how /b/ wants to die. . if ynu wanna Q nut in a wacky way, here ynu gm sget a credit card with a high limit ruse it ta by a lumen hate, same mm, and a cine way
Home Funny Pictures YouTube Funny Videos Funny GIFs Text/Links Channels Search

how /b/ wants to die

+1261
Views: 49643
Favorited: 269
Submitted: 06/02/2013
Share On Facebook
Add to favorites Subscribe to speedosausage Subscribe to 4chan E-mail to friend submit to reddit
Share image on facebook Share on StumbleUpon Share on Tumblr Share on Pinterest Share on Google Plus E-mail to friend

Comments(176):

[ 176 comments ]
Show:   Top Rated Controversial Best Lowest Rated Newest Per page:
Order:

Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
#177 - hinji **User deleted account** (06/04/2013) [-]
This image has expired
Repost, but still the best way to go down in style!
#163 - anonymous (06/03/2013) [-]
le 4chins hardcure le thumb up! >.<!! haha le retoast fj sandwich
0
#155 - iNirvana has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #159 to #155 - MythBuster (06/03/2013) [-]
i saw a guy get shot by like 15 cops after a chase once and they kept replaying it.. even showing his dead body getting double, triple, and quad tapped
0
#161 to #159 - iNirvana has deleted their comment [-]
#152 - nikkeem (06/03/2013) [-]
Parachute!!
Parachute!!
#149 - Rockaman (06/03/2013) [-]
To make this really boss, put on the Space Jam theme on your car radio at full volume!
#147 - anonymous (06/03/2013) [-]
Full thread here tinyurl.com/34fmj4f
#174 to #147 - shamefulavocado (06/03/2013) [-]
No way am I clicking on a tinyurl link... for the second time today.
User avatar #175 to #174 - kingkalientwo (06/04/2013) [-]
That was a good idea... such a shame I didn't have it...
User avatar #146 - mrgoodlove ONLINE (06/03/2013) [-]
That would totally work if it weren't for the 7 second delay they have on tv.

>get wire from cheese cutter
>wrap it around your neck like a noose
>get on a chair
>superglue hands to head
>jump off the chair
Now it looks like you ripped your head off with your bare hands.
User avatar #160 to #146 - schneidend ONLINE (06/03/2013) [-]
Implying a news outlet wouldn't kill for footage of something that shocking.
#145 - xast (06/03/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#143 - anonymous (06/03/2013) [-]
"Cops tail you into dessert"
Maybe a donut!

Haaa! Because they're pigs! Amidoinitrite.jif
User avatar #133 - doodogger (06/03/2013) [-]
I have a morning ritual that I need to share. I call it "the terminator". First I crouch down in the shower in the classic " ***** terminator traveling through time" pose. With my eyes closed I crouch there for a minute, visualizing either Arnold or the guy from the second movie (not the chick in the third one because that one sucked) and I start to hum the terminator theme. Then I slowly rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me to proceed through my day as an emotionless, cyborg badass. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It ruins the fantasy.

Anyone else?
#144 to #133 - zhooker (06/03/2013) [-]
Only problem is I read this several times in several other places already.
#135 to #133 - autoxx (06/03/2013) [-]
Yeah, screaming like a sissy girl when the curtain brushes you leg would spoil the effect...
#132 - anonymous (06/03/2013) [-]
>Get a guillotine and a catapult that can be fired by cutting a rope.
>Set up catapult and guillotine so the basket is under your head.
>Aim catapult at nearest city.
>Put head and rope through guillotine.
>Trigger guillotine.
>Guillotine cuts through neck and rope.
>Head flies into city.
#130 - anonymous (06/03/2013) [-]
**anonymous rolls 33** shrek em
User avatar #162 to #130 - fearlessteacup (06/03/2013) [-]
Shrek is dubs. Shrek is life.
#126 - babbylicious (06/03/2013) [-]
Done, with extra credit.

#165 to #126 - anonymous (06/03/2013) [-]
why would you do that to a fursuit man
some are expensive
#137 to #126 - waacson (06/03/2013) [-]
But it's not on fire...
#170 to #137 - babbylicious (06/03/2013) [-]
Yeah I noticed that a bit too late.
#136 to #126 - ludislavonac (06/03/2013) [-]
I love you
I love you
#173 to #136 - babbylicious (06/03/2013) [-]
Aw thanks ^-^
#124 - bazda ONLINE (06/03/2013) [-]
For more on this topic, google "how to kill yourself like a man, by maddox."
User avatar #121 - camerel (06/03/2013) [-]
Ive always thought skydiving ***** without a parashoot into a football stadium during the super bowl would be pretty sweet
#118 - redrock (06/03/2013) [-]
It's rare for a neck to snap right away with a noose. You'd likely have to wait for the rope to strangle you, a longer wait than you'd imagine since parachutes don't actually create as much drag as you'd expect (when a parachute opens jumpers would break bones if that were the case). You are now slowly choking to death in the air while the car is losing traction in the lose Vegas desert soil.   
   
For this reason, fire would not be advisable as it would probably eat through the rope before you die.   
   
