The English Middle Finger. Good luck.. It boggles my mind that so many people in the world have learned English...yes, yes, yes, it's the native tongue of the UK and America, two of the biggest, most english
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#5 - iamtheblackgoat
Reply +171
(06/14/2013) [-]
It boggles my mind that so many people in the world have learned English...yes, yes, yes, it's the native tongue of the UK and America, two of the biggest, most influential world powers, but linguistically, English is ******** complicated...our phonetics make no sense, we have no conjugation structure, and no other language relies so much on punctuation to get points across

Thoughts?
#42 to #5 - tankthefrank
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
no genders **** year
#87 to #5 - drastronomy
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
i prefer english to spanish, german and norwegian... that may be because i learned it in 3rd grade, however...
#101 to #5 - fragman ONLINE
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
I don't think English is that complicated. My native language is German (no, I'm not from Germany thank you very much) and in my opinion German would be much more of a bitch to learn as a foreign language.
#112 to #5 - slowyourtroll
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
it might help getting along that it also gives use words like "********"
#117 to #5 - vegardwd
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
English and Norwegian are similiar in ways, so I have no problem speaking English.
I often have to rely on English words because there are many more words in the English language than in the Norwegian.
#153 to #5 - kiboz
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
Dude, try learning Serbian. That grammar is ******* complicated. English is easy as ****.
#9 to #5 - ifuckbabies **User deleted account**
Reply +7
(06/14/2013) [-]
English, to me, was easier than my own language.
#196 to #5 - hotschurl
Reply +1
(06/15/2013) [-]
I know German, English, French and a bit of Japanese, and English is by far the easiest language of those.
#173 to #5 - isiupick
Reply +2
(06/15/2013) [-]
Try learning Polish buddy.   
   
   
   
coming from a Pole
Try learning Polish buddy.



coming from a Pole
#206 to #5 - twinnedorphan
Reply +2
(06/15/2013) [-]
Well I was born here in south america and maybe around 20% of the poblation can speak english, but in the 90's no one , and I mean it, no one spoke english at all, but luckily for me my brother was a big nintendo fan and so was I so we played a lot of games that were in english by default such as zelda ToO, donkey kong country, pokemon red and so on and we couldn't understand any of the plot that was going on, but we still tried to read it and figure out what we were supossed to do, then I found out MTV in the days that they played music all day long and I found many bands that called my attention such as Gorillaz, LP, daft punk (I think I actually saw daft punk in nickelodeon but nvm) and as I was hearing them play, and their lyrics just kind of got stuck on my mind for weeks and I couldn't help but try to sing some times and I would eventually find the lyrics to try to get what they were saying...

and pretty much like that I ended up speaking english at around 16.
I know I have horrible grammar, but at least I can understand all the groups that I hear or all the hilarous nonsence that you guys talk about day after day and I can read amazing stories that have never been translated or shows that never reached my country.


and **** that was a long post.

"tl;dr"
I learned english thanks to music and videogames.
#40 to #5 - tigersstripes
Reply +3
(06/15/2013) [-]
I am in no place to judge, being a native speaker, but our conjugation is easy, most words only have a few different conjugations EG
to go out (English, French)
I go out Je sort
you go out Tu sort
He/she goes out Il/elle sorts
We go out Nous sortent
You (all) go out Vous sortez
They go out Ils/els sortont


