Delicious. .. I work at Pizza Hut and when someone asked for a joke the only ones we could think of were "inappropriate." I ended up writing: How many tickles does  Pizza gynecologist
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#8 - mghnhymn
Reply +432
(06/09/2013) [-]
I work at Pizza Hut and when someone asked for a joke the only ones we could think of were "inappropriate." I ended up writing:

How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles.
#156 to #8 - bloodmagic
Reply -3
(06/10/2013) [-]
MFW trying to decide whether to laugh or not.
#165 to #156 - hcatt
Reply 0
(06/28/2014) [-]
#139 to #8 - anon
Reply 0
(06/09/2013) [-]
Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff?


Tequila!

(sound it out -.-)
#124 to #8 - fuckyouto
Reply +3
(06/09/2013) [-]
ಠ__ಠ
#136 to #8 - lizardnigger
Reply +5
(06/09/2013) [-]
That **** right there is brilliant. You ******* genius.
That **** right there is brilliant. You ******* genius.
#157 to #136 - lamarisagoodname
Reply +2
(06/10/2013) [-]
Eons shall pass and this will remain my favorite gif
#128 to #8 - usernameerror
Reply +7
(06/09/2013) [-]
#13 to #8 - keiishiyama
Reply +10
(06/09/2013) [-]
First some guy on the brain post using "unnerving" in his joke, now this. Pun central tonight.
#144 to #8 - thesoraminer **User deleted account**
Reply +18
(06/09/2013) [-]
The queen of England was visiting one of Canada's top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.

"Oh my god!", said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this???"

The doctor leading the tour explains, "I'm sorry your ladyship, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly."

"Oh, I am sorry" said the Queen.

On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow job.

"Oh my God", said the Queen, "What's happening in there?"

The Doctor replied, "Same problem, better health plan."
#158 to #144 - qwarthos
Reply +1
(06/10/2013) [-]
Is that when she decided free healthcare for everyone so everyone can get blow jobs?
#15 to #8 - mrastrozombie
Reply +35
(06/09/2013) [-]
I absolutely LOVE puns, and that's one of the best ones I've heard.
#123 to #15 - jazzyietheferret
Reply +6
(06/09/2013) [-]
Where are all of you when I make puns!? I feel as if no one realizes it or they just don't care.
#16 to #15 - mghnhymn
Reply +5
(06/09/2013) [-]
Ditto. They're so punny.
#11 to #8 - blandknight
Reply +70
(06/09/2013) [-]
I laughed way to hard at that
#12 to #11 - mghnhymn
Reply +42
(06/09/2013) [-]
I know what you mean. It absolutely made my day the first time I heard it.
#28 - internetrage
Reply +252
(06/09/2013) [-]
>build your own pizza   
>pepperoni
>build your own pizza
>pepperoni
#37 to #28 - mrgusti
Reply +45
(06/09/2013) [-]
pepperoni is pizza topping master race
#47 to #37 - alcoholicsemen ONLINE
Reply +20
(06/09/2013) [-]
meatlovers represent
#52 to #47 - toastersburnthings
Reply +1
(06/09/2013) [-]
Bacon somehow always winds up being ****** for me when it's on a pizza.
#54 to #52 - alcoholicsemen ONLINE
Reply +15
(06/09/2013) [-]
have you tried it with cocaine
#62 to #54 - amusingtoaster
Reply +20
(06/09/2013) [-]
Not since the accident.
#65 to #47 - lamarisagoodname
Reply 0
(06/09/2013) [-]
Why does nobody like olives? I think green olives go very well with beef, with some onion too
#68 to #65 - alcoholicsemen ONLINE
Reply +5
(06/09/2013) [-]
dude i hear olives on a pizza are a flavor orgasm waiting to happen
dude i hear olives on a pizza are a flavor orgasm waiting to happen
#159 to #65 - pineapplepeople
Reply 0
(06/10/2013) [-]
bacon, ham, and green olives is the most amazing pizza I've ever eaten.
#87 to #37 - heartlessrobot
Reply 0
(06/09/2013) [-]
Nah man, Anchovy master race.
#56 to #37 - smokekusheveryday
Reply 0
(06/09/2013) [-]
Yes but is bacon not also a glorious master race as well?
#9 - redstonealchemist
Reply +52
(06/09/2013) [-]
how do you know your sister is on her period?
#17 to #9 - anon
Reply 0
(06/09/2013) [-]
she only gives u a$$ ?
#90 to #9 - sinclairr
Reply +1
(06/09/2013) [-]
#20 to #9 - izaya
Reply +40
(06/09/2013) [-]
Believe me, you'll know...

