confiscate all gold everywhere. Its a real law. The gold hedges and stuff count on the government being to scared to do something that drastic though, and i would imagine they are right.
User avatar #88 to #80 - ilikebuttsex (06/27/2013) [-]
I live in straya so i dunno laws in murica
User avatar #105 to #67 - tehpwnz (06/27/2013) [-]
yea man, it would be so much more convenient to lug around sacks of coins everywhere
User avatar #107 to #67 - godhatesusall (06/27/2013) [-]
Fiat money.
User avatar #116 to #67 - rescueryan (06/27/2013) [-]
Well then banks and such would be invalid since electronic currency is the same sort of thing. In that case say goodbye to alot of technology like online shopping etc
User avatar #140 to #67 - fosforgasxiii (06/27/2013) [-]
That worked in a feudal economy in the middle ages, but it wouldn't work in a modern economy. What if a company wants to invest, say $50 million in a project? Do they need to bring a train full of gold? How should a government be able to collect billions of tax money in a country as big as the US? How do you pay a vending machine? Does every store now needs a saw to be able to give change? What about online buying/banking?
And last but not least, metal is heavy, do you want to cary pounds of silver and gold with you everytime you go shopping?
User avatar #70 to #67 - rhiaanor (06/27/2013) [-]
"You are getting paid in 4 pounds of gold, 7 ounces of iron and 1 1/2 ounce of bronze for this week's salary." Yeah because you know, it would be so easy to do things like that. "Here jimmy you get 1/2 ounce of iron for washing the dishes" No.
User avatar #71 to #70 - ilikebuttsex (06/27/2013) [-]
calm yer tits there mate, I wasnt being literal, and anyhow, if civilization did stick to exchanging metals, surely there would be a much advanced method of doing so other than "here take this hunk of metal".. -.-
User avatar #79 to #71 - alhemicar (06/27/2013) [-]
Like, maybe giving you a tiny piece of paper that weights almost nothing???
User avatar #83 to #79 - ilikebuttsex (06/27/2013) [-]
your not putting it into perspective, if we did still use metals as a means of exchange, you would not be living your life as it is now, with wallets and whatnot. infact your house would not even look the same, just off the top of my head i could think of a system where everyones house had an underground or backyard 'safe' where precious items are kept, and when out buying something you make some sort of contract agreement, then at the end of the week or month, a collector comes by and collects the amount you owe during that period. that probably isnt the most efficient but just one way. it would still be better to have soemthing of real value rather than virtual value.
User avatar #85 to #83 - alhemicar (06/27/2013) [-]
Oh I certainly am putting it into perspective. But excuse me for failing to realize why the **** that is anything better than using virtual value?
User avatar #87 to #85 - ilikebuttsex (06/27/2013) [-]
you really dont know what the benifit of having something with REAL SOLID VALUE that isnt affected by governments and control as opposed to VIRTUAL VALUE DICTATED BY A FEW PEOPLE THAT HAS THE RISK OF LOSING IT ALL? really? aside from the convenience of carrying it in your pocket, theres no other real benifit to bank notes
User avatar #108 to #87 - tehpwnz (06/27/2013) [-]
you do realize that nothing in the universe has real solid value right? things are valuable because people have decided they are (usually because they are pretty looking, but not necessarily)
User avatar #109 to #108 - ilikebuttsex (06/27/2013) [-]
well we go by the common argument that the rarer something is the more value it has.. according to your logic then nothing in the universe has any sort of value both physically and mentally.
User avatar #89 to #87 - alhemicar (06/27/2013) [-]
Uh, oh, you do realize metal curencies would still be recognized in only one country? It's the ******* same.
User avatar #93 to #89 - ilikebuttsex (06/27/2013) [-]
uhh no not really, it wouldnt be a metal "currency" the solid value of the item, be it gold, silver or copper, would have a value in every country regardless, because it isnt depicted by government
#94 to #93 - alhemicar (06/27/2013) [-]
Except that it would have the nation's coat of arms on it : P
User avatar #96 to #94 - ilikebuttsex (06/27/2013) [-]
lel, doesnt change the value of the physical item just because of printings on it. i really dont think you get the idea do you?
User avatar #99 to #96 - alhemicar (06/27/2013) [-]
You do understand it wouldn't keep it's own value? You still have coins but 1 penny =/= 1 pfenning.

What you are talking about exists today too, it's called hard currency.
User avatar #101 to #99 - ilikebuttsex (06/27/2013) [-]
well ofcourse it wouldnt keep its exact value in one country the same as another, exchange rates would still apply, but what my main point im trying to argue is that no matter what you would have something with real value.
User avatar #102 to #101 - alhemicar (06/27/2013) [-]
True, but it's actual value would mostly be far smaller than it's currencial value (again because of bitchy goverments).
User avatar #103 to #102 - ilikebuttsex (06/27/2013) [-]
hah yep, there is no real solution to it, but theres gotta be better ways than merely having pieces of paper with imaginary value you know what i mean
User avatar #81 to #79 - ilikebuttsex (06/27/2013) [-]
no.. stop trying faggot..
User avatar #82 to #81 - alhemicar (06/27/2013) [-]
trying =/= succeeding
#106 to #71 - tehpwnz (06/27/2013) [-]
you're right we progressed such a long way since we exchanged pieces of metal for things
User avatar #86 to #67 - alarmdemon (06/27/2013) [-]
well before 1933 money was redeemable in gold.
User avatar #72 to #67 - Keoul (06/27/2013) [-]
To be fair lugging around precious metals would be a massive pain in the ass.
It's waaay heavier than paper money and it's worth are in "fixed" amounts.

