National Sauce Agency. . Need help with a wet: I a age Le C Diamao@ nsxgtd rel Need help with a video I watched a couple swears ago I In Acouple ago I watched t

National Sauce Agency

Need help with a wet: I a age
Le C
Diamao@ nsxgtd
rel Need help with a video I watched a couple swears ago
I In Acouple ago I watched this great porn en Lea. ergy. g., and since you guys keep metadata
backups of my browsing history fer me, I' d like to know Mien could send me an itemized report of
my browsing while I was en (g. f. i.. t. Y.. b.. g. in the last three years. I really want to watch that video again)
you' re doing it right
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Favorited: 35
Submitted: 06/13/2013
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User avatar #101 to #63 - uzerc (06/14/2013) [-]
They did the same with Windows, but people still bought it.
#102 to #63 - kingbulbasaur (06/14/2013) [-]
If this were the case, I'd feel so ******* bad for hating on the xbox one so hard
#107 to #63 - camzore ONLINE (06/14/2013) [-]
My mind....
#94 to #63 - smokeyrp (06/14/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#83 to #63 - anon (06/14/2013) [-]
#82 to #63 - julesv (06/14/2013) [-]
They would be heroes
They would be heroes
#75 to #63 - dumbsmartie (06/14/2013) [-]
The hero the World deserves, but not the one it needs right now... and so we'll boycott them, because they can take it. Because Microsoft is not a hero. It's a silent guardian, a watchful protector... a dark knight.
#7 - vlandis (06/14/2013) [-]
Don't forget because of the Freedom of Information Act you can request that a copy of your full FBI folder be sent to is then required of them to send it to you
User avatar #51 to #7 - jcfjr (06/14/2013) [-]
Good heavens, no! I don't want a hard-copy of that!
User avatar #95 to #7 - mookiez (06/14/2013) [-]
Who do I contact to get my full fbi folder sent to me?
#111 to #95 - vlandis (06/14/2013) [-]
Honestly I couldn't tell you, but I know its possible
User avatar #20 to #7 - settlwlvs (06/14/2013) [-]
So, have every FunnyJunker do this just to **** with the FBI for a day. Sounds fun.
User avatar #44 to #20 - thedarkestrogue (06/14/2013) [-]
i think we should. I would be interested to know what they have.
User avatar #45 to #44 - settlwlvs (06/14/2013) [-]
I wonder if they know about me getting sent home in the 7th grade for threatening a school shooting?
User avatar #58 to #45 - vatra (06/14/2013) [-]
I guarantee it, you go on a list if you threaten something like that.
User avatar #60 to #58 - settlwlvs (06/14/2013) [-]
Well, to clarify, I didn't technically announce a school shooting. I just sat in class with my fingers in the shape like a gun and pointed at everyone. As I passed over each individual, I either said "bang" and pretended to shoot, or told them "I like you. You get to live."
#61 to #60 - vatra (06/14/2013) [-]
That's hilarious! What did the other kids do?
User avatar #65 to #61 - settlwlvs (06/14/2013) [-]
one or two of the girls cried because they thought I was serious (Lol, one of them was the girl I had a huge crush on), one of the boys just looked at me in horror. The rest were just like "Dude, are you okay? Do you wanna talk about it?"
I may or may not have been crying hardcore while pretending to kill everyone in class, right before motioning pulling the trigger on my own head.

Damn, I was one messed up kid.
User avatar #67 to #65 - vatra (06/14/2013) [-]
Damn, it is slightly less funny now. I was royally ****** up to, but I kept it to myself.
User avatar #69 to #67 - settlwlvs (06/14/2013) [-]
I'd prefer you thought it was funny. It makes it easier to look back on and not flip **** about.

And yeah, I was a ****** up kid. Got bullied, to this day have never had a girlfriend, didn't get my first kiss until I was a senior in highschool, and it was random slut who was giving me a bj. She snuck it in there before I had a chance to react. Went to my Senior prom alone and OD'd on those energy pills you get at gas stations. Took 4 instead of 1 and ended up leaving less than an hour after getting there. I took the beach towels out of my trunk and made a bed on the side of the road by the lake. I had to convince the cops that came by to investigate that I had just gotten overheated during prom and needed some fresh air. That... actually was pretty ******* funny.
User avatar #71 to #69 - vatra (06/14/2013) [-]
The cops believed you..?
User avatar #73 to #71 - settlwlvs (06/14/2013) [-]
Yep, even though not 10 minutes before I was seizing like crazy. I seriously couldn't make my body stop shaking, scary **** .