Then again, Danish has no conjugation past tense.....
#203 to #40 - lesmiserables
Reply +1
(06/15/2013) [-]
We don't have conjugation past tense?
I eat a pie = jeg** spiser** en tærte
I ate a pie = jeg spiste en tærte
Have I misunderstood the word "conjugation"?
#261 to #203 - tigersstripes
Reply +1
(06/15/2013) [-]
No, i poorly worded it. I meant to say "Danish has no conjugation other than tense, i used "past" a synonym, which usually would be fine if "past tense" wasn't a thing.    
Sorry for the confusion, have some kittens.
No, i poorly worded it. I meant to say "Danish has no conjugation other than tense, i used "past" a synonym, which usually would be fine if "past tense" wasn't a thing.
Sorry for the confusion, have some kittens.
#263 to #261 - lesmiserables
Reply +1
(06/15/2013) [-]
Oh, now ich comprende. I am not a clever man.
#264 to #263 - tigersstripes
Reply +1
(06/15/2013) [-]
"now ich comprende"
I am so very glad i am not the only one who does this.
Je ar ikke un baka
#266 to #264 - lesmiserables
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
'Cause yoooou are not alooooone, I am heeere with yoooou.
#262 to #261 - tigersstripes
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
On a side note, comment 181 used the same wording while describing Danish "we have no conjugation past tense"
Hm
#265 to #262 - lesmiserables
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
Why would he do such a thing? That heartless son of a muerta.
#267 to #265 - tigersstripes
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
*understands exactly what you just said*
not at all
#119 to #40 - anon
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
*Je sors, tu sors, il/elle sort, nous sortons, vous sortez, ils/elles sortent
Of course past, future and other mod/tenses, and other verbs are completely different
French has 3 groups of verbs, the third one basically being a bunch of all the irregular and horrific verbs which doesn't fit the two first groups.
#148 to #119 - tigersstripes
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
Oh...thank you. Well i tried. But that is true, there are 2 regular forms and 1 irregular. Faire, i never got that one....
Past and future is an absolute mess, though. I really don't even want to try.
Thanks Anon! You were a pretty cool guy.
MFW languages.....
#97 to #5 - nustix
Reply +3
(06/15/2013) [-]
Well I can tell you that English has one of the easiest grammatics. If you look at german it's ******* horrible, and dutch has the same rule but we neglect half of them making it even worse.
#43 to #5 - blacksmithgu
Reply +6
(06/15/2013) [-]
While English is annoying, the problem is so are most other languages in the world. Languages like Spanish, French, and other Latin-based languages (not including English, of course) are even more annoying - they usually have 6 verb conjugations and many tenses to portray different feelings (take the Spanish subjunctive, for example). Other languages, like Chinese and Japanese take YEARS to learn, due to their writing system in which there are thousands of symbols. Even the simplified alphabets require use of the old writing system.

The huge problem with why the "ultimate" language hasn't appeared isn't because no one has made one - rather that no one wants to learn ANOTHER new language. Learning new languages is difficult and usually the process of many years (due to learning vocabulary), and the languages which linguistics experts have created (which resolve many language problems) are not well-known enough to even be bothered with.

So, English will likely remain a prominent world language for at least another decade before the Chinese take over the world.
#59 to #43 - anon
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
well let's hope some future linguistic obsessed dictator creates and forces everyone to learn the ultimate language.
#77 to #43 - huszti
Reply -1
(06/15/2013) [-]
"Latin-based languages (not including english)"

english isn't a "latin-based" language
#132 to #77 - snowshark
Reply +2
(06/15/2013) [-]
English has both Latin and Germanic roots. It's why we have so many words for the same thing, because we get them from two different root languages.
#213 to #132 - specialone
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
There's also the original Celtic language. So there are actually 3 roots for the English, not including Nordic words from the Vikings.
#248 to #213 - snowshark
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
Well, it's debatable how much of an impact those celtic and Nordic words really had. Most of the celtic influences in Modern English are scarce and the Nordic words we got from the Vikings are also fairly scarce in the same regard.

I'd argue that we have two main roots to the English Language but English itself is a language that picks and chooses words from all over to add to itself and grow so the Celtic and Nordic influences are merely part of that mulch that flows around the two roots.

Unless I'm deathly mistaken and I'm missing something horribly obvious, in which case I'd be happy to hear your side of this debate in more detail.
#268 to #248 - specialone
Reply 0
(06/16/2013) [-]
Celtic words haven't survived much but the basis for the unique English grammar has. The best example is the continuous tense, which is not there in other Germanic languages.
#270 to #268 - snowshark
Reply 0
(06/16/2013) [-]
Oh? I expected some grammatical quirks to be carried on from Celtic but not that one.

Is there not a continuous tense in other latin-based languages? If so then it may be debatable as to the origin of that tense in the language but as I've no expertise in the area I'm happy to defer to you on this.
#31 to #5 - anon
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
Have you tried spanish....
#181 to #5 - whitenerdy
Reply -1
(06/15/2013) [-]
Many people believe it's either Japanese or Chinese that is the hardest language. That's because they got many levels of "courtesy" For example, the English language have 3.
Bosom = breasts = tits.
Japanese have like 9.

One of the easiest languages grammatically would be Danish. We have no conjugation past tense.

English:
I am, you are, he/she/it is, they are, you are, we are.
Danish:
Jeg er, du er, han/hun/den er, de er, i er, vi er.
"er" is pronounced something like: aer kinda like the English "are."

