how /b/ wants to die. . if ynu wanna Q nut in a wacky way, here ynu gm sget a credit card with a high limit ruse it ta by a lumen hate, same mm, and a cine way
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how /b/ wants to die

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Views: 49757
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Submitted: 06/02/2013
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User avatar #8 - captainfuckitall (06/02/2013) [+] (21 replies)
But..but..but..I like Ron Paul!
User avatar #1 - masterfuck (06/02/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Lost it so hard at "Ron Paul 2004"
User avatar #44 - apellon (06/03/2013) [+] (2 replies)
-Go to store
-get 5 milks (Gallons)
-once you're at the register drop them so they bust all over the floor
-make it look like an accident
-Shout "DAMMIT NOT AGAIN!"
-Shoot self in head

~bonus~
-there are children present
#100 - biggrand (06/03/2013) [+] (6 replies)
You will need a blue bathrobe, a journal/ notebook (preferably a fancy looking one), a yellow beanie that will not slip off your scalp, a silver sword (go as cheap as you can, coldsteel makes some of these cheap)
> write in notebook"I believe I may have found the correct formula for the spell I am developing. With it, I will be able to travel great distances without the need to pay others for the service.
If all goes well, I will test out the new spell tomorrow. I believe I have worked out all of the possible complications. It will allow me to leap great distances, covering many hundreds of miles. Never before has one been able to travel in this manner: vaulting from the ground, sailing through the sky, all without that terrible disorientation of a spell of flying.
The time is almost upon me. My research is finished, and all of my calculations are checked and rechecked. They laughed at me when I suggested this. We'll see who laughs after I leap to the top of their towers and scream out my success."
> stand on top of tall building near lake or ocean wearing those items and carrying the sword and journal
> wait until tourist can be spotted coming your way
> jump

Bonus points:
> the person actually reads the journal
> person dosent loot your clothing
> person gets killed by native animal
#126 - babbylicious (06/03/2013) [+] (5 replies)
Done, with extra credit.

User avatar #47 - ctenop (06/03/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Here's what I'd do, and relatively low cost
>Get Razor or piano wire (razor is better), pills, poster, glue and a high building.
>Overdose on my sumatriptan, it's a sulphagen, so it turns your blood green/black in high doses
>go to roof of said high building
>make a noose, stick head in it (duh)
>Staple/attach note to you saying "We have arrived"
>superglue hands to head, over the wire.
>Jump off building.
The razor wire will cut of your head, and it will look like you ripped your own head off, and bled dark green/black blood.

Bonus points
Carve the message into your skin
Create a cavity in your chest, looking like an alien came out of it or something.
Write in an alien/satanic way on your, or be holding the satanic bible etc
Put electrodes on body so you twitch extra violently on the ground




#113 - vorrundenaus (06/03/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #110 - bowler (06/03/2013) [+] (9 replies)
why blanks?
#141 to #138 - coma (06/03/2013) [-]
That statement immediately lets me know YOU are a piece of **** .
User avatar #2 - drynix ONLINE (06/02/2013) [+] (8 replies)
**drynix rolls 55,262** Still waiting till the day I actually see this happen. If I am 80 (or rolled quints) and no one has done it yet it means I am the chosen one. Old man in fursuit ftw!
#149 - Rockaman (06/03/2013) [-]
To make this really boss, put on the Space Jam theme on your car radio at full volume!
#43 - fuckyosixtyminutes (06/03/2013) [+] (2 replies)
No no no no no. This is the best way.

- Get some Kra-ZEE glue and piano wire

- Tie wire around neck

- Find a ledge

- Give yourself plenty of slack in the wire

- Glue hands to face, heel of your hand under your chin

- Leap

The wire will slice through your neck, causing you to hit the ground with a severed head which is glued to your hands. Whoever finds you will think you pulled your own head off.
User avatar #67 to #43 - Sethorein (06/03/2013) [-]
we've all seen that content...
#46 - bennyray (06/03/2013) [+] (2 replies)
What the **** is a riffle?
User avatar #104 to #46 - tdogmeds (06/03/2013) [-]
It's like a rifle, but longer in the middle.
#124 - bazda (06/03/2013) [-]
For more on this topic, google "how to kill yourself like a man, by maddox."
User avatar #133 - doodogger (06/03/2013) [+] (2 replies)
I have a morning ritual that I need to share. I call it "the terminator". First I crouch down in the shower in the classic "naked terminator traveling through time" pose. With my eyes closed I crouch there for a minute, visualizing either Arnold or the guy from the second movie (not the chick in the third one because that one sucked) and I start to hum the terminator theme. Then I slowly rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me to proceed through my day as an emotionless, cyborg badass. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It ruins the fantasy.

Anyone else?
#144 to #133 - zhooker (06/03/2013) [-]
Only problem is I read this several times in several other places already.
User avatar #121 - camerel (06/03/2013) [-]
Ive always thought skydiving naked without a parashoot into a football stadium during the super bowl would be pretty sweet
#118 - redrock (06/03/2013) [+] (5 replies)
It's rare for a neck to snap right away with a noose. You'd likely have to wait for the rope to strangle you, a longer wait than you'd imagine since parachutes don't actually create as much drag as you'd expect (when a parachute opens jumpers would break bones if that were the case). You are now slowly choking to death in the air while the car is losing traction in the lose Vegas desert soil.   
   
For this reason, fire would not be advisable as it would probably eat through the rope before you die.   
   
Plus side? You now probably have a mid-air boner as auto-erotic asphyxiation or priapism are both common in hangings (it's well documented in the old West, they called them death erections or angel lust)
It's rare for a neck to snap right away with a noose. You'd likely have to wait for the rope to strangle you, a longer wait than you'd imagine since parachutes don't actually create as much drag as you'd expect (when a parachute opens jumpers would break bones if that were the case). You are now slowly choking to death in the air while the car is losing traction in the lose Vegas desert soil.

For this reason, fire would not be advisable as it would probably eat through the rope before you die.

Plus side? You now probably have a mid-air boner as auto-erotic asphyxiation or priapism are both common in hangings (it's well documented in the old West, they called them death erections or angel lust)
User avatar #128 to #118 - gobnick (06/03/2013) [-]
actually a noose was chosen because if you place the rope facing outward from the left or right shoulder it is in a good position to sever the brain stem. in fact even a decent fall would do the trick too. hence the gallows. in fact the opposite of your statement is what occurs, very very rarely were there hangings where the noose failed to kill immediately after the drop. (i'm guessing you've seen lots of movies where they make it seem as though strangulation is what kills you when hanged but really that is like winning the death lottery in terms of odds)
#23 - anonymous (06/03/2013) [+] (49 replies)
**anonymous rolls 001,775**
User avatar #45 to #23 - jacksipian ONLINE (06/03/2013) [-]
**jacksipian rolls 924,216** take mine
User avatar #16 - Snookbone (06/02/2013) [-]
"...parasailing through the dessert".

Photoshoppers, you know what to do.
User avatar #146 - mrgoodlove (06/03/2013) [+] (1 reply)
That would totally work if it weren't for the 7 second delay they have on tv.

>get wire from cheese cutter
>wrap it around your neck like a noose
>get on a chair
>superglue hands to head
>jump off the chair
Now it looks like you ripped your head off with your bare hands.
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