I'm pretty good with cops though. And I didn't smell like booze, so they had bigger fish to fry that night.
User avatar #74 to #73 - vatra (06/14/2013) [-]
Fair enough! Yeah, I was bullied, got super anger management issues, on day a dude tried to pick on me, I threw him face first into a chain link fence as hard as I could, he has a V shaped scar under his left eye now.
User avatar #77 to #76 - vatra (06/14/2013) [-]
That happened in third grade, was the first fight I ever got in, got off scott free too
User avatar #78 to #77 - settlwlvs (06/14/2013) [-]
Only fight I was in was 5th grade. Some kid threw dog poo onto my new shirt, so I got him in a choke hold and kept him there clawing my face with his nails until he almost passed out. When I let him go he was too out of breath to do anything back.
User avatar #80 to #78 - vatra (06/14/2013) [-]
Nice, I've had about five I think, though most of them were closer to assault than anything. A dude was going to attack me in the gym, as he went to duck under the volley ball net, I grabbed the net and threw myself down and forward, this essentially clotheslined him, he also has a scar under his eye, though his a horizontal wide line.
User avatar #46 to #45 - thedarkestrogue (06/14/2013) [-]
probably yeah.
User avatar #48 to #46 - settlwlvs (06/14/2013) [-]
The teachers suggested I go to counseling and get a therapist. My parents just shrugged and said "Nah, he'll be fine."
#50 to #48 - anon (06/14/2013) [-]
But are you fine?
User avatar #53 to #50 - settlwlvs (06/14/2013) [-]
Cut myself between 8th and 11th grade. Was lonely, desperate, and wanted to die. I smoked pot for the first time when I was 16, anger issues have dropped by 90% since then. I used to get angry at the smallest things (like the bed sheets not fitting) and now I'm really chill and let things go. Between then and now I've tried every drug I can name (benzos, methamphetamines, weed, opiate based pain-killers, etc.) except coke or heroin, without getting a taste for any of them. Finally stopped taking anti-depressants two weeks before college started (been on them since 7th grade). Was still depressed until I dropped out a year later, now I'm living at home and unemployed. Oddly enough though, I haven't felt this not-depressed since I was too young to know what the word even meant. I no longer want to kill myself, don't even think about cutting anymore, am not addicted to drugs or alcohol (although I smoke between 2 and 5 cigarettes a day, started the day I turned 18), and have come to terms with the fact that I'm single. This new-found happiness started right after I dropped out of college... Anyway, I'm no longer a threat to society or myself, so I would have to say I'm doing just fine.
#59 to #53 - vatra (06/14/2013) [-]
Good times.
Good times.
User avatar #62 to #59 - settlwlvs (06/14/2013) [-]
Meth was fun, wouldn't do it again though. Not a big fan of weed, but I'd smoke it if it was free. Didn't like opiates, and the only time I took benzos I blacked out and, according to my friends, took a butcher knife and announced that I was going to do something cool. Then I sliced the bottom of my foot open and passed out on the couch. College was some crazy **** .
User avatar #64 to #62 - vatra (06/14/2013) [-]
This is why I've never tried drugs lol. I barely trust myself when I'm sober, **** would hit the fan if I got ****** up.
User avatar #66 to #64 - settlwlvs (06/14/2013) [-]
Don't. It's not really worth the risks you take.
User avatar #68 to #66 - vatra (06/14/2013) [-]
Yeah, I don't even feel tempted to, yet I don't care if others do, it is their body and they can do as they damn well please.
User avatar #70 to #68 - settlwlvs (06/14/2013) [-]
Meh, all things in moderation. As long as they don't do enough to affect others, I could care less what anybody does.
User avatar #72 to #70 - vatra (06/14/2013) [-]
#47 - berentzen (06/14/2013) [-]
Meanwhile at NSA HQ
#96 to #47 - poniesnstuff (06/14/2013) [-]
Those dicks
User avatar #103 to #81 - lowalk ONLINE (06/14/2013) [-]
"Smoking twins go down"
#14 - LovegoodJuggalo (06/14/2013) [-]
YFW Homeland Security shows up at your door.
YFW Homeland Security shows up at your door.
#88 - MasterManiac (06/14/2013) [-]
> Writing an email that you're never going to send

Man up OP.
User avatar #16 - zombiefied (06/14/2013) [-]
As if they are going to bother to read this.
User avatar #17 to #16 - thesupervillian (06/14/2013) [-]
Implying the email was actually sent.
User avatar #29 to #17 - crazyhindu (06/14/2013) [-]
It doesn't need to be sent for them to see it.
User avatar #30 to #29 - thesupervillian (06/14/2013) [-]
Really? Is what typed in an email saved no matter what, regardless of it being sent or not? If so i was un-aware of this.
User avatar #31 to #30 - crazyhindu (06/14/2013) [-]
No...The joke was they are always monitoring so regardless if he sends it or not they will still see.
#32 to #31 - thesupervillian (06/14/2013) [-]
Hmm, i see. This does indeed add a bit more humor to the joke for me. I must say that i am obviously not really knowledgeable on the matter so my apologies.
Hmm, i see. This does indeed add a bit more humor to the joke for me. I must say that i am obviously not really knowledgeable on the matter so my apologies.
User avatar #36 to #32 - crazyhindu (06/14/2013) [-]
Lol its fine.
#39 to #30 - anon (06/14/2013) [-]
With Google, it automatically saves drafts (which the NSA can collect).
If you look in the lower right corner, it says "saved."
User avatar #18 to #17 - zombiefied (06/14/2013) [-]
I bet we're going to get red thumbs for being so cynical.
#23 to #18 - thesupervillian (06/14/2013) [-]
I must say i dont really care either way. The joke is nice and all, i just personally couldnt enjoy it after awhile with that send button staring me in the face.    
Thumbs dont mean much anyways. As long as i don't get auto-banned im happy. But heres some thumbs for you on your journey regardless of the outcome.
I must say i dont really care either way. The joke is nice and all, i just personally couldnt enjoy it after awhile with that send button staring me in the face.