Although people find it very hard to speak Danish without an accent.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Yzn7UqzRqY
How danes speak Danish:
vocaroo.com/i/s0aCH5R0YLeZ
#222 to #181 - meistarijoi
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
It is impossible to understand Danish people. And I learned danish for 6 years.
#171 to #5 - klina
Reply +1
(06/15/2013) [-]
oh just to prove my point, here's a sentance in my native language and an explanation on it.

Еден ден Марија си одеше по улица гледајќи кон далечната шума.

One day Maria was walking down the street while staring towards the distant forest.

Еден - one (that's pretty simple
Ден - day (same)
Марија - Maria (duh)
Си - has no literal translation in this context, but without it, "was walking" would have a different meaning that's written the same in English
Одеше - past tense of walk, meaning "was walking" (walk is "Оди")
По - literal translation is over/on top of but in context means down as part of "down the street"
Улица - street
Гледајќи - while staring (Гледа - sees) (Гледај - watch) (Гледајќи - while staring)
Кон - towards
Далечната - the far away/the distant
Шума - forest

And that's why the English language is bloody easy to me to learn.
#157 to #5 - klina
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
your language is bloody easy compared to mine, i had the greatest of easy learning it through playing video games
#13 to #5 - jaric
Reply +1
(06/14/2013) [-]
Part of the problem is that English is a mixture of older languages that all had different rules. That's why moose and deer are singular and plural forms while other nouns require the the addition of an "s" at the end to become plural.
#244 to #13 - anon
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
actually the plural form of moose is meese.

educate urself
#120 to #5 - astayal
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
It is also the native tongue of Australia. How did you manage to forget that xD
#247 to #5 - Pena
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
In finnish every noun has over 2000 different declensions (word-forms) and every verb
has about 300 declensions.
#115 to #5 - anon
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
have you spoken french? er, /e (accent above e). ez, et, ais, ait, and ai all make the long a sound, most words you don't pronounce the last letter, so in a word from masculine to feminine that ends in t (m) will end it te for feminine just to pronounce the t. and they have two different tenses for talking in the past, a tense for expressing wants or wishes, and one for expressing opinions. most of which sound almost identical (at half the same, even with though they have different spellings ex: je sera "I will" and je serais "i would" sound the same spoken). vs. in english where no matter who or what you're talking to the word is virtually the same, with the exception of the added s conjugation (I walk, she walks). then our past present and future tenses are mostly just adding simple suffixes.
#242 to #5 - lordmoldywart
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
Two words, British Empire...
#102 to #5 - fuzzysixx ONLINE
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
Navajo
#230 to #5 - skypatrol
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
The reason why everyone learns English, is because its basically the "world language"

The reason why is because of the British. Their colonies were all over the world, and they were absolutely powerful. Nobody messed with England. They were the strongest Superpower...
With the decline of Britain, and the coming of power of America, English was still pressed onto the world through ruthless imperialism of the late 1800's and early 1900's.
Basically, several generations all over the world grew up around English settlements and to survive, you needed to speak English.
It's just the way the world worked.
Right now, America is still the strongest superpower... But its declining, just like Britain did. China will most likely succeed America. But since America and China are so intertwined, we will never know until something happens.
Also, so many things now a days run on English. Aviation is the biggest example. All Air Traffic Controllers are required to be fluent in English. Pilots need to know English. If a Japanese pilot flies into China, they will speak English. If the same pilot flys into Taiwan, English will again be used.
It will be a long time before English stops being used.
tl;dr
English is dominant language because of Britain's world empire in the 1700's-1800's.
Which was reinforced with the coming of power of America.
It's used everywhere.
#98 to #5 - anon
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
YOU THINK ENGLISH IS COMPLICATED? TRY LEARNING ****** FRENCH I GARAND TEA u change ure mind
#220 to #5 - octaviano
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
Bitch, to a german, you're the easiest ************ on earth.
All you have is "the". As in "the car, the living room, the pancake" and more
German? "Das Auto", ergo 'das' for things, "die Frau" as in 'die' for Female Stuff, and "der Mann" as in 'der' for Male stuff.
And "die Waschmaschine" or "der Pfannkuchen" are...

