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Submitted: 06/25/2013
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User avatar #9 - stimtheone ONLINE (06/26/2013) [-]
Now just make one for men so we know where we went wrong.
#111 to #9 - anon (06/26/2013) [-]
I approve of this.
#155 to #9 - anon (06/26/2013) [-]
User avatar #351 to #9 - JENNAY (06/26/2013) [-]
Trying to make all the porn they've watched a reality is a big one. Sex doesn't happen like that so you can't have some poor person try to live up to those standards

That's really about all I can think of

Oh, saying you need a bigger condom because the one you're wearing is too tight. Look at pictures of how much those stretch and try saying that again with a straight face. It's less of a mistake and more of a mood killer because they're just thinking "oh..."
#419 to #351 - ironsoul (07/15/2013) [-]
It isn't so much that I can't stuff my penis into it, it's more that it cuts my circulation off and makes it hard to finish.
#95 to #9 - moechler (06/26/2013) [-]
It would propably take a lot of pressure from me before having my first time...
User avatar #138 to #95 - cakefaceify (06/26/2013) [-]
I wouldn't worry too much about it or look for tips anywhere, believe it or not, being natural and going with instincts will get you pretty far.
User avatar #287 to #9 - brytonn (06/26/2013) [-]
So it'll be 50 things for women to do and about 4,000 things for men to do.
#3 - anon (06/26/2013) [-]
I hate any girl touching around my **** pipe. That includes the cheeks! And, I hate girls that touch my balls. Just not a selling point for me. You leave my Marmite motorway and my Christmas ornaments alone!
#13 to #3 - anon (06/26/2013) [-]
Feels ****** amazing when my girl plays with my balls while i **** her, or when she licks them when she gives me a blowjob.
#393 to #3 - maxbeejax (06/26/2013) [-]
MFW thath Comment
MFW thath Comment
User avatar #105 to #3 - thedarkestrogue (06/26/2013) [-]
oh god i can't stop laughing at marmite motorway.
#48 to #3 - anon (06/26/2013) [-]
gonna post as anon since I'll get thumbed down for that but, well I'm shielded

I like it when girls play with my other parts and I've had quite a lot of gay sex in my life to not be all that clingy to " that hole is sacred " or " that makes me less of a man " ideology xD hell, I'd **** anything heavier than a goat but lighter than my refrigerator
#136 to #3 - lolzordz ONLINE (06/26/2013) [-]
marmite motorway
#115 to #3 - optimussum (06/26/2013) [-]
******* Marmite motorway
User avatar #19 - maidenmk (06/26/2013) [-]
this is clearly written more for male readers than it is for female.
User avatar #373 to #19 - JENNAY (06/26/2013) [-]
Yeah I don't think most female readers would appreciate the whole it's-totally-ok-for-your-man-to-push-your-head-on-his-dick-and-choke-you thing