Source: 17 years of living with an older sister
#29 to #20 - internetrage
Reply +8
(06/09/2013) [-]
#31 to #20 - anon
Reply 0
(06/09/2013) [-]
See the only reason I know my sister is on hers is when she says it aloud. She is a royal bitch at all times, so you can' t really tell that way.
#14 to #9 - nommonsterbaa
Reply +155
(06/09/2013) [-]
Your dad's cock tastes like blood.
#132 to #14 - lesserdeity
Reply +4
(06/09/2013) [-]
I would love to meet the person that cma e up with this joke
#134 to #132 - nommonsterbaa
Reply +3
(06/09/2013) [-]
Wish I could say it was me.
#161 to #14 - redstonealchemist
Reply +1
(06/11/2013) [-]
right answer
right answer
#85 to #14 - guto
Reply +1
(06/09/2013) [-]
I lol'd thumb for you
I lol'd thumb for you
#3 - Penn
Reply +103
(06/09/2013) [-]
I ordered Papa John's the other day and where it said "Delivery Instructions" I put "Say the word 'penis' or no tip." I got a call 5 minutes later from the manager stating that her delivery driver refuses to service me because she feels she wouldn't get a tip. I said "Well, if she says 'penis' she will." I was told not to order from that store again.

However, I made my point about their policies and how they're obligated to deliver to me. They did. But, apparently I can only get a delivery if a man is working.
#73 to #3 - anon
Reply 0
(06/09/2013) [-]
I'm sure you could have given her the tip, hahaha get it?...
#21 - martycamp
Reply +49
(06/09/2013) [-]
Upon breaking up with me, my girlfriend told me she faked every one of her orgasms.

What's worse is that she's a squirter.
#22 to #21 - thepineapple
Reply +4
(06/09/2013) [-]
Your X-GF urinates squirts.
#24 to #22 - martycamp
Reply +13
(06/09/2013) [-]
Bonus joke is my having a girlfriend. Or sex.
#23 to #22 - martycamp
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#25 to #23 - thepineapple
Reply -1
(06/09/2013) [-]
More than you make 'em orgasm.
#26 to #21 - reican
Reply +12
(06/09/2013) [-]
tell her you poked a hole in the last condom.
#27 to #21 - neoexdeath ONLINE
Reply +75
(06/09/2013) [-]
By the sacred Bylaws of the internet, I must request pics, or I shall have no choice but to assume this event did not occur.
#39 - mycatislookingatme
Reply +55
(06/09/2013) [-]
Everyone on the "How do you tell your sister is on her period" joke, my worst one is:

So, I was licking out this girl last week, then I tasted horse semen.
I thought to myself "Oh granny, so that's how you died".


It gets worse the longer you think about it.
#120 to #39 - anon
Reply 0
(06/09/2013) [-]
He was eating out his grandmother who died by having sex with a horse. Lovely
#129 to #39 - anon
Reply 0
(06/09/2013) [-]
I involuntarily started whining, "No... stop... please..."
#135 to #39 - lesserdeity
Reply 0
(06/09/2013) [-]
That was actually ******* funny once I got it.
#142 to #39 - anon
Reply 0
(06/09/2013) [-]
yeah because you know what horse semen tastes like
#153 to #39 - CapnInterwebz
Reply 0
(06/09/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#143 to #39 - ugottanked ONLINE
Reply +1
(06/09/2013) [-]
.....jesus ******* christ
#102 to #39 - blbrian
Reply +3
(06/09/2013) [-]
The **** dude
The **** dude
#96 to #39 - hektoroftroy
Reply +13
(06/09/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#4 - awesomerunner
Reply +50
(06/09/2013) [-]
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Kick his sister in the jaw
#74 - wilfredfanforever
Reply +37
(06/09/2013) [-]
what's the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead babies?

My Dick.
#86 to #74 - Necrophelia
Reply +1
(06/09/2013) [-]
agreed
#76 to #74 - wilfredfanforever
Reply +21
(06/09/2013) [-]
What does a baby in a blender look like?

I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
#83 to #76 - scuttle
Reply +3
(06/09/2013) [-]
I like you, friend.
#131 to #76 - anon
Reply 0
(06/09/2013) [-]
How do you take out babies out of a blender?

With nachos.
#127 to #76 - zakaizer
Reply 0
(06/09/2013) [-]
You are one sick ****. Keep 'em coming, bro.
#150 to #127 - wilfredfanforever
Reply 0
(06/09/2013) [-]
What's red and scratches at the window?

A baby in a microwave.
#148 to #127 - wilfredfanforever
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#126 to #76 - crazyoljew
Reply 0
(06/09/2013) [-]
I think you should keep them coming
#114 - nighthawxx
Reply +19
(06/09/2013) [-]
When can you punch a midget?   
   
When he's standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice
When can you punch a midget?

When he's standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice
#111 - pikkapii
Reply +15
(06/09/2013) [-]
I asked them to draw a dinosaur on the box, but they didn't.