Anyways, you guys have so much more simpler ****.
#226 to #220 - mightypower
Reply +1
(06/15/2013) [-]
I have been studying German for roughly 6 years now and I must say the whole thing of an object having a gender was mind boggling to me. Still to this day I do not see a reason for it, but that is because my native tongue is English and like you said we only have 'the'.
#249 to #226 - octaviano
Reply +1
(06/15/2013) [-]
Don't ask me.
#271 to #249 - mightypower
Reply 0
(06/16/2013) [-]
My german lecturer does not even give me a straight answer.
#272 to #271 - octaviano
Reply +1
(06/16/2013) [-]
Well, it went back to the whole "Masculine, Feminine, Neutral" stuff, while it got so confusing that the german language in modern times went denglish.
Also, writing stuff small or big. English: Beginning of a sentence and names.
German: Things that are things, Nominalized Stuff, Beginning of a sentence, derp.
#273 to #272 - mightypower
Reply 0
(06/16/2013) [-]
Ye next year(september) i have to study the reason behind it, the reason for the phonetics and all the other malarky. I am so excited
#274 to #273 - octaviano
Reply 0
(06/16/2013) [-]
Wait,you can STUDY the reason for that?

HOW THE **** DO YOU STUDY THAT ****.
#279 to #274 - mightypower
Reply 0
(06/17/2013) [-]
Well i get to study the reason behind the grammar in German is the way it is, why there are 16 ways to say 'the' and also compare the grammar in German to English grammar.
#45 to #5 - anon
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
You had me at "********"
#202 to #5 - anon
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
britain......one of teh most influential world powers....lol

ur 200 years late bud
#38 to #5 - gadgetzan
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
To be honest English is fairly easy compared to many other languages. Swedish has a lot more non-sense rules and phonetically it's more difficult to pronounce. Finnish language has 6 verb tenses and 17 grammar cases, while i think English has 2 and 3 respectively. All Swedes learn pretty much fluent English before they're 16 years old.
#121 to #38 - anon
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
"All Swedes learn broken English lined with a horribly thick accent before they're 16 years old."

Fixd.
#123 to #121 - gadgetzan
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
Do you live in Sweden? Where I'm from most people around 16/17 know English well enough to speak almost without accent, sure you can hear it's not their native tongue but those who have a "horribly thick" accent are usually the ones who don't give a **** about school because they have so much #yoloswag
#201 to #5 - arsenalslo
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
Try learning slovene
#10 to #5 - fhonax ONLINE
Reply 0
(06/14/2013) [-]
Yeah but then you look at how big the British Empires was...
#180 to #5 - anon
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
actually english is easy compare to mandarin, french, spanish, deutsch, etc.
#84 to #5 - guruxz
Reply -2
(06/15/2013) [-]
we're retarded, no metric system either 'murica
#160 to #5 - drulludanni ONLINE
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
i thought english was one of the simplest languages in the world, at least its its ******** easier than Icelandic, i think english is the easiest german based language in the world.
#15 to #5 - yunablade
Reply +26
(06/14/2013) [-]
Not really hard, english is relatively easy compared to spanish or french (spanish being my native languaje).

You see, english contrary to french and spanish does not have a conjugation for each pronoun (I, you, she, them, us) and the time conjugation is pretty straight forward (will, would and -ed) and also has genderless articles ("the" "a" pretty much cover anything, there is no distinction between "mae and "female" words).

Not only that but you dont have as many irregular conjugations.

IMO languags like russian or most asian languajes are the hardest because not only they have very different rules, you have to learn a whole new alphabet and memorize new letters
#28 to #15 - thesoulless
Reply +4
(06/15/2013) [-]
I actually thought that the Cyrillic alphabet was very easy to learn. The hardest part is learning the words
#16 to #15 - iamtheblackgoat
Reply +2
(06/14/2013) [-]
Russian's probably one of the best....Cyrillic is not hard to learn, the grammar is straightforward, and there are no extra articles or state-of-being verbs cluttering everything up
#129 to #16 - wottafella
Reply -1
(06/15/2013) [-]
Cyrillic can be a bitch to write, learning it as well, but speaking a language is easy when compared to write. But what makes it annoying with countries that use Cyrillic and 'standard form' is that it boggles my mind, I don't know which one to use when I am writing.
#231 to #15 - zight
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
I think the thing is, and i'm just saying this since i know both Spanish, English, and I took a few classes of french in highschool, is that you guys, even though it may be harder to learn due to having to learn more conjugations, there are more rules, but in there being more rules, makes it easier to understand, im not sure if im making myself clear, but if you tried to read the above, i think you will see what i mean. through, threw spelled differently but sound the same. lead, lead, spelled the same but depending on what its referring to is said differently. In french, if i remember correctly there is very very few words that do this. why does read and read have different pronunciations, but bread and bread don't?