Always good to get some tips for those who read too much Cosmo (that **** is so out of wack)
#139 - homicidalherpes (06/26/2013) [-]
What? I can agree with most of this, but if somebody isn't comfortable with being called a dirty slut during sex, you don't just tell them to get over it. Both should be on the same level, different people have different kinks.
User avatar #151 to #139 - mrwightproductions (06/26/2013) [-]
That one was the only one I had direct objections with as well.
#184 to #139 - anon (06/26/2013) [-]
I agree. Some of these were quite helpful but that's the only one I really thought was dumb. You can call your partner some other sexy things besides "whore" or "slut"... Being called a dirty slut would totally kill my mood, even if he meant it as a compliment.
#193 to #184 - anon (06/26/2013) [-]
Also, the threesome one ticked me off a little too. I would never ask for a threesome with another guy, so I would hope he wouldn't ask for one either. But it really depends on the couple. I'm not a one-night-stand or fling kind of girl. I need the relationship, because I know myself well enough to know that I will get emotionally attached to whoever I sleep with. So, I don't do casual sex.
User avatar #200 to #193 - homicidalherpes (06/26/2013) [-]
Hmm, no, asking for a threesome isn't a problem in my opinion. If he were to get mad because the answer was "no," then I would have an issue. You can't expect a guy to read your mind and you shouldn't get mad if he offers an idea.
#224 to #200 - bulimicbbq (06/26/2013) [-]
Logic? Woman? What?
#140 - nextgenmidgett (06/26/2013) [-]
stop posting things that will never be of any use to me.
stop posting things that will never be of any use to me.
#348 to #140 - anon (06/26/2013) [-]
User avatar #82 - shaybahm (06/26/2013) [-]
Maybe my fiance and I are weird, but we always cuddle and talk after sex. We actually discuss it what was good, what needed work, what we liked, etc. Its lead to us always having awesome sex. But like I said, maybe we're just weird.
#88 to #82 - chudboy ONLINE (06/26/2013) [-]
That just seems robotic. A massive analysis. Yeah its good to better yourself in bed, but I'll admit it's a little weird haha
User avatar #90 to #88 - shaybahm (06/26/2013) [-]
I mean, its not that cut and dry. I realize reading it that it sounds almost mechanical lol
#91 to #90 - chudboy ONLINE (06/26/2013) [-]
haha yes it did.
#126 to #82 - anon (06/26/2013) [-]
If that is what works for you, there's nothing wrong with that
Each couple prefer different things when it comes to sex, so I guess that can also include afterwards.
#177 to #82 - anon (06/26/2013) [-]
What are you talking about mechanical?

This is perfect. Next time you both do what eachother loves and not what you hate. "Lead to always having awesome sex"

User avatar #355 to #82 - JENNAY (06/26/2013) [-]
In my experience, all of those are just some of the best things to keep your sex life active, interesting, and fun for both parties

I had a friend who got dumped by a girl because she thought he was gay because he liked to cuddle after sex. Whatisthis Idon'teven
#2 - anon (06/25/2013) [-]
Why wouldn't you tell her what shes doing wrong instead of making a comp out of it? She probably has no clue
User avatar #65 to #2 - magicalsteve (06/26/2013) [-]
Make the comp, show it too her, have hot, crazy, successful sex with her
User avatar #39 - PedoBearsAcomin (06/26/2013) [-]
"pay attention to the clues he is giving you"
"you know what gets you off, tell him"
Seems a bit unfair haha
#410 to #39 - anon (06/27/2013) [-]
it's from 4chan
it's basically made to piss feminists off
User avatar #42 to #39 - sketchE (06/26/2013) [-]
yeah but were simple
User avatar #107 to #39 - kamusioso (06/26/2013) [-]
It means, that when we have sex, we both should tell each other what we like, and pay attention to what the other person likes
User avatar #78 to #39 - carnagejc (06/26/2013) [-]
Yeah there is definitely a little one-sidedness in it. But there are a fair few useful comments.
User avatar #296 - ifuckinghatethis (06/26/2013) [-]
If a lady lets you put your dick in her the least you can do is cuddle her afterwards..
#241 - anon (06/26/2013) [-]
This is ******** . If I want romantic sex and cuddling or don't want to be called slut or whore in bed I should just get over it? I have the right to a fulfilling sex life the same as any man. If what I like doesn't match what you like then we should find other partners who share our views on sex instead of bullying them into doing what you want. Neither should have to sacrifice or suck it up.
User avatar #244 to #241 - playcolt (06/26/2013) [-]
Something tells me you're a lonely person
User avatar #291 to #244 - veiledtruth (06/26/2013) [-]
What it should tell you is that I have an enjoyable sex life with a partner who shares my kinks and neither of us feel unsatisfied or uncomfortable doing things we don't like.
User avatar #304 to #291 - playcolt (06/26/2013) [-]
A relationship is lucky if you find someone that perfectly fits you and you never have to give something up, change, or "suck it up" to avoid fights.

But we aren't all that lucky, I'm glad if you found someone that is perfect for you, but most relationships won't be like that.

I'm sorry if I offended, was mere trying to jest, I apologize, and wish you good luck in your relationship.
User avatar #253 to #241 - vatra (06/26/2013) [-]
Yeah, those ones were kind of dumb, if she gets turned off by dirty talk, why is she going to continue?
#169 - anon (06/26/2013) [-]
Most of this came across as really rude. 'Stop being a sissy.' 'Go back to Junior High.' 'I know this is shocking, but...' 'I suggest you get some knee pads.'

