How to win a streetfight. Not oc, from 4chan. So, you’ re " and you’ re about to get into aaight. . Here": a Coma , Tip? Your grand puppy should tum» MM you I t
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How to win a streetfight

Not oc, from 4chan

So, you’ re " and you’ re about to get into aaight. .
Here": a
Coma , Tip?
Your grand puppy should tum» MM you
I t' s Friday night. You and your dorky are
hanging out at " pub adter work. Juggling a round on
your way back from the bar, you accidentally spill
a full beer all over some local douche.
You could , buy
Dancing Mcdouche Faee u beer, have a
laugh about the whole thing, and good
time: could be resumed by all.
H OI, ' Uer! Tonight, Douche Blaster Flex is fulfilling to let it go because
Two "ttow, ago his girlfr' xbud him my an even (lonely: bag Listing erectile as the
but youve about
Ifyou can keep your cool and remember "few simple tips, you might be the surprise victor.
This is the SING“ nos! moment In any fight. Always get the one armeh II. .
Recommended Minsk: The Old one " Two
no an mu's length fro your he and
a lake left no to In Mitten, or grain.
Yawning up Am if
u' d he Mar A
in neck woo", mg
Var u MARK " and a
lawless widely
up Ied. ' n. mi‘ strike
Lead with your right, fake with your left
mgs, , Lhotse! here comes the TWO.
Why This Tip is Crucial Lost art ffl) 1'; n\' ling bonus
A Fistful of Quae'
mm: Hindu; and naming." "mg, mm relion
painful and (lo Jury. The minimum clevlands the first good
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Mirrir, roll
um: considerations: Thaw IS a small Stance this guy
veil done
withit But you the Hunts lithe reversed ,
get struck am... v. all x one allout to get stucked. lope F FF.
Position swivel arm around your
opponent' s mack under his cm
Use whichever arm you manage
in get around the neck my
map the opposite
map, which o
than used In apply
pressure and have
Impish' ,_ and
addie% , ofcourse, _
here.
o' onan mango;
Rear ***** Choke.
The ultimate submission for which there is no defense
From this position you may issue your demands
Swear your ennui Slide down your
lo my pulls, you' re my
dork horde! woman now.
...
+495
Views: 29864
Favorited: 177
Submitted: 06/23/2013
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Comments(78):

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User avatar #9 - fitemeirl (06/24/2013) [+] (4 replies)
>spill drink on someone
>punch them before they get a chance to do anything
>choke them so they stop doing what they haven't done yet.

perfect plan.
#4 - anonymous (06/24/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Let me get this straight.... You spill a drink on someone when he's in a bad mood already, then you punch him, choke him, and ultimately humiliate him?
User avatar #1 - lolturtle (06/24/2013) [+] (11 replies)
lol all the people reading this will try it and get their ass kicked cause theyrll all funnyjunkers :
5'9-6'4
100-125 lbs
#2 to #1 - anonymous (06/24/2013) [-]
6"8, 300+ pounds, I will fall on his ass and squash him into the ground, try me, my infinite chins shall simply crush his bones, and his heart. I am your fat god.
#5 - Karraidin (06/24/2013) [-]
This made me lose it. Thumb for you!
#26 - fuckedbyapony (06/24/2013) [+] (2 replies)
>Be me
>8/10 girlfriend has just cheated on me with some total douche
>Feeling terrible so I go out for a drink
>I order my first drink and head toward the corner to sit by myself
>On the way over I accidentally nudge some guy and he spills his drink on me
>Whatever, it's been a bad day i should just go home..
>'Sorry about th-'
>All of a sudden this guys fist comes flying out of nowhere
>My reactions are nowhere near fast enough to avoid it
>I'm shocked and fall to the floor but oh no it's not over yet
>He literally dives on top of me and wraps his arm round my throat
>I can't breath.
>I'm trying to beg him to stop but i can't get a word out
>Soon enough I'm losing consciousness, slowly fading out..
>Wake up 5 minutes later covered in blood and beer
#12 - dudeimlikeadude (06/24/2013) [-]
basically a big "ARE YOU ******* SORRY?" acted out
User avatar #42 - subaqueousreach (06/24/2013) [-]
>At a Karaoke bar with some friends
>Get called up to sing my tune
>Gonna rock House of the Rising Sun
>Feeling dry so I grab a water from the bar
>Turn around and immediately bump into the biggest, broiest bro I've ever seen
>Water goes everywhere. On me, on him, on the cute little old couple just minding their own business. Everywhere.
>He looks at his drenched polo shirt, then at me
>DavidvsGoliath.jpg
>My heart slows to a crawl
>The giant bro speaks
>" **** man I'm real sorry, what were you drinking?"
>Totally caught off guard. "Oh, it was just water bud, don't worry about,"
>He snaps my glass out of my hand and proceeds to fill it with beer from his pitcher
>"It WAS water. Now it's a beer. Enjoy your night."

