Every essay I have ever written. . My Name Mandatory Class Teacher I hate Earlier Date Every Essay I Have Ever Written Opening sentence with acme metaphor that
x

Every essay I have ever written

My Name
Mandatory Class
Teacher I hate
Earlier Date
Every Essay I Have Ever Written
Opening sentence with acme metaphor that you idiot teachers will like because it
makes me leek smart when in reality I hand it an . This is just mindless
******** with a slew at SAT wards I can get a higher grade. Some Amber' s New at a
Book t New Read represents seine **** that I made up; I will spend the next it pages
prating this with meaningless rambling and random games. I will probably get an he an
this essay because I used a thesaurus far every ether were and referred m the that
outside scarce that prepped up an gaggle. This is a sentence. I
...
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Views: 51932
Favorited: 234
Submitted: 06/17/2013
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Comments(130):

[ 130 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#31 - A Pickle (06/17/2013) [-]
I had to do a 7 minute demonstration speech for Public Speaking class today.

I did my 7 minute speech on how to do a 7 minute speech.
User avatar #63 to #31 - partnerintroll (06/18/2013) [-]
its not all that bad when you have something you truly want to write about. In debate, we have these constructive speeches that are 8 minutes long, and my opponent made a an argument for transportation infrastructure in the suburbs to the cities. My 8 minute speech in response was about how racist and anti-black my opponents are being, and that I'm feeling "oppressed".

Keep in mind that I am whiter than old saint nick's untanned ass
User avatar #86 to #31 - burningsmurfs (06/18/2013) [-]
I did my essay for english on why we shouldn't have to do essays anymore. It was filled with so much personal ranting. I think the only reason I got a good grade on it was I made the title something stupid like A Critique on the Art of Modern Scholastics.
User avatar #104 to #31 - meganinja ONLINE (06/18/2013) [-]
I was in a public speaking class and we had to do a 'how to' in front of the class. One of my friends did a how to make a how to, so I went up there and did a how to about how to make a how to of a how to.
#112 to #31 - ucmerolling (06/18/2013) [-]
**ucmerolling rolled a random image posted in comment #202 at Shit I hated in highschool ** in year 10 english we all had to deliver persuasive speeches. Mine was titles, "public speaking should be banned" and made reference to martin Luther King's speech by saying things like, "we are bound by these shackles no more" when referring to the torment of public speaking thrust upon us by teachers. oh i also had "...so, rip up your palm cards and rejoice" in there somewhere which i literally ripped up my palm cards (which were blank) and threw them everywhere, it was awkward picking them back up, but sooo worth it.
i got 100% on that.
#70 to #31 - angelk (06/18/2013) [-]
One time i had to give speech on something.I didn't write it, but my teacher made give it anyways.I gave it on the negative effects of procrastination. I pulled everything out of my You need to login to view this link was 5 sentences long. I failed and looked like an idiot in front of the class. At least my essay had great supporting evidence.
#71 to #70 - angelk (06/18/2013) [-]
And another time my teacher told us we had to write a personal narrative and ,seeing as I don't particularly like writing about my life and I'm a sarcastic asshole, I wrote mine about my phobia of writing narratives and how when she assigned it to us my world shattered and I cried myself to sleep at night etc. I think she felt bad because I got an A.
User avatar #74 to #71 - toosexyforyou (06/18/2013) [-]
Unless you executed those flawlessly they sound like really boring and unoriginal ideas.
#76 to #74 - angelk (06/18/2013) [-]
second was flawless. i mean beautiful, brilliant, moving. the first i ****** up bad. i cuss when i'm nervous so half it was swear words anyways. it was really bad.
#42 to #31 - ICEDgrunge (06/18/2013) [-]
I guess you can say you were in quite A Pickle!
#43 to #42 - A Pickle (06/18/2013) [-]
huehuehuehuehuehuehuehuhe
User avatar #37 to #31 - jamesisawesome (06/18/2013) [-]
I've never met you, but I think we'd be friends.
#7 - fuckinfuckinfuck (06/17/2013) [-]
"Earlier date"