While a lot of these are valid points, I would like to see a guy read this to his girlfriend and see how well it works.
#298 to #169 - kez (06/26/2013) [-]
Stop being a little bitch
#303 - anon (06/26/2013) [-]
Not gonna lie, I ******* hate feminists but Jesus this is kinda asking a lot lol
#104 - jinapayne (06/26/2013) [-]
Cosmo Tip #2693: Tickle his prostate with an egg beater to ensure massive pleasure
User avatar #112 to #104 - trolljunkusa (06/26/2013) [-]
Cosmo tip #5028758932

Insert an ethernet cable into his urethra and connect him to a router so that you can browse facebook while in mid sex
#4 - anon (06/26/2013) [-]
I think this is made more for flings instead of long term relationships, `cuz 38 ******* pissed me off. But what do I know I'm just a ******* anon.
#15 to #4 - anon (06/26/2013) [-]
this is a guide of problems and solutions for sex, not relationships. these problems are still valid no matter what you consider your partner to be to you.
#135 to #4 - anon (06/26/2013) [-]
I agree. Some of these really pissed me off. I've been married to my wife for 10 years, there's no way I would treat her so callously. Some of these are spot on though .
User avatar #12 to #4 - lolollo (06/26/2013) [-]
I think it's more the "throw a bitchfit" part than it is the "he asked for one" part. Lok at it this way, you have two unbelievably hot guys, let's say Channing Tatum and Ryan Gostling, having their way with you. Amazing idea, isn't it? Every guy has their equivalent. If you ask if he has any fantasies, it's going to come up. It doesn't mean you have to say yes, just don't freak the **** out when it does. You have your perfect sex scenarios, and so do we, and it never hurts to try and shoot for it...

...well unless YOU make it hurt...

but that's all you...
#321 - panacea has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #369 to #321 - sanguinesolitude (06/26/2013) [-]
possibly depends on the dude. no homo. Also depends on the relationship. I dont really want another guy banging my girlfriend. But most friends i've had who had threesomes while in a relationship didnt involve the guy actually having sex with the 2nd girl.
User avatar #164 - ferrettamer (06/26/2013) [-]
Well, why should women have to deal with their nails if we can give them bruises? Seriously, seems a bit hypocritical
#334 - Sinless (06/26/2013) [-]
I actually like cuddling after sex
I actually like cuddling after sex
#195 - potatos ONLINE (06/26/2013) [-]
So a giggle and a "no" from a girl is an invitation (even though she just said NO) to put it in her pooper, but girls are not allowed to INSERT ANYTHING in a guy if he has not stated beforehand that he likes it?
Seems fair!
#207 to #195 - willindor has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #212 to #207 - potatos ONLINE (06/26/2013) [-]
First of all:
If you have never gotten anything in your ass, it's gonna hurt regardless of gender. Seriously, the man's asshole is not tighter in any way in it's original state. It hurts like hell for both men and women to get something forced up their assholes.
Men have their g-spot in the ass, since you can reach their prostate from there. A lot of men experience MUCH pleasure once the hurtful part is over and the stretching of the anus is done. Which should mean that they would enjoy getting "poked in the ass" much more.

All men and women are however different from eachother, and everyone likes different things.
A no will always mean "no", and you should always make sure that your partner is ok whit that you are about to do.
And this has nothing to do with gender, it's just common goddamned sense.
#214 to #212 - willindor has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #219 to #207 - scoopus (06/26/2013) [-]
shut up.
User avatar #302 to #195 - heartlessrobot (06/26/2013) [-]
The giggling makes it seem like she's not being serious. A "no" with a straight face avoids any form of miscommunication.
User avatar #226 - drastronomy ONLINE (06/26/2013) [-]
This was pretty obviously written by a male....

in my opinion(i am a male) men should also do a bit of work, and not expect women to get on their cock and start playing with themselves as the man lies there motionless. It should go both ways.
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