Plus side? You now probably have a mid-air boner as auto-erotic asphyxiation or priapism are both common in hangings (it's well documented in the old West, they called them death erections or angel lust)
It's rare for a neck to snap right away with a noose. You'd likely have to wait for the rope to strangle you, a longer wait than you'd imagine since parachutes don't actually create as much drag as you'd expect (when a parachute opens jumpers would break bones if that were the case). You are now slowly choking to death in the air while the car is losing traction in the lose Vegas desert soil.

For this reason, fire would not be advisable as it would probably eat through the rope before you die.

Plus side? You now probably have a mid-air boner as auto-erotic asphyxiation or priapism are both common in hangings (it's well documented in the old West, they called them death erections or angel lust)
User avatar #128 to #118 - gobnick (06/03/2013) [-]
actually a noose was chosen because if you place the rope facing outward from the left or right shoulder it is in a good position to sever the brain stem. in fact even a decent fall would do the trick too. hence the gallows. in fact the opposite of your statement is what occurs, very very rarely were there hangings where the noose failed to kill immediately after the drop. (i'm guessing you've seen lots of movies where they make it seem as though strangulation is what kills you when hanged but really that is like winning the death lottery in terms of odds)
#167 to #128 - redrock (06/03/2013) [-]
The severing is a product of the hangman's ability to properly calculate the weight and drop of the individual and therefore tie a knot correctly. I based my information off old West history, a place not known for brains. The goal was severing the brain stem but goals are not always met.

The noose's ability to kill depends more on proper tying, proper tying relies on several things but mostly on the weight of the person. A proper knot changes based on that person's weight and the height of the fall.

You tell me how you're going to calculate that when it is no longer gravity but the pull of a car, going at a to-be-determined-on-scene speed on desert soil, and the drag of a parachute, in unknown wind conditions, which is acting with that person's weight.

Thanks for assuming all my knowledge comes from movies though. You must watch some ****** up movies if they include death erections.
User avatar #171 to #167 - gobnick (06/03/2013) [-]
assuming the driver actually wants to try to outrun the police, i imagine they would be traveling at a very high rate of speed, given about ten feet of rope from the steering column, and that he is traveling at about highway speeds, his neck would easily snap. hell, people's necks and brains have been ruined by automobile wrecks on the highway, and they had absolutely every intention of not dying, and they were buckled in. i would say this is absolutely plausible
#172 to #171 - redrock (06/03/2013) [-]
Outrunning police on loose desert soil with a parachute pulling the car up (presumably in the back but whatever that's not important, the car could have 4WD). That's backwards and upwards pull, both acting against the speed of the car which, I cannot stress enough, is not on asphalt but dry and brittle dirt.

Car accidents, or the ones you a presumably referencing, kill easily because of the sudden stop in motion. There is no full stop in motion in this scenario, just drag. The driver is going the same speed as the car and isn't jumping into a full stop. The parachute wouldn't be pulling hard enough for that, it would create drag as it was pulled by the car. Again, this is a pulling motion not a snapping one like at a gallows.

Lastly, ten feet of rope would not be enough at all. You would want the parachute to have as much unfettered backwards pull as possible to maximize the force applied to the neck when the length of rope ran out.
User avatar #176 to #172 - gobnick (06/04/2013) [-]
if a parachute can drop a person from falling at terminal velocity (117-125 mph) down to 18 mph, i'm sure that it can drop a person's speed from highway speeds (and yes, a car can in fact reach these in the desert easily) down to the same, now that would be about a 60 mph deceleration, or velocity put towards the opposite direction (given that he is in fact looped in this rope). i think that snapping a neck like that would be all but impossible to do, in fact, this may even just sever the head from the body completely. now i'll admit ten feet is a little short for certainty, but i can say reasonably that it could do the trick. also, the steering column, most certainly not attached to the back of a car. (also, desert sand or dirt would only have an effect on traction, not much on being able to attain a speed of 60-70 mph, you could certainly even reach 100 mph easily)
#117 - anonymous (06/03/2013) [-]
**anonymous rolls 12,788** The best part is nevada is the perfect place to do that with all the wide open areas and whatnot
#113 - vorrundenaus (06/03/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #110 - bowler (06/03/2013) [-]
why blanks?
User avatar #134 to #110 - garymuthafuknoak (06/03/2013) [-]
don't think your suicide is supposed to involve ******* ...but oh well
#116 to #110 - anonymous (06/03/2013) [-]
because real bullets will get you shot at.
#129 to #116 - anonymous (06/03/2013) [-]
No, dumbass, real bullets would hurt people, you are trying to get chased, not kill innocents. Dum dum.
#138 to #129 - retxab (06/03/2013) [-]
excuse me but your about to kill yourself why the **** do you care about anybody else's well being??
#141 to #138 - coma (06/03/2013) [-]
That statement immediately lets me know YOU are a piece of **** .
#151 to #141 - retxab (06/03/2013) [-]
please go back into your hole and die
please go back into your hole and die
#166 to #151 - anonymous (06/03/2013) [-]
It's okay sir, maybe someday you won't be a ******* . You just keep on kicking and trying your best
#168 to #166 - retxab (06/03/2013) [-]
But..... But I enjoy being a " ******* "
[ 176 comments ]
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)