Yup, that's me already.
User avatar #50 to #7 - ubadubba (06/18/2013) [-]
Careful now, many English teachers know that you can open 'properties' to find the date of the most recent change in the essay.
#123 to #50 - anon (06/18/2013) [-]
this doesn't work on printed ones though
User avatar #131 to #123 - ubadubba (06/18/2013) [-]
Ah! True dat.
-9
#82 to #7 - ayumu has deleted their comment [-]
#90 to #82 - furiousmarshmellow (06/18/2013) [-]
No one likes you.
No one likes you.
User avatar #93 to #7 - drewhamster (06/18/2013) [-]
You're actually supposed to place the date the paper is due not the date it is written...
#5 - kingpoopdog (06/17/2013) [-]
You ever have a group essay? Those are always the worst to work on
#10 to #5 - lobbert (06/17/2013) [-]
pfffft not in college! You always volunteer to be the first, then you just tap out like... your two or three ****** pages and then e-mail it to the next sucker before the next period is even over
#44 to #10 - mcronq (06/18/2013) [-]
Judging from his comment I think kingpoopdog may have worked with you already.
User avatar #52 to #5 - dehfurk (06/18/2013) [-]
What are you talking about?! Those were the best! I pushed my work on the smartest kid in the group. A+ minus the effort. I don't even have to type to get the grade!
User avatar #61 to #52 - bagguhsleep (06/18/2013) [-]
asshole
User avatar #56 to #52 - kingpoopdog (06/18/2013) [-]
You're the reason I hate group essays
#75 to #5 - thepink (06/18/2013) [-]
>college   
>leadership class   
>Pretty good student - 3.8 GPA   
>seriously love to write   
>get into a group essay with a bunch of snobby girls I don't know too well   
>Don't trust me - literally only got to write two pages of fluff as a "reflection"   
>offer to edit, job is given to another girl I know   
>Had class with her before - writing just reeks of autism   
>Certain doom on horizon   
>week or two passes   
>Groupmates sending emails back and fourth asking about how the paper is going.   
>She says everything is okay and she's on top of it - she's going to take it to the library to get it proofread.   
>Days pass, essay is due.  No one besides her has seen it.   
>After she hands it in she tells us it was never proofread and she had trouble finishing it.   
>Rage flows like semen in the gay bar downtown   
>			*******		 			****		   
>Week later:   
>Paper returned - slashes of red pen like wounds from a one-sided battle   
>			*******		 C-   
>She gives the paper to me and asks if I'd like to hang on to it   
>Why the 			****		 do I want an essay I couldn't write, research for, or proofread?   
>MFW I finally got to check it out.
>college
>leadership class
>Pretty good student - 3.8 GPA
>seriously love to write
>get into a group essay with a bunch of snobby girls I don't know too well
>Don't trust me - literally only got to write two pages of fluff as a "reflection"
>offer to edit, job is given to another girl I know
>Had class with her before - writing just reeks of autism
>Certain doom on horizon
>week or two passes
>Groupmates sending emails back and fourth asking about how the paper is going.
>She says everything is okay and she's on top of it - she's going to take it to the library to get it proofread.
>Days pass, essay is due. No one besides her has seen it.
>After she hands it in she tells us it was never proofread and she had trouble finishing it.
>Rage flows like semen in the gay bar downtown
> ******* ****
>Week later:
>Paper returned - slashes of red pen like wounds from a one-sided battle
> ******* C-
>She gives the paper to me and asks if I'd like to hang on to it
>Why the **** do I want an essay I couldn't write, research for, or proofread?
>MFW I finally got to check it out.