Thumbs dont mean much anyways. As long as i don't get auto-banned im happy. But heres some thumbs for you on your journey regardless of the outcome.
User avatar #27 to #23 - zombiefied (06/14/2013) [-]
I think facebook needs a dislike button.
#1 - anon (06/13/2013) [-]
Getting the attention of homeland security - you're doing it right .
#3 to #1 - anon (06/13/2013) [-]
I need to sacrifice one (or maybe more) evening to learn how many security agencies are in United Stated ("Mah Freedomz" yeah right) and what is the divison of tasks between them.
#91 - anon (06/14/2013) [-]
remember to sign the petition to pardon Snowden
#55 - anon (06/14/2013) [-]
One thing you can do is file a Freedom Of Information Request pertaining to yourself.
#2 - thedevilsday **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #42 - toxickooties (06/14/2013) [-]
If they can do that maybe I should ask them about the pron I saw about two girls just having fun in a bathroom taking half nekked pictures of them selves together, suddenly 10 minutes later they're discovering their lesbian side... such a subtle video yet so... "interesting"

Coming from a straight female. It's a little strange how much I enjoyed that.

I'm also hoping some one here knows what video I'm talking about...
#104 - anon (06/14/2013) [-]
While we're at it brethren,there is a porn video i watched a while ago,in it was a somewhat short haired,blonde girl being "abused" and stuff.
The identifying point was that she talks about how incest turns her on,and her first sexual experiences with the young female friend.
I cannot for the life of me find that video again,it was on motherless but it got deleted a while ago.

Does anyone know what video i'm talking about?
#79 - camblea (06/14/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#90 to #79 - aconfuseddonut (06/14/2013) [-]
Hey, Dr. Strangelove!
Hey, Dr. Strangelove!
User avatar #43 - thedarkestrogue (06/14/2013) [-]
They can know that i watch porn all they want.

Not my problem when they see something they don't want to.
#41 - indiannerd (06/14/2013) [-]
Will they tell my wife that once I searched on google for "how to seduce neighbours wife".
User avatar #38 - poiklman (06/14/2013) [-]
I don't see what the big deal is, we knew all the stuff you say and do on the internet could already be monitored and traced by whatever company's service you're using anyway, why give a **** about some hidden away hard drive that says your IP address connected to these webpages or you sent this work email?
#92 to #38 - neurofuzzy (06/14/2013) [-]
Don't say that to us, say that to this guy:

(You're right of course, but the knowns are (IMO): abuses of the system, scandals, bad pictures being painted of innocent people [perhaps you!], have occured plenty of times throughout history, and w/o the people's say in things, they will occur more frequently in the future. Yes you can still say, "well I won't get arrested or targeted with p<0.05", but other innocents will be. My go-to examples of these kinds of things are perfectly sane vets being arrested and put in mental institutions without their rights being read, and innocent foreign prisoners being kept jailed. Losing our rights gives an immoral world.)

(video interview + article, "Edward Snowden, NSA files source: 'If they want to get you, in time they will' Source for the Guardian's NSA files on why he carried out the biggest intelligence leak in a generation – and what comes next" )
User avatar #106 to #38 - durkadurka (06/14/2013) [-]
Because it's all about control. The metadata from your phone calls is stored as well. They know who you called, when you called, where you called from, and how long the call was.

As of now, this data mining is innocuous. But remember that while this is being uncovered, we're ALSO investigating the IRS for politically targeting people. It's not a huge stretch to suggest that this data could be used to target people the government has issues with.

Say your engaged in some political opposition to the current or future DJ 4DM1Nistration. This DJ 4DM1Nistration could then go and see all of the people your group communicates with. So now they have a larger list of targets which they will investigate and harass with unnecessary bureaucracy.

Chances are that this never happens. But we've already seen it happen with the IRS.

Because this data mining operation gathers so much data on a daily basis, it's unlikely that it can effectively stop terrorism as it was supposedly created to do.

Also, the government has no ******* right to monitor what I do without a warrant.

TL;DR: The big deal isn't necessarily what is happening, but rather the implications of it and the power over the people it gives to government.
#57 to #38 - anon (06/14/2013) [-]
People with attitudes like yours are part of the problem. Keep being complacent and there will be nobody left to fight for you when they suddenly decide that you are the next target.
User avatar #85 to #57 - poiklman (06/14/2013) [-]
Well I don't spend my time looking at child porn like some of the people on this website clearly do, so I don't have anything to worry about.
#37 - anon (06/14/2013) [-]
i actually want to do that, can i?
User avatar #26 - ilovemyguns ONLINE (06/14/2013) [-]
You could probably get a quicker response if you search it on google.
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