Say you have a 500g piece of gold and you want to purchase something that costs 299g (let's be honest that 99 ******** would still happen) How would you split it and how would change work?

Both sides have it's benefits.
User avatar #73 to #72 - ilikebuttsex (06/27/2013) [-]
yeah ofcourse you wouldnt want to be carrying arounnd bags of metals, but in saying that over hundreds of years we would have surely come up with an efficient and easy method of trading.
User avatar #84 to #73 - Keoul (06/27/2013) [-]
How about credit cards?
Aside from all your finance being in held by an evil bank corporation type dealio it's pretty sweet, even moreso when they add more variety in the cards like debit or what have you.

User avatar #92 to #84 - ilikebuttsex (06/27/2013) [-]
i dont use credit cards, and dont know why people do either, its a ******* evil scam.
0
#104 to #92 - necroshiz **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #95 to #92 - Keoul (06/27/2013) [-]
To shop online for one.
And for actual credit cards not debit cards it's basically a mini-loan you can take that's often interest free for a few days, so as long as you're punctual interest doesn't hit you hard. It's pretty handy when you need something now but don't have the money for it like going for groceries and you forgot to withdraw from the bank that day.
User avatar #97 to #95 - ilikebuttsex (06/27/2013) [-]
yeah online shopping, i guess that would be one of the setbacks, obviously im not argueing that metal trading is master race with no flaws, i just personally think its better than some **** the government gives you
#135 to #72 - anon (06/27/2013) [-]
considering gold is worth about 10x as much as silver and silver is 10x as much as copper.....
It would be very easy to calculate. I say this and don't give you a straight answer because precious metals are measured in troy ounces, not grams.
User avatar #110 to #72 - dragonock (06/27/2013) [-]
bitcoin
User avatar #111 to #110 - Keoul (06/27/2013) [-]
I have no idea how the hell that works.
It perplexes me and I don't ever want to dabble in it.

Some junk about computers doing complicated calculations to generate each bitcoin and that's all I know about em.
User avatar #112 to #111 - dragonock (06/27/2013) [-]
yes but there is only a set amount generated and governments can't control it because of the algorithms and encryption, i think currenty 1 bitcoin is around 40$ I don't mess with it either because of the intense cpu required
User avatar #90 - birthdaybrony (06/27/2013) [-]
My friend likes to leave tip money in this complicated knot that is nearly impossible to unfold without ripping the bill. I'm not sure if he invented it or not but I wasn't able to find it online anywhere. If someone knows what it is and has a link or something I would be interested to find out how it's done. He won't tell me the secret.
#47 - triggathepirate (06/27/2013) [-]
Can't you get booked in a federal prison for 			****		 like this?
Can't you get booked in a federal prison for **** like this?
#48 to #47 - Spikeydeath (06/27/2013) [-]
defacing federal money
#49 to #48 - triggathepirate (06/27/2013) [-]
Aye that's why I said that.
Aye that's why I said that.
#50 to #49 - Spikeydeath (06/27/2013) [-]
Which is funny because if i was arrested for it i would be in for a long time for putting coins on train tracks
#52 to #51 - Spikeydeath (06/27/2013) [-]
Did you never do that as a kid? It makes them flat as ****
#53 to #52 - triggathepirate (06/27/2013) [-]
The confusion you gave me resulted in a laugh of which I tasted disembodied chlorine filled pool water in the back of my sinuses. And no.
I ain't flatten no damn coins on train tracks man. Where the hell do you live?
#55 to #53 - Spikeydeath (06/27/2013) [-]
The south of the united states
#56 to #55 - triggathepirate (06/27/2013) [-]
...Makes a bit more sense.
...Makes a bit more sense.
#58 to #56 - Spikeydeath (06/27/2013) [-]
Meh, I bet you havent cow tipped, played dodge train, or found it normal to see people riding horses in the road
#61 to #58 - triggathepirate (06/27/2013) [-]
Well, My best friend saved me from going god knows where one time. We played on train tracks by out park, aye. More or less on the moving trains, but that mother 			******		 picked up speed and he jumped off and I started freaking out as he shrank in the distance he told me to bail before he got out of earshot though, 			******		 up my leg pretty bad on the roll.   
MFW I realized I had to jump from a speeding train
Well, My best friend saved me from going god knows where one time. We played on train tracks by out park, aye. More or less on the moving trains, but that mother ****** picked up speed and he jumped off and I started freaking out as he shrank in the distance he told me to bail before he got out of earshot though, ****** up my leg pretty bad on the roll.
MFW I realized I had to jump from a speeding train
#136 to #61 - anon (06/27/2013) [-]
Judging from this entire thread, I sure can say that you are a massive douchebag, pretentious, gay, small man syndrome suffering little bitch.