TLDR english is easier to learn, but when you get down to the whole pronunciations and linguistics, it all becase one ******* mess do to there being many exceptions to the few guide lines there are.
#12 - karmakoala
Reply +72
(06/14/2013) [-]
Instructions weren't clear enough, read it in Hebrew
#147 to #12 - anon
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
היצור היקר ביותר ביצירה לומד להגות אנגלית אני אלמד אותך בפסקתי נשמע כמו גופה חיל סוס וגרוע יותר אני אשמור אותך סוזי, עסוקה אגרום לראשך עם חום להיות מבולבל דמעה בעין השמלה שלך תיקרע גם אני! הו תשמע את תפילתי רק תשווה לב זקן ושמע מת ודיאטה אדון ומילה חרב ונשבע לזכור ובריטניה (שים לב לאחרון איך זה נכתב.) עכשיו אני בטוח לא אדביק אותך במגפה עם מילים כמו פלקט וצמרמורת שים לב לאיך שאתה מדבר תגיד לשבור וסטייק אבל ריק ורצף שסוע תנור איך ונמוך תסריט מתכון הופעה שיר ואגודל תשמע אותי אומר להיזה מתחבולות בת צחוק וטרפסיכורה אההההההההההההה כוס עמקקקק אין לי כוח
#161 to #147 - karmakoala
Reply +5
(06/15/2013) [-]
Don't call me Suzy
#24 - duskmane ONLINE
Reply +56
(06/14/2013) [-]
I'm saving this.
I've not had such fun with words in ages.
#175 to #24 - thenewneone
Reply -5
(06/15/2013) [-]
You must be fun at parties.
#126 - mamen
Reply +49
(06/15/2013) [-]
Thought this poem was about rape after reading the first few lines.
#178 - alawabidingcitizen
Reply +34
(06/15/2013) [-]
Started trying to do it. Stopped.   
"How long is this?"   
Check to see.   
MFW
Started trying to do it. Stopped.
"How long is this?"
Check to see.
MFW
#179 to #178 - pongprofessor
Reply +4
(06/15/2013) [-]
That's exactly what i did lol
That's exactly what i did lol
#48 - trolljunkusa ONLINE
Reply +17
(06/15/2013) [-]
I did this poem for poetry out loud. Really ******* easy now
#51 to #48 - Awesomenessniss [OP]
Reply +3
(06/15/2013) [-]
How the Hell do you memorize this?
#54 to #51 - trolljunkusa ONLINE
Reply +33
(06/15/2013) [-]
Very carefully.
#118 to #51 - carthos
Reply +4
(06/15/2013) [-]
what if... what if he was allowed to read it from his paper
#158 - puppetstigma **User deleted account**
+24
has deleted their comment [-]
#162 to #158 - lemoron
Reply +12
(06/15/2013) [-]
mine too
#165 to #162 - puppetstigma **User deleted account**
+10
has deleted their comment [-]
#167 to #165 - lemoron
Reply +12
(06/15/2013) [-]
that's my asshole for you
#169 to #167 - puppetstigma **User deleted account**
+7
has deleted their comment [-]
#170 to #169 - lemoron
Reply +7
(06/15/2013) [-]
if you really want a lick...
#172 to #170 - puppetstigma **User deleted account**
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#205 - therulethirtyfour
Reply +20
(06/15/2013) [-]
As an English teacher I have this (abbreviated) posted in my classroom and tell students that if they pronounce all of the words correctly they automatically get A's on their vocabulary tests and don't have to take them.

Many have tried, only one has succeeded.

>What my other students sound like when they attempt to read it.
#243 to #205 - anticitezenone
Reply +2
(06/15/2013) [-]
a few words i can't really know what they sound like because i've never seen them before, but otherwise i would love to not take vocab tests
#212 - captchakid
Reply +16
(06/15/2013) [-]
Easy. Might have missed a few words here and there since I had previously never heard of or said them before.
#217 to #212 - CaptainWaffles
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
Same here.
#192 - teenytinyspider
Reply +12
(06/15/2013) [-]
Mfw just a few of these words I didn't even know how to pronounce.

And I'm generally extremely good in English too.
#250 to #192 - maucorn **User deleted account**
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#251 to #250 - teenytinyspider
Reply 0
(06/15/2013) [-]
But you don't understand, I'm a writer of sorts, I have to have a good grasp of the English language.
#253 to #251 - maucorn **User deleted account**
+1
has deleted their comment [-]
#211 to #192 - lemleet
Reply +1
(06/15/2013) [-]
same here