And that's what it's like living in Canada.
User avatar #43 - twofreegerbils (06/24/2013) [-]
>be at party, drinking
>girlfriend just dumped me, trying to forget about it
>said it was because of my ED, as if I could help it
>some lightweight is stumbling around
>spills his ******* beer on me
>just sort of stand there like wtf
>time to go home I guess..
>out of nowhere the lightweight jabs out like he's gonna hit my stomach
>it was a fake and he comes in and punches me in my tucking face
>he follows me to the ground and puts me in a headlock
>starts screaming about me joining his dark horde
Fml
#17 - trailoftears ONLINE (06/24/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Bro Tip: Don't use the Bic Lighters. They don't work well because they're not round enough and - for my lumberjack-hands at least, they are too small.

Get a Kubotan or at least a Tactical Pen, some of those have some more neat uses. But don't use the tips for striking, that ****** too rough for a brawl.
User avatar #39 - indigobob (06/24/2013) [+] (13 replies)
Guise, I am a martialartsfag and seriously DO NOT **** around with the choke. It happened way too many times that people wanted to subdue the person and because they kept struggling ( being drunk and losing a sense of fear, for example ) they ended up dying this way. RNC is not something to be taken lightly, have that in consideration.
User avatar #24 - aluminiumfoil **User deleted account** (06/24/2013) [-]
Anyone else feel bad for Douche master flex?
#22 - anonymous (06/24/2013) [-]
This is ******* stupid.....
1: The point of a "RNC" should never be to restrict oxygen, just the blood flow to the brain, which is part of the reason it's ******* dangerous and shouldn't be a go to move.
2: If you do try this and don't apply pressure to the correct areas you can crush some ones windpipe and they will die....hence the prison note [url deleted]

this article does not illustrate how to apply this choke properly at all
User avatar #7 - commontroll (06/24/2013) [-]
Me and my now ex-roommate (our lease just ended) almost got into a fight in the parking lot today. That was fun, especially when he screamed at me to pull out a knife, and all because I got out of my car after him talking **** and screaming at me. Apparently I'm not allowed to stand up around him. Who woulda thunk?
User avatar #49 - bandoslootshare (06/24/2013) [-]
i thought it said ******* tips.. was disapointed but then i remembered i could apply the same theory
#47 - starzero (06/24/2013) [+] (17 replies)
I would wait for him to punch me... Dodge it then counter-attack or get punched then sue his ass.
User avatar #52 to #47 - vatra (06/24/2013) [-]
I refuse to start fights, but you. I hate your type, suing over everything. Take care of your own damn problems.
#15 - anonymous (06/24/2013) [+] (2 replies)
too bad most of these virgin neckbeard ******* wouldnt get invited to a party to start with much less win a fight
User avatar #34 - schmuxy ONLINE (06/24/2013) [-]
The fact about martial arts contests is untrue, but otherwise this looks pretty solid. Especially since they gave the correct technique for the stranglehold.
#31 - anonymous (06/24/2013) [-]
The last time I was put in a chokehold I backslammed the ************ so hard I broke 3 of his ribs. Of course I weigh 260 pounds.
#19 - GingerCOM ONLINE (06/24/2013) [-]
Never throw the first punch unless you are alone, you can say later he hit you first and then he will be the ******* .
User avatar #16 - chrisoid (06/24/2013) [-]
>strike first

or dont... because he may not actually throw a punch, he will just be pissed.
Plus some legal **** about how it could be considered assault on your part and self defense in his.
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