Oh you'll probably reply with something along the lines of "oh stfu anon u dont know me #deepthinker4life"
Or now that I've pointed out you'll do this, You'll do it in a mocking way. Either way you reply, you'll still end up looking autistic.

Get a life, man
#100 to #61 - Spikeydeath (06/27/2013) [-]
Gotta roll man, back first
User avatar #76 to #48 - nsali (06/27/2013) [-]
technically you can, but who would actually take the time to run a trial on that, now if you tried spending it then you may have issues
#1 - anon (06/26/2013) [-]
Thats something my husband would do to save $$$ / he thinks he's funny (wink)
#31 to #1 - jimjimmerson (06/27/2013) [-]
Huur Durr, "we save money by writing bigger dollar amounts than the bill is worth" Hurr Durr. That's how numbers work.



Are you from Texas or something?
User avatar #34 to #1 - futurestas (06/27/2013) [-]
You're worse on the internet than my grandmother
#74 to #1 - wallbuilder (06/27/2013) [-]
Offence: Light humour. Typing wink in the context of your action at the end of a sentence.
Sentence: Death.

Is that how we roll? Oh wait, she's a female too? LET THE WITCH BUUURRRRN!
Seriously. Grow up lads.
#35 to #1 - thenoodleking **User deleted account** (06/27/2013) [-]
I was surprised with how rude the people were towards your comment so I gave you a thumb.
User avatar #27 to #1 - theist (06/27/2013) [-]
Wow FJ, really? Is this how we treat people that freely just want to enjoy our site? With endless red thumbs? All she did was post a comment, that's it.

My God...
#37 to #27 - anon (06/27/2013) [-]
yes
#54 to #27 - anon (06/27/2013) [-]
They're just thumbs, that's it.
#43 to #27 - anon (06/27/2013) [-]
And you wonder why most of us don't have friends and more desire a girlfriend but can't get any.
User avatar #69 to #27 - rhiaanor (06/27/2013) [-]
Is this how we treat people that dislike comments? All they want to do is have the freedom to dislike something and not be judged.

My god...
#29 to #1 - jimjimmerson (06/27/2013) [-]
Please don't write a book.
#16 to #1 - rakaka ONLINE (06/27/2013) [-]
fj isn't really a place for soccer moms mmkaay
#19 to #1 - foelkera (06/27/2013) [-]
Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells."
#2 to #1 - stubborndrek (06/26/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #65 to #2 - nsfwbrowserv (06/27/2013) [-]
WE MUST MAKE THE THUMB UP RATIO EVEN WITH THE THUMB DOWN RATIO.
#66 to #65 - anon (06/27/2013) [-]
theres not two separate ratios you stupid cunt. its a thumb up to thumb down ratio. ******* retard
User avatar #68 to #66 - nsfwbrowserv (06/27/2013) [-]
Oh sorry, I see I have to explain this to you in a very long statement, so that you can understand fully.

Let's say stubborndrek gets 132 positive thumbs, while ms anonymous gets 130 negative thumbs.

I think it would be pretty cool if we could have the ratio of stubborndrek's positive(P) thumbs and anonymous's negative(N) thumbs even, so that it would be 132(P):132(N)

Thus creating a perfect balance of thumbs.
#98 to #68 - likeabox (06/27/2013) [-]
I made an balanced 160!
#114 to #65 - anon (06/27/2013) [-]
I did it
#91 - DmanD (06/27/2013) [-]
Ill give you a good tip... TIP OF MY DICK!
#124 to #91 - anon (06/27/2013) [-]
it was pretty funny, in a moronic way
#133 to #117 - anon (06/27/2013) [-]
u mad
#132 to #118 - anon (06/27/2013) [-]
u mad
#134 to #132 - trevanman (06/27/2013) [-]
he mad
User avatar #3 - iamblastoise (06/26/2013) [-]
Pretty sure no-one would take that bill since it's defaced currency.
User avatar #62 to #3 - tigersstripes (06/27/2013) [-]
Nah, people write on money all the time and its still in circulation. Its just how we role here
User avatar #9 to #3 - BIGSEXYISBACKAGAIN (06/26/2013) [-]
You're probably right. They should give it to me then. I'll safeguard it.
User avatar #15 to #9 - spaceshark (06/27/2013) [-]

HA
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#142 - witzelsucht has deleted their comment [-]
#119 - mrsodasexy ONLINE (06/27/2013) [-]
This and a $20 bill are practically worth the same thing.

Fiat money
#115 - rskamaka (06/27/2013) [-]
**rskamaka rolled a random image posted in comment #391439 at Ponyville **   
   
Legitness all up in here!
**rskamaka rolled a random image posted in comment #391439 at Ponyville **

Legitness all up in here!
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