#51 - oceanfrank (06/18/2013) [-]
yeah except you go into college and your final consists of a 10-12 page essay about a research topic. Not only that, you can only use approved books from the Uni library or any legit website from the school database. You also must have a source cited or your **** is going in the trash. HAVE FUN ***** , I KNOW I DID.
User avatar #67 to #51 - originalanonymous (06/18/2013) [-]
I hate how teachers make you do all that **** when I have never done it out side of school.
User avatar #94 to #67 - mexicanfood (06/18/2013) [-]
it teaches you research skills and to not rely on wikipedia for everything
User avatar #69 to #67 - oceanfrank (06/18/2013) [-]
oh dont worry you'll never do it outside of school. it's just required to learn more outside of the class as well as inside of the class. Dont ask me why I dont run the board of ed.
#62 to #51 - soggytomatoe (06/18/2013) [-]
***** please I had to do that **** my sophomore year in high school
#68 to #62 - oceanfrank (06/18/2013) [-]
Alright cool guy.
#84 to #62 - zombiegorilla (06/18/2013) [-]
This image has expired
Too bad that's the kindergarten version of a legitimate college essay.
#114 to #84 - sharklazers (06/18/2013) [-]
Mfw my final
Mfw my final
#117 to #114 - sharklazers (06/18/2013) [-]
Mfw failing
Mfw failing
User avatar #121 to #62 - Tvfreek ONLINE (06/18/2013) [-]
I just did it too. On lord of the flies. Which btw my teacher took back 2 weeks before anyone finished the book so everyone failed every assignment related to the ending.
User avatar #39 - Sethorein ONLINE (06/18/2013) [-]
And then you go to Uni and get your 10 page essay assignments which require peer-reviewed sources...

Have fun!
#41 to #39 - anon (06/18/2013) [-]
That is why you take a couple college classes while you are in high school. It helps prepare you for college without giving you the full work load that a college gives you.
#24 - infinitereaper (06/17/2013) [-]
Well **** me,

I actually wrote a few serious essays

I got in trouble for every single one of them.
User avatar #2 - windowsupdate (06/17/2013) [-]
you doctor yet?
User avatar #3 to #2 - leglesslegolegolas (06/17/2013) [-]
No dad I'm 12..
User avatar #17 to #3 - Crusader (06/17/2013) [-]
Come back when you Doctor
#14 - willcutting (06/17/2013) [-]






I use shmoop instead of Spark-Notes, the teachers don't know it for the biggest part and all is explain (or almost all) in a funny way
User avatar #36 to #14 - danster (06/18/2013) [-]
My English teacher is a Nazi when it comes to plagiarism. Ihave a feeling she knows that site.
User avatar #116 to #36 - sharklazers (06/18/2013) [-]
Half my teachers check every ******* site like that on essays. I got in trouble twice for that **** (music ed and english, we were supposed to use ************* books)
#132 to #116 - willcutting (06/18/2013) [-]
Do not take it as written, take the ideas and write it your way. Most of the teachers will trust your work more and will not feel the need to check one of your sentence on google. And even if they do, they have no ******* clue since the formulation would not be the same. It's still a bit of work yes, but still less than what you would have done by writing it all and read the books. That's the way I do, and for the moment no one noticed.

MFW I have a good mark on an essay about a book I didn't even open.
User avatar #96 - mexicanfood (06/18/2013) [-]
This just proves everyone on this site is mostly still in high school.

Get into college where you have to provide argumentive essays persuading the professor your point is right and justifying it, there is no such thing as an intro sentence, its an intro paragraph outlining your main points that you are going to talk about throughout your entire essay. Professors make you cite and provide multiple sources to teach you vital research skills since in the real world you cant just copy and paste from sparknotes and use only wikipedia.

**** , actually try and get something out of writing an essay and you'll realize there's more to it than you think.
0
#110 to #96 - DmOnZ has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #115 to #96 - ludislavonac (06/18/2013) [-]
Oh come on, college essays (or seminar papers in my case) are even more ******** than those in highschool, the only difference is that you have to quote or paraphrase your sources. It's mostly copy-paste anyway since most topics you can choose are already covered by multiple authors, and the only thing you have to do is to put it together so it makes sense. A waste of time in my opinion
User avatar #130 to #96 - maybeimalion (06/18/2013) [-]
Yes, because college is the real world. Also, it was a basic formula for a short joke on the internet dude.... come on, use that big grown up brain of yours for a minute. Imagine if this post was as long as one of your essays. Did you manage that? Well, for the sake of time let's say you did. Good, now imagine forcing the internet to read it....Oh what? They would bitch because it would lose its humor? No way, we'd have a million responses like TL;DR. No kidding.... Geez, maybe if we used our imaginations again we could see that is is plausible to stretch this out to 5 pages...like any other college level assignment. Honestly, you either have no idea how to BS a paper, or you simply can't stand the fact that it really is this easy, and you had to piss and moan about it. Now I know, you're going to say "but internet guy, we have restrictions! No wiki! No Spark-Notes!" I get that... I do... buuuuuuuut smart people still make it easy on themselves, and work with minimal effort to get maximum results. I find out the minimum requirement that I need for my quotes and sources, pick up the smallest amount of crap I'd need, and then frame a point around it. I left school with a 3.9...ruined by FLR...that class was murder. (In a good way) So please, tell me how much "work" it is to write essays. I could probably pop out a 10 page essay in a couple hours if I understand the class, if not I'm sure I could figure it out in a few minutes using the wealth of knowledge known as the internet.
User avatar #111 to #96 - DmOnZ (06/18/2013) [-]
Just graduated high school and was in the IB program... they pretty much make you write second and third year University level essay's in grade 11 and 12. It kinda pisses me off seeing people complaining about having to write essay's in general... its like... **** dude, get your **** together. It's about much worse later, so you might as well learn how to do it right, now. Some people in public school I knew hadn't even written their first formal essay until their senior year.
+5
#57 - Yesitsme has deleted their comment [-]
#103 to #57 - schneidend (06/18/2013) [-]
Don't worry about it. This is obviously high schooler content being thumbed by high schoolers.
#1 - renamon (06/17/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #55 - dremnus (06/18/2013) [-]
My essays were filled with sarcastic comments and offensive jokes that upset a lot of my teachers. "You shouldn't joke about that; midgets and orphans are people too."
User avatar #11 - szymonf (06/17/2013) [-]
high school essays sucked.
User avatar #100 - doctordalek (06/18/2013) [-]
I especially liked "earlier date".
#25 - themongoose (06/17/2013) [-]
I read the books because I enjoy reading (except for A Tale of Two Cities and anything by those transcendentalist tree-hugging bastards. That was crap). I also enjoy writing and wrote some killer essays.

I can actually attribute that to getting my job. During my interview, the owner and I were talking about literature and writing (he writes screen plays as a hobby).

tl;dr reading and essays are good things.
User avatar #29 to #25 - helenwheels ONLINE (06/17/2013) [-]
>Brag
>say your ready for rage.
User avatar #30 to #29 - themongoose (06/17/2013) [-]
I apologize. I was unaware that stating that my willing participation in a particular activity being a factor in getting my job could be interpreted as bragging. I was actually stating that if one applies himself, he may increase his chances for success, so there is no reason to BS his way through school. "Ready for rage" because I hold an unpopular opinion. Good day.
#33 to #30 - anon (06/18/2013) [-]
Don't tell him what kind of a day to have.
#60 to #25 - Visual ONLINE (06/18/2013) [-]
The Book Thief
The Book Thief
#58 - Lintutu (06/18/2013) [-]
every written thing ever
every written thing ever
#97 - yusay ONLINE (06/18/2013) [-]
User avatar #98 to #97 - garymotherfingoak (06/18/2013) [-]
that was mean of her
User avatar #81 - winsauceiswin (06/18/2013) [-]
very accurate indeed.
User avatar #34 - wellimnotsure (06/18/2013) [-]
I have BS'd ever paper ive written in college, never gotten below a B on a paper and never failed a class, im proud and ashamed
#19 - heyhowsitgoin ONLINE (06/17/2013) [-]
I enjoy writing essays...
User avatar #26 to #19 - nucularwar (06/17/2013) [-]
I like it once I get into it, coming up with something to start from is